Chapter 41: 42: Fight or Flight

ARIEL

My body is completely out of my control.

I howl at the top of my lungs.

~What’s the matter with me?~

I have learned to calm myself when something sets me off.

But the voices…the screams…

I howl again and claw at my chest to try to keep my torment contained.

~Selene…~

~Where are you?~

~Help me.~

~Protect me from myself.~

It’s not working.

And I can’t hear the soft, soothing voice of the Goddess.

~Where is she?~

There’s another scream on the recording.

I thrash my claws toward nothing in particular, howling in pain when my hand makes contact with a metal support beam.

“Goddess, Ariel!” Xavier lunges at the computer and shuts it off.

“Are you okay?” he asks, trying to steady me.

I howl again.

“He’s not here. It’s just a recording. You’re safe.”

I can logically agree that he’s right.

Nobody is threatening my safety in this current moment.

But still, all of my fight or flight instincts are firing. My adrenal glands are flooding, and my wolf is in full panic.

I tighten every muscle in my body to try and shift back to my human form, but that only succeeds in making me lightheaded.

I drop to the floor, rolling around, writhing as my brain tries to fight my body and loses.

~I need help.~

~I need the Moon Goddess.~

~I need Alex.~

But he’s not here.

Xavier is, though.

I can hear him calling my name.

And now, I can feel him touching me, keeling over my writhing body. Pressing his hands onto my shoulders. Rubbing them gently.

“It’s okay,” he says. “It’s all going to be okay.”

The more he touches me, the more the knot in my stomach begins to loosen.

I can feel a warmth glowing in my core. The light at the end of the dark tunnel.

I manage to catch my breath.

Slowly but surely, Xavier’s voice becomes louder than the voice of my panicked wolf ringing through my head. He tightens his grip on my shoulders as I finally shift back into my human form.

I take a deep breath and open my eyes. They find his. He’s practically on top of me.

He puts his hand on my cheek.

The spark I feel as his skin makes contact with mine is a little ~too~ intense.

I’m naked.

I avert my gaze, embarrassed.

But I can still feel his eyes fixated on me.

My cheeks redden.

“Thank you,” I say under my breath.

“I had no idea…” his voice drifts off.

“What?”

“I had no idea the kind of torture you went through when you were taken. And how badly it must have hurt when I banished you from the pack after you returned.”

I nod. There’s nothing left to say.

“I’m so sorry, Ariel,” he says, brushing my cheek again. “Sorry is not enough. I was your Alpha. I failed you.”

I push myself out from underneath him and rise to my feet.

“Well,” I say, clearing my throat, “it’s all in the past now.”

I pull my ripped jacket over my body.

“Is it?” he asks me with a subtle but very cheeky smile.

“Yep,” I say, cutting the conversation off abruptly and turning to go get my change of clothes from my bike.

~Of course it is!~

~At least…I thought it was.~

ALEX

I pick at the plate of food in front of me.

None of it is appetizing…

I can’t eat knowing that Ariel is in danger.

And that the only person by her side is her ex-destined mate.

It’s more than I can handle…my imagination is running away with itself.

I push the plate away, as disgusting images of Xavier and Ariel flood my mind.

Helena, who is happily plowing through a full plate of food at the other end of the table next to Dom, looks up at me.

“What’s the matter?” she asks me.

“Nothing,” I lie.

“Come on,” she prods me, “Something must be wrong since you’re not licking your plate clean. Talk to me.”

“Alright,” I concede. “I have a question.”

“Shoot,” she says, resting her hands on her belly.

“You’re a woman…”

“Is that the question?”

“Do women consider rescuing a kidnapped baby from a ferocious hunter to be an implicitly ~romantic~ situation?”

“Yeah of course. Every little girl’s fantasy.”

“Really?”

With a glare, her burning sarcasm scorches me.

“Oh,” I say, sheepishly.

Helena’s face breaks into her familiar, kind smile. “You have nothing to worry about, Alex.”

“Yeah,” Dom adds, “Ariel and Xavier tolerate each other, at best.”

“But what if that changes?”

“I hope, for both their sakes, that it does,” says Helena. “They’re family, after all.”

That’s true. Xavier has proven to be an asshole on more than one occasion, but I doubt he would do something to jeopardize his relationship with Natalia, especially during such trying times.

And while Ariel is away with ~family,~ I can try to focus my wandering mind on my own.

“You’re right,” I say to Helena. “Thank you.” I get up from my chair.

“Wait—Alex?” she calls after me. “Can I eat that?” she asks, pointing at my plate.

I flash her a thumbs up and chuckle as she pulls my plate in front of her.

Eating for two, indeed.

I rush up the stairs toward my parents' quarters. The hospital discharged my father yesterday, in the hopes that he’ll be more comfortable in the palace. I’m glad they did. He was getting cabin fever cooped up in that shoebox room.

When I knock and enter, he’s laying up in bed reading a book. I peek at the cover.

It’s an encyclopedia of medicinal plants and their medicinal uses.

This makes my heart sink.

My father has always been a skeptic about holistic treatments, so to see him exploring these methods must mean that his life is really hanging in the balance.

He sets the book down when I approach, and a huge smile creeps over his face. “My boy…how are you doing?” he asks me.

I heave myself down onto a chair next to him.

“You don’t look so good,” he says.

Normally, I would just tell him that everything is fine and bottle it up inside.

But now that my father’s time is running out, I regret every time I’ve evaded his questions and withheld the truth.

“I’m worried about Ariel,” I say.

“She’s out there investigating the hunters, huh?”

I nod.

“Ariel is a warrior,” my father says. “She can more than take care of herself.”

“Of course she can. I don’t doubt that for a second. She’s the most incredible fighter.”

“So then what’s the problem?”

“Well…” I begin, “I asked Ariel to make it official. To be my Luna...and she said no.”

“Really?” my father asks, more inquisitive than shocked like I had expected him to be.

“Actually,” I add, “she said that she’s not ready yet. But I don’t know how long it will take until she is.”

“Think of what you’re asking her, Alex,” my father says. “Becoming your mate means becoming the Luna of the Royal Pack. The Queen of the Werewolves...

“That’s no small undertaking for anyone, much less someone who’s been through as much as she has.”

“I know,” I say, feeling my cheeks start to flush with heat. “You’re going to have to try and stick around for a while then. Because I want my father to see me mated, and I don’t know when that will be.”

He reaches weakly for my hand, and I grab his.

“I would love that too. Of course,” he says, “but all I really want to see is my son happy. After Olivia died…I didn’t know if you ever would be again. What you have with Ariel is special. Please don’t rush it on account of me…or your mother, for that matter.”

“But—”

“Promise?” he asks me with a soft smile.

I nod, because what else can I do? “I promise.”

“She’ll make a great queen,” he says, leaning back on his pillow and closing his eyes. “When the day comes…”

***

When I leave his room sometime later, I feel significantly lighter than when I’d walked in.

His blessing has given me a sense of inner peace.

I smile to myself, thinking of what I’m going to do with Ariel when she returns. Just then, I run into Dom and Angel walking together in the hall.

“Where’s Helena?”

“Resting,” Dom replies.

I nod. “Hey… Let’s go have a drink.”

“It’s the middle of the day. Shouldn’t we be working?” Dom asks me.

“We should be,” I wink.

“You’re the best Alpha ever,” Dom says. “Let’s go.”

We head in the direction of the front entrance. Angel lags behind.

“You coming?” I ask him.

“I don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re coming,” I say, patting him on the shoulder.

ARIEL

It’s afternoon when Xavier and I arrive back at the Royal Pack.

We hitched my bike to the back of his car and have ridden together but spent most of the journey in silence.

I was still too embarrassed about my little outburst to make small talk.

The whole ride, Xavier has been shooting me glances, trying to catch my eye.

I’ve just looked out the window, keeping my gaze focused on the sprawling landscape ahead of us.

As we arrive back, Xavier insists on dropping me off at Steve and Louisa’s house.

I tell him repeatedly that I’m more than happy to walk alone, but he keeps in step with me all the way to the front porch of the house.

“It’s been a long couple of days,” he says. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine,” I say.

~And even if I’m not, it’s not your problem,~ I don’t say.

With my hand already positioned on the doorknob, I turn to him.

“Goodbye,” I say. “I’m sorry we didn’t find anything. And I’m sorry about…yeah…”

“Ariel,” he says.

“What?”

And then I feel it. Xavier grabbing my free hand.

Pulling me toward him.

And before I even realize what’s happening…

Xavier is kissing me.