Oh he knew he was way too invested in this girl, he hated himself for texting her relentlessly, only for her to literally just ignore him
She was like heroine to a drug addict, also her not wanting him as badly as he wanted her was a major turn on for him, he was aware at how this made him sound like a typical douche bag, but he was a typical douche bag.
And to be entirely honest all his efforts hadn't gone unnoticed, because she was coming here tonight. In fact when he had called last night inviting her over as per usual, to say he was mildly surprised when she answered was an understatement, he asked her to come over, and Finn might've let it slip that he missed her, and that maybe he wanted her to stay the night âin a non âsexual way of course
He wasn't going to pretend that it didn't hurt that it sometimes felt like she didn't want to know him, maybe it was just his insecurities talking but she did that to him, made him feel good about himself as well as insecure at the same time
A few weeks ago Emily's little brother Matthew had asked if Emily was his girlfriend, and he wanted to say yes because for the first time he wanted this girl to be his girlfriend, and he knew girls liked that, the fact that they knew they were in a serious relationship with someone, like they knew it wasn't just a one sided thing
But Emily...
Although it was a fairly serious relationship he had felt so unsure, yes he was all in, but he worried about Emily and what Emily would think? If she even wanted this?
But that night he hadn't wanted to seem like a chicken, because him taking so long to reply would be enough of an answer, which was why Finn hadn't hesitated and said yes. And oh how in the next few moments he wanted so badly for her to speak to him, tell him how she felt about that, but she had said nothing
Sometimes Finn wished he could read her mind
She arrived at 9 pm that night, the plan was for them to sell some merchandise, then come home and spend some quality time together, Finn felt bad that all they seemed to do was sell, like he hadn't taken her anywhere for her
''Are we making any head way with sales?'' Emily asked, twirling a strand of her long dark hair absentmindedly
''better headway than before' 'Finn said looking at her and sending her a wink
She shook her head playfully
''No, like I hope you getting somewhere, closer to your target '' she added
He looked to her again wishing he could read her mind, was she tired of doing this? He did put a lot on her, he also possibly put her in danger countless of times, but Finn swore he wanted to do right by her after doing so much wrong by her. He had spoken to Cecily on how to make a relationship work, and Cecily had looked at him as if had asked her for an organ at first, nonetheless she still gave him advice, that day she told him he should start by being truthful, and by keeping the truth away from someone you take away from their choices because you are not allowing them to choose, to choose you
Finn dreaded this, because what if she didn't choose him? In fact he had a lot of confidence that she wouldn't choose him, but Finn also knew that sometimes by omitting the truth to protect them, you could end up pushing them away
And of course he would never want to put Emily in harm's way, but whilst fretting over keeping her safe, he was putting her in danger by lying to her and overthinking everything
Regardless of all of that Finn knew what the right thing to do was; it was after all her choice to make and not his
So even though he had ben petrified and it had been the worst most stressful thing he had ever done, he told her, because he wanted her in his life, and he wanted to do this the right way
And thankfully she still wanted to be in his
''all things considered, I'd say not bad'' Finn answered
''but not good either? She asked, but Finn could tell she thought she already knew the answer to this
He said nothing
''Finn were selling too little to make the amounts you want''
''yes I'm aware' 'Finn answered half-heartedly
''is there no way anyone would want to buy bulk from you?'' Emily enquired
Finn looked to Emily, thinking of how sick he must be to drag her into all of this, dragging her in so deep that she was now making business proposals
''No way, without it being traced back to me, and by then I'd be a dead man already'' He stated, and was frightened at how unbothered he sounded by all of it
Emily said nothing after that, they got to their destination shortly after that; which was another frat house, they fanned out and got to it immediately.
Not long after they got to work, he saw Emily exchange something with someone and he had another one of those guilt attacks, Finn knew that this was on him; it was his fault she would have never been doing this if it weren't for him, and although Emily never complained about it, it didn't feel one bit right to Finn
After a couple of hours the guilt became too unbearable, he needed to end this
Finn found Emily upstairs, where he informed her that they were leaving
''why?'' she asked her breath tickling his ear, when she leant over to whisper in his ear because the music in this place was way too loud
Finn needed to be smart about this
''This party blows'' he settled on saying as he didn't want to tell her that he felt bad for sort of using her to push his drugs
''come on we can make more'' She whined
''please let's just leave it tonight'' he begged
Emily said nothing, but she went with him anyway
''I can't stay long I need to be back '' she said while they were in the car, which only made him feel worse because that meant that had wasted of her time selling drugs when they could have literally been doing anything else besides that
''why didn't you say'' he said trying at best to not overreact
''I'm saying now'' she retorted
Finn wanted to ask her why she needed to leave early, it wasn't as if she had never stayed over before, Emily seemed to have read his mind because she spoke
''I sort of left without anyone knowing'' she said, her voice barely above a whisper
His eyes went wide with shock
''you snuck out? '' Finn asked unable to keep the surprise out of his voice
''it's no big deal'' Emily insisted, but the both of them knew it was a big deal
Actually it had been nothing but a big deal, Emily wondered how people did it, it had been one of the most stressful thing she had ever done in her entire life, and that was saying a lot, this entire night she had been on edge wondering if mom had found out by now, truthfully Emily hadn't been so keen on the idea of Matt covering for her, she honesty didn't think he could pull it off, which was why she kept on checking her phone in case mom sent her some death threatening texts
Finn felt bad, if he needed to go and knock on her door asking permission from her parents to take her out he would, but he doubted that's what Emily wanted
''do you want me to take you home?'' Finn asked her instead
''no, let's go to your place if we're not going to sell anymore''
That sounded like a plan
They got home and Finn put the lights on, they didn't even reach his room, when Emily walked up to him standing on her tippy toes so that she could reach him
He laughed, and helped her out, meeting her halfway, so that she could press her lips to his
He spun her around pinning her against the wall, her right leg going around his waist
Things were hot and heavy
''We can't'' Finn whispered against her lips
He seemed to be saying that lot
''Sure we can'' Emily replied smartly, beginning to trail a line of kisses up his jaw, and he bent his head back baring her his neck involuntarily
Emily slid of his jacket off his shoulders, and he let her
They staggered back onto the bed, her atop him laughing; their lips were separated momentarily, until he brought his lips back onto hers in a passionate meeting
Finn pressed his hands at the small of her back bringing her body closer to his, his hands moved into her hair tugging slightly, a gasp left her mouth it was a new sensation and she responded accordingly, Finn pressed his lips at the base of her neck and she shivered in anticipation
She reached down, unbuckling his jeans belt and then moving onto his button and zipper
''Emily'' he breathed out
''MmmHmm'' she mumbled
Finn knew that he couldn't do this, that they couldn't do this
Think of last time- he reminded himself, he needed to fight temptation, but he didn't want to
Emily slid off his jeans along with his boxers letting the fabric rest at his ankles, his full length springing out, slightly startling her
Truth is, Emily had been thinking about this a lot, she wanted to do it, - yes the first time wasn't great and she hadn't been ready then, but she was fairly certain that she was prepared and overall ready right now, plus she wanted it to be better
She stroked the full length of him, Finn sucked in a breath
Emily gulped, she had never gotten any practical experience, and she didn't necessarily know exactly what to do, obviously she knew of what to do and what was sort of supposed to happen it was the 21srt century after all
But what if she messed this up?
She couldn't exactly ask Finn, because right now it was practically her seducing him
The irony
Emily took him into her mouth
Oh he could tell that she had never done this before, it didn't make it bad, it just meant he could tell she had no idea what she was doing, but it only turned him on more because it was the fact that she wanted to do this for him
She moved her head, up and down her hands pressed on his thighs; she felt the adrenaline in his legs
''Emily'' he breathed out
She continued
But he didn't let her finish because he sat up slightly, grabbing her by her waist and hoisted her up till she was sitting on him
She giggled
He kissed her again
Fuck all restraint Finn thought lifting her shirt over her head exposing her from the waist up, she continued stroking his length sending him well on his way to madness
He sucked in another breath
Be good for her Finn reminded himself
Emily pulled off her leggings and lower undergarments, leaving her with nothing but a bra on, the sight of her drove him mad, Finn could feel his groin and entire being ache for her
Be good for her
She still held him in her hands and begun to rub his tip at her opening, which was enough to make him cum already, he turned her around trapping her below him
Emily looked up at him; he was past the point where he could stop himself anymore
And he entered her, slowly at first
She bit her lip, and that turned him on like crazy
Finn sucked in a breath, sort of hating himself; here he was again after he promised he wouldn't
You can pull out his subconscious screamed at him
But admittedly Finn didn't want to, she felt so good
''Are you okay'' he whispered
Emily nodded, hands on his hips, she guided him back
Fuck that was hot
He moved, doing what she wanted of him, until the both of them went over the edge, and Finn felt Emily shudder beneath him.
Finn smiled
When they were all done, elated and sweaty, she rolled onto her side, and he stretched out his arm, welcoming her to come closer, she kissed his lips gently
''permission to speak freely'' Emily said resting a hand on his chest
''granted'' Finn said his voice all raspy still
''That was better than the last time I remembered it'' she stated
He felt bad, but he also couldn't help but smile
''waay better'' she added dramatically dragging out the 'way'
And Finn couldn't help it, he laughed