25.

**Short and sweet**

Hayes curled up tight into a fetal position, a death grip on the pillow that she had squished between her stomach and her knees.

She closed her eyes tight, wishing she had the power to will the pain away. If only there was an easy route to take that would alleviate her pain within minutes.

No, she was stronger than that.

Highly uncomfortable, Hayes flipped over to lay on her other side. She shoved her head into the pillow letting out a little whine. She didn't sign up for this. Could she have a refund?

Because being a female sucked right about now.

She'd rate her pain a 10 out of 10 on the pain scale, the worst of the worst.

Which brought along good news, sort of. If she could get through these next couple of hours, it was all downhill from here, though there certainly didn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel. This cycle was to repeat once again next month.

Hayes curled into herself even more as a cramp hit her followed by shivers. That was the other annoying thing, besides just being uncomfortable due to the pain, she also couldn't regulate her body temperature.

Blanket on - scorching hot.

Blanket off - freezing cold.

Blanket on with one foot sticking out - just no.

There was no winning against mother nature for the time being. No getting around being uncomfortable.

Thankfully the worst of her pain lasted for maybe 24 hours, then she'd be good as new, minus the whole bleeding part for 5 days, but that's just a minuscule detail.

Giving up on her attempt to sleep through it, Hayes sat up, instantly pulling her knees to her chest, the pillow remaining tucked against her stomach. Sometimes when she was lucky, the pressure of the pillow combated the painful cramps. But only sometimes.

Even though she hadn't been sleeping, it still was a little disorienting for a moment as she let her eyes adjust to the dark room.

Like always, she had no clue what time it was but at least recognized that it was after midnight. Austin had already done his bed checks for the night, his routine before he went to sleep himself. Hayes had only been lightly sleeping at that point and woke up when he opened the door. She was instantly busted, of course, since Austin had that sibling 6th sense.

Hayes should really bother her brothers for an alarm clock, especially now since her phone was confiscated except while at school.

Her guess? probably 1 am.

Perfect time for ice cream. It was 5 o'clock somewhere, right?  Hayes laughed at herself, because that saying totally applied to more than just alcohol.

The girl could wish.

Hayes briefly skimmed the floor for her favorite sweatshirt before remembering that Austin had snatched it away when he had the chance. According to him, it was due for a wash.

Humph.

Guess she'll just have to go get another one now and she might as well grab her partner-in-crime, too.

It'd be just like the old days, where Glen loyally stayed up all night with her when Hayes had cramps. Then again, it's not like he had a choice. They shared the same bedroom.

Digging deep inside to find her grit, Hayes tossed the pillow to the side and did a slow tumble off the bed. Standing up, she quickly wrapped her arms around her stomach, her shoulders curling in.

Hayes shuffled out of the bedroom, turning right to go into her brothers' room next door. She quietly opened the door, her eyes instantly darting to the bed that was straight ahead. Her feet started moving, on a mission to pick up Francis' comforter that had been kicked to the floor. Couldn't have Francesca freeze to death.

Hayes' thoughts amused herself, she must be spending too much time with Dakota.

Good deed of the day done, Hayes refocused onto her sweatshirt hunt. Usually the boys' bedroom floor was covered with random pieces of clothing but surprisingly she could see the carpet.

That's disappointing.

Glen must have finally had enough and jammed everything into the laundry basket. He was a lowkey clean freak.

She would know, since he was constantly cleaning up after her. Their bedroom at the Bear's house only remained clean purely because of Glen's insistence. Well, plus the threat of the Bear just throwing their stuff away because he didn't like the mess.

Ah, the perks of being the little sister.

Oooh, shiny.

Hayes bent down and picked up the chain that had been left on the floor, slightly hidden underneath a pair of sneakers. Okay, so she could see most of the carpet.

She recognized it as Francis' necklace. Her brother never took it off, except to sleep apparently. Weird. The dog tag was smooth as she moved it between her fingers, examining it. Hayes could feel an engraving on one side but it was too dark for her to make out what it said.

Deciding to be nosy about it later, Hayes placed it gently on top of his dresser. Spinning on her feet, Hayes went to retreat back out of the bedroom when she spotted the real golden ticket. A tiny grin appeared amongst the crampy pain at the sight of Francis' sweatshirt hanging on the back of the desk chair.

Hayes wasted no time putting it on, feeling much more comfortable with the sweatshirt on now. It draped down past her shorts, making it appear that she had no pants on. Along with her messy hair, it was the classic Hayes look.

Satisfied, Hayes left the room, carefully closing the door as to not make a noise. She had ultimately decided against bothering Glen because in the split second that her eyes fell on him, she recognized his need for a good night's sleep. He was passed out on his back, which he never was.

Glen must have knocked out as soon as his head touched the pillow.

Hayes made it down the stairs without alerting any of her brothers that she was awake. A success in its own right.

She looped around the staircase and headed into the kitchen. She opened the freezer before bending over for a moment, her arm tightening against her stomach. Ooof, Cramp attack.

Letting out a breath of air, Hayes recovered and looked for the glorious cartoon of ice cream. There was no more ice cream cake left unfortunately, having finally finished it a couple days ago so her options now were boring vanilla, strawberry, or mint chocolate chip.

On any other day, she would have gone with the mint chocolate chip with no hesitation. The ice cream was bought solely for her, but a wave of nausea hit her when she went to grab it.

Abort mission!

Hayes covered her mouth, hoping the urge to vomit would dissipate. The last thing she needed was to wake up her brothers by the lovely sound of puking in the toilet. Thankfully, the feeling vanished after a few seconds, leaving Hayes with a new craving.

Mission: operation bread.

What she really craved was a fresh loaf of Italian bread straight from the bakery but since she didn't have many options at the moment, the bread she found in the cabinet worked just as nice. Carbs were carbs. Two pieces of bread in her hand, plus the one she was already munching on in her mouth, Hayes was happy. Craving satisfied.

Not going to lie, she momentarily debated just storing the rest of the loaf of bread in the sweatshirt pouch but she didn't want to overdue it. Plus they needed the bread for sandwiches for their school lunch.

Not wanting to go back upstairs, Hayes left the kitchen to go into the family room. The lights were off but the television remained on, producing flickering lights as it played a show. She shouldn't have even been surprised anymore that indeed, one of her brothers was up at this random hour.

"Hi," Hayes' voice was muffled due to the mouth full of bread. She nonchalantly made her way to the couch to sit next to Dakota, ignoring the slight look of surprise on his face. "What?" she asked naively, bending her knees up and pulling the sweatshirt over her legs. She briefly looked at the body of another brother passed out on the couch against the other wall before tilting her head to the side as she stared up at Dakota.

Dakota worked hard to stop his lips from twitching upwards. "The fuck you think you're doing?"

"Nothing?" She replied, biting off another piece from her bread stack.

"You're not even going to offer me any? Fucking rude."

Hayes furrowed her eyebrows, "Want some?" She purposely held out the slice she took a bite from.

Dakota chuckled as he pushed her hand away. "What are you doing up?"

"What are you doing up?" she returned curiously. Her eyes flickered back to Colton's sleeping form before looking expectantly at Dakota.

This certainly wasn't the first time she'd seen this and definitely not the last either.

"Couldn't sleep," Dakota grumbled, facing back towards the television to watch the movie that was playing. It was one of his favorites.

"Me neither," Hayes also faced forward. Her eyes brightened at recognition of the movie, she'd seen it so many times she could recite the lines in her sleep.

Dakota's arm landed around her waist and pulled her body closer to him. Hayes leaned her head against his shoulder, sighing lightly. She had been momentarily distracted by Dakota but the cramps were making themselves known again.

"You alright?" Dakota asked. The girl kept shifting around to get comfortable.

"Yeah," Hayes mumbled mindlessly, flinching when Dakota poked her side. He didn't believe that. "My stomach hurts a little," Hayes admitted.

"Want drugs?"

"No!"

"Shhh," Dakota covered her mouth at her outburst. Hayes eyes' widened as both siblings turned to look at Colton. When he didn't stir after a couple breaths, Dakota lowered his hand.

"Jesus, that's not what I meant," Dakota said frustration seeping out of his voice, "Fuck, do you want pain meds? Like ibuprofen or something."

The siblings shared the three bathrooms in the house, so it wasn't exactly a secret for the brothers to know that Hayes was on her period.

"No," Hayes said firmly, though much more quietly this time. "Sorry," she added sheepishly. She wasn't trying to wake up their sleeping brother.

"I know you're in pain." Dakota blatantly stated.

Hayes ignored him, staring ahead at the movie as she ate another piece of her bread. Thanks, Kota. She knew she was in pain, too.

She could feel Dakota staring a hole into her head before he finally relented and turned back to the tv.

Finishing off the last slice, Hayes wrapped her arms tightly around her stomach, squeezing her eyes shut as she turned her head into Dakota's side, a particularly painful cramp hit her.

Dakota pulled her impossibly closer, laying his arm over hers, holding her tight. Medication wasn't the only thing that would make the young girl feel better.

A brother's snuggle could be a miracle worker, too.

"It scares me," Hayes' words were just loud enough to hit Dakota's ears. "How easily mom got addicted, I'm scared I could be next. That's why I don't take medicine."

Dakota didn't reply right away. He was honored that his sister chose to open up to him and he didn't want to screw it up.

"Glen had it worse than me," Hayes continued, shifting her arms so she could grab Dakota's hand in both of hers. It was easier to share her deepest darkest secrets when she had something to distract herself with. She didn't even know why she was telling Dakota this, but she trusted him. "He took a lot of hits. Tried to protect me but sometimes she was just vicious. We don't talk about it, obviously," Hayes snorted, to which Dakota laced their fingers together and squeezed her hand, "and I don't have much memories about it. He doesn't think I remember this but one time he, uh," Hayes paused. She tilted her head up to look at Dakota's expression. He met her eyes, reflecting patience, curiosity, and love back to her. She'd seen this in her other brothers' eyes but it was a first for Dakota. Usually he displayed annoyance.

Hayes blinked, before turning back around. She wiped her nose, accidently using the back of Dakota's hand instead of her own. Dakota grimaced but didn't say anything. "We came home from school later than usual and mom was home and she asked if we wanted to join her and Glen, uh, he said yes. I remember the Bear was so mad. Like, he got angry a lot, but this time was different. I remember him running out of his bedroom and he started yelling at her. It was scary," Hayes mumbled, lost in the memory.

"Then what happened?"

"I guess Glen and I hid in our room. We didn't want to get in trouble."

"What about mom?"

Hayes chewed her lip. "I dunno. She left on trips randomly and just didn't come back one time."

Dakota let the silence encompass them. Although he didn't say anything but he did have one disturbing passing thought. That was when Vince Merling killed her. Glen craved the drugs she was using and he got rid of her.

Wow.

Hayes focused back on the movie, recognizing one of her favorite scenes.

"Yippee-Ki-Yay, motherfucker," Hayes mouthed along, or so she thought.

Dakota laughed in surprise, "You've seen this movie?"

"Greatest Christmas movie of all time," Hayes replied, grinning sheepishly up at him. She didn't mean to swear aloud, but it was so worth it to hear Dakota laugh.

"I'm impressed."

"It's the Bear's favorite. We watch it every year when it plays on tv."

In an uncharacteristic move, Dakota wrapped his other arm around Hayes' embracing her in a hug. He didn't think it was possible to love his little sister any more. "Wow, a girl after my own heart, huh Sunshine."

Hayes giggled, "Totally."

"Quiet, kids," Colton mumbled sleepily, one of his eyes squinting in their direction. "Why do I see Hayes?"

"You're dreaming," Dakota replied, pushing Hayes' head down when she giggled some more.

"Go to sleep," Colton ordered, trying to sound stern but the rubbing of his eye downplayed his bossiness. He looked much younger than his 26 years right now as a sleepy boy.

"Yes, Colton," Hayes said, her eyes twinkling in amusement as she watched him squint some more at her before turning his head to face the back of the couch. He was fast asleep in seconds.

"Nightmares."

"Huh?" Hayes looked up at Dakota. It was his turn to stare straight ahead, avoiding her gaze. His turn to be vulnerable.

"I get pretty fucking bad nightmares. That's why I'm down here." Dakota explained. Hayes watched as he glanced over to Colton, a brief look of appreciation crossed his face. "They are so fucking stubborn about keeping me company, Colton's the worst though."

Hayes wrinkled her nose in confusion.

"When I get the nightmares, it's like they always know. One of them wakes up and joins me in here. It's hard for me to go back to sleep afterwards, you know? So I watch tv to clear my head and they sit in here and then obviously fall asleep like big man over there."

"What are they about?" Hayes asked, pushing her luck. she wasn't sure if her question would shut him down or if he'd open up to her.

Dakota let out a shaky breath. The nightmares never changed, so he hadn't shared them with anyone in a long time. All his brothers already knew, with the exception of Glen, of course.

"The car crash, mostly."

"I was in the car with you."

"You were." Dakota confirmed.

Hayes shivered. "I get those nightmares sometimes, too."

"I know." Dakota playfully pulled the hood up and over her eyes, contrasting the somber look the filled his eyes. "For a very long time after that, I was in a dark place. I couldn't play soccer because of my knee and then Jane happened. Honestly, I probably shouldn't even be here but Austin and Baker were stubborn motherfuckers. They saw past my bullshit attempts at keeping everyone at a distance and wouldn't let me go."

"I wanted to kill myself." It hurt Dakota to admit that to his little sister. He felt pathetic, compared to what she'd been through. He leaned his forehead against Hayes' head, closing his eyes tight. If he had succeeded, he wouldn't be here with his Sunshine right now.

"I almost did, too. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I'm right back there. Sucked right back into that mind game. It's fucking terrifying. But then these cute little blonde babies pop into my head along with the toddlers and that dude over there and the other two old fuckers." Dakota chuckled, "And I remember what I'd be missing out on. Who I'd be missing out on and the pain I would have caused them."

"It would have been so fucking selfish of me." Dakota kissed her head before laying his chin on her head instead, hugging her tight. "For some reason, they all thought I was worthy of being loved."

Am worthy, as the brothers constantly remind him.

Hayes could feel the tears slowly trailing down her cheeks, extra emotional with the bonus hormones flowing through her body. She never realized how much her brother had been silently suffering.

"I'm happy you're here," Hayes said earnestly.

"Me too." Wasn't that the truth.

"I love you, Dakota. And I'll love you forever and ever."

Now it was Dakota's turn to be an emotional sap. He blinked rapidly as his vision went blurry for a moment. Fuck man, when did he turn into such a softy.

"You're never alone, Kota. Even on your darkest days, there will always be sunshine right here, pushing to come out. " Hayes whispered as she reached over and patted his chest, right where his heart lay. "Plus all our annoying brothers are in there, too. But I like to think I'm the favorite." Hayes added with a mischievous grin, easing up the mood.

Dakota huffed out a laugh at her cheekiness as he briskly wiped his eyes, before saying words he never imagined himself saying so frequently before his baby siblings came back. He playfully poked her side before tugging a strand of her hair that escaped her hood.

"I love you, too, Sunshine." Forever and ever.

Dakota then cleared his throat, retaining what was left of his manliness, "and don't you fucking tell anyone about this, or else."

Hayes chortled as the Dakota she knew and loved wiped away some of her own tears now. "Roger, roger."

Dakota rolled his eyes as he settled down against the couch, Hayes snuggled into his side so they could finish out the movie. It was amazing how relieving it felt to share some of the weight that had been holding them down. Maybe this 'no more secrets' thing will be a good change for everyone.

🎶Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy

Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry

Sunshine on the water looks so lovely

Sunshine almost always makes me high🎶

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Surprise! not the chapter you were probably expecting, but beggars can't be choosers, hehe.

Also, I have a test in 3ish(?) weeks, so not ghosting I promise. Just studying. Might not be another chapter until afterwards 🥲