''I need to show you something'' were the first words that had left his mouth
I didn't answer, honestly I couldn't believe it, the nerve to pitch up unannounced and demand I go with him, - no Finn didn't owe me some sort of explanation or anything like that, but I had been worried, I had enough stuff to worry about, so this was unfair on me, I hated him for making me worry about him
I looked away, was this some sort of game to him? He had disappeared for a few weeks with a gun if I might add, what the hell was I supposed to think
I had gone back to Dave's but Finn was nowhere to be found
I had asked Dave but he shrugged, thinking I had something to do with Finn's sudden disappearance
''You can't do that, you don't get to just waltz in here like nothing happened'' I said
''I'm sorry Em I just want to show you something, I promise I'll explain everything on the way''
I stood my ground
Finn began walking away; I think he thought maybe I'd follow him
Boy how wrong he was
''Who is Frank'' I asked
Finn stopped dead in his tracks
''How do you know about that?'' he asked his eyes wide open in horror
That was the first time I had seen Finn so scared
''You told me about it'' I stated dubiously
He frowned
Had he forgotten?
''The last time I saw you'' I added slowly, trying to jog his memory
''When? '' Finn asked
''Thanksgiving night, I found you drunk lying on my front lawn'' I added
Finn let out a shaky breath, everything clicking into place, - I could tell
''Frank was my friend, he died'' he said hastily ''Now please Em get in the car''
I didn't really want to, truth be told this relationship I had going with Finn had become too much, and I was looking for a way out of this without making it seem like it was me
''only if you promise to tell me the whole story, nothing left out'' I said hoping this was enough to get me out of going with, I knew how much he valued his trust, and his trust issues stemmed deeper
He was hesitant
There's my chance
''forget it'' I said walking in the opposite direction
''No secrets, I promise'' he said hurriedly
To say I was taken aback would be a huge understatement
Regardless, I got in the car
I seat belted myself in, thinking this might protect me from what Finn was about to say next
I don't think I wanted to hear, but I was already here
Finn looked at me giving me a smile uncertainty all over his face
I hated whatever was going on here
Finn cleared his throat, and began
''My dad kicked me out of the house when I was ten, I went to live with my aunt, but she didn't want to look after me, so she told me to fuck off outta her house''
I listened in horror for a total of four seconds
''Wait hold up'' I said holding up my hand to stop him
''Finn- ''
He sighed
''It was a while ago, I'm not seeking pity or anything, you said no secrets''
I nodded afraid I might say something stupid
''I was on the streets for a while, until uh...my employer picked me up
I squinted at him
He cleared his throat nervously
''Big Rick'' he fixed ''next thing I knew I was in chin deep, and trapped â''
''trapped in what exactly?'' I enquired
''Let's say, the 'work' â ''
I pretty much spaced out after this; I heard everything he said of course, I listened in horror as Finn relayed the last few year of his life
My heart ached with the sadness and intensity of his story, and even though I said I wouldn't, I knew I pitied him now
I wish I hadn't then, I wish I had a pity switch that I could of turned off, because then it would have been easier for me to walk away, but that's the thing about pity; it forces you to stay
Once he was finished, I was so overwhelmed by emotions, I wanted to comfort him, Finn's hand had begun to shake, and I could tell it had taken everything out of him, This was why I had unbuckled my seatbelt, and climbed onto him, pressing my lips to his ever so gently, lips wet due to the tears that had slipped from my eyes unnoticed
Finn drew back, and looked me in the eyes, and raised a shaking hand to wipe a tear from my left cheek
''If I knew this was going to happen, I would've told you this long time ago'' he said looking down to me sitting on his lap, nodding approvingly
Despite myself I laughed
''I'm crazy about you Emily'' he said kissing me again, so gently, it tickled
I got back into my seat, leaning my head back on the headrest
I needed time to process
Finn had been through so much, things I couldn't even imagine what it had felt like
''What did you want to show me?'' I said evading whatever feelings and emotions I was feeling then
Hey, don't hate me. It's a coping mechanism
With that Finn shifted the stick shift into gear and we were off
________________________________________________
We parked across what seemed to be a storage place, I had watched YOU the TV series, and I had doubts concerning storage places
I glanced at Finn unsure
''What are we doing here?'' I voiced my doubts
Everything was moving too fast, spiraling out of control even, and although this might sound like a terrible thing to say on my behalf at least, - I didn't know if Finn was worth all of this, truth be told he had a lot of baggage.
In fact all he had seemed to baggage, decorated with more baggage
I've been a good girl most of my life, never doing anything remotely bad, or circling anywhere near trouble seemed to lie, I prided myself on this, because I didn't need to, but I did
And everything Finn was telling me, doing, and saying, was everything I had been going against all this time
I guess thoughts of how this could all blow up in my face had me doubting everything, including if Finn was really worth all this
Finn glanced at me uncertainly
''I hope the right thing'' he muttered
I frowned, but said nothing as I climbed out of the rover
I heard Finn do the same and shut the door with a light thud
Walking up to the main entrance, I couldn't help but look around uncertainly, Finn's unease was contagious because I couldn't stop fidgeting
It was clear to me that whatever the thing Finn needed to show me was in the storage room 346, I knew this because that was the number written on the key that they guy behind the front desk had given him, and that whatever it was, It wasn't something like your dead grandmother's old purses and shoes, or old family heirlooms and furniture. I was a bit afraid of what I might've seen, at one time on our way walking to the room, Finn reached for my hand blindly, then let go, but not before I felt that his pulse had been racing
Another thing I noticed was that Finn was prolonging the entire experience, by pretending to look out for the numbers written on the door, as if he didn't know exactly where room 346 was. And I knew Finn, well enough to know that he wasn't the type of person to leave something in a container and not know the exact location, floor plan, blueprint of the entire building memorized and embedded into his system.
But like most things when it came to Finn, I didn't point this out, I could see that whatever this was for Finn, it was extremely difficult
After at least 15 minutes of complete agony, of pretending to look for a room that I knew Finn knew exactly where the room was, he finally crouched at the bottom of room 346 and inserted the key into the padlock
He looked at me briefly, before turning the key in the lock
The interior of this place was very dull, muted and kind of reminded me of a prison, kind of depressing actually
Something happened next
I don't remember the exact order of the next chain of events, but it went something like this, and I know this sounds crazy but I swear I actually felt the atmosphere shift around me, truthfully it had been tense the whole way to this dreadful location, but the last few minutes had been excruciating
Finn tensed up beside me, his back muscles moved under the white short sleeved shirt he had on, when Finn looked up and in the direction of the way we had come in, he stood up immediately, straightening himself out like a folded up blanket
I had been so zoned out I hadn't even noticed someone had called out his name
And when I looked to the direction of what had caused the sudden distress in Finn's body language, I saw two males, ones who I have never seen before, they were pretty averagely dressed, one was wearing sweatpants and a grey sweater with white tennis trainers, he looked to be around late forty's; my dad's age, sporting a potbelly and a unevenly shaved beard, the other one had on jeans, and a polo, just two average middle aged men, in a storage place, making direct eye contact with Finn and I
I looked to Finn, waiting for him to introduce me, or at least tell me who these people were
That's when I saw it, it passed so quickly, I almost didn't pick it up, Finn's Addams apple bobbing up and down slowly gave it away at first, followed by the flicker of fear in his eyes. All of a sudden I was alert, and poised like an animal ready to attack
''Finick how's it been''? Polo shirt asked
This was news to my ears, I had no idea Finn's full name was Finick, I would've guessed something like Finland, Finley, Finnula or Fin â actually I wouldn't have, the name Finn suited him as is
Finn chuckled nervously ''All is good, how about you, Kyle?'' He answered nodding at the other man ''Edmund''
Interesting, first name basis, what did that mean?
Edmund spoke up ''we missed your sorry ass''
Kyle and Finn ignored Edmund as their attention was somewhere else
Me
''Who's this?' Kyle asked, gesturing to me
Finn didn't answer, so I introduced myself
''I'm Emily'' I interjected offering a slight wave
The two men glanced at me at the exact same time their gazes causing my skin to crawl
''Nice to meet you Emily - And how do you know out little Finn over here?'' Edmund enquired glancing at me in such a way my insides churned
Finn cleared his throat
''I don't'' I replied
They laughed
''So what brings you here? Finn asked? '' Changing the subject instantly
''I could ask the same of you'' Edmund answered smartly
Edmund was awarded with another awkward chuckle from Finn
''C'mon let's see'' Kyle persisted, you have some gold locked up here?''
I sucked in a breath; truth was I had not expected such a direct question
''I wish'' Finn said laughing again
This nervous laughter was getting out of hand, even I felt guilty even though I was innocent here
''c'mon, what's yours is ours, let us see''
The fear in Finn's eyes now evident
Were these people serious? I could see the gears in Finn's head working, he was actually considering this
I didn't care who these people were, or what was on the other side of the roll up door, in that moment all I could think about was getting these two weird slightly perverted men away from storage 346
I'd never been a religious type, but in that moment I prayed like hell to any god out there for a miracle
That's when I got it
A miracle
There two doors away, I almost didn't see it.
I knew that whatever Finn had behind this door needed to be concealed at all costs, at least from Tweedle-dee and Tweedledum over here
It felt like I only had one shot at this
I saw storage 349's lock was on, but it wasn't clicked into place, I took the key out of Finn's hand and walked to storage 349 praying that the storage was really unlocked, and my mind hadn't been playing games on me
But most importantly, praying that I didn't just fuck things up
I knew I had everyone's attention now
''Granny said I should only bring back what we need, but throw everything else away'' I began pretending to fidget with the lock a little before actually slipping off the lock, closing my eyes and mustering all the strength I had in my upper body to push up the door seamlessly. I overestimated the weight of the roll up door, and the shutter banged harder than it needed to
I know it was nothing, but I felt really cool in that moment
I hadn't even known my eyes had been closed, until I realized I couldn't see
All that there was in storage number 349 was 8 boxes of unknown objects and some surfing equipment
The two men stood their expressions unreadable
Finn looked like he was having heart palpitations
''We actually here for me,''- I continued ''I had asked Finn to string along to help me clear out some of my granny's things
Finn walked over to me and committed to it, walking into the room briskly, and begun moving things around, making himself busy
The men made their way closer, peering into the room
I could tell Kyle and Edmund had been craving something far more juicier and scandalous as opposed to what was staring right back at them right now
''Well we don't want to disturb, merry unpacking then, we'll be out of your hair'' Kyle said
''see you later'' Edmund said by way of greeting us
we watched them turn the corner ad leave the building, Finn stood frozen on the spot dumbfounded, then with no warning whatsoever he chuckled, and not those fake chuckles like he had seemed to be doing when those two men were around , a genuine one, one that reached his eyes
Finn pushed me up against a wall
''Emily you're a fucking godsend you know that'' Finn exclaimed
I smiled, I couldn't help it
His lips met mine in an urgent kiss, and then we were making out, I'll admit his lips were a little cold, but smooth, Finn kissed so effortlessly it was crazy hot, His hands pressed at the back of my head, the other pressed against the small of my back
I pushed my chest into his
He made a little sound into my mouth
The hand that had been resting on my back, had now travelled under my shirt, to hold one of my breasts
A little gasp escaped my mouth
Finn drew back, his breathing uneven
''We can't do this''
And I knew we couldn't, this was a public area, and it was just a heat in the moment type of thing
''okay then let's go to a place where we can'' I retorted devilishly
But the way he said was like he didn't mean that, like he meant that we could never, - I don't know do anything slightly more intimate
I laughed and moved closer
''Em, I'm serious'' he said, resting his hands on my shoulders forcing me to not come any closer
I frowned
''What's that supposed to mean?''
He was the one usually all up in my grill
Finn looked at me for the first time, properly,
Maybe he lost interest, guys don't actually like you after they had sex with you, and maybe he never actually thought I was attractive
I didn't look away from him, I didn't dare, it made me feel a little stronger, I knew this was the end, honestly I thought I'd be smarter when it came to these type of things, but I guess this went beyond me, and you couldn't really predict it
I looked away
''Em-''
''I'm going to get out of here'' I said my voice an audible whisper
Finn's eyes widened at me, like he had just been sent some revelation from god, realization had hit him like a truck
He grabbed my hand
''Fuck that's not what I meant''
I didn't look at him, but he pulled me closer to him
''Is it so wrong to not want to hurt you again?'' Finn asked earnestly
''Again?''
I let out a sigh
''Finn, I thought we were over this, you did not hurt me'' I stated
''It was never something to get over'' he stated in response
''I don't know how you want me to answer that?''
''Answer it how you want to answer it, you are your own person''
''I have never said I was someone else's'' I answered hotly, this conversation was honestly starting to confuse me
''Then act like it'' He barked
''Okay what the hell is that supposed to mean?''
He let out a sigh
''This would be easier if you were mad at me or something'' Finn added softly
''Mad at you for what? '' I asked sighing
''for hurting you'' he exclaimed
''But I'm not mad, and I'm not hurt''
Finn didn't answer; he just walked back to the initial door, glancing around the room quickly, before crouching on the ground and inserting the key for the second time today into that padlock. I took that as a sign of him not wanting to talk about this anymore
''What was that back there?'' I asked referring to the two guys who had just left
Finn stopped what he was doing, and got up slowly, only to turn and face me, for a moment he did nothing, like he didn't know what he was supposed to do next
I waited expectantly for literally anything; movement, a word
Finn planted his hands on either sides of my face, our eyes meeting for the first time full on, it was the most intimate thing we've ever done, and I mean we had sex, could you imagine the look he had in his eyes right now
Finn surprises me all the time, like things you'd never expect him to do he does at the time you least expect it, His eyes seemed to soften, and then almost as if he was slapped in the face, he drew back so fast that my cheek felt cold from the absence of his hand
''What the fuck was I thinking I shouldn't have brought you here'' He began, suddenly panicked
I palmed my forehead
''Please don't start with this again''
''I shouldn't have come here''
''Too late for that now' 'I said humorously