Ehann
Chapter 34
It was the day.
It was wedding day.
I mean, of course it's wedding day. Why wouldn't it be? Not like he didn't know it was wedding day. Of course he knew, was he nervous? Not at all, that would be quite silly, laughable. Haha.
Ha..
Hm.
----
He's been stuck at his chamber's mirror, readjusting his hair every five seconds, muttering things like "no that's not right" or "maybe like this-?" Then end up smacking his lips in defeat.
In a minute or two, a dozen people will come into his room and immediately start dressing him. As much as he hates it when others dress him, his mother tells him to have a change for once, so he's giving it a shot, for his mother.
He'd seen a glance of what he would wear, and to be quite frank... It's really eye catching. But then again, it could be for something else, like a test ..? Testing to see if it's suitable for him or not. Hopefully that's what it is.
In his simple, kind hearted opinion, that attire would bring great shame not only on him but to the whole kingdom.
That wasn't really his main concern at the moment though.
He.. just.
He can't get married, he just can't. Even though he is in a few hours. He just can't.. wed with the princess. He loves her truly, but.. it's not the person he'd imagine getting married with.
He's incredibly selfish for choosing someone else, of course he is. But it wasn't right. And the worst part is that he can't tell anyone about his problems. what would they think of him if he decided to tell?
That he's.. a fag? That he's mentally ill?
Selfish? An idiot? A disgrace to the kingdom? He doesn't want that, not for him not for anyone. Not for Aelius.
He's tried moving on, but he can't. They gave him 4 months to move on and yet the guy hasn't left his mind ever since for marbles sake! Infact, it made him love Aelius even more than before. He wasn't allowed to speak or even look at the princess during these hours, it would be bad luck to do so.
So they were held in their own rooms until the time being. The sun hadn't even started to rise when they were already knocking at his door waking him up, he should have guessed it would have been like this anyway.
"You're Majesty?" A person called from outside his doors.
"Yes?" He asked.
"Are you ready, your Majesty?" The prince took a long sigh, and looked out the window hazily. "Come in" he shouted.
A dozen of servants and maids came in bustling through his doors, almost shocking him on the amount of people in his room in just seconds. He felt a tight squeeze in his waist, making him stumble forwards. A maid was measuring his waist ? She tugged him again this time making him stagger backwards.
"Hold still okay-?" The maid told him sternly. "..A- alright." He said defeatedly.
He doesn't remember the rest of it, they changed him so fast he didn't have the time to process what they did. Really they could have poisoned him and he'd be clueless about it, they gave him a cup of tea as they changed him. Really the possibilities are endless to what they could have done.
His room was empty, yet somehow even cleaner than before they entered his room. He found it fascinating how much they can multitask like that. They almost made him self-aware of his own possibly horrible skills. He glanced at himself through the mirror, and gasped lightly.
They left him just.. he doesn't even know how to explain it, he's left without words. It was a navy blue suit with gold scattered all around his shoulders, you would think it's like all the other ones.. but this one was different, he just didn't know how to explain it. They even re-arranged his hair, but he won't complain.
He was mesmerized by his own self, that doesn't happen every day. But was he allowed to walk outside his chamber? He peeked through one of his doors inspecting the hallway. There were two guards on his doors, they seemed awfully stiff though.
He carefully, poked the guard to his left, and he didn't move a single bit. Then he poked the guard to his right, the same thing as the other one. Are they asleep? He lightly laughed at the two of them and left his room, quickly turning the corner into another hallway.
He looked behind himself, checking for anyone who could be possibly behind him, then looked back, only to stumble in front of a person, standing in front of him. Hesitantly, he glanced up, only to release the breath he didn't know he was holding. "Brother!" He whispered.
Timothy was staring down at him questioningly, he looked at him up and down, and slightly nodded in approval. "Brother." He spoke sternly.
"Aah.. yes, Timothy?"
"You, look, fascinating!" He squealed the last part out on a low tone. Then he looked around and looked at the empty room next to them. "Come" he pointed at the empty room.
"How do you feel?" He asked him.
"Well, i feel... Fine" he answered.
Timothy looked at him confusingly, placing his hands behind his back, and looking at the window in front of them, then looked back at the prince after a long pause dumbfounded. "..Fine- ?"
He repeated him. Ehann sighed and looked down at the floor, closing his eyes, he felt his eyes start to water at him repeating his answer.
He did in fact, not feel fine. He felt horrible about himself, ..yet 'horrible' doesn't even cover it. He didn't really know what to feel, whether he should be happy, depressed, the list goes on. He was a whole mix in a pot.
"You're.. getting married Ehann, surely you're feeling something other than 'fine'.." Timothy laughed a bit, but cleared his throat at the silence from the other.
"Are you.. okay?" He asked him.
"Of course I am, why wouldn't i be?" Ehann chuckled at the question
Timothy only looked at him with worried eyes at his response, he frowned a bit then looked away from him, and at the entrance of the door.
Quickly he closed the door shut and locked it, not wanting to have anyone overhear and gossip about anything that could be spilled out, and god forbid before a wedding.
"I'm your brother Ehann, you can tell me anything." He muttered sincerely.
He walked back towards his place and met eye to eye with him again, only this time it was him to look away.
..Should he tell him? But.. what would he think of it? Would he hate him? Would he judge him or tattle on him?
He looked out the window nervously looking at the white sky and carriages arriving at the castle. Everything would be perfect if it wasn't for his stupid feelings for someone who probably already moved on.
He glimpsed hesitantly at Timothy only to get stuck looking at his worried eyes, he kept fiddling with his thumbs at an even pace like if he were drawing circles.
He furrowed his brows and looked away.
"I'm.." he gushed.
"I'm into guys." quickly he closed his eyes the moment he finished his sentence.
He couldn't bear to look at him straight in the eye and see his face, he tried steadying his breath in hopes that he wouldn't faint as he continued talking. "But I'm also into girls."
"I l-love both genders." He stuttered out.
Timothy stayed silent, and to be honest, he wished he would talk; or at least say something to know he's still there. Even if he doesn't want him to talk at the same time.
"Ehann." He whispered.
He felt a warm hand lightly touch his shoulder that made him open his eyes and stare directly at his eyes, he was smiling sadly at him, a genuine expression that plastered on his face.
"I'm grateful.. that you trusted me enough to tell me this, brother."
Ehann tilted his head instinctively at his answer, he felt a cold tear roll down his face and drop into his suit.
"You don't.. think of me differently-?" he asked hesitantly, looking for a spec of any disgust.
"No- why would I?- I-." He stammered.
Instantly he took Ehann into a hug and sighed deeply in thought. "You, my brother, are the best brother i could ever have. Truly i don't deserve you at all... so why would you think I'd think of you any different based on your interests?" He asked.
Ehann couldn't speak at all, he started to bawl his eyes out into Timothy's shoulder; embracing his hug and covering his face in his neck.
Timothy only drew imaginary circles into his back, rocking them from side to side trying to comfort him to the best he could.
"I love you brother." Timothy spoke calmly.
"I love you too."
----
"So how did you find out?" A grin forming into his lips.
"...Uhh-.."
"You don't have to tell me but.. i just really want to know."
"Well, do you remember when i first came to the towns with you and we walked through that stupidly long line of people just staring and judging us?" He laughed a bit.
"What about it?"
"That's where I met, Aelius."
"Aelius?" Tim repeated.
"Yes" Ehann frowned then looked away.
"Aelius was the one that helped me out the forest and into the town."
"He even... kind-of-not-but-technically broke into the castle and somehow into my room and i found him and we laughed and he asked me out in the silliest way." He whispered out quickly, tapping on his hand agitatedly.
Timothy only gave him a questioning look in return then sighed and shook his head. "Go on."
"And when i went out with Agatha to announce.. god knows whatever it was.. we.. hugged-?" He smiled awkwardly.
"Anyway.. eventually we became.. uh-.. official? i guess.. and uh. We dated for a year and a half."
"A year??? And a half?" Timothy gasped in shock. "A year brother?"
"This whole time you've been dating this.. Aelius guy.. i-."
"How have you managed to keep it a secret this whole time??"
"He.. kind of, taught me how..? Haha."
"He truly changed me by a long shot." He laughed but looked at the floor with droopy eyes.
It wouldn't ever get better than him, not in a million years would it even be close to better.
"But now i can't even see him.. because I'm getting married in.. 8 hours." His smile dropped at the end of his sentence.
It stayed quiet between them for a while, you could hear the walking and the pattering of all the people outside the room busy getting everything ready for the wedding. The murmuring of the maids and the content sighs of the butlers.
But eventually it died down, and you couldn't hear a thing. He didn't know when he zoned out and started thinking of the memories he spent with Aelius, the way they would sneak around the castle at midnight when it was more calmed and no one was around.
The way they would goof around in the forest regardless if they were hot or cold while doing so. The way they would smile through their kisses and laugh when they played around with their hands.
The way- "Ehann." Timothy called.
"Oh, yes brother?" He asked.
"Do you.. love him?"
"Love him-?" He giggled.
"I would give my title as prince just to see him again and tell him what i couldn't tell him when i broke it off."
"If i could i would run away with him and live the life of a commoner, but it wouldn't really matter because we'd be happy alongside each other."
"I would cherish him like my life depended on it and give him little kisses all around his face even though it was silly."
"I want to properly meet his family and present myself as his boyfriend, and then slightly mess it up because i was nervous."
"I want to just walk up to him and kiss him In front of everyone and show them all that they can't control my decisions on what i decide for myself even with their judging." He giggled.
"But it wouldn't matter to us because we were in love." He looked up and smiled sadly at the window.
"Of course i love him."
"But that doesn't matter now.. does it, brother?"
"I-.." Timothy whispered. "To think you've been feeling like this.. "
"Eventually I'll forget him.. and eventually everything will fall into place. " Ehann sighed, wiping his new tears off his face and standing up from the chair.
"I'll.. go ahead and explore the venue, get my mind off of things. Goodbye for now brother."
He didn't hear anything in return from Timothy, he actually left the room because it was starting to feel quite overwhelming with all the confessing.
He might have spilled a bit too much into his brother's ears to hear. But in there he could really feel like he could trust him with all his feelings and thoughts.
It was very comforting, but very overwhelming at the same time. It's like you're slowly being eaten alive, not a good feeling to add on into already so much pressure.
He didn't know where he was going once again. Just wandering about looking for any kind of good distraction.
The jewelry was quite heavy on him but he looked like the sun had splattered pecs of gold into him that made him shine brighter than the sun himself, so he won't mind.
He tried staying out of sight from all those who passed by him to attempt to enter the venue, just to have an image of how it'll look.
Will it have the specific winter theme he and Agatha chose ? The curiosity almost ate him completely. He needed a distraction from everything at the moment, so what would be a better way other than food?
Nothing could go wrong with stealing a bit of trays for his selfish needs once in a while. He could tell they wanted him to stay on an empty stomach due to how astonishingly hard they made it to find the food.
It's not like some robber will steal the food just so that they can eat it by themselves... Other than him.
The first kitchen was completely empty, as in; abandoned empty. Maybe the chefs there had already finished their meals? But where did they go? Unless someone else got ahead of him and ate everything even the pans and pots.
Quickly he left the kitchen and tried his best to avoid being caught outside his chamber, and to top it off, looking for food.
Somehow he managed to find it, apparently it was a whole dining sized room with just rows and rows of food. If anyone were to be obsessed with food they'd think this room was heaven on earth.
It was like a buffet, you could say. He chose and quickly ate whatever he liked on the trays.
He was an emotional rollercoaster today, doesn't know whether to feel over the moon delighted, or under the ocean depressed. One minute he was giggling at sleeping guards only when he was alone, then the other he was gobbling up some dessert he found along the way.
But before he could even take another spoonful of whatever yogurt he was eating, the doors to the room slammed open and shut. Exposing a person in white on the other side with a shocked gasp escaping their lips.
Where would he hide? Under a table? No it would only cause noise which he didn't want. Disguise himself as a turkey leg? Tempting, but not enough time. Maybe in the opened door to his left?
Quickly he sprinted into the room and closed the door slightly shut, not wanting to lock himself inside.
The person started ooing and aaing at everything they came across, you could hear them rummaging through the utensils and finally choosing a good one.
He didn't know who it was until he heard a familiar voice say "delicious."
".. Agatha??" He shouted hesitantly at the person outside.
"Ehann?"
The prince exhaled deeply and leaned into the wall behind him, "thank the lords it's you" he laughed.
"What are you even doing there, prince?" She asked him, a hint of amusement plastered in her tone.
"I.. am.. inspecting!"
A scoff was then heard from Agatha and a pitter patter of steps coming closer to him. "Were you also looking for food then?"
"Alright, i was, but it is perfectly understandable." He defended himself weakly, massaging the sides of his head stressfully.
"Well if it makes you feel any better, i was also looking for food but i managed to encounter you.. i guess i won't mind eating a bigger plate than intended." She whispered the last part out but enough for the prince to hear.
He started to play around with his fingers unable to respond to her words, he felt his face start to slightly heat up at her comment the more he repeated it in his head.
"..Are.. are you nervous-?"
"Well.. i am, by a lot. But since it's with you.. it'll be fine" he could see her little smile from the tone of her voice.
"Why-? What's bothering you?"
"Just.. it's nothing don't worry love." He lied plainly.
"I wish I could kiss you right now but it's said that it's bad luck to look at each other before the wedding." She giggled out.
The prince only giggled back in return, "Don't want that now do we?"
"I'll, leave you to your inspecting then, prince."
"Goodbye!" She laughed before you could hear the pitter patter leave slowly.
The room was starting to grow on him, it was actually quite comfortable, quite spacious. Staying inside the room for a few minutes wouldn't be so bad after all.
But soon he had to go back to his chamber and act as if he didn't leave at all. Only 4 hours left, and the castle has gotten chilly.
There were random gushes of cold wind flowing through him from the opened windows in the halls, because of that he constantly kept hugging himself trying to keep any warmth left in him.
The guards were still sleeping surprisingly, they looked half frozen standing there with their heads hung low.
They were really heavy sleepers if anything, surprising how they still have the job in the castle. Ehann stood there amused by the two of them, resting his head on his hand and sighing.
"I'm on my way to see my son, how can that not be important!?" A familiar voice scoffed.
Quickly he looked for the person and stumbled his way into his room, he ran to his mirror and hurriedly adjusted his hair.
"My son?" The Queen knocked on his cracked open door. "May i see you?"
"Of course mother, i don't see why not?"
The Queen lightly pushed the door open and walked in with her eyes closed.
"Why do you close your eyes?" He questioned and laughed.
"Because i-if i open them i fear I'll start crying." She tried to speak, but a stutter was let out instead.
Ehann looked at her dearly and calmly walked towards her, holding her hands in his and kissing one gently. "Can you open your eyes, mother?" He whispered.
And she did as he said, an "oh" slipped through her lips and she weakly smiled at him.
"My little boy has grown up, and now he's getting married." A tear fell down her cheek, and instantly he went to wipe it away.
"You're even my height now." She laughed and looked away. "I'm the proudest mother in this country."
Then she looked back and stared at him up and down quizzically. "Your suit needs a bit of fixing though..."
The prince let out a laugh at his mothers claim then looked at his attire in the mirror, "what needs fixing? I'll let you fix whatever it is mum."
"Well for starters, your shoulder part is crooked, and don't let me get started on those shoes." She muttered, massaging her forehead from the stress she was getting.
"But lastly, your face." She continued.
Ehann looked at himself in the mirror once more and inspected his face, not seeing what his mother went on about. "What's wrong with my face?"
"You're not happy, are you my son?"
".. W-what do you mean?" He laughed. "Of course I'm happy! It's my wedding, isn't it?"
His mother started to tear up staring at him and tilted her head to better look at his face.
"I'm sorry my baby." She cried.
"You don't have anything to be sorry about though, please don't cry." He said, wiping her tears off her face.
"You're not happy with her, are you?" She asked sincerely.
"Of course i a-"
"No but you're not. I can tell, I'm your mother dear." She interrupted him.
"I'm sorry." She said again.
The prince didn't say anything in return, but smiled at her genuinely. He didn't know what to tell her to cheer her up, his mothers lips quivered as she kept crying.
He squeezed her hands and pecked her cheek to attempt to cheer her up.
"Don't cry mother, it's my wedding day after all." He reassured her.
"Right, right. It's a good day today."
"You look amazing my baby, and one day.. you're going to be the king of this kingdom." She let out a laugh after her sentence.
"Gosh.. you're barely 19 and yet here we are."
The prince laughed with her and sighed deeply. "I am.. aren't i- ?"
His mother cupped his face in her hands and shook him lightly. It looked like she was about to hug him but changed her mind.
"I would hug you but.. you've got quite a lot of spicky things on you son." She giggled, staring at him in a concerning way.
"It's all right mother."
"I'll leave before i cry all over you."
They laughed in unison, his mother walked away from him and closed the doors to his chamber, and a loud bonk was heard from outside.
He guessed she woke up the guards from their slumber due to the rattling of metal. Their ears will be ringing for days.
A few minutes later the guards to his door knocked and shouted. "Your Majesty? You must head down to the wedding now."
The prince sighed and adjusted his posture, he walked out of the room and headed down the hallway his heart started to beat and he could physically hear it pound out of his chest.
What would the place even look like?
----
He stood in front of the doors to the wedding, it was in a large church not far from the castle. It was marble white and there were four guards guarding the place.
He was waiting till they opened the doors for him to enter, he felt he mentally was about to pass out. Was everyone actually there?
He felt himself start to tremble at the thought of his own very existence. What was he even doing being the prince of a whole country? How was he so lucky to have been prince? Was he even lucky? Is this even lucky?
A dozen of thoughts passed through his head in jambles, then the doors opened. And a million eyes were on him, he couldn't focus on anything more but the amount of attention he had on himself.
The music started to accelerate and it felt like the right time to start walking forward. He only looked down at the ground, a fake smile plastered on his face the whole time.
Until he reached the front of the church, when he looked up, the priest bowed his head at the sight of him. And he gave a reassuring smile back.
He stood up and faced the crowd, he might not have looked like it to the crowd but he was trembling inside. He felt delusional and out of his body. It felt like a dream if he could put it In words.
A million eyes and opinions staring at him like if he was a fragile jewel that was extremely rare to touch. He didn't like the feeling of it. He felt.. felt something.
Whatever it was.. he felt it. Where was Aelius? Was he here? Immediately he started glancing around the place. Was he looking at him? Then he spotted his family in the middle of the left row. But he was nowhere to be seen.
Of course.
It's not like he expected him to be there after all that they've been through. It's understandable. He didn't want to see him get married to someone else. He wouldn't either if he was in his position.
Haha.
And the music started to play again, and the doors to the place started to open again.
It was Agatha, and my.. did she look gorgeous. She was an angel that flew from the sky.
Unwillingly his lips parted lightly at the sight of her, she looked amazing, he was mesmerized by her. He was getting married with her, the most.. angel like girl in the world ?
Oh how.. he wished he could actually love her like she did. But even after these four months.. he only looked at her with the eyes of a brother. Nothing more..
He looked at her who looked at him with a beautiful smile planted on her face. Her parents were walking with her down the aisle until she reached where he was.
"Hi" he whispered with a smile.
"Hi."
He felt a sharp pain and guilt hit him like a train, he wasn't being true to her and her feelings.. if anything he was plainly lying to her face.
He couldn't do anything but smile genuinely at her, the priest started to speak words he couldn't hear.
All his attention was placed on the person in front of him and her beautiful almond colored eyes.
Then reality struck him once again when the priest shouted: "Does anyone wish to object to this wedding?"
He shakily glanced around the room.
A loud silence he hated so much crushed through the room, only making him anxious the more the silence stayed.
He glanced around the people who only had wide smiles on their faces. He glanced at the kings and queens sitting on the thrones at the top of the entrance of the wedding.
And quickly he looked back at his soon to be wife straight in the eye.
"Are you okay?" She whispered at him, a concerned look in her eye.
She squeezed his hand to catch his attention. "Of course." He whispered back.
The priest sighed and continued on with his speech. "Princess Agatha Lutherbale, Hei-"
The priest was cut off by a loud bang into the doors, the doors bust open and let in a cold chill into the room.
The prince sucked in a large amount of air at the sight of Aelius, standing in the entrance with his hands in the shape of fists. Did he slide his way into the wedding?
He made eye contact with him, but it didn't last long because he closed his eyes at the sight of him.
" I OBJECT."
Everyone gasped at his objection, all but the prince.
He might have just fallen in love with him all over again, he objected to his wedding. All to stay with him? Even after everything that's happened? He still loves him?
He wanted to run at him and kiss his soul out of him. But he was frozen in place. He couldn't move, he couldn't think, he was terribly shocked, scared, dumbfounded, and in love all at once.
He wanted to move so badly but he couldn't. He just couldn't physically do it.
Aelius took a step forward and opened his eyes, a scared look in his face. He felt his hand get squeezed lightly, that made him look back at the princess. She was crying looking at him, she glanced at Aelius.
And then angrily looked back at him. "If you truly love him, don't just stand here holding my hand and go for him." She whispered angrily, a pain clearly in her tone of voice.
"I.." he spoke and looked at Aelius once more.
Aelius's lips were quivering at the sight of him still standing with Agatha. And a tear started to roll down his face.
The guards were starting to march at him, and he couldn't think of anything more but to stop them from potentially killing him.
"STOP!" He shouted, and the guards froze in the spot.
He sucked in a long breath and started to walk towards him. Everyone was quiet, looking at both of them.
His heart was beating, he legs were about to give up, he felt like he was about to pass out from how scared he was.
He kept walking towards him, only facing him, only thinking of him, only looking at him.
Until he reached him, he looked up at him and tilted his head, holding both his hands in his unable to mutter a word.
"Why-"
"I'm sorry prince i should have never come here and interrupt your wedding and-" he started to mutter unbearable things he couldn't really hear.
And he started to cry seeing Aelius cry, he really came all the way here, he really loves him, he really would do anything for him.
He started to giggle unexplainably at the love of his life in front of him.
"Aelius." He spoke calmly, making Aelius immediately shut up his rambling only to look at him straight in the eye.
Ehann cupped his face and pulled him closer to him, he smiled at him tearly and sighed.
"Just.. kiss me.. you big idiot."
And exactly that he did, their lips swirled with one another at an even pace, he could feel his salty tears in his lips but he didn't really care much.
He was kissing the love of his life, and it felt like the one. He felt free. Finally free.
He placed his hands on his shoulder and his face, circling around his jaw line in a comforting way.
"I can't believe you really came for me." He spoke, with not a care in the world if anyone heard him anymore.
"I didn't think you'd walk down here to me" Aelius sighed in relief.
Ehann looked at him with loving eyes, he was the love of his life. He couldn't care who was looking at them anymore, because he was the love of his life.
God.
"I.. love you, my prince."
"I love you too, Aelius."
"I love you too."