*Eight*

It was now the second time in three months, that I had woken up in the Windell household unintentionally once again.

My first thought when I woke up was; shit

As the sun was out and a few rays had gotten into my face, which meant that the sun was bright and beating, and I was late for school

Great

But then I remembered that yesterday was Friday, - so I rested my head again on the soft pillow, weekend reassured, I could get more sleep, until an unfamiliar smell hit my nose, and I shot up out of bed, as fast as it had taken me to close my eyes again, the bed I now arose from, which wasn't mine to begin with, I had a splitting headache, so I decided better than to stand up - instead I threw my head back down on the pillow

''Jesus Christ'' I massaged my head with my thumb and index finger.

I felt the bed move, but my head was paining too much for me to be tempted to even look who it was.

My hand was peeled from my face and aspirin was placed in the centre of my palm

''Take it'' a deep voice came

I mumbled my thanks and sat up on the bed

Finn came into view, wearing boxers and no shirt; I accepted the glass of water from him, while he pulled on a t-shirt

I watched him take out a cigarette and light it.

''How are you okay?'' I managed to grumble out; we had after all taken the same thing, why was I feeling like an absolute shit alone?

''Done it before '' he said smirking

''It's normal'' Finn then added, as if to reassure me

''Well no one sent me the memo where I was going to wake up with my head feeling like a bitch'' I said groaning

''Oh, the memo was sent, you were just too eager for it last night'' he said lying down on the bed, facing me, leaning all his weight on his right elbow

I almost blushed

I drank up the water, and rested my head again, while I patiently waited for my mind to fully programme again and bring the rest of my body parts to their senses, and get me out of Finn's bed, in my shoes and out the door, unfortunately for me, that never happened.

I actually didn't care enough to think about going home, I didn't care if I looked a mess and I definitely Didn't care that I was laying in his bed, I didn't know if that was my mind talking, or my conscious trying to convince me otherwise

I got up anyway

What was I thinking? I mean last night?

''Shit'' the tear in my back was brutal, a pain shot up my spine

And then I remembered exactly why

Finn looked at me, surprised at my sudden outburst

The past week, I had asked Matt whenever he could to wrap my back and put clean gauze and ointment on it, but then he started getting on my nerves when he looked like he felt sorry for me, that's when I blew him off, and told him I was fine. - Plus I had stayed home all week in my room, where I could go without a top because I was in the sanctuary of my room.

Yesterday had actually been the first day I wore a t - shirt for the entire day.

And the second I got up from that bed, the regret seeped in

Imagine a glass door shattering, leaving behind lots of thick sharp glass shards, - as it was indeed a door and not a mirror. you being physically hauled into the pile where glass could wedge itself into you, and because of all the adrenaline pumping in your veins due to a concussion, some stupid arguing, and the feeling of your hair almost being ripped out of your skull, the pain is dulled, - until you get up the next morning

''Shit Em, what have you done?'' he asked, his voice loud and alarming

I turned to look at Finn behind me; his eyes open in shock and fixed on my back.

I blithely got up and maneuvered my body in a specific angle where I could see my back in the sight of the mirror at the far end of Finns room.

Low and behold there were bloodstains all over my back; the tear was also so painful, because it clearly hadn't been just one tear

''Are you okay?'' Finn asked obvious worry laced his voice

''I'm fine?'' I said heading for the bathroom, head down low, I was quite embarrassed now, I hadn't planned for this to happen

''Did you do that? Was it something - '' he stopped mid-sentence and threw the covers off the bed, probably looking for some object that could have done the damage

''Was it some type of reaction to the coke?''

I ignored him and went into the bathroom

He followed me in

I spun around shocked

''Ever heard of privacy?''

He ignored me

''How did that happen?'' he asked sternly.

He was probably only asking because he thought it was his fault

''Giving a shit doesn't compliment your personality'' I retorted, with the intention of pushing him out because he was crowding me

''Let me see''

''it's okay''

''That wasn't a question'' he snapped

''Okay listen here, Finn, it wasn't your fault you didn't do this, No one's going to know about any of this, - '' I said gesturing to him and his room ''and I won't breathe a word''

''You think it's about that? How shallow do you think i am?

''Pretty shallow'' I mumbled

''Lift it'' he ordered

I laughed

''Oh I see now, girls like the guys who are controlling and commanding, I'm going to have to say it's a hard pass, that sort of thing doesn't work for me''

''Lift it or I will''

''You know I can pretty much charge you with rape-talk''

''Just lift the godamn t-shirt''

I breathed in a deep breath, and lifted the back because I was tired of his blabber, it seemed like the best option, - well at least it did.

And now with the back of my t-shirt lifted I just felt vulnerable and exposed.'

''What the fuck?''

I pulled my t-shirt down hastily

''Shows over''

And as dramatic as this sounds I wanted to cry. The coke wasn't worth it

He pulled me by my wrist back with such force, that I was back in the bathroom again, quite near to him to be comfortable, I backed up

''What happened?''

I pulled myself together

''Okay listen here, I didn't sign up for psychologist Finn, I already received what I wanted- thank you, but that's all''

I picked up my stuff which was; my phone and dignity and walked to the door yanking it open -

Just my luck

- it didn't budge

I turned around to look at Finn, who was quietly sitting on the bed smoking probably his twelfth cigarette for the morning. I don't know I had lost count at three

I tapped my foot on the ground trying to grab his attention, he didn't even look up

I cleared my throat

''Well? - '' I said hoping he'd do something productive other than smoke. - Like opening the door to begin with

He eventually looked up, eyebrow raised, as to say; what was I still doing there

''Locked'' I stated

''Huh?''

This was just humiliating

''The door genius-'' I added

He took a moment to first butt out his cigarette, and set the ashtray down again, before looking up and answering me

''Wait you leaving like that'' he asked surprised

I shrugged

He carried on ''you look like a beaten ex-convict, and the coke aftermath isn't doing much for that either

''Yes, well quite frankly I don't care if I don't look like one of your supermodels" I barked

''My supermodels?'' he answered smugly amused

I wanted to smack myself repetitively. I sounded like I was the jealous type

''The door-'' I said sighing

''Just take a goddamn shower then at least'' He said infuriated

I wanted to argue, but I didn't want to walk out here looking like this

''Where's the bathroom'' I said putting down my phone on the table

He looked at me dubiously, like I had just asked whether the sky was pink.

But he said nothing and pointed to the other door that was open in his room

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, I knew about that bathroom, I mean I had been in there like a few moments ago, but I was hoping he'd say I should go to another bathroom, like a guest bathroom or something. I just didn't feel that comfortable about showering in his shower.

But I had to pretend like I didn't care

''There's a clean shirt in the dresser'' Finn said pointing to the dresser on my left

I stared at him for a moment, then mumbled:

''I'm good''

''Are you always this difficult?'' he said exasperated, getting up from the bed.

I forgot how tall he was

He opened the dresser and handed me a black t-shirt

''C'mon you didn't have a problem wearing my stuff last time'' he said urging me to take it.

I frowned at him, took the shirt, and walked into the bathroom then shut the door

No way, that never happened

I scoffed, was this some sort of joke?

Getting in the shower still confused, I turned the hot water knob, and in turn water sprouted from above me

As I lathered soap onto my body, I thought about what he just said

When have I ever worn his clothes?

But the why would he say something like that?

As if I'd wear his clothes, as if I'd come here and wear –

Ohh

Oh

The swimsuit -

When I eventually pieced it together I hoped the water could wash away my embarrassment

The t-shirt I had found abandoned in the bathroom and wore over my borrowed swimsuit the day Mandy and I swam in the lake

That t-shirt had been Finn's.