Chapter 37

“M-Maid… Wait…!”

Slam!

Lilith slammed the door shut and disappeared outside the room irritatedly.

Catching sight of her from behind, Ethan Richard Blackwood couldn’t help but be lost in various thoughts for a moment.

For the first time since birth, he felt the complete emotion of murderous intent.

Someone genuinely wanted to kill him and actually attempted to take his life.

As the Blackwood family’s noble heir, it was the first time he could experience such a harsh and extreme emotion.

Under that tremendous pressure, Ethan could not get up from his spot for a while, even after Lilith had left the room.

“…I…”

He just wanted to get the maid’s attention.

She rarely reacted no matter how much he joked around, so he just wanted to get her more attention.

In the past, Ethan was too young and naive to realize his actions could incur such deep resentment and hatred.

This current situation was a result of that.

The pressure of having his neck strangled by the maid’s hands and the faint marks left on his neck from being choked.

In his fading consciousness, he directly faced Lilith’s expression full of rage.

Then she hesitated to take his life, shedding tears.

Finally, after spewing all kinds of curses, criticism, and maledictions, the view of the maid from behind disappeared outside the room.

The events the still immature Ethan experienced contained stimuli so intense that each one was vividly etched into his mind.

It also became an opportunity for him to realize for the first time that the pranks he had been pulling were wrong.

“Maid…”

Although he could not comprehend all the words Lilith said, he could feel most of the intense emotions she conveyed.

He even grasped the nature of the unfamiliar feeling she had been sending him until now.

Until this point, Ethan deliberately acted foolishly and disappointingly to avoid others’ gazes and expectations.

But for some reason, he was now overwhelmed with the desire to receive those gazes and expectations he had shunned so much.

And that desire was directed solely at one person.

“……”

Recalling Lilith expressing her hatred toward him with her whole being until the very last moment, Ethan felt a painful emotion piercing his chest.

If he apologized to her now, could he be forgiven?

He didn’t want to drift permanently apart from the maid like this.

Could they return to that relationship from when they secretly promised to meet alone in the kitchen at dawn?

Could he return to the relationship where he told her the secret they shared in the kitchen when he was in danger and received her gratitude?

If he could, he wanted to apologize to the maid immediately for what he had done.

However, recalling her reaction towards him just now, it seemed unlikely she would respond well, no matter how much of an adolescent boy he was.

“….!”

He didn’t want to see that terrifying expression again, if possible.

He was afraid to face Lilith’s gaze, filled with utter loathing and hatred towards him.

It was also hard to imagine that a mere apology could suffice for all the misdeeds he had committed until now.

Although Ethan’s current cognition was at the level of an adolescent boy, he had a past of being involved with many people from a noble household.

If feelings could be mended with just one apology, this whole incident would not have occurred in the first place.

“Ah……”

The towel was torn and stretched beyond repair.

The same towel that had been used to strangle his neck seemed to express the depth of the maid’s resentment and hatred towards him.

Ethan could sense that restoring his relationship with the maid would be as difficult as returning these stretched clothes to their original state.

Ordinarily, for such a complex problem, it was in Ethan’s nature to inform his father and wait for Harold Richard Blackwood to resolve it.

However, regarding this particular incident today, he could not tell his father about it, no matter what.

Because the moment this reached his father’s ears, Lilith’s future was obvious.

Just as she said to him before leaving his room:

Having already lost his mother once, the concept of death was no longer something incomprehensible to Ethan.

It’s irreversible once it occurs, and you can never meet that person again after experiencing it.

The moment he informs his father about the incident where he almost died by Lilith’s hands:

“……”

Even an adolescent boy like him clearly understood that Lilith would become someone he could never meet again, just like his mother.

Although Lilith hated him enough to want to kill him, Ethan himself did not hate Lilith to the point of wanting her dead.

Rather, he wanted to prevent her death by any means, to feel even a bit more of the nostalgic emotions from his childhood towards her.

At the very least, he did not want to make her someone he could never see again like this.

To resolve this issue that he could not consult his father or others about, he’d have to somehow convey his apology to Lilith, his exclusive maid.

That was the first task Ethan Richard Blackwood had to face.@@novelbin@@

The next day, morning.

“….Haaaaa”

I already resented my body, which automatically woke up at 5 am, and was in sync with the maid’s daily routine.

‘Still, I wished I could at least sleep in on my last day.’

Since I was already fully awake, lying on the bed wouldn’t allow me to fall back asleep in this gloomy mood.

I sat quietly on the bed, awaiting the punishment that would befall me.

‘By now, Ethan has probably already told Harold and then some.’

In fact, I didn’t really sleep properly, anticipating something would happen while I slept.

I figured Harold would go berserk the moment he found out I tried to kill Ethan and barge into my room.

Yet the reason he didn’t barge in amid my sleep was perhaps his final consideration before taking my life.

Although not my original intent, I did manage to retrieve Thanasia’s necklace, which was almost lost forever, thanks to my efforts.

While I didn’t mean to earn a good evaluation, I also have the record of taking down the Hooked Tusk that appeared in the commercial district in place of the territory’s guards.

Looking back on my achievements as Lilith, maybe an exception could be made, and I wouldn’t receive the death penalty.

They might just gouge out both my eyes and banish me from the territory or give me a “service” punishment at Silverwood like Ariana and Alicia.

…Either way would probably suck just as much.

I might as well just die if those were the punishments.

Though I’m not sure if I’ll even have the choice…

Perhaps because I was facing a second death so closely, I kept envisioning the faces of Isabel and Catherine flickering before me.

“…I should have at least said goodbye to them.”

I didn’t want to needlessly worry them beforehand by doing something like that. But if I had known I would exit this gracefully, bidding them farewell in advance may not have been a bad idea.

The fact that the estate’s guards didn’t come to apprehend me amidst commotion means Harold likely wants to handle this quietly in his own way.

He could probably make up some excuse like Isabel or Catherine getting transferred elsewhere, so they wouldn’t have to know the truth.

Their close friend and colleague suddenly disappearing overnight would undoubtedly be quite a shock in many ways. Leaving them some reassuring words may not have been a bad idea.

Of course, that, too, would become meaningless if Harold publicly announced my crime and sentenced me to death.

‘It’s really perplexing.’

In fact, I had contemplated using the Shockwave and Magic Arrow spells I learned to raise hell in the estate before leaving, but I ultimately decided against it.

The moment I committed any further transgressions in this situation, it could have affected Isabel and Catherine in some way.

Catherine kept my ability to use magic a secret, so she could have been in greater jeopardy had I acted recklessly.

‘If I’m leaving, it’s enough that just I go. What meaning is there in making an ugly mess now?’

And thinking about it, even if I die, it’s just the game’s protagonist who will suffer more, right?

Of course, the “Luminor Academy” game itself was just an SRPG side story with a decent playtime length, so it’s not like it would be impossible to clear without Lilith to the point of being excessively difficult.

At the very least, Lilith’s presence or absence would undoubtedly cause a meaningful change in the game’s difficulty level.

Moreover, suppose by chance, the person playing the protagonist’s role in this world was also reincarnated like me. In that case, they might struggle a bit in the early stages of the timeline where Lilith disappears.

Of course, whether the protagonist was reincarnated or not, and the plot progression of “Luminor Academy” itself, are now irrelevant matters to me.

Still, having cried throughout the evening allowed me to organize my emotions quite a bit.

I may not be ready to simply accept whatever future and hardships lie before me…

But I was at least resigned enough to steel myself for death.

‘If it’s the death penalty, I’ll obediently accept it. If I’m taken somewhere like the Silverwood territory, I’ll look for an opportunity to attempt suicide.’

Even triple-casting Magic Arrow to target my vitals should be enough for an instant death, right?

With those thoughts in mind, I first changed into my maid uniform.

Then, in case guards were waiting for me outside, I took a deep breath to prepare.

“….Phew.”

I can’t help but be tense.

In my previous life, I died in an accident, so I didn’t need to mentally prepare for death back then.

In this case, though, steeling myself for an unwanted death requires mental preparation that’s difficult to achieve.

At 6 am, the usual time for starting my work, I left the exclusive maid’s waiting room, feigning nonchalance as much as possible.

The moment I opened the door and saw the face before me, I was so startled I nearly fell backward.

“…!”

“…M-maid.”

It was the only son of the Blackwood family, Ethan Richard Blackwood – the very person I had tried to strangle to death yesterday – waiting for me right outside the door.