By
Brynn Morgan
Copyright © 2023 by â Brynn Morgan â All Rights Reserved.
It is not legal to reproduce, duplicate, or transmit any part of this document in either electronic means or printed format. Recording of this publication is strictly prohibited.
Chapter 17
Emily woke up covered in Davis's plush navy blue blanket. She stretched her legs out and met his body, pressing her foot into his left side. He stirred and was lying across the foot of the bed with his arms folded on his stomach. Emily rose and looked at him, at his profile as he rested, and the night before hit her hard in the gut. She remembered everything.
Emily collapsed against the pillows and blocked the sunlight streaming through the window above his desk with her arms. Was last night real? Had she almost died? Emily lying in Davis's bed confirmed that it was true. Her head pounded like she had been hit over the head with a hammer and eyes ached and burned from crying. She did remember having another nightmare during the night and feeling Davis shake her awake and smooth her hair back from her face.
Emily shifted from her position, and Davis stirred. He woke up and turned his head. Davis looked at her, and he was breathless with how stunning she was in the early morning light, with her wavy red hair loose around her shoulders and her blue eyes huge and unreadable at that moment in her heart-shaped face.
He smiled at her. "Mornin," he said softly.
Emily looked sheepishly at him and was not sure what to say or how to react to him. She was in his bed, wrapped up in his blanket. It just seemed so intimate to her. That was wrong. Right? She should not be in this bed. She tossed back the covers, scooted
across the mattress quickly, and was dizzy with the effort. She held her head to try to stop the pounding.
"Mornin," she murmured, feeling very awkward and embarrassed from the events of the night before, and she felt super dizzy.
Davis got up and walked into the connected bathroom, and she heard him turning on the faucet and getting something out of the medicine cabinet. "Here. Take these." He said as he walked back toward her and handed her the glass with water and a couple of Advil.
Emily looked up at him and groaned as she took the meds and sipped the water. "Thank you, Davis."
There was a light knock on the door. "Come in," Davis said; the door opened, and Lainie walked in.
She looked at Emily sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Hey there." How are you this morning?" She asked as she folded her arms and watched her with concern.
"I feel like I have been drugged and am so lethargic."
Lainie nodded. "With what you experienced last night. That is to be expected, my dear. You are probably still slightly in shock."
Davis walked over and sat down beside Emily. "You have a nurse at your disposal, so you are in good hands." He said, slapped his knees with his hands, and popped up. "I will get some coffee brewing and make breakfast for us." Davis left the room.
Lainie took her brother's place beside Emily. "We were apprehensive for you last night. Do you need to rest?"
Emily sighed and then looked at Lainie with a stern look. "What I need is to find out what in the hell attacked me last night, Lainie. Something was trying to kill me! What was that, and why me? I don't understand any of this."
Lainie patted her on the shoulder. "I feel that a lot may be revealed once we read Elizabeth's diaries."
Emily looked at her and hoped that she was right.
*****************
Lainie and Emily drove to the Summerhill County library after breakfast while Davis cared for Bella at the farm.
The interior of the library was so quiet, and relaxed Emily. She had always loved libraries. Emily loved the peaceful environment.
They walked up to the large and long counter, and a young woman with short blond hair and a pleasing smile looked up from her computer. "How may I help you?" Lainie told her what they were looking for, and the librarian began to search. Her name tag said, Grace. "Well, let's see if we can find that for you." They waited at the desk for a few minutes, and then she said. "Yep, we have them, but they are located in the basement with the genealogies, etc..."
Lainie patted the top of the desk softly. "Great."
Grace smiled. "Y'all are welcome to wait up here while I find them, or you can also come down there. It may be a bit of a search for them because we always have historians and authors researching down in that area." She told them. "They could be scattered to the four winds, or we might be able to put our hands right on them." she chuckled. "You just never know in this place."
Lainie and Emily opted to go down there with her. They descended a few flights of carpeted steps and then entered the basement section of the library. It was dark and gloomy, with old fluorescent fixtures that cast a yellow light and made everything look sickly and uninteresting to Emily.
The three women walked down the aisles of books, which was almost overwhelming. There were so many journals, and they were thrown haphazardly on shelves with no rhyme or reason. How would they find them in this mess? Three gray metal bookcases reached from the top of the ceiling down to the floor. They decided they would separate, each going to a different place and look.
************
Some time had passed, at least an hour, and with no success. Emily and Lainie were on the floor with piles of journals they had pulled from the shelves and stacked in front of them. Finally, Grace exclaimed. "Eureka!"
Lainie and Emily hurried over to the last bookcase and saw Grace with leather-bound journals in her arms. She smiled at the ladies. "Here you go!"
She handed the journals to Lainie. There were six of them, and they were covered in brown leather. The stitching was exquisite, and the initials were etched deep into the leather E.M.H. on the cover. To be from the eighteen hundred's, they were in terrific shape.
Lainie handed three of them to Emily, and she took the other three. They looked at Grace.
"Can we take these, or must we read them here?" Lainie asked.
Grace studied their faces and decided that they were trustworthy. "I normally would say that they must be kept on the premises, but since they are not typical books, I can let you check them out."
They were thrilled with her response and the three women went back upstairs. Grace checked the journals out for them.
Lainie and Emily hurried to the car, and once inside, Emily ran her fingertips over the initials carved into the cover. "Do you mind if I read while you are driving?"
Lainie shook her head. "No. Not at all."
Emily opened the leather cover. It had aged well and had a fine patina. She then turned to the first page, which smelled of dust and mothballs contained for decades in a box. The page crinkled beneath her fingers satisfactorily.
***
September 10th, 1842
Today should be the happiest day of my life. I am getting married. But I am not excited, for I am being forced into a marriage with a man I do not love. I have no say in the matter; Father says and told me that he does not wish to hear another word about it. So that is it. I have no say-so over my own life. I must marry James Hastings today. It will be a loveless marriage, I can assure you. I have known him for over two years and know of his ways. I have heard the whispers from the servants about his reputation in the hallways. He is a ladies' man, and we are only marrying because we are merging two very wealthy families with impeccable breeding. I am richer than him, however.
September 11th, 1842
I am married, and I am miserable. I do not like him. He is mean, and he forced himself on me last night. I asked if I could have some time, and he cruelly laughed at me and pinned me down. Marriage is not for women but for men and their pleasures alone. It was so humiliating. I would not remember anymore if I could, but I know he will return tonight.
***
Emily flipped a few more pages.
Oct 26th, 1842
I may be expecting a child. I wake up so sick every morning, and I remember my mother being extremely ill with my younger siblings. If I am indeed pregnant, this will make James happy. His posterity is being preserved. I know that he will want a boy. I am not going to tell him yet. I want to keep this secret to myself for the time being.
November 3rd, 1842
I am growing now, and I will not be able to hide it from him or the servants for much longer.
December 24th, 1842
The secret is out. I told James that I was expecting, and he was overjoyed. He picked me up and swung me around, whooping and hollering. He is ecstatic about it and gave all the men at the Christmas party cigars to celebrate. This child could be good for James and me. This baby could bring happiness to our marriage. The physician is predicting the child to be born in late spring.
May 5th, 1843
She is beautiful. I have named her Georgia since we visited friends in the fall who live in Atlanta, and I loved being there. I want to buy a country home there one day. She is a beautiful child with James's fair hair and inherited my dark eyes. She is a quiet and agreeable child. Georgia barely cries. She has made me so happy. I have something of my own now, and the void in my life has been filled.
***********
"So that was the first daughter, Georgia," Lainie commented as she drove, and Emily nodded.
"Yes. She sounded like she loved her." Emily said and flipped through some more of the pages.
***
August 17th, 1843
James is taking me to Paris for our first anniversary. I cannot wait to go there. I have heard it is a beautiful city steeped in history and culture. He commented tonight that he is ready for us to have a brother for Georgia. He has left me alone for months now. I would not say I like the idea of him returning to my bed. He makes my skin crawl.
*****************
Lainie chuckled. "She did not like him, did she? "
Emily shook her head. "Sure, as hell doesn't sound like it." She kept reading.
*********************
March 20th, 1844
I have never been so sick in my life. I am praying to God that I make it. The motion of the waves and the ship does not help me. Angry storms and rough weather have plagued us. I am tired of bending over the chamber pot with Anne holding my hair back. I was not this sick with Georgia, but this makes me miserable. I hope it is James' precious boy that he wants so badly and will never touch me again. I long to see the shores of South Carolina and my home.
***
July 31st, 1844
Georgia has a sister. I named her Paris for my love of that city. James said that he would let me call our girls, and he would choose names for his sons. My physician recommended that I should not have any more children with how she had to be delivered. Paris was born by cutting my stomach open. I hurt so badly. He said that I could not have her naturally, which could cause problems for me with any future children I might have. Paris is the prettiest baby girl. She looks just like me with her headful of dark hair and deep brown eyes. She will break many hearts. I thought at times that I would not survive this little one. I adore her, and I am happy that Georgia has a sister.
September 2nd, 1844
I hate James. He told me this morning that I need to do my wifely duty. Paris is not two months old yet, and he wants to be with me. He has been going down to the servants' quarters at night for quite some time now. I followed him tonight after dinner. He is with the pretty Irish girl with long red hair. Her name is Clara. He can go to her bed. Because if he is with her, then he is not touching me.
September 9th, 1844
I want to die. James burst into my room last night drunk and forced me to lie with him. He was so rough and mean. I have bruises on my wrist and other private parts of my body. I wish to God that I could leave and take my girls with me. This is no kind of life, but I would not be able to survive if I did. My father would disown me, and I would lose my inheritance.
November 6th, 1844
I am pregnant. Please, God, no. I hope that I lose it. This child was conceived horribly, and if it is born, I fear I will hate it because of what James did to me.
***
Emily paused. "He raped her. How horrible for Elizabeth." Emily moaned. She felt great sympathy for her.
"He sounds like a real bastard," Lainie agreed.
******************
February 7th, 1845
I have done everything that I can to lose this baby. I avoid eating. It grows. I fell off my mare on purpose, and it still grows. It still grows. My waist thickens. No matter what I do. It still grows. I want it to die. Why won't it die?
March 16th, 1845
It is hopeless now. James knows. He came into my dressing room this morning as I was changing, and I was unaware he was watching. He saw my swollen, distended belly, and he left the room with a smug look. I just wanted to smack him so hard and erase it.
April 1st, 1845
This pregnancy has been different from the others, making me think it may be a boy. If it is, I will welcome it because giving James the son he covets will make my life so much easier. I have not had one bout of morning sickness all these months, and I grow bigger, and the baby inside of me grows stronger every day. Please be a boy.
May 12th, 1845
I am due to deliver at any moment. I am bedridden because of my swollen ankles, and my back is aching badly. It is so humid and sticky in this room. The contractions started early this morning, and my servant girl told me that James was pacing back and forth in the library like a caged lion. He wants his son as much as I do.
*******************
Lainie drove down the gravel driveway and parked. She and Emily entered the house, and Davis and Bella were nowhere to be seen. "They must still be over at the stables. One of his mares is due to be delivered at any time, and his truck is parked over there." Lainie said, pointing to the stables.
Lainie fixed sandwiches for lunch, and she and Emily sat down at the table in the dining room. Emily continued reading from the third journal. Emily had flipped through them, looking for only the most important entries.
May 13th, 1845
God hates me. James hates me. I have delivered another girl.
*********************
Emily stopped in her tracks. "Hold on a minute. That is strange."
Lainie took a sip of her water. "What is?"
Emily grabbed Clarrisa's report and flipped to the page with the children's names. Her eyes widened. "Georgia was the firstborn, then Paris and then London, which was a twin, and her brother had died at childbirth," she said slowly.
"I don't understand," Lainie said.
Emily looked at her. "Elizabeth says, I have delivered another girl, and Lainie, this was in 1845. According to the family genealogy, London was not born until late 1847."
Lainie's eyes widened, too. "Keep reading. Something is not adding up here."
***
May 22nd, 1845
I cannot look at her. I cannot hold her. I hate her, and I know down deep in my heart that my feelings are wrong, and I know that I will have to answer to God for it, and I will be cast into eternal hell for these thoughts, but I want nothing to do with her, and I do not claim her as my daughter. She was spawned in the evilest act committed by her father, and she is a reminder of how she was conceived and the tortured night that I endured at his hand. She was created by force, not by passion. I have not even given her a name. James says that she is a disappointment but that she should have a Christian name, but I do not want to name her, and he does not care to have anything to do with her. I hear her crying at night. She is hungry, but I cannot hold her to my breasts and let her feed. I tried, and I vomited. To me, she is just a girl. She is nothing to me.
July 7th, 1845
I have moved the girl into a different room away from the nursery. I want her to be far away from Georgia and Paris. I have assigned Clara, my husband's whore, the Irish girl, to be her nurse, and she can take care of her from this point forward. She is her mother now. I heard her call her Penelope this morning, and I told her that she is not to call her that in my presence, and if she does, I will fire her and send her back to the hovel she came from. If she calls her that in private, fine, but she is the girl to all the rest of us, and she will remain so.
*****************
Emily held her hand to her mouth in shock and horror and looked fearfully at Lainie. "Lainie!" Her eyes were filled with distress. "She called her the girl, just like your mother did!"
Lainie was speechless. "Oh my God, Emily."
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