âHmm?â Jiang Heng raised an eyebrow, smirking as he asked, âpractice and pretend boyfriend, do those two words have the same meaning?â
Ji Yao also realized that playing word games with a lawyer was a bit demeaning, so he chuckled without saying anything. He simply moved a bit closer to Jiang Heng, lightly touching his hand.
While Jiang Heng didnât spare any words in exposing Ji Yaoâs little intentions, he still didnât avoid them.
His hand rested on the old railing, chilled by the night breeze, and Ji Yaoâs body temperature was slightly higher than his, which became even more noticeable in the biting cold.
He allowed Ji Yao to get closer and even turned slightly to the side, tilting his head down to look at him.
Ji Yao knew that this was his approval, so he slowly took a step forward, reaching his hand around Jiang Hengâs waist, and lightly embraced him.
He held him carefully, not using much strength at all. It wasnât so much an âembraceâ as it was an encircling of Jiang Heng, a social distancing that could be withdrawn from at any moment.
Jiang Hengâs hand gripping the railing tightened slightly, as if he wanted to lift his hand to hug Ji Yao back, but for some reason, he restrained himself.
Ji Yao took a deep breath, the cool and slightly bitter aroma of tobacco filtering into his nostrils and then settling as a long exhale, filled with years of memories.
Familiar, Ji Yao thought, yet also unfamiliar.
Jiang Heng had lost a bit of weight compared to a few years ago, but he stood straight, his back taut. Ji Yaoâs hand, separated by a thick coat, was on his back, making it seem like he was a bit nervous.
Just as he could recognize Jiang Heng by his back after three years, this embrace also left a lasting impression on him.
âWhat do you like about me?â Ji Yao suddenly asked.
His voice was soft, as if he was asking Jiang Heng, yet as if he was asking himself. This question seemed like a product of impulsive words triggered by alcohol, and it came from his mouth without warning.
But after saying it, Ji Yao didnât regret it.
Because he really didnât understand.
He had thought that, according to Jiang Hengâs personality, breaking up should be a clean-cut forgetting about this âtainted ex-boyfriend,â and searching to find a more suitable partner according to his preferences.
However, Jiang Heng hadnât. He hadnât found anyone else, and for three years, he hadnât even changed his bank card password.
Just as with Li Linghuaâs case, if Jiang Heng wanted revenge through the case, he would have and Ji Yao would feel wronged, feel indignant at most. But Jiang Heng hadnât done that. Not only did he help, but he also cleared Ji Yaoâs name in a splendid manner.
As a result, Ji Yao couldnât help feeling guilty and feeling somewhat inexplicably sad.
He felt as if he wasnât worth it, yet at the same time, he couldnât control the hidden joy welling up from his heart.
âThere are plenty of people who like you,â Ji Yao continued to hold the position of hugging, as if this distance allowed him to gather the courage to continue speaking, âThere should be many who are better than me.â
âTo be honest, thereâs no specific reason,â Jiang Heng said nonchalantly, âIf I had to pick just one, it would be the time when I was working overtime and came home to find you waiting on the couch, with a meal prepared.â
Ji Yao wasnât a very good partner in a relationship, and Jiang Heng had always known that.
He was cowardly, uneasy, burdened by family chains and commitment phobic. All these things indicated that he wasnât a suitable match, and anyone smart would have broken free early on.
But for Jiang Heng, Ji Yao had a unique, irreplaceable place.
The âlate-night incidentâ that Jiang Heng mentioned was something Ji Yao had forgotten long ago. He furrowed his brows, trying to recall the details in his memory, but he couldnât remember the specifics
However, Jiang Heng remembered it very clearly.
At that time, they had just moved in together for a few months. Winter was approaching in Beijing, and a strong cold snap had just hit the northern regions.
Jiang Heng had just started taking on more significant cases, and the first case he received was from legal aid. It was a complicated case, involving complex relationships among the parties, making it quite a mess.
He worked overtime until past ten at night before finally sorting out the case. On his way home, wrapped in a coat, he was nearly frozen into a living icicle by the cold wind.
The night was terribly cold, taxis were hard to find on the road, and by the time Jiang Heng got home, it was close to midnight. Afraid of waking Ji Yao, he didnât even dare to use the keypad lock. He opened the door gently with a spare key.
But as soon as he pushed the door open, a warm glow spilled out through the crack, falling on his feet.
The warm light from the ceiling of the living room was on. Ji Yao was resting on the couch, lazily holding a tablet and reading materials. He was clearly tired with the tablet almost tilting into the gap between the couch cushions.
The noise from opening the door startled Ji Yao, and he rolled over to sit up, rubbing his eyes. He asked, âWhy did you come back this late?â
âI was working Overtime,â Jiang Heng said. âWhy arenât you sleeping?â
âWaiting for you,â Ji Yao said casually. He pulled the tablet out from between the couch cushions, ruffled his hair absentmindedly, and gestured to the nearby dining area. âHave you eaten? The food is warming in the steamer. If you havenât eaten, grab yourself some chopsticks.â
He was obviously quite tired, his eyes were fighting to stay open, and his voice was accompanied by a strong nasal sound.
Ji Yao had turned on the air conditioning. The moist warmth in the room met Jiang Heng, enveloping him, drawing him from the icy winter into a warm nest.
With his fingertips holding the key, Jiang Heng stood at the threshold of light and shadow, gazing at Ji Yao in his pajamas. In that instant, Jiang Heng suddenly realized that these were the things he wanted, thatâs all.
Perhaps Ji Yao himself hadnât realized. Despite his fear of commitment, subconsciously, he was building a home for both of them.
For Jiang Heng, that day was an important turning point for him to truly envision the future. But for Ji Yao, it was just an ordinary day. He didnât know what kind of changes he had brought to Jiang Heng, so his memory of that day was extremely faint.
He had racked his brain, but he hadnât figured out the specifics of what, when, and how. Yet, Jiang Heng didnât seem inclined to explain any further.
Jiang Heng looked at Ji Yao silently, not saying anything.
After a moment, he gently pressed Ji Yaoâs lips with his thumb, then lowered his head slightly and placed a kiss on his own fingertip.
He didnât give Ji Yao an answer, but he gave him a kiss separated by warmth.