CH 59

their argument was so loud that xiaotong downstairs could faintly hear it. feeling uneasy, she couldn’t help but come up to check.

“what’s going on?” xiaotong stood in the middle of the staircase on the second floor, holding onto the handrail as she looked up at the two of them. “are you two fighting?”

due to his upbringing ji yao never vented his anger at his elders. he took a deep breath and managed to force a smile as he replied, “it’s nothing, auntie. just had a little disagreement.”

xiaotong glanced at their expressions, didn’t say anything, and quickly defused the situation by suggesting, “well then, let’s go downstairs for dinner.”

ji yao nodded, not wanting to argue further with jiang heng in front of xiaotong. so, he said, “shall we go down?”

after their recent argument, jiang heng was afraid that ji yao would feel uncomfortable facing him in front of xiaotong, so he shook his head and made up an excuse about having some work to do, allowing ji yao to go downstairs first.

ji yao furrowed his brows and was about to say something when xiaotong swiftly interrupted him.

“he’s busy, let it go. come on, ji yao, let’s go downstairs,” xiaotong said. “i just made some golden shrimp balls. would you like to taste one?”

their house was constructed with soundproof bricks, so ji yao wasn’t sure if xiaotong had heard the specifics of their argument. he didn’t want to push it, so he obediently followed xiaotong downstairs.

the dining table on the first floor was already set with a mix of chinese and western dishes: steak with braised chicken, looking messy but somehow harmonious, reflecting xiaotong’s style.

xiaotong pulled ji yao to a seat and then picked up a golden shrimp ball from a plate and handed it to him.

ji yao picked up his chopsticks and hesitated for a moment before setting them down. he couldn’t eat, and his mood wasn’t great. he sighed lightly and apologized, “i’m sorry, auntie.”

regardless of the circumstances, ji yao and jiang heng could settle their disputes privately, but he knew it wasn’t right to argue with jiang heng in front of his mom.

“it’s okay,” xiaotong said quietly, watching him. finally, she said, “actually, i can tell that you and xiao heng are not a couple, right?”

ji yao was taken aback, wondering where he had slipped up. had she heard their argument because it was so loud? ji yao thought.

seemingly aware of what he was thinking, xiaotong smiled faintly and said, “i’ve known for a long time. xiao heng is my child, and i know him well. your interactions are very compatible, but also distant. i guess you broke up, didn’t you?”

ji yao: “…”

at this moment, ji yao finally realized that there was a reason why jiang heng had grown into the person he was today.

normally, xiaotong appeared carefree and unpredictable, doing things on a whim, but her eyes were bright, and in just a few words, she revealed jiang heng’s character.

“yes…” ji yao could only admit, “i’m sorry, auntie, i shouldn’t have lied to you.”

“it’s okay,” xiaotong shook her head. she picked up a shrimp, removed the shell, and placed it on ji yao’s plate. she spoke gently, “but why did you?”

discussing such topics in front of an elder was obviously uncomfortable, but for some reason, ji yao, looking at xiaotong’s expression, inexplicably confessed.

he wasn’t good at talking about his own love experiences and stumbled through his story, including how he and jiang heng had met, their dating history, and their breakup.

xiaotong listened attentively at first, but when ji yao mentioned the “caught him in bed with another person” part, she subtly furrowed her brows.

“ji yao,” xiaotong paused and said seriously, “i’m xiao heng’s mother, and you might think i’d be biased towards him, defending him.”

“auntie, that’s not what i….,” ji yao quickly said.

xiaotong shook her head and patted his hand, signaling him to calm down. “it’s a natural reaction, whether you believe it or not. but i want to be fair with you. based on what i know about xiao heng, he would never do something like that.”

“auntie,” ji yao said, feeling like he was complaining about jiang heng in front of his own mother. he quickly added, “actually, at that time, he thought we had broken up—finding someone else after a breakup is normal. looking back, i don’t think it qualifies as cheating.”

ji yao had long been able to view this incident objectively, but xiaotong shook her head, maintaining her strong stance.

“that wouldn’t happen either,” xiaotong said. “considering xiaoheng’s personality, if you hadn’t come back that day, he wouldn’t have done anything with someone else. when he calmed down, his first move would have been to find you and break up.”

ji yao was genuinely puzzled this time. after spending time with xiaotong, he had come to understand her better. she wasn’t someone who blurred the lines between right and wrong, and she rarely made such definitive statements unless she was truly sure of the situation.

but how could xiaotong be so confident when even jiang heng couldn’t explain the situation himself?

“why?” ji yao couldn’t help but ask.

“because of his father,” xiaotong said.

jiang heng’s father seemed like an absent figure in his life. if it weren’t for xiaotong bringing it up, ji yao might have forgotten that jiang heng even had a father.

“i and xiaoheng’s father were a young couple who started from scratch together,” xiaotong said. “but unfortunately, my judgment was poor, and i chose the wrong person.”

jiang heng’s father, jiang yi, was a poor young man with an average education when xiaotong met him. they fell in love quickly, and despite her father’s objections, xiaotong insisted on marrying him.

in the first few years of their marriage, they struggled financially, but xiaotong had a broad perspective, and jiang yi was clever. they quickly caught the wave of the times and started their own business.

when jiang heng was five years old, the jiang family’s business had stabilized and was flourishing. but around the same time, jiang yi began to grow dissatisfied with his monotonous family life with xiaotong, starting to engage in extramarital affairs.

initially, he had an affair with his female secretary, and later, he became more reckless, even engaging in prostitution. several years later, xiaotong caught him red-handed once.

xiaotong was a proud woman at heart. she didn’t want to handle her husband’s infidelity like other women by causing a scene and fighting for her husband’s attention. instead, she chose to ignore jiang yi, focusing on her career and paying him no mind.

in response, jiang yi escalated his behavior, bringing different women home in front of jiang heng.

at that time, jiang heng was still very young, just starting primary school. initially, he had sternly criticized jiang yi’s behavior, but after jiang yi drunkenly beat him a couple of times and realized that xiaotong didn’t care, he gradually stopped speaking out and silently watched from the sidelines.

“he resents his father deeply,” xiaotong said softly. “ji yao, in fact, xiaoheng was a very mature child. while other kids dreamed of becoming astronauts and scientists, he wanted to study law. do you know why?”

this story was somewhat heavy, and ji yao’s mood worsened. emotionally, he found it difficult to link the weak and helpless child described by xiao tong with the present jiang heng. but rationally, he knew it was all true.

“why?” ji yao asked.

“it was for my sake,” xiaotong’s eyes grew a bit teary. she let go of ji yao’s hand, averted her gaze, and stared at the silver candlestick on the dining table. “he said at that time that everything was wrong, that his father didn’t deserve forgiveness. so, when he grew up, he wanted to seek justice for me.”

ji yao suddenly remembered li linghua, the woman betrayed and hurt by her partner. he wondered if during that case, jiang heng ever thought about himself.

“how old was he then?” ji yao asked.

“fifth grade of elementary school,” xiaotong said.

fifth grade of elementary school meant he was around ten years old, ji yao thought. a child that young, witnessing his own father bringing different women home every day, engaging in various activities in front of him at home—what could he possibly have felt?

his mother refused to come home because of his father’s outrageous behavior, so he was left alone at home, facing an empty house or a father who behaved immorally in various corners of their home.

“what was jiang heng thinking at that time?” ji yao wondered.

“he was angry, resentful, and felt that everything was wrong,” xiaotong said. “but he also felt powerless. no one helped him, and no one listened to him. so, he could only hope for the future, hoping that he could grow up to be a strong and just person.”

in fact, jiang heng had achieved that.

“so, he wouldn’t do that,” xiaotong said softly. “ji yao, believe me. i’m not making excuses for him, but this is truly a shadow that will stay with him for a lifetime. even if he wanted to do something like that, he couldn’t—because it would disgust him, and it would remind him of his father.”

ji yao believed xiaotong. she wouldn’t fabricate such a story to defend jiang heng’s image in front of him.

ji yao himself had experienced pain, so he didn’t view it as an excuse. he knew well what it felt like to have limited choices in life—everything a person did was shaped by their character and circumstances. many things, when faced with them, were not a matter of free will, and many actions were made “in the heat of the moment.”

for ji yao, he rationally understood that when jiang heng found someone else, he had already assumed they had broken up and it was over. but emotionally, he still remembered the feeling when he entered with the cake that day.

now, xiaotong provided him with another perspective of the truth. ji yao should have been happy, but when he thought about the underlying reasons, he couldn’t find solace.

why didn’t jiang heng speak for himself? ji yao suddenly wondered. why didn’t jiang heng ever speak up?

“actually, over these years, i’ve been feeling guilty,” xiaotong said. “i haven’t been a good mother to him. i haven’t shouldered much responsibility, and if i count it carefully, he’s worried more about me.”

xiaotong’s eyes welled up with tears, and her voice choked up slightly. it was evident that she had been holding this statement inside her for a long time, only now finding the courage to say it.

“no…no, no, no,” ji yao saw her like this, and he felt a bit panicked. he temporarily put aside his own thoughts and hastily grabbed two napkins to give her.

“he…he doesn’t think that way,” ji yao insisted. “not long ago, he told me a lot of fun stories about you. he even said that when he was eight years old on his birthday, you accidentally dropped his chocolate cake. he definitely thought that the time he spent with you was joyful. otherwise, how could he remember things from so early?”

ji yao had initially wanted to comfort xiaotong, but it had the opposite effect. xiaotong seemed even more distressed.

“but… that was the only birthday i spent with him,” xiaotong said.