CH 12

Oh My Love, The Last.

After meeting Kang Taejung ‘s ex-lover, Seo Youngwoo thrashed his own heart by recalling Ha Joyoon’s face as days went by and hurt himself by comparing himself to him on a scale of one to ten. Despite knowing that it was nothing but an irrational conviction, he was unable to calm his mind.

“Why did that person have to come back alive and make everything difficult for me?”

When he hadn’t seen him at all, he treated him with an open mind because he didn’t associate a sense of reality with him, as if he were an imaginary person. But after meeting him, he was unable to rationally control his emotions or thoughts.

“If he had just disappeared, he would’ve remained as a mere memory in Hyung’s mind. Why did you come back and shake up my Hyung like this?”

“Hey… Youngwoo-ya….”

“Well, these kinds of thoughts?”

He smiled awkwardly and covered his cheek. Trashy thoughts, aren’t they? Park Sungjae could not easily answer the question and hesitated. As if understanding his reaction, Seo Youngwoo swallowed his dry saliva and shifted his gaze. Park Sungjae, who had a rather stiff expression on his face, continued to talk to ease the atmosphere as he slowly sorted out the liquor bottles.

“You can have thoughts like that. What are you so depressed about?”

“… I’m not weird, am I?”

“Of course not, punk. You’re no saint. You think it’s not okay to think like that about the clingy bastard of an ex? Ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends who can’t get a grasp of reality are the worst.”

Because of his easy-going nature, criticizing someone together with him was not too much of a big deal but he was still not at ease. Sungjae hyung- A savior-like cry in the hall interrupted the conversation.

“Wait a sec.”

Park Sungjae, who quickly received the order, shook the shaker again by mixing alcohol and drinks into a new cocktail.

“Yeah, so coming back to you.”

Park Sungjae, who was skillfully pouring alcohol into a glass, spoke again. Damp eyes moved along.

“Isn’t it because you started off wrong with that guy, that you’re this anxious?”

“…….”

“Doesn’t that make you feel insecure because it keeps bothering you?”

As the conversation continued, the water level rose over his face. Seo Youngwoo, who lowered his forehead to the point of almost touching the bar, sighed deeply. The eyes, lost in thought, slowly traced to the time of the past.

When he first met Kang Taejung, the first successful call, the moment he fell in love, the time he spent hanging around him under the pretext of being his junior, the spring when he confessed and was rejected, the drinking party they had together, and the hard-earned opportunity, the deception….

“I was too desperate at the time.”

Seo Youngwoo, who muttered as if making excuses, buried his head in his arms. Park Sungjae, who was looking at him, felt just as uncomfortable.

“I know it, too. I shouldn’t have lied to him like that… it’s just that, at the time… I couldn’t think of anything else.”

Deep unhidden regret and remorse were oozing out in the hand that slowly ruffled his hair. Park Sungjae, who had been taking a break for a while, quietly expressed his opinion.

“Pa’v yf yfaafg lo sbe tbcfrais afii tlw cbk….”

“Rb kjs!”

Seo Youngwoo shook his head quickly with a strong cry. No way. Absolutely not. In a sobbing whisper, Seo Youngwoo wiped his cheeks with one hand. The hands covering his face were trembling.

“Lf’ii ygfjx eq klat wf.”

“…….”

“Xlnfc Kjfpecu tsecu’r qfgrbcjilas, tf’ii regfis ygfjx eq klat wf bcmf tf olcvr bea atf ageat.”

No way, no way. The murmuring voice fluctuated like a river on the verge of flooding with sadness and despair.

“Gb sbe xcbk tbk P uba remt j mtjcmf? Ktfgf’r jyrbieafis cb kjs. Vecupjf, qifjrf… qifjrf vbc’a rjs atja. Qf’gf ribkis olcvlcu rajylilas lc beg gfijalbcrtlq cbk… kf’gf atlcxlcu jybea fjmt batfg.”

“Youngwoo-ya….”

“I really love him.”

Park Sungjae sighed and eventually gave up on persuasion at the earnest tone that even showed urgency.

Seo Youngwoo, who forced his staggering body to stand up, stared at the exit of the club with wet eyes. The film of memory is put into the projector and played back in a gloomy light. The film was a month ago, two months ago… And it didn’t stop until it went back to that night. Just like today, it was colorful and noisy due to the crowd, but it was a lonely and melancholy night.

‘I really… Ha Joyoon….’

‘Hyung, hyung, please come back to your senses….’

‘I miss that punk so much….’

‘Hyung, please wake up. Stop drinking… let’s leave together. Yeah? Taejung hyung….’

The corners of his lips were pulled tight as he tried to recollect past memories. He bit his lip so hard that it turned red so much so to the point that it actually looked like it was bleeding. Even the wet corners of his eyes were frozen cold with the will to protect his love. The feeling that the old love could never be taken away further fueled Seo Youngwoo’s anxiety, although it was as if it were on a subconscious level.

“… I truly detest that person.”

“Hey, dude.”

The hand holding the glass gradually became tense. The object of hatred towards which his trembling fingertips were directed was not present here.

“I hate him so much that I can’t stand it. What the hell was he thinking? If he has a conscience then he shouldn’t have acted like that”

“Youngwoo-ya.”

“If he had really died… it would’ve been better if he had died there instead. I keep thinking like this….”

“…….”

“I hate it so much. I hate it when I have thoughts like this… Sungjae-ya… I thought I was a decent human being, but these days I feel like I’m becoming awful….”

A simple mind wandered outside the world in the spirit of alcohol. Vague laughter spread out of nowhere. Park Sungjae’s hand gestures to stop him also lost their purpose in the air and stopped. Seo Youngwoo, who sloppily stole the fragments of such falling emotions, emptied the remaining glass at once and slowly raised himself to stand up.

“I’ll get going.”

“Come on, it’s fine, you… don’t seem to be doing well.”

Seo Youngwoo, out of concern for his close friend, waved his hand with a forced smile.

“It’s okay. I came here for nothing plus I’m just getting in the way of your work.”

Park Sungjae was well aware of why Seo Youngwoo had come to him. He must have wanted to share with him a little bit of a secret he couldn’t tell anyone else. He felt sorry for his friend who was standing on a road where the withdrawal route was blocked.

“It’s not like that, so just wait a bit. If you stay a little longer, it’ll be party time soon, so everyone will go to the stage and let themselves loose, so we can….”

“No, I’ll just go. I think it’ll be better if I go home straight. I’ll probably end up making a mistake if I stay here longer.”

Seo Youngwoo took a staggering step, gently slapping away the restraining hand. He then took out his phone from his bag and pressed the LCD screen to make a phone call but, Seo Youngwoo was drunk and had no idea that it was not going through after trying a few times, and soon let out an irritated groan and hurried back. Park Sungjae’s eyes, looking at him, also darkened as he looked at his precarious back towards the door.

“Youngwoo-ya!”

“Sorry about today. I’ll come with Taejung hyung next time.”

Without looking back despite the concerned call, Seo Youngwoo left the club again. As he opened the door, the warm air touched his skin. In the dark night sky, not even a single star could be seen. It was a long night that seemed to fall into the abyss the more he struggled to protect his love.

***

The second office he visited looked completely opposite as if the gloomy atmosphere of the previous day had been a dream. This was the current case as the office was so crowded that people were rushing to and from the lobby, and adding to that were the cries that made the entire floor noisy. Most of the voices of foreigners and Koreans, regardless of the difference between them, contained a sense of urgency, which indirectly informed him of the current situation.

“Are you leaving right now?”

“We have to leave right away!”

“Lee arrived at the Seoul District Prosecutors’ Office first. I’ll stop by the government branch office of the eastern part.”

“Please throw me a notebook!”

All kinds of voices were mixed together to the point that it was impossible to even tell which one belonged to whom. In the midst of the war for the parties involved, Ha Joyoon stood still and followed their tracks with the eyes of that perfect extra in the background.

Bump-

“Ack….”

“Ugh!”

The impact of a strong shoulder bumping into him made his body stagger for a moment. He was one of the employees who were busy roaming about. His shoulder had started to tingle with pain.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ve been so out of it lately… are you okay?”

“No, it’s my fault for standing in the middle of this place.”

“Regardless, I apologize. Oh, but what brings you here? Did you make a prior appointment?”

The man’s eyes were looking at the watch with a busy face as if he were on the way to go for coverage. He could easily infer that the time allotted to him was running out. Ha Joyoon, without thinking too much of it, immediately brought up the actual matter.

“I’m here to see Director Shin.”

The man’s eyes widened at the mention of Shin Kwonjoo.

“Yes… yes? Director, you say? Oh… what’s your name?”

“Ha Joyoon. Starting today….”

“Oh! Journalist Ha Joyoon-nim! I heard about it from the Director. Great timing, I was about to call you regarding the matter of when exactly you would be starting. Someone so handsome came so I was wondering if you had come to the wrong place for an interview.”

“Yes….”

When the name was revealed, the man’s face, which had been anxious about sorting out the schedule, had brightened up with joy. The way he grabbed both his hands and shook them up and down was quite friendly. Before Ha Joyoon could make sense of what was going on, his wrist was grabbed and pulled tightly by the man.

“We have to get out of here right now. Either way, I’m late.”

“Sorry? But….”

To Ha Joyoon’s hint of rejection, the man resolutely answered.

“The Director is also at the place of the scene. You do have a camera with you, right?”

His gaze turned to the bag on his shoulder. Ha Joyoon, unknowingly grabbed onto the strap of his bag and nodded as his body stiffened.

“Yes? Yes.”

“Then that’s all you need. Oh, put this one first. You have to go and get your pass.”

The man handed over his employee ID as he let out a brief request. There was an awkward print of a man with a sullen expression on his face on the small plastic card which was the size of the palm of his hand. It was only after taking a few looks at the employee ID with his face printed on it did Ha Joyoon realize the offer of Shin Kwonjoo. But even that was short-lived. The employee who hastily packed up the other things said in an urgent tone.

“As for the transportation, we’ll be going in my car.”

Once again, Ha Joyoon stumbled due to the force of the man’s grip on his wrist. The steps of the employee heading for the elevator, saying that they could not delay even for a moment, moved in a hurry. Ha Joyoon’s steps following him were also hasty and clumsy.

“We’re utterly late. All that’s left is for us to be dealt with by the Director. He’ll kill us.”

At the end of the man’s worn-out voice, a soft smile appeared on his stiff lips.

“Sunbae-nim is actually at the scene?”

“Yes, he’s not usually one to go out to the site, but he has a schedule there today, so… we have to go to the Blue House right now. I truly apologize, but we’ll exchange our greetings as we go. Let’s just leave now.”

The intermittent conversation with him ended completely. All that was left was to get to the scene on time. Ha Joyoon walked out of the lobby he had walked in a while ago, leaving behind the keyboard noises and the murmuring of people.