Chapter 112: A Surprisingly Nice Death God

Two young women stood on either side of an altar made of bone, a single spike of corrupted areonite driven through a block of iron in the center. They wore silk robes of crimson red, parted in the center, the hoods drawn low over their faces. One chanted under her breath while the other’s voice raised along with her arms, causing the robe to spill aside.

“Gintax, lord of blood, please accept this sacrifice, that you may spread your influence through this base metal, blessing it with with your power and converting it into Death Metal.”

The shorter girl took a box of live roaches off the floor and dumped them onto the altar. The sheer miasma of the corrupted areonite seemed to pool in the altar’s recesses, killing the roaches in a matter of seconds.

Their pale skin broke out in goosebumps as they felt Gintax’s attention fall upon them.

“Young Paradox, why not simply contact me yourself?” The two girls whispered as one, suddenly speaking in ancient Nocul, the dead language barely decipherable to Perry’s ears.

“I wasn’t sure the ritual would work, since I’m a magical insulator.” Perry said, approaching the altar.

Heather and Nat motioned to the altar.

“I always have time for a Zauberer.” They whispered in the dead language.

“Can you do it?” Perry asked. “Can you make more areonite?”

“My dear boy, the areonite you use is the product of millions of years of deaths piled on top of each other and compressed by time. Not unlike Earth’s oil fields. I can make more for you, but the cost in human life is something I do not believe you wish to pay.” The girls whispered.

“I was afraid of that.” Perry muttered. “Would you take roaches?”

“Of course. Blood is blood, and I am a reasonable deity. But not all blood is equal. You would need to pay me an impractical number of roaches to create a grain of areonite sand. A large lake’s worth, perhaps.”

“Hmm,” Perry frowned. That was impractical.

“How about this.” Natalie whispered, poking her chest. “You give me the spirit smith-“

“Absolutely not,” Perry interjected.

“And I guide her in the act of making a sacrificial blade dedicated to me. With such a weapon, you might be able to achieve the sort of currency required to barter with me simply by defending your home from those sea-creatures…Let me finish next time, young man.”

“We’re going to need to get real specific about the terms of that arrangement, before Nat gives you permission to ride shotgun.”

“That’s wise.” Natalie whispered.

“Hey you three, dinners ready~! I made calzones!” Mom said, sticking her head into Perry’s room. “Oh! Um…I’ll just wait outside.” She disappeared out of the doorway, fleeing down the hall.

“Mom! Knock!” Perry shouted.

“Remember!” Mom’s voice echoed from down the hall. “Practice safe ritual sex! And always make sure you get the deal with the outsider in writing!”

“Mom! That’s not what we’re – Agh!” Perry shook his head violently and stalked over to the door, closing and locking it. I could’ve sworn I locked it.

Perry glanced over at Nat, who was clutching the robe tight around herself, her face the same crimson as the silk. The sudden disruption had severed the tentative connection to Gintax.

“So, umm…what happened?” Natalie asked.

“Hey, my headache’s gone,” Heather said, massaging her temples as she glanced over at the clock. “We were out for a couple minutes. Did it work?”

She glanced at the areonite speared through the iron block, noting the lack of change.

“It sort of worked. Gintax possessed you and made an offer, but it didn’t seem like something we wanna pursue just yet.”

Earth’s supply of Areonite was rapidly dwindling, and Perry was desperate for a new source…but not quite that desperate yet.

“Possessed us?” Heather asked, her gaze smoldering.

“Not in the way you might think, it was just nudges. Full on possession would be more…spectacular. Like I said, a Spell-disc couldn’t have done it because a spell-disc can’t react. It’s not a person. I didn’t know Gintax wanted to talk, but I knew we would need some kind of flexibility.

“Speaking of flexibility,” Natalie whispered.

“Whoah!” Heather said, backing away from the re-possessed Natalie, whose eyes were white and unblinking. “Is she possessed?”

“Spirit smiths are a con-

“Conduit for spiritual energy. Regular soul-sponges,” Perry finished for Gintax. “Am I gonna have to get an exorcist?”

“I merely wished to inform you that the sacrificial blade will require two stone of areonite, and if you wish to trade service rather than blood for the metal, I have many tasks in need of doing with regards to my followers, the Nocul.”

“What language is that?” Heather asked. “Cuz it’s creepy as hell hearing it come outta her mouth.”

Perry grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen off his desk and handed it to Natalie.

“Give me the offer in writing,” Perry said.

“And be quick about it, Because Mrs. Z made calzones,” Heather said, crossing her arms.

“Yeah,” Perry said, crossing his arms as well.

“what’s a calzone?” Gintax, Lord of Blood asked through Natalie.

Perry glanced at Heather and shrugged.

***Later***

“I never thought anything could taste quite as good as the blood of the innocent, but this…” Natalie whispered in ancient Nocul as she stuffed her face. “It’s close. My complements to Claudette. She’s become quite the wonderful cook since I’ve last parlayed with her. This is fantastic.”

“Fantastic enough to trade for areonite?” Perry hedged.

“Nice try, young man, but the sad reality is, I’m a ghost of my former self. Disconnected as I am from our home and with a dwindling amount of followers, I am suffering a slow decline. I cannot reward this fantastic concoction with the obliteration of armies and ancient treasures that it deserves, simply because I lack the power to waste on frivolous excess.”

“In a thousand years, I may cease to exist altogether,” Gintax said, sliding his wishlist across the table.

Oddly enough, the ancient Nocul script was in Natalie’s handwriting.

Perry peered at the writing for a moment, his brain decoding the dead language.

“I’m not gonna ‘breed’ John’s daughters.” Perry said in Nocul, glancing up at Nat.

Gintax shrugged.

Perry went back to the list.

“I don’t know how you expect me to spread the worship of a god who encourages blood sacrifices…”

Mom’s note about the magically rejuvenating roach motels in her spellbook briefly flit across Perry’s mind.

“You just thought of something,” Gintax said, pointing at Perry with Natalie’s finger.

“Maybe I could do this one,” Perry admitted.

Would need a lot of bone. Not a whole lot of butcher shops, so I’d have to pay a lot for the ingredients, and each one takes an areonite investement…It’d be a negative areonite flow. The reward is far too low.

“I couldn’t do it without spending more areonite than you would give me for it, though,” Perry said, mentally crossing off that option before going down the list, his scowl deepening as he read through.

The tasks were all generally unpleasant, and the pay was terrible.

“These tasks all seem to favor you more than me.” Perry muttered.

“Well…Something tells me you’re desperate for more areonite, young man. It says sooner or later you will cave.”

“Oh really?” Perry asked, raising a brow and setting aside the list. “What makes you say that?” Perry could go on being a superhero without floating swords and mentally controlled magical computers…probably.

Gintax dabbed a bit of sauce off Nat’s lips before he pointed at Perry’s chest.

Even upside-down, Perry could read it.

Desperate for areonite.

Will cave sooner or later.

Betrayed by my own T-shirt. This is getting ridiculous.

“Alright, leave Nat’s body, we need to discuss things with her.”

“Very well.” Nat whispered a moment before her eyes cleared up and she blinked a couple times, taking in her place at the table, sitting across from dad, with a calzone dangling in her fingertips.

Natalie frowned for a moment, then took a bite of her calzone. “These are really good, Mrs. Z.”

“Thank you!” Mom said with a smile. “The secret ingredient is love.”

“The secret ingredient is elf-lung.” Perry said. “You picked a bunch of them this morning.” Elf-lung was a ‘shroom from the homeworld that had a texture and flavor profile that could trick people into liking mushrooms.

“The secret ingredient is an enchanted oven.” Dad said around the hot filling of a calzone.

Perry glanced over his shoulder at the oven in question that looked like a typical gas-operated oven. He shrugged.

“Mom, tell me what you think of this.” Perry asked, sliding the proposed terms of Gintax using Nat’s body to make a sacrificial blade across the table.

“What is that?” Nat asked.

“It’s an offer by Gintax, and if mom thinks it’s bogus, I wanna throw it away immediately.”

Mom frowned and held it from her face, squinting at the paper.

“Sorry, my Nocul is a little rusty,” She said before she began muttering the dark language under her breath, causing the lights in the house to dim and the silverware to rattle.

Heather’s brows rose and she lifted her plate off the writhing table.

“Yeah, it looks legit.” Mom said, passing it back to Perry. “The lord of blood is a pretty straight shooter, so it should be fine. You may wish to make arrangements with your grandmother to enforce the terms just in case. There’s always the possibility he’s gotten desperate since we moved to Earth.”

Mom glanced back at the paper and then back to Perry. “Are you really that low on areonite?”

“I got a few ounces of it. It’ll last me a couple months of heroing, then I’m done. Dave’s out and if there’s anyone else with some in Franklin, they’re not selling.” Perry said. “I was hoping to get a renewable supply.”

“A few ounces…” Mom muttered, stroking her chin. “Where did I…”

Mom passed the paper back to him and got up, searching through the bookshelf beside the dinner table that was filled with folders with newspaper clippings, humming to herself.

“So what’s the offer?” Nat asked.

Oh right, I haven’t told them yet.

“Gintax offered to teach you how to make a sacrificial weapon dedicated to him, so we could harvest power in his name more efficiently, and he could then reward us with power. In a nutshell.”

“Seems sus.” Heather muttered.

“Well, yeah, but we don’t have to kill people with it. Prawns and other mutated wildlife work too,” Perry said with a shrug. “I’m only concerned about the part where Gintax gets to ride shotgun with Nat for a while. It would be a lot more intense than a simple fugue state and suggestions.”

The reason Gintax was only able to whisper and move slowly with Natalie’s body just now was that he’d been imparting gentle nudges from a massive spiritual distance on a person in a meditative state. If he arrived with the full force of his power, Nat could experience damage if she wasn’t careful.

“So of course, the question here is, does Nat want to risk it?” Perry asked, glancing at Nat.

“Right now?” Natalie asked. “No I do not. I want to learn a lot more about being a spirit smith before tackling a literal god.”

Perry felt a brief prickle of disappointment, but he shoved it down and nodded. Experience would prove to be a valuable defense against unwanted possession, and if Nat understood the techniques Gintax used, she might be able to retain them and incorporate them into her own creations.

It was absolutely the right call.

“Well, he did give himself a thousand years,” Perry said. “We can always come back to this.”

Natalie nodded, and Perry folded the god’s offer and walked it back to the fire-safe in his room. He was starting to need space to store important documents. Made him feel like a grown-up.

“AHAH!” Perry heard mom’s voice as he walked back to the dining room.

“Feast your eyes!” Mom said, using an illusion to blow up the size of the newspaper clipping, showing a grainy photo of mom (looking exactly the same) with a team of spandex-wearing folk from the nineties, posing in a museum.

“How old are you, mom? You mentioned seeing Manita before the escape, so that would mean-“

“Shhhhhhh,” Mom shushed him.

“Didn’t Mastodon retire like, twenty years ago?” Heather asked, pointing at the hairy guy hulking on one side.

“He was already old when he started fighting crime,” Mom said, waving dismissively, her cheeks flushed. “Anyway, that’s not important. Check that out,” She said, pointing to one of the glass cases off to the side of the super team.

It held what appeared to be a decorative suit of armor.

“That armor was worn by the king of the Nocul, John the second, in the battle against Elliot Zauberer. Mom sold it to the field museum in Chicago shortly after we arrived.”

Another reason for the Nocul to hate us, Perry thought sourly, before he processed what had been said.

“Chicago?” Perry asked with a frown. Chicago was one of the last cities to fall to the Replicator threat. Inland America was rich with resources that the replicators made good use of to push humans to the coast.

Salty ocean air didn’t play well with replicator’s physiology in long-term engagements, but with the Prawns constantly draining human’s resources, humanity was unable to gather the strength to push back inland.

The whole situation was less-than-ideal.

“This armor, are the decorations made of areonite or something?” Perry asked, peering at the grainy photo.

“The wholething is made of areonite,” Mom said. Perry’s eyes widened.

That would last him…years.

Perry pulled up a map and measured the distance.

If he flew high and fast, he could make it there in a couple hours, and back in the same amount of time. No need to wait for a slow-ass train. He could make a field-trip of it.

Part of him wanted to go immediately, but Perry knew he should prepare as if this was a huge risk to his life.

Because it would be. The wilds outside the walls got dangerous. Fast. Perry couldn’t help but think about the brain-worms and tears in reality the train conductor warned of.

I’ve got two months of Areonite left. I should try to get to level ten before I go. Perry thought, tapping his fingers on the table. Replicators were much more dangerous than prawns, from their sheer intelligence, speed and coordination.

How close to leveling am I now?

Paradox Zauberer (Perry Z.)

Class: Garage Tinker

Level 6

HP: 7

Body: 6

Stability: 13

Nerve: 9

Attunement: 29

Free Points: 0

Spells: light (1/5)

XP to next level: 437

The ball and the fight with Chemestro had netted him over three thousand XP. Perry was only 17 days of full body workouts, or a couple good takedowns away from level seven.

Did beating Chemestro at capturing the goth chick really diminish his future options that much?

***Chemestro***

Father is going to replace me. Chemestro’s thoughts were whirling in his mind as he did one-handed push-ups. In response to Chemestro’s loss the night before, a new super named ‘Warp’ had debuted.

It was 812. Chemestro didn’t need to guess who was behind the useless domino mask. There was only one reason 812 would begin working as a cape. Because Father was switching his backing to another of his experiments.

Best case scenario, Chemestro would be cut loose, directionless in Franklin city, with no one to rely on but himself, and no goals to speak of.

Father didn’t like to leave loose ends, though, and Chemestro feared ‘disposal’. His whirling thoughts of imminent death made it difficult to focus on his therapist’s words. Chemestro pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind and refocused on Lu’ann.

“So, tell me about this girl that joined your team.” Lu’ann said.

“Who, Sin-Eater?” Chemestro asked. “She’s harmless. Got assigned to me on a work release from Nexus. Insisted on being put under my command, actually.”

“Really?” Lu’ann asked, brows raising, “How does she act?”

“She smiles and laughs a lot, and stands uncomfortably close to me, and tries to touch me when I’m not paying attention. Honestly if it weren’t for our practice, I probably would’ve knocked her teeth out already.”

Chemestro frowned as he mentally reviewed Sin-eater’s behavior. It was like she wanted something from him, and was being nice to get it.

“What do you think she wants?” Chemestro asked, glancing up at the frizzy-haired woman.

Lu’ann sighed and rubbed her temples.

“I’m not going to ruin the surprise.”