The next couple of days I ate lunch in the library, for one sole reason: I was too humiliated and broken to sit in the cafeteria, after the incident at Rachel's party.
After that party I ran in the direction of home, and, ran until I couldn't breathe, then I requested an uber
Amanda had done the worst thing she could've done to me
I realised how depressing school actually was when you didn't have any friends/friend
I sat right at the back, by the little reading table near the church style window, and ate my lunch.
I usually pulled a book from the nearest shelf and sat with it, in case someone spotted me and figured that I was having lunch in the library like a literal looser
The library wasn't a very loud place so it was easy for me to put my lunch away and pretend like I had been reading the whole time whenever I heard someone heading in my direction, Which was exactly what I did before I came face to face with call-me-Collin
''Fancy seeing you here'' he said in way of greeting
''I could say the same for you'' I said hating myself at how harsh that sounded.
In that specific moment, I hadn't cared, I had been so angry at the entire world, even my self
Mostly angry at Amanda, but taking it out on everyone else, because I didn't know how else to take it out on Amanda without sinking to her level
I don't know if call-me-Collin knew this, but he didn't seem to take offence to my blatant rudeness
''What you reading?''
I shrugged nonchalantly
I had no idea what book it was
I just wanted him to leave me alone
Call-me-Collin didn't budge
''Well if you like reading and coming to the library in your breaks you should join the book club''
I nodded, pretending to be interested willing him with my mind to disappear, he didn't
''My sister Rue loves it, you should ask her about it'' He carried on
And then as if this were a movie, and this was rehearsed Rue came up to him
''Hi'' she said to me
I gave her a small smile
''What's up?'' she asked Call-me-Collin
''I don't know mom said we should come home, mom phoned Mr Riddell already, Mr Riddell said we should get our things together, because she'll be here before the bell rings''
Rue nodded her head worriedly
''Do you maybe know what it is?'' she asked
''No idea'' call-me-Collin said shuffling his feet nervously
I pretended to not notice them or listen, but it was kind of hard when they were right in front of me, all I could do was hope and pray that they left me be
That's when Rue seemed to notice who I was for the 1st time
''Emily?" Rue basically blurted
I huffed out a breath unintentionally
''Oh, sorry'' Rue exclaimed taking my reaction as a sign of annoyance at her loudness, which wasn't unnecessarily untrue
Rue moved a little closer to where I was sitting
The situation was gradually getting worse
''I'm sorry about what happened the night of Rachel's party'' she began
I looked down, because I was afraid of what I might do
Truthfully I just wanted this whole thing to be a dream
I think Rue took the hint because she dropped it, and started walking towards the direction where she had come from when she stopped dead in her tracks
''Oh how is Finn?'' she asked, genuine worry written all over her face which unnerved me
''What do you mean? Is he okay?'' I asked slowly not understanding her entirely
''After the hits he took, that wasn't pretty''
''When?'' I asked my heart hammering in my chest
''At Rachel's'' she said, her tone implying that this was public news
I was worried now, and I needed to know more
It was then that I guess Rue figured that I didn't know what she was talking about
''Oh, you didn't know'' she blurted
I think she wanted to walk away then, thinking she probably said too much
But I stopped her
''What happened?''
Call-me-Collin gave Rue a look, basically urging her to drop it, but I caught the look, and call-me-Collin smiled at me sheepishly when I frowned at him
''Not that long after Riley spoke to you, Finn was there, throwing fists, and you know how it goes â''
''No I don't'' I added sharply
Rue flinched but carried on
''At first everyone was stunned, and then everyone started cheering and taking videos, it was pretty insane, Tyler also threw a punch at Finn, and then everything just spiralled out of control from there'' she stated so matter of factly, that I had no doubt this was all true
I swallowed
''How's Finn?'' was my response
Rue smiled, a sad smile
She shrugged
Call-me-Collin took that as his cue, and took Rue by the arm
''We got to get going now'' he said more to me than to Rue
I nodded barely looking at either of them.
The rest of the day, I couldn't focus on anything; all I could think about was Finn
What I'd say to him, or do to him
This was exactly why straight after school; I took an uber, and basically marched into his home
Lucky for me Cecily or Dave were not at home
Finn was sitting on the front porch, all traces of anger evaporated out of me when I saw him
I took in his appearance from head to toe
He didn't seem badly injured; the worse seemed to have been on his face
His eye was probably about forty ugly shades of purple, green and blue
It clearly went down, if I had known I would've come earlier
Our eyes met, he was the first one to look away.
I sat next to him, folding my hands in my lap
After a beat of silence, I spoke
''Hi'' I said unsure, of how to do this
''Hey'' he murmured
''Why did you do this?'' I asked leaning my head against the wall
''Defending your honour'' he answered smartly
I looked to him
''I've never asked that of you'' I stated
Finn didn't say anything he just raked his hand through his hair
''You don't have to fight my battles for me'' I carried on
Finn blew out a breath
''Fuck Emily, I'm not taking away your independence or some shit, was I supposed to listen to Riley's bullshit, and let it slide?''
Yes, he was
Because it was true
A tear slipped out of my eye
No, this could not be happening again
I wiped my tear away furiously, and got up
''Well you shouldn't have, you could've just let it fucking slide''
This was unfair
Taking my anger out on him
''Why do you always have to be so Godamn stubborn'' he barked, matching my tone, he was up on his feet as well now
An angry tear fell, I didn't care
''You shouldn't have, it was stupid!'' I retorted, my voice wobbling, we both heard it
He scoffed
''I never asked for permission''
More tears started falling, hot and angry
''Well it was true! Every word was true,'' I spat
He laughed, a bitter laugh
''I don't give a fuck, what was true and what wasn't, I wasn't about to let some dick talk like that about you'' he said crushing his cigarette under his boot
Finn stepped closer, I didn't move this time
His expression softened when he looked at me
He wiped the last residue of my tears away with his thumb
''You know I thought getting into a fight and defending your girl was supposed to get the girl to fall head over heels for you, not get angry at you. â'' He began
''Guess I got it all wrong'' he added softer this time
Despite myself I laughed, and then I kissed him of course