I was shocked by his words. Something must have happened for him to say that. And I wasn't leaving without finding out.
He may or may not push me away completely, but I had to keep trying. I just couldn't bring myself to just keep away from him. Joong needed to be protected, too, and he deserved it as much as anyone.
I went up to his apartment. Oddly, his door was opened and ajar. I went in, only to see him on the phone trying to book some flight tickets. He was pacing up and down as he was speaking to some airline.
I saw clothes strewn all over and the luggage wide open. He must have been packing midway. I walked in, and he was stunned seeing me. But being on the phone, he clearly did not want to end the call. He glared at me, but I just continued walking in.
I started picking up his clothes off the floor and packed it in his luggage for him. He was just watching me clearly shocked. I packed his luggage and zipped it up.
Joong must have gotten the tickets he needed as he finally hung up the phone.
He looked at me.
"What are you doing here?"
"Helping you pack. You are clearly going somewhere. And it's a mess. But you look like you could do with some help."
Joong looked at me in pain.
"Why are you even this nice to me? I scolded you earlier, Pond. I told you to stay from me or I will cut you off. Don't you worry, I will do that?"
"Just as much I can't stop you from doing that, I can't stop myself from worrying about you. I don't know why you are doing this or what happened. And you don't have to tell me, but you need to just know I am here for you."
Joong just looked at me and then turned away, sobbing. I went towards him, wrapping him firmly in my hold from the back. He leaned and then turned, just leaning in my hold. Over his tears and choked up voice, he filled me in on his mom and sister.
My grip on him tightened even more as I heard what happened. My heart absolutely went out to him. "Joong.."
Joong just cried harder, holding onto me. I held onto him, not letting go.
"I..I don't know what I am going to do. I am going mad when I think about it. I don't know how I am going to sit through that fucking plane journey not knowing how my mom and sister will be. It's driving me crazy Pond. Driving me......crazy." he hiccuped as he spoke.
"What time is the flight?"
"3am. That's the earliest I could get."
"Okays. Your stepdad? Is he going with you?'
"He's.. he just about should be reaching there now."
I nodded. I held onto him.
"Okays. It's fine. We got this. Do they have any more tickets for the flight you are taking?"
Joong looked at me absolutely confused.
"Why?"
"Did you really think I was going to let you fly alone? I will fly with you there. I'm not letting you go alone."
"You..you don't have to. You have work. There's practice. There.. your family. You can't just.."
"Look at me Joong. I am not letting you fly alone. End of this back and forth. I wil sort out the logistics and the planning. The flight is at 3am but it's already 10pm. You need to lie down even if you cannot sleep. Sit here with me, just rest for a bit. I told you I wouldn't leave you alone. Phuwin said you are always the protector and not being the one protected. But that's.. that's rubbish. I know how much you yearn to be protected. Let me be the one to do it for you, Joong. Even if you push me away, I will keep coming back to you."
Joong looked at me but didn't say a word, just nodding quietly, all fight extinguished out of him. I made him sit on the couch and he leaned on me while I called my manager, explained to her on what was happening and asked for a few days off. I had no immediate filming commitments so it was fine but I still needed to let her know.
I texted Aou and Santa who were so worried for Joong but told me to take the time and not to leave him alone. Finally, I called the airline and was put on standby for that flight but I really could not take the risk. I tried looking for another flight and found one that leaves at 3.30am.
I asked if they had 2 tickets. The airline did so I secured 2 tickets for that flight instead and told Joong to cancel the other booking.
"I want to fly with you. I don't want to leave you alone. So I rather we leave slightly later but go together. OK?"
Joong nodded.
"I don't know what to say to assure you but just know I will be there for you. Good or bad. Let's just take it 1 step at a time ok?"
He nodded. Joong was being awfully quiet. I was a little worried but I just held onto him. I definitely needed clothes but didn't want to leave him alone too.
I texted Phuwin and told him briefly on what happened. Bless that soul, he appeared at Joong's doorstep 40 minutes later, with a luggage packed for me.
Joong was sleeping on my shoulders so Phuwin just caressed his hair softly before telling me to take care and then he left. I nodded. I looked at Joong who looked wiped out.
Around 1am, I woke him up saying we had to make our way to the airport. Thankfully Joong's manager came down to pick us up and send us to the airport.
Joong hugged her tightly and promised to be back soon. She nodded, her eyes teary. She looked at me and just told me to look after him.
I nodded. I held onto Joong's hand as we boarded the flight. We sat down, settling ourselves down for the long ass journey ahead.
To all, it could merely be a long flight. But I knew for Joong, it was more than just a flight. For him, the arrival of the flight also meant news of his mom and sister.
And all we could pray for was good news when we landed on the other side.