The next Friday that came, Amanda and I went over a bit later than usual to Dave's cabin.
I couldn't believe I was back at the place, though I admit, it was a mixture of curiosity and stupidity. It was also a chilly day, where it wasn't cold, but quite windy, where your hair would tend to blow in your face and mouth.
So when arriving neither Amanda nor I hesitated to go inside at once.
Inside the kitchen it was a bit crowded maybe even stuffy, Amanda greeted with friendly nods, a light smile painted across her lips. She often said that this action was very awkward, that she totally hated doing it, and that she probably looked like the awkward-est person ever. But in actual fact, she looked like the complete opposite of what she consistently describes to be 'awkward'. In fact she came across so friendly and nice, that even I felt tempted to talk to her, if I wasn't already.
I spotted Cecily, after that it didn't take her that long to then she spotted us
''There are my angels'' she gushed, walking over to us, looking like she just stepped out of a fashion magazine
Cecily held her arms wide, gesturing for two very big hugs.
As soon as she drew back, I put the hoodie that I had been holding in my hands and behind my back into hers
''Thanks for the clothes'' I said gratefully
''Sure Hun'' she said taking it and folding her other hand atop the hoodie
Amanda's eyes met mine briefly, I still never told her, that I kind of new Cecily, neither the night that we met.
It's just that recently there was a few looks that was passed around in the school halls, when I happened to be walking in them, or the and unasked questions that was practically painted across their faces and screaming at me, or the disapproving glances, which I didn't entirely know what they were for, as I didn't know what exactly I was being disproved of.
At first I was adamant to all of it, but girls could be persistent and a brother, so it might have gotten to me, I was first confused a bit why, and the only thing that came to mind was the ride with Cecily's over confident brother, which seemed to be the highlight of my year so far.
I wasn't a very exiting person I would say, who girls stalk on social media for entertainment or whatever, so there literally couldn't have been anything else besides that.
You see if something had happened then, in that car or with him I wouldn't have felt annoyed, guilty or guilty, because if I did it, I would have had to initially accept the consequences that came with it, including girls talking behind your back, - something which I truly hated.
To conclude and go straight to the reason why I was getting so riled up; because absolutely nothing happened between me and him, apart from the actual car ride, which included nothing more than him driving the car, and me sitting in the passenger seat.
But I guess girls didn't want to hear truth or some sort of reason even, they simply twisted everything and made it into something which suited their messed up version of; 'the truth'.
And Amongst those girls there were girls who wanted to ask questions, but decided best not to. I should also mention that Amanda was one of the 'girls' in this category
The only difference between Amanda and them was that: she didn't push because like she had mentioned it before when I had confronted her about this
By 'this' I mean; simply just asking me about it, instead of trying to pry
And she had responded that she didn't want to ask, because she'd never want me to potentially feel like she was pushing me to tell her something that I wasn't ready to tell her yet
And even though I had assured her, that I valued truthfulness above all, and her asking me first would cancel out the fact that she was being pushy,
Because the simple act of her coming to me first, was an indication of her respect for me and our friendship
But I guess Amanda had forgotten this
This whole thing was so absurd to me; because it was honestly nothing, and everyone was making it as if though I had slept with the guy, birthed his offspring, and when he hadn't paid his kid's child support on time, I had taken matters into my own hands, by cutting off his genitals and slitting his throat
When it was actually noting more than a stupid twenty minute car ride from Dave's cabin to school, and might I add that it was a dreadful car ride, with the only thing that could be labelled; out of the ordinary was him putting his hand on my leg, - not because he was interested or anything, don't get it twisted, but because he was a pervert and that's simply what perverts did. I didn't have to explain anything to anyone; neither did I want to, because I was pretty sure they would twist that too.
So I was also truly grateful for Amanda's nonchalant manner and patience. - But I still offered no explanation.
Best friends or not
''You guys know each other'' Amanda asked slightly smug, her fingers pointing briefly to me then Cecily
''Yes, we met last week'' Cecily replied before I could even open my mouth. - Sending a wink my way
I smiled at her, then looked around the kitchen briefly
Same ordinary dull crowd
By the time I focused on Cecily and Amanda again they were engaged in some light conversation, that I didn't bother partaking in.
In the midst of their conversation I watched as Cecily uncomfortably shifted the hoodie I had handed her from under the one arm to the other, just to clarify; I wasn't a very nice or helpful - let alone a friendly person, but her shifting and discomfort was annoying me so I offered purely for that reason alone.
''You want me to put that somewhere for you?'' I asked awkwardly
Plus I didn't have anything else to do
''That would be great sweetie!'' she gushed turning around to face me and thrusting the hoodie into my hand.
''Where should I put it?'' I asked my voice very muted, over the loud chatter of noise
''Oh, just set it down in my room somewhere''
''Got it''
''You remember where my room is right?'' she asked, all her attention on me now
''Course'' I said confidently
''Okay great'' she said before brushing me off, and carrying on in what seemed to be a very exciting conversation with Amanda
I walked away from them, and I was awarded with another look from Amanda as I went up the stairs.
I found her room, same place as last time, the room right at the end of the passage to your right. The door was closed, so I knocked on the door briefly before stepping in.
I let the door swing open as I entered, looking around for a place to set down the hoodie.
I heard footsteps increasing in the distance; I spun around just before the sound was standing right across from me
''Hey, what you doing in here'' Dave's directed repugnant voice echoed
I winced, slightly alarmed, as his tone was quite bitter, nothing out of the ordinary
''I was told to put this in here'' I said gesturing to the hoodie in my hands, then decided to set it down on the dresser, maybe proving a point even
Dave glared at the jacket, then back at me
Before he could say anything, - if it had been his intention of doing so, someone stepped from behind him brushing past him through the door
Finn
How could I possibly forget?
He walked past me as well and threw himself on the bed
And just like that Dave's attention swerved from glaring at me to fully focusing on his brother.
A moment passed
The sight of Finn must have been very effective, because Dave seemed to have forgotten all about me; instead he sighed and left the room, shutting the door with a light thud.
I stood dead still for the briefest few seconds
Then began walking towards the door, and was about to put my hand on the nob, when Finn's voice stopped me
''What's the rush'' he dared, and I practically heard the smirk in his voice
I turned around slowly, only to squint at him.
something about his tone, had been mocking, like he was making fun of me, as stupid as it sounds, even his eyes danced around the room mocking me
I've only encountered him twice, and both times I've experienced with him he seemed to get more on my nerves
My phone buzzed, I took it out of my pocket, and read the message
Going with CC to sTore brB
I read the text Amanda sent
I was a bit upset at what I read, I mean, in the message she didn't say; tag along or; I'm waiting for you, which she could of, and she knows I don't know anyone here, so if she leaves It will just be me, either being awkward or me pretending to have such an awesome social media life, when actually I'm just scrolling through old snaps and pictures
Sighing I locked my phone and slid it into my pocket
Finn looked up from his phone that I hadn't noticed he too had pulled out
He looked at me a smug look plastered on his face, and patted the empty spot on the bed next to him.
His eyes screaming: I dare you
Plus it wasn't as if I had somewhere else to be, seeing that my best friend ditched me, and the only other girl that speaks to me here, happened to go with her
This is starting to sound almost like a cliché teen fiction novel
Oh god, I was actually considering this
I literally didn't know anyone
Fuck it
I just had to do one thing first
I walked to the room door, and opened the room door Dave once shut, then went over to the bed
Another smirk from Finn but he said nothing
Screw him, if he thought I was chicken for opening a door. I thought to myself, but I had already dealt with a week of eyes glued to the back of my head like a magnet to metal, hell was I letting anyone at school or at this party have another reason to talk about me, because you never knew when someone would conveniently stumble into the room and see me in the room with Finn alone.
This brought me back to why I was doing this again
He was maybe a pervert and annoying but he was conversation and company
This apparently was what I needed in order to not like an even more sore looser than I already was
I got on the bed next to him, lying back against the headboard.
you know you get those people who you think are cool, or you might like them or want them to like you, - whatever the case may be, - that you care so much, that you make sure when you with them that you look okay, or seem cooler than you actually are, might even go out of your way to put on a little perfume or chew gum............
He definitely wasn't one of those people
I didn't give two shits
Finn pulled out a cigarette, and lit it in what seemed to be less than a second
He put the cigarette into his mouth, this one smelled different to any cigarette I've ever smelt, I lay my head back and closed my eyes
''Is there some type of pleasure in smoking?'' I asked, not really caring if he thought I was dumb or annoying
To be honest, if I were a smoker and someone had just asked me that, I would be annoyed
Finn didn't answer for a moment, and for a second I thought he was just going to ignore me
Fine by me
''Depends '' he stated flatly putting his arm on the head board behind me, his arm practically touching my hair
I felt the bed move as he lay back against the headboard and watched a puff of smoke cloud above us
''Are you an only child?'' he asked
Surprised by his sudden decision at trying to talk to me, I turned to face him
''No, I have a brother'' I answered anyway
''Younger or older?'' The manner in which he asked, was almost like he thought he had some ridiculous right to know
I frowned upon this
''Does it matter?''
''None of this matters, I'm just asking'' he stated
I breathed out and said nothing
''Well now that you've started the 'twelve million questions' game, now it's my turn''
He shrugged and took another drag
''Why are you not in school?''
I thought he would in the least bit flinch, but he stayed unfazed
''Didn't seem fitting'' he responded, as if his answer, answered my question and explained how the earth was round, and that stars weren't star-shape
I had taken a risk at that one, but I guessed if Cecily wasn't in college for that long and Finn was younger than her, that would mean he was supposed to be in school right?
I didn't even know how to answer that statement that he so blatantly conversed, so I carried on, - it probably wasn't a big deal anyway
''My turn'' he added, shifting on the bed and resting all his weight on his elbow
''Ever had a boyfriend?''
I never knew how to answer this specific question, not because I was guilty or ashamed of anything, but simply for the reason of; what people would have to say about it. Because some people thought if you said yes, - that made you a slut and that you're too young to be dating, and do your parents know? And some people made fun of you about it, - because you're so 'innocent' and know nothing about life - but I didn't care about his opinion so I answered with the truth
''No'' I confirmed what he probably already knew.
''How many STD's have you got, from all the girls you slept with?''
Again I tried to hit hard, but he just didn't seem to care
Finn chuckled and flicked the ash into a cute little empty jewellery holder on the night stand next to him
No answer
''What do you do now?'' I settled for instead
''I'm a free spirit, easy come, easy go'' he replied effortlessly
''Oh excuse me, Mr Bruno Mars'' I responded chidingly
He squinted at me, probably debating if he should just roll his eyes and let it slide or slap me. I smiled and leaned my head against the headboard
Glad at the almost annoyed response I got out of him
''How do you do it?'' I asked, all sarcasm stripped from my voice now
Finn regarded me for a moment
I was about to open my mouth again, to give more detail to what I was asking, thinking maybe he didn't know exactly what I had been referring to
''It's simple; we just have a tendency to complicate things''
He knew
I sat still, and squinted my eyes
He must have had some type of super power to just answer questions without actually telling you anything
The arm that was behind my neck and rested on the headboard moved, the hand attached to it eased itself onto my shoulder and began stroking it lightly
What the hell was he doing?
I didn't flinch, because I was afraid it would show that I was weak
Or so I thought...
The hand movement changed in a Nano second and the deft fingers started slipping near my neck then underneath my t-shirt, nimble fingers just brushing my bra strap.
I slapped my hand on his
I glared at him
Was he serious?
''Well clearly you are an even bigger pervert than I thought''
He didn't stop; instead his hand was underneath my bra strap now, eyes dancing dangerously
Calling me out on my bluff
I slipped off the bed, and out of his reach
''Well I'll let you get right back to it then, continue it is whatever you do, somewhere in between alcohol and drugs and constantly searching for every opportunity to jump in any girls pants''
I got up from the bed, a bit shaken, as I've never really been touched by a guy and it did send an unsettling feeling through me
I headed for the door.
Leaving me feeling a bit frazzled, and if I could guess what Finn was feeling right now it would be: unfazed