Kareem wasn't sure how to feel. One minute, he was sitting there, just chillin', letting the night pass by like any other, and the next, Santi was kissing himâhis lips warm and insistent, like he'd been wanting this for a while.
He couldn't even remember the exact moment the kiss started. It was all a blur of heat, the way Santi's hands had slid up his chest, pulling him closer. Kareem could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his mind working overtime, trying to process everything. But it wasn't the kiss that threw him offâit was the feeling behind it.
Kareem wasn't used to this. Hell, he didn't even want to be used to this. He didn't kiss men. He didn't kiss anyone. He'd kept his distance for so long, built up walls so high that he almost forgot what it was like to let someone in. But here Santi was, breaking through all that shit, effortlessly.
He pulled back first, almost immediately after the kiss broke, his eyes wide like he had just stepped into a whole new world he didn't know how to navigate. His breath was ragged, his chest rising and falling, and his hands instinctively pulled back like he'd touched something hot.
The look on Santi's face was unreadable for a secondâjust a steady gaze, as if he wasn't sure if he'd crossed a line, but then his lips curved into a slight smirk.
"You good?" Santi's voice was casual, but Kareem could hear the question beneath it, the one that wasn't just about the kiss.
Kareem let out a shaky breath, not sure what to say. His hands fidgeted in his lap, his fingers tapping against his jeans as he tried to gather his thoughts. "I don't... I don't know what the fuck just happened," he muttered, his voice rough and unsure.
Santi didn't look offended. Instead, he just leaned back on the couch, the same easy smile on his face. "You don't gotta know, Kareem. I'm not trippin' off that."
Kareem wasn't sure if that made him feel better or worse. Santi wasn't making it a big deal, but the weight of what had just happened was still heavy on his chest. He didn't know how to let himself feel something like thisânot with a guy, not with someone who wasn't just someone passing through his life.
"You don't kiss just anyone, though," Kareem muttered, trying to brush it off, but it came out quieter than he wanted.
Santi looked at him, his expression softening, and for the first time that night, there was no teasing in his eyes. Just sincerity. "Nah, I don't. But I've kissed you, so that should tell you something."
Kareem let out a deep breath, running his hand over his face. "Man, you wild," he said, his voice low, but there was a slight chuckle underneath it, like he was trying to deflect the seriousness of the situation.
Santi shrugged, unbothered. "Yeah, maybe. But I'm just bein' real with you, Kareem."
The silence hung between them for a moment, but it wasn't awkwardâjust... tense. Kareem didn't know how to react. He wasn't used to being the one on the receiving end of someone's affections, especially not in this way.
"Why me, though?" Kareem asked, his voice quieter now, but there was something raw about it. He needed to know.
Santi shifted, his eyes soft as they met Kareem's. "Why not you?" he said simply. "You've got this... I dunno, energy about you. Something different. And it pulls me in. I can't help it."
Kareem couldn't deny the way Santi made him feel. There was something about the guyâhis easygoing nature, the way he was never too pushy, and how he made everything feel less complicated than it really was.
But that didn't change the fact that Kareem wasn't used to this shit. He wasn't used to letting someone in. He wasn't used to letting someone touch him the way Santi had, let alone kiss him. The thought of this being realâof whatever this wasâscared the shit out of him.
Santi, as if sensing his hesitation, shifted closer, but he didn't push. He just let his hand rest on Kareem's knee, a subtle touch that felt like it could be the start of something more.
"You're not gonna push me away, are you?" Santi asked, his voice steady but with that quiet vulnerability that made it clear he was testing the waters, too.
Kareem felt his chest tighten. He could easily pull away. He could stand up, walk out of here, and act like none of this ever happened. But for some reason, he didn't want to.
"Maybe," Kareem said, his tone wry, like he was trying to brush it off, but he couldn't deny the way his body stayed still, his hand resting against Santi's.
Santi didn't say anything more. He just leaned back into the couch, still close to Kareem but giving him the space to process it all.
It was like they both knew something had shifted between them, but neither of them knew exactly what it meant yet. And maybe, just maybe, that was okay.
They sat there in the silence, neither of them moving too much, just breathing in the same space. Kareem couldn't remember the last time he'd felt like thisâcaught between wanting to run and wanting to stay.
For now, though, he stayed. And maybe that was enough.