*Fifteen*

The atmosphere had changed so much at home, that I couldn't describe what exactly what was happening anymore. I had found myself worrying sick for weeks, worrying about everything and anything - It didn't do me any good of course.

But that seemed to be all I could think of; things that I had no power or control of/over

So much so, that it engulfed me

Which was why I decided that on Friday I needed out

I was getting out of the house

It helped that Matt had gone to a friend's house and would most likely only be returning home the Monday. Just the thought of sitting at home and listening to the endless ticks of the grandfather clock in the living room tick for what seemed like all eternity was enough to feed my sudden need to get out of the house

Mentally I knew I would not be able to handle sitting another hour in this dead house, with nothing but the clocks rhythmic ticking to keep me company.

There was just one problem; I hated socializing.-well, that wasn't entirely true, I socialized with Amanda, I didn't so much like socializing in groups, or with people I didn't really know. Basically interacting with other human beings was a sensitive subject for me.

I knew there was a football game at the school this Friday, and I didn't really go to those types of things, mainly because that was the hub of interacting and bonding with people at your school over something you all had in common whether you liked it or not, which was; football

Or a common enemy; which would of course be the other team playing

It also wouldn't come as a surprise that Amanda thrived at these games; I'd seen her live in action. It would happen like this; I'd go with her to a game we'd get some snacks, find a seat, along the way Amanda would make new friends, maybe invite them to sit with us, maybe she would go with them, then somewhere along the night Amanda would look at me expectantly, basically asking some unspoken permission where she would rightfully do her duty as the best friend to ask me if I'd be okay with whatever was happening at the time

And id nod because I knew Amanda, and I knew she wanted me to be okay with this

Which I would be if Amanda would leave me alone, and I'd be fine sitting alone watching the game, minding my own business eating my snacks not having to share with anyone , - but this never happened

Because Amanda never let it happen, if she found new people at a game, she'd insist on dragging me along, even if I really didn't want to

I know she meant well, because if roles were reversed she'd want me to do the same for her. But I didn't want that.

I remember a while back stumbling upon one of my mother's many; ''how to save your marriage books'' – and I don't know what it was, if it was a guilty pleasure of mom's but she had a lot of these, anyway circling back to my point; I read something in there, it read; ''don't love someone the way you want to be loved, love them the way they want to be loved'' – I didn't really get it then, but it grew on me like a plague, what was basically meant by that, your definition of love was different to the next person, like if you liked fashion and your husband liked fishing, did you buy him a pair of Louis Vuitton heels as opposed to a fishing rod

Same concept with Amanda and me, our friendship was mainly her dancing to her own music, and me going along with it

I could go to this game, and just go alone, get my own snacks, sit on my own, plus I knew there'd be more than enough people around for the 'girl sitting alone' to go unnoticed

So I went to the game like I said I would, then sat down by the emptiest row I could find- like a looser, like everyone knew I would.

I spotted Amanda as the game was starting but I avoided her gaze, because then she would either wave me over or, - worse sit by me, and that was not why I had come to this match.

Yes I admit, this wasn't the ideal place for me to be, but I wasn't exactly popular, which meant I hadn't that many options. There was always the alternative; go to a diner, order something, loiter for a while there, then finally go home when it was nearly closing time. - But that sounded like the morbid-est. thing ever.

Even more morbid than going to a high school football game alone

Beggars can't be choosers.

So I clapped lamely when everyone else cheered, and munched away on popcorn like my life depended on it. And when I got up, it was to go to the toilet, and get a popcorn refill.

Standing in the line, I shuffled my feet back and forth, not really looking up, only to move forward in the line. Two more people before it were my turn; I spotted a tall skinny figure far out in the distance, I squinted my eyes into the night, trying to get a better look.

Just behind the stands the figure appeared to be standing, I focused on the shadow and saw that he/she wasn't alone. I made out two more figures, - they appeared broader than the first one, but I couldn't really make out the shape to differentiate whether they were girls or guys.

I watched them, the tall one handing something over to the others, and then them handing something back, so fast and sneaky, I barely caught it. - I was interrupted from my new found entertainment, -When the guy behind the counter asked if I wanted something.

I gave him my popcorn holder

''Refill?'' he asked barely looking up from the cash register

'' Slushie as well'' I said whilst raiding my pocket for money. When I looked up I caught two wannabe jocks walk past the stand, the one whose name was I think: Ethan folded something in his jacket, right before I saw someone who I didn't expect to be at a high school football match.

He leaned against the side of the stall, I saw him, and he probably spotted me as well, because he smirked.

Stupid smirk

As if he were mocking me for something stupid that I'd done - I just didn't know what that dumb thing was yet.

The guy behind the table handed me my stuff, I thanked him and handed him the money, - the whole time feeling this set of eyes on me the entire time, never wavering

Was he going to say something? Or was he going to stare at the side of my head?

''Fancy seeing you here''

Well will you look at that, he decided to talk after all

I nodded my thanks at the guy who handed me my change, folded it in my pocket and stepped out of line, which was now closer to Finn.

''I could say the same for you'' I replied half heartedly

He shrugged, folding his hands in his pocket, standing next to him I was aware of how tall he was.

His height reminding me of ........ I turned to look at the figures that had been standing there before I had moved in the line, Surprised to see them gone now.

Finn saw me do this, and his brow furrowed in question

''Looking for someone?'' he asked in what seemed like an attempt of nonchalance.

''No, uh... I just saw people standing there like a few moments ago''

''Where?'' he asked

I huffed out a breath pointing in the direction to where they had stood only moments ago; Finn's gaze followed my finger, squinting through the dark.

Just watching him scan the area - only then had it dawned on me; what if it had been Finn that had been standing there?

Why else was he so interested?

Plus the appearance description matched Finn's body type: tall, thin and lean.

I pieced the rest together, it wasn't that hard to. I mean yeah, I heard the word on the street: that he was a dealer.

I nodded my head slowly before finally deciding to speak. ''I didn't know you supplied kids from our school'' I stated - Sure It was a wild guess, but my gut had me convinced otherwise.

He was quiet at first maybe even a bit confused, but then I could almost see the springs working in his head.

''Oh, yeah'' he said a bit hesitant

Confirming everything

I paused for a moment.

''So you like a pro- dealer, huh?'' I asked, somehow finding this quite amusing

''What should I call you? I carried on - ''Mr Leaf? The coke bloke? - ''

''Daddy '' He interjected blatantly

''Oh god! '' I exclaimed palming my face, I couldn't stop the grin that crept into my face after

God, he was gross

He chuckled heartily at my response.

We fell into a slow pace, walking side by side.

He took out a cigarette and put in-between his lips, he offered, I declined.

He smirked

''What?'' I Retorted noticing his smirk was somehow directed at me

''Nothing'' He answered, smiling sideways, almost out of my view.

Shithead

''you don't get to do that, look like you're about to say something, and then not say it''

I folded my arms across my chest, - almost offended.

''Nah I wasn't going to say anything'' he responded

I wasn't going to push

''Sure'' I retorted, shuffling my feet again

I saw Finn's feet move closer to mine closing the little distance in-between us, so I moved away from him, and looked up at him questionably

He was being weird, more weird than normal

Quickly he glanced away, but I saw the devilish grin on his face

''Haven't seen you around lately'' Finn said, taking a drag

I frowned at him, what did he expect to see me now?

'' I've been around'' I said nonchalantly

He nodded slowly, then took another deep drag from the cigarette.

Also I hadn't really noticed till then that people who walked by were staring, girls shooting dirty looks, guys puffing up their chests as if they were jungle animal's ready to pounce and fight.

''I know you have a tendency to have sex with a lot of girls but why do the guys seem to hate you that much? You not much competition'' I stated humorously, briefly skimming over his appearance with my eyes, up and down in mock distaste

He squinted at me amused, his eyes glistening

''You know everyone wants to either be me or be with me, I can't help it,'' he answered smugly

''Oh my god!'' I exclaimed laughter threateningly close ''and the winner for biggest ego goes to Finn''

Now he smiled.

Some girls were talking to each other in hushed voices, their eyes following me as I walked past them.

I mean I could've literally had asked Finn for the time, and they would still be talking and gossiping as if I'd given him a blow job in the boys locker room. It was quite annoying.

''Is it like this wherever you go?'' I asked my voice barely audible

He shrugged, not really knowing how to answer that I assume

''Like who doesn't know you?''

Besides Amanda I thought

He looked at me, and lifted his arm, as if he were going to put his arm around me, I predicted this move, and swatted his hand away, I did not want to make the situation worse.

Finn grinned devilishly

''wanna get out of here?'' he asked

I squinted at him, surprised at his sudden question

''Uh - No'' I stated, turning to face him, just to see if he was joking

He wasn't

I turned and looked at all the faces staring

Finn noticed this

''Screw them'' he whispered in my ear, his body and mouth quite close, completely violating my personal space bubble, I could practically almost feel his lips on my ear.

I shivered. - not the sensual sexual kind, more like a shiver due to the fact that I was ticklish in that area and that it kind of felt intimate.

I know it was nothing, and that I was most definitely overreacting, but I couldn't get it out of my head.

I planted my hand on his chest and pushed him back slowly, Giving him the 'nuh-uh don't do that' - look

Yes, we weren't exactly friends but we weren't enemies either, but that didn't mean he got to whisper things in my ear

After I let the whisper- thing go I thought about the fact that he had just full front on asked me to go someplace with him, which meant that he thought of me somewhat familiar. I mean you didn't just ask random strangers to get in your car and go somewhere with you.

This was concerning.

I needed to put a stop to whatever this was

''Uh, No. not screw them, '' - I thought carefully about what I was to say next

This was my chance

- ''well this was fun '' I began awkwardly

God I'm such a looser

- ''well how about you go your separate way and I'll go mine'' I said smiling probably far too brightly, slowly walking away from him.

I held my breath

Please don't follow me, please don't follow me

I watched him watch me, walk away, his eyes danced in the dark

I didn't trust that, but it had to do for now

I swear I saw him wink at me, before he was completely out of my eyes sight range.