"May you have a successful and safe journey." Her father-in-law blessed her. He took a pinch of vermillion in his thumb and rubbed it between his forefinger and applied it on her forehead muttering 'Chiranjeevi bhava'. Meenakshi bowed forward and touched his feet seeking his blessings and stood up. Her eyes fell on her husband, who was standing behind him, still looking angry and pissed. She walked towards him and took his palm between hers, but Aditya quickly pulled his hand and folded it in front of his chest.
"Vikram." Meenakshi helplessly muttered, hurt evident in her eyes. Vikram instantly regretted doing so and opened his mouth to talk but Meenakshi spoke first. He wanted to tell her a lot, but all that remained now was the distance that had failed to reduce and it was all his fault. "Bye." She muttered and turned around and left, leaving Vikram to stare at her retreating figure.
Flashback:
"Aditya, I want to talk to you." Meenakshi spoke as he entered the room. Aditya visibly sighed and stood still, but did not face her. Meenakshi walked towards him and stood in front of him. "You do not tell me why you are so adamant about going. Why shouldn't I go?" She asked, trying her best not to get angry.
"I am telling you something, is it too hard to listen?" Aditya retorted back.
"Listen? Aditya, you are not even allowing a discussion, is this what you want? Do you want me to obey you, listen to you and not express myself?"
"What would happen if I asked you to listen to me? Have I ever questioned anything that you have ever told me? Have I not done everything you wanted and wished like an obedient husband? Then, for once can't you return the favor?" He asked.
"Allâall this time, you have never wanted to do anything? Youâyou never liked me doing something? I never asked you to follow my orders, I was always up to discuss things, what makes you think that I want you to always listen to me. Aditya, Iâ Aditya, if you had ever felt wrong about something, I am sure you would have stopped me."
"Oh, that means you are never wrong, because I have never stopped you for once."
"Aditya, that's not what this is." Meenakshi took a deep breath as things came crashing over her. "Am I burdening you?" She asked, her voice dropping a few octaves. Aditya opened his mouth to speak but then shut it close. Before he could speak anything, his silence spoke for him and Meenakshi left the room.
She walked straight to her father-in-law's chambers and announced her presence. Upon being invited in, she sat on the diwan in front of him and spoke. "Paa, I âI want to go on a tour Paa. I wish to see the world around me and find my calling. I âI hope Aditya told you that I cannot conceive and that we may need to find an heir and adopt. Maybe this trip will bring me more clarity and we can do that when I come back."
"What happened dear? Why are you stammering? My bold confident girl seems dull today." He spoke, bedding forward to see her clearly. Meenakshi hung her head low and shook her head slowly in denial.
"Nothing Paa." She muttered.
"No dear, something has happened, otherwise, you would not be so gloomy. Come on, tell me." He insisted. Meenakshi sniffed trying to keep her tears at bay. She looked up and faced him.
"Will I have your blessings Paa?" She asked, her eyes teary.
"You will always have my blessings." He blessed her heartily and she gracefully accepted his blessings.
"Then I shall begin on the Amavasya of this month Paa, in about 3 weeks." Saying so, she left his chambers and went back to hers.
Flashback ends.
From then on Meenakshi made sure to keep a safe distance between them. She finished her tasks early and did not get involved in too many things. She made sure that she did not voice out any concerns or opinions when asked in the sabha, about a law or decision taken by Aditya. She silently agreed even when her mind refused to acknowledge the underlying loopholes. Aditya tried his best to make up for her, but he felt that Meenakshi was too far away from him. She slept early and woke up early. She isolated herself from him even though they had three meals together. Every time Aditya tried to talk, she would only respond in a few words and leave things at it. She did not question things curiously or answer him back like she used to. Aditya had already realized the gravity of his silence, but now it was her silence that was beginning to eat him up.
Meenakshi had decided to travel alone, without a troop or even a handful of soldiers. She had packed a few saffron sarees for herself, since she was not allowed to wear white and a handful of snacks that her father-in-law had insisted on taking with her. She had decided to ride alone and ditch any sort of help. She was confident that she would manage well. Aditya wanted to talk her out of it, but he failed to talk to her at all.
Meenakshi embarked on her journey stopping at the Rudra temple first. She prayed for the happiness, health and safety of Aditya, then for her father-in-law and finally for her parents and brother. She finally prayed that this mission that she had taken upon herself be successful and she would find the purpose at the end of it.
She had carried scrolls and manuscripts with her along with a pot of ink and a few quills. She wanted to write and record whatever she saw and learnt and on top of everything, she wanted to write to her Vikram. This was a long and tiring distance between them and she wanted to do her best to minimize this distance.
'Dear Vikram,
I am now residing in the janmabhoomi of Prabu Shri Ram, The city of Kosala. It is about 3 days away from our kingdom, and the journey is also pretty safe and comfortable. The place boasts the pride of the lord's birth through songs, poems and temples. People here are welcoming and friendly and believe that every person who has entered this land is a form of the lord and is treated with utmost care and respect. There is also very minimal difference between the jobs of men and women. Both are actively engaged in fields as well as in temples. There is no work meant for a man or one for a woman.
That was a fantastic view of humanity for me Vikram. We still ensure that women are reserved and always secure, but I think we can get them further out into society. Probably give them places in panchayats and our courts, offer more duties and responsibilities in the kingdom as per their wishes. I wish we had thought about such things earlier.
I am not sure if you are still angry with me, but I am afraid to keep the fact concealed that I miss you. But, I shall not keep you distracted any longer. Write back Vikram.
Your Wife
Meenakshi'
She sent out letters almost every week like this, sending him snippets of whatever she learnt and saw as well as her thoughts and views on different things. This was one another letter like that.
'Dear Vikram,
Your letters keep you close to me during the nights I dream of us. I hope Paa is fine as well. I am in a kingdom called Dwaraka, the city under water. The main features and buildings that were believed to be of Lord Krishna's are all swallowed by the sea that guards the city while there is land that has risen over the years.
Again, this is another city where the presence of the lord finds me intriguing. The city is left in its own free will to grow and develop believing that it is the will of the lord to do whatever he pleases with his kingdoms. People here have different currencies and denominations and they use another material called bronze, which seems to be a mixture of two other metals. There are also different types of currencies to bring in more travelers and tourists and provide livelihood.
How fascinating is that Vikram! The people here have learnt to live a life around whatever is available and accept whatever comes their way. I had even asked a citizen if they do something to help themselves in case of a calamity or an emergency, but he just responded saying its God's will to test them and they shall only accept it with grace. I am not sure if we are so courageous but I liked the first ideas better.
How are you Vikram? I do hope you miss me because I do a lot. I am glad that this tour is almost coming to an end soon.
Your Wife
Meenakshi.'
As she had mentioned, Meenakshi was on the last leg of her journey. True to her mission, she did find herself as a part of the journey. She made peace with herself and gave herself a necessary closure. She found herself humbled by small things even though she took no pride in herself for anything. She found calmness inside her, making her smile even in the chaotic places. Her last stop was to Kashi, the city of her Lord, home to Lord Rudra.
'Dear Vikram,
I think I found a place I can call home apart from you. Kashi. The wind here itself whispers the name of the lord as it blows. Situated on the banks of the mighty Ganga, Kashi is a home to a devotee of Rudra. If life ever gives us a chance, I want us to visit this place together and take the blessings of the Lord. The city is a perfect example to be living in a trance, trance of Lord Rudra.
I don't think words can ever tell what I feel here, but I believe this is one place that everyone must visit at least once in their lifetimes. I plan to stay here for a few more days and then end this tour and come back to you.
Your Wife
Meenakshi.'
**********
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