Dear iBob,
I am so screwed. Surviving the mermaids was the easy part and now I have to go and lie to my parents, my brother and Logan about what happened - without mentioning âHe of Many Identitiesâ. To make doing that even easier (note the sarcasm) the crown I was going to use as the base of all my lies, was taken by that jerk so now I have to come up with a story as to why thatâs gone.
Iâm stalling.
I ran a bath after my shower, Logan came to check on me and so I faked being sick and made him go away. Mum came next, but I screamed at her because I was naked. Iâm not. Iâm dressed and contemplating jumping out of the bathroom window.
Why does everything always have to be so god damn hard? Whhhyyyyyy!!!!!
Oh shit, breakfast has arrived and Iâm starving. Oh god. Bacon. I can smell bacon!
Anyway, I need to focus and no one can see this hence why Iâm using you and not Bob Senior. Cain is up to something and yes, he is back to Cain because as far as Iâm concerned, HE is the cause of all my problems. Leo is just the new hipster biker bar tender and well, Darius is dead. Could I call him my enemy? He has saved my life, and then there was that little fiasco that just happened -- I just donât think he does anything out of the goodness of his heart.
Yup, Iâm screwed.
I need to go see Portia, real Portia and not Headmistress Huntington. Thing is, I donât know anything about Oracles and if she can see the future, can she see this? Does she know what Iâm thinking? Thatâs mind reading I guess, can she do that? Hmâ¦
Why does bacon have to smell so good. I canât not go out there now!
Fuck!
Elise Bunting.
(the girl who loves bacon)