12. Rescue operation (7)

She done goofed. Gods, I feel bad for the poor guy.

The waiter stood still for a few more seconds, before finally coming to it, serving us the food clumsily, and running off.

I was hoping to see how she’d resolve the situation. I guess doing nothing at all and just letting it happen is a resolution of sorts as well. Really, I gotta learn from Lyrael. Her ‘sit back and do nothing’ skills are immaculate. My heart filled with admiration.

Unexpectedly, it was Dren who broke the silence as me and Lyrael were both busy stuffing our faces with food.

“Wow, I think I understand now. You two, you’re just horrible people, aren’t you?”

Simultaneously, both of us raised our heads from our plates and looked at each other. Huge smiles spread across our faces with obvious pride.

Lyrael spoke, seemingly already forgetting all about the waiter she emotionally destroyed a few seconds prior.

“Hehehe, to be recognized as a bad person by someone so great. I’m honored.”

“Mhm, mhm.”

I nodded several times, agreeing with her entirely.

“That wasn’t a compliment, you freaks.”

“Jeez, man. Stop showering me with praise so hard; I might start blushing.”

It was Lyrael’s turn to nod to my words.

Dren, meanwhile, looked utterly exasperated.

“Hah! Aight, so, jokes aside, we do actually still need to pay, huh? I have a plan B, though. Or is it C now? Uhh, that’s beside the point.”

The grin never left my face. In fact, I was excited to try out this other method. Never done it before, but it’s something I’ve always wanted to try.

“Don’t even... No, you wouldn’t listen to whatever I say either way, correct?”

“Your deduction skills have improved significantly, I must admit. Have you been hanging around a couple geniuses in recent times?”

“Shut the hell up, threadripper kid. Actually, I’m curious about something.”

“Hum? Go ahead and say it, then. I’m curious what you’re curious about.”

Giving him the go-ahead, I waited for him to speak. A few seconds passed in silence like that, interrupted only by the sound of a weird girl sitting next to me, ripping into her slab of boar meat aggressively.

“No, nevermind. I don’t think now’s a good time-”

“Don’t give me that now! Come on, spill the beans or whatever the youths say. Do you even know how curious your curiosity left me? Actually, I’ll grace you with a fun fact about myself - there’s nothing I hate more... Okay, that’s a lie... There’s barely anything I hate more than when people say some shit that gets me interested and then leave without answers. Terrible trope, I tell ya.”

“Trope? Are we talking about the same thing here? No, trying to understand what’s going on inside the head of a madman is a moot matter.”

By this point, my face was starting to ache from how much I was smiling.

Why’s he so good at glazing? If I ever become royalty, I’m hiring Dren as a personal attendant, no other way about it. Or would he do a tree job as a jester.

As I was having these ridiculous thoughts, he finally threw in the towel and asked his question.

“What I was curious about is, threadripper kid, Ori, how old you are really.”

Suddenly, Lyrael also straightened up and looked over in anticipation.

So she wants to know too. Oh well, this ain’t exactly something I’ve been trying to hide. May as well tell them.

“Let’s see... If I add up the forty years spent in the tribe and sixty in the forest, plus a decade with the ‘little prince’, my age should be around... A hundred and ten? Yeah, sounds about right.”

“!!!”

“Hoh?”

“Now, go stew on the implications and such for a bit. In the meantime, I’ll secure us a paypig - a friend, I meant.”

I strode off to a nearby table where a young couple sat before Lyrael and Dren had the chance to bombard me with a ton of questions.

Looks like they’re out on a date. The girl’s nervous; looks enthralled with the dude.

Sure, he’s handsome enough, but his clothing’s what matters to me. Naturally.

At the very least he comes from an affluent family. His skin’s damn near flawless - meaning that he has a real expensive skincare routine. So, it’s not a case of someone saving up for a nice outfit for a date. And he certainly isn’t a powerful warrior that’s gone through body rebirth or something along those lines. His smell is that of a regular human. Perfect, I can make this work.

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I shifted my smile to a friendly, pleasant one.

Before they even had time to react to my movement, I slipped into a seat by their table and greeted them.

“Yo!”

“Woah!”

***

Ilka was nervous. In front of her sat the man she’d always adored from the sidelines, the hero that saved her from the throes of death many years in the past - Rusk Fen.

A few days ago, she’d finally revealed her feelings for him, and asked him out on a date. To her shock, he also felt the same about her, and now here they were, dining together for the first time.

Aaah, I don’t know what I’m supposed to say in situations like this!

As a maid, she had no experience in relationships before, as work took priority above all else. And while Ilka took pride in her job, today she was faced with a harsh truth about the life of a workaholic.

They just finished making their orders. The man who took them was a bald, bulky waiter, but for some reason he looked extremely upset, like he was holding back tears. At least that was something to occupy her mind, but now that he’s left, she was faced with deafening silence.

No, this cannot go on. Let’s start with an ice breaker.

She clutched a fist under the table, determined to not let her first date be so awkward.

“Say, Rusk. Isn’t the weather lovely right now?”

She pointed up towards the sky and looked upwards, only to be met with a ceiling.

Suddenly embarrassed, her ears and cheeks burned red.

That was such a stupid thing to say!

Ilka felt like falling through the ground, while Rusk raised an eyebrow, a mischievous smile playing on his lips.

“Haha, don’t worry. You know, we’ve always talked a lot back when you were still my maid, so seeing you in an environment like this makes me nervous as well, even if I don’t show it.”

His deep voice soothed Ilka’s mind.

He’s right. I don’t need to be this anxious, after all. We even know each other for a long time.

She finally smiled, feeling a lot more confident. This date was promising to be a romantic one.

Just as she opened her mouth to voice her thoughts—

“Yo!”

“Woah!”

A voice interrupted her. Rusk was bewildered, and as for Ilka - she felt secretly resentful, but didn’t show it, not wanting to bring her image even further down.

Our conversation was just about to start flowing smoothly! This is unfair…

But why is he sitting with us? Since when?

She looked the stranger over, growing more confused with each second.

His eyes were wrapped in a cloth, and a long cloak was draped over his shoulders.

Actually, it would be more accurate to say that it was draped over one shoulder; the cloak was cleanly cut diagonally, only covering the left side of his upper body, and the left arm.

How odd. No, but really, why is he here? Is he acquainted with Rusk?

“Sorry, friends. Didn’t mean to scare ya. I’m Ori, by the way.”

With those words, he draped his arm over Ilka’s shoulder.

Her expression scrunched up in disgust, but she was a little scared of just shooing him off. The young man was clearly a martial artist.

A martial artist and a creep. This is the worst…

Just as Ilka was thinking of ways to get rid of him safely, she looked over towards Rusk, only to see that his shoulder also had an arm draped over him. The stranger wrapped his arms around both of them like they were old friends.

Then, a realization struck her.

Oh, no. He’s not a sexual predator - he’s a complete weirdo!

“Hey, you mind if I borrow your boyfriend for a sec? I’ve got something important to tell him.”

Before she could process his question, the strange man leaned in towards Rusk, whispered something in his ear, and then slung him over his shoulder and waddled out of the building.

It all happened so fast that she had no idea what to make of the situation.

Wha-What? What’s happening?

Ilka was completely lost, but then she saw Rusk flash her a reassuring smile, meaning that he was okay.

Maybe they do know each other, after all. But, uhh, why is the stranger carrying him like a sack of potatoes?

This easily qualified for the strangest day of Ilka’s life.

***

I brought the rich kid outside, to a nice rock we could sit on. Gently putting him down, I sat cross-legged to face him.

He rubbed his bottom, a pained look on his face.

“Why did you have to throw me on the hard stone like that? It hurt.”

Why’s this kid complaining? I’m about to professionally wingman his sorry ass - he should be thankful, if anything. Tsk, tsk.

When we were at the pub, I asked him to come along nicely. Of course, he must’ve realized I’m a fighter, because he let me drag him out without resistance.

“So, sir, what do you want from me?”

“It’s nothing much, really. I just saw how you guys were having a lovey-dovey time together, and I figured I could help out a fellow man in need. You get me?”

“No, not at all. What does that even mean? Wanted to help me out? How?”

“Woah, slow down. That’s too many questions. All I want is to make you look like a cool dude in front of your date. Don’t ask why, though. You know what they say - curiosity killed the... uhh... the... the creature.”

Going off of the look on his face, he definitely wanted to know what the hell was going on, but of course I couldn’t just tell him that I needed to use sweet green.

“Alright, I won’t pry.”

“Great! That’s what I wanted to hear. So, here’s the situation. There’s two people, a scary tall man clad in black and a hot girl, around my age, at the pub we just left.”

He tilted his head, completely clueless as to where this was going.

“Thing is, I overheard from their conversation that those two bumbling idiots forgot to bring money to pay for their meal. So, the plan is simple. You come over to their table - ensuring that your girlfriend is watching all of it - and pay for their meal like the charitable young man you are.

She’ll be impressed with your humanitarianism, and you’ll get to look awesome in front of your date. Solid plan, right?”

Rusk’s expression was golden. If he were a friend of mine, I’d be laughing my guts out right now.

“May I ask a question, sir?”

“Didn’t I tell you not to get overly curious?”

“Ahh, no, it’s not about the reason for your actions.”

He quickly waved his hands in the air, scared of offending me.

“Hm, alright. What’s up?”

I gave him the go-ahead.

“Why did you have to bring me outside, and in such an embarrassing manner on top of that? Surely you could’ve just quietly told me all you needed to say at the pub, without bringing me out like that? Especially since your goal doesn’t appear to be beating me up.”

I rested my chin on my hand, deep in thought.

Huh, he makes a good point.

“That’s something I can tell you. To answer your question... I dunno? Talking to you at the pub just didn’t cross my mind, I s’pose?”

“Huh?”

Rusk let out a dumb sound.

“Hahaha, mate, you look so funny right now. Ease up your expression, or your girlfriend will think you shit yourself.”

“…”

“Welp, nice chatting with ya. Cya around, friend.”

I stood up with a stretch, and bade the man farewell.

A few minutes later, Rusk finally came to it and walked into the bar.

Looks like my mission was a success. What a fun guy.

I strode off with a smile, in the direction of the Black Lake Syndicate branch.

In a few hours, our jailbreak was finally going to start.