I know it's been a few days since we had a chapter, but stick with me, we'll get back to more regular updates soon! Let's check in with Ashlynn and see how she's coping with the realization that she's dating The Sexiest Man Alive...can she match him in the bedroom?
Ashlynn
It's been the weirdest day of my life, and it's only nine am.
I guess Leed's sexy voice singing me to sleep last night did something to my subconscious, because I woke this morning in a sweat.
Not a cold sweat.
A hot, sticky, sheets-tangled, hair-matted-my-neck sweat.
Because of the dream I was having about Leed, doing things to me that I've never really enjoyed before.
But boy did I like it in the dream.
Before I could even get out of bed, Kat was quietly knocking on the door. "Hey, uhhm...you okay?"
"Fine!" I call brightly. Oh god, I must have been moaning in my sleep or something. I put a pillow over my face and groan.
Kat hears it. She's giggling outside the door. "Okay, I'll leave you to your...morning practice..."
Oh.My.God! She thinks I'm...you know.
I leap from the bed and jerk open the bedroom door. "You don't get to tease me like that! I'm the big sister, remember?"
Kat has her toothbrush in hand, smirking at me, making a show of looking over my shoulder trying to get a view in the room.
"What are you doing?"
She rolls her eyes and pushes past me, jerking open the closet door, checking inside. "Huh. He's really not here?"
"Who?"
She rolls her eyes at me.
"No, of course he's not here!" I hiss.
"Well, you were calling out 'Leed, Leed,' so I just assumed," she says tersely, thrusting her toothbrush back in her mouth and sauntering out the door, her hips swaying in satisfaction. I have the urge to kick her in the butt and trip her. I would, too...except that would be very dangerous with a toothbrush in her mouth, so sisterly violence is out of the question until she's finished brushing her teeth.
Instead, I follow her to the large bathroom that we shareâthank god it has double sinks and plenty of counter spaceâand pull my hair back to wash my face. I glare at her in the mirror. "You did not hear me saying his name."
She grins. "I so did." She spits in her sink and slides on the counter next to me.
"Oh god," I bend over, splashing copious amounts of water on my burning face.
"It's okay. I won't tell Trace, I swear. I love that boy, but it's not like he has to know everything. You can tell me. Were you guys having phone sex? Did you Facetime or just...talk each other through it?"
I snatch the hand towel off the wall and beat her shoulder with it. "Trace is right. What the hell is wrong with you?"
She shrugs. "I'm just on the side of romance. And hot sex. Tell me."
I pat my face with the towel, but really I'm just hiding it. I sigh and pull the towel away from my face, staring at my sister, who looks so much like me, except for the supremely sinful look she almost always wears. "Okay, but if I tell you, it's a sister pact. You can't tell Trace...yet."
She squeals and jumps of the counter, jumping up and down as she hugs me. "Oh my god, I knew it! You guys are doing it, aren't you?"
"No, I mean...we aren't...I guess I must have been dreaming about him this morning, because..." I twist my fingers and bite my lip, "yesterday...Leed...he asked me to be his girlfriend."
"What do you mean? Like his friend with benefits?" she probes.
"No, like an actual girlfriend. Exclusive. Committed. Girlfriend."
"Waitâhe asked you to be his girlfriend, and you haven't even slept together?"
"Right."
Kat's caramel eyes go round. "Fuck," she whispers.
"Fuck," I agree.
"Oh my fucking god, he loves you!" Kat whispers grabbing me around the waist and jumping around some more. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, he loves you, Ashlynn!!! Shit, I'm so fangirling right now!!! The Lion of Soundcrush is in love with my big sister!!!!" She's squealing and knocking us into walls in her enthusiasm.
I can't help laughing at her, as I try to keep us from ending up on the floor. "No one said anything about love. And you're crazy. The Bad-Ass of Soundcrush is actually in love with you, or did you forget, Dizzy?"
"Pfffewwwww. As much as I love him, Trace will always be the boy-next-door to me. It still surprises me, when I see him on stage and he's so...different. But Leed is Leed wherever he goes...and Leed is..." she picks up her phone, thumbs a search and thrusts front page People Cover in my face. He looks so damn fine in an olive tank top and a half man bun. "The Sexiest Man Alive. Fucking shit, Ashlynn!!!! The sexiest man alive asked you to be his girlfriend, and he hasn't even sexed you yet. He's soooo in love with you. It took Trace three months to make me his official girlfriend, and that was after all the sex and love declarations."
I lean against the door, staring at myself in the mirror. I look stricken. Almost green.
"Let's stop, with the love stuff, okay? I have enough to think about, getting ready for sex with the sexiest man alive," I whisper.
"Yep!" Kat agrees. "Let's make a list," she pulls out her phone. I smile. Little Miss Philanthropy Princess is big on lists now, and she used to tease me mercilessly about my lists. "Birth control?"
"Covered."
She nods. "Bikini wax?"
I wrinkle my nose. "I'm due, but...maybe I should wait. I mean, I don't suppose we are going to have sex like right this minute. It might take us a few weeks, so maybe I should wait like a week or two, so everything down there will be super nice. But then maybe, I shouldn't wait too long..."
"Ashlynn, shut the hell up. You're overthinking. I'm scheduling you a bikini wax ASAP. You really think you're going to be able to keep things PG with your boyfriendâthe sexiest man aliveâfor weeks? You're lying to yourself."
When Kat says that, my hands automatically go to my left side, where the scars I don't want Leedâor anyoneâto see.
It's okay, I tell myself. They are just scars. They are not me. Not anymore. I can explain. He will understand. The scars are the least of my problems, and he understands the brain injury, the drugs, the things I did when I were high. He will understand.
"Okay," I sayâabout the bikini wax
"Awesome," she texting. "They can take you tomorrow, after your morning practice with Ravi. What else?" She pulls my shirt down, exposing my boobs. "Kat!" I scream, jerking my shirt back up. I turn from her, but she grabs the back of my camisole and looks down it.
"You need a spray tan, Ashlynn. You're as striped as a skunk, from all those weird one pieces you wear."
"They aren't weird, they're pretty." And they cover the scars. "But you're right, I'd feel alot more confident with an all over tan. I guess Leed is used to...perfection. How many models has he dated?"
"Dated? None," she grins. "But how many has he fucked? Lots. Don't worry about them. You are as gorgeous as any of them and your body is incredible now." She slaps my ass. "I'm so fucking jealous. I have to kill myself at the gym for booty, and you do yoga and your body looks like art. It's not fair."
I smile. Kat thinks of yoga as too soft of an exercise for her. She says she's too hyper to practice. So she has no idea how much work I'm putting into my practice. She thinks I just do a little stretching and burn some incense, I guess.
"Okay, so all good then." Kat bites her lip. "Wait, uhhmmm...have you been tested?" she asks lightly.
I sigh. So she does know, or at least suspect, about all the men I was with when I was high.
"Yes. Nine months ago, and then at the end of rehab too. All good."
She smiles brightly. "So after you get your wax and your spray tan, you'll be ready!"
She gives me another hug, and dashes off.
I stare at myself in the mirror. "God, I hope so," I murmur, picking up my toothbrush. I feel almost there. I turn around and stare at my bed through my open door. I hope Leed is right. I hope good sex with him is as easy as falling into bed. I remember my dream. When I turn around to the mirror, to my surprise, I'm smiling.
As she rushes out the door half an hour later, I remind her that this is super down-low info, until we get through Nashville.
She nods and puts a finger to her lips. "Smart. We don't want Tam acting all weird about it while we are all staying under Madam's roof in Nashville. I promise, my lips are sealed."
I was more worried about Mac making a big deal and embarrassing me with wild sex statements, but that's another very good reason.
My practice with Ravi is very productive, and when I leave his private studio around noon, I run a couple of errands...getting some groceries and some personal items I need. I stop by a tanning salon for a quick spray. Forty-five minutes later, while I'm waiting in the drive-thru at Starbucks, I do something I have never done before. I call Leed.
For some reason, I always wait on him to call me. A habit left over from rehab, I guess. He was often busy on tour, and I had nothing but time on my hands, so I just...waited to hear from him.
Suddenly I am struck with the amazing realization that if I call him, he will answer. Because I am his girlfriend.
I am right; he picks up on the second ring.
"Hey Sunshine," he drawls lazily through the carphone speaker. "What's going on?"
I smile at the barista like a big goof and drop some dollars in the tip jar as I accept my matcha lemonade. "Not much. Just running errands. What's going on with you?"
"Oh you know, just out for a walk, wearing a baby. Before you ask, he's good. The tylenol is doing the trick and the rash is already fading. Speaking of baby-wearing, however...what are you wearing, baby?" His voice drops low and sexy. I guess he must be on a solo walk with Ollie.
"Just my yoga clothes." I pick at a run in my leggings. "I really need to get some new ones, before we start the acroyoga class."
"You better hurry. We start on Wednesday."
"What?"
"Yep. I called Gabe to get the ball rolling. We had some privacy issues to work out."
"Privacy issues?"
"No pictures from students unless I give permission, he can't use my name to promote the class, stuff like that. He was great about it. Riley's sending him an agreement."
"Oh. Wow. I didn't even think about that kind of thing. If you'd rather not..."
"I'd rather. Don't worry about it, baby. It's not your job to think about that stuff. It's Riley's and Marcy's, but you'll get a feel for how it all goes, when we start to go out in public together. Speaking of Marcy...expect a call."
"Okay." I wince. I didn't mean to sound so flat.
"You gotta beef with Marcy?"
"No, not at all," I say quickly. "Just a knee-jerk reaction, I guess. The only time Marcy ever called me before was to tell me she just spent a boatload of money buying and killing a picture of me with Trace. I always felt bad. I tried to stay so discreet, but people would get pictures of us somehow..."
"Well, you better get used to having your picture taken with me. I'm not exactly low profile, and I'm hoping we're gonna have a lot of fun out there in the big wide world, and I'm proud as fuck to have you by my side, so...it's gonna happen. Marcy just wants to talk with you about what to say or not say to paps...and how to post on your social media so as not to get a lot of haters and stuff. She didn't guide you like that with Trace because the goal was to keep you out of sight, so she just wants to help you strike a balance between our fun and your privacy, okay?"
"So you told Marcy that we're..."
"Dating? Yeah. I know you didn't want to tell anybody, but she really needs the advance warning..."
"I understand. It's okay, because...actually...I...sort of...told...Kat."
Leed snorts. "Well the Kat's out of the bag, now."
"Ha-ha. She actually promised to keep it to herself, until after Nashville."
"That'll work...until she has a few drinks," Leed laughs. I smile. Kat does get a little hand of hand sometimes, but she's young. She's still learning her limits.
Leed abruptly changes the conversation to tell me about a scene he's witnessing in Tamara's neighborhoodâa middle-aged guy lying in boxers in his front yard, crying, oblivious to the sprinklers soaking him. Leed watches, making a game of guessing the story.
"His dotcom finally went bust," I suggest.
"Maybe his wife ran off with her best girl," he counters.
"Or maybe his dog died."
"And his Mercedes got repoe'd?"
"That sounds too much like a country song..." I frown. "This is LA...maybe his shrink died. Or maybe his rebellious teenage daughter makes more money as an influencer than he does and bought the controlling shares in his company to screw with him."
Leeds laughs. "You right, Sunshine. Well, let's find out. Hey man, you alright?"
"Leed, leave the poor man alone!!!" I hiss.
Leed ignores me and strikes up a conversation with the crying man. In about five minutes, he's coaxed the man from the ground and the guy, who is pathetically drunk, is walking the block with Leed and Ollie, complaining about how his net worth is meaningless, all he does is work, and life is passing him by. Leed gives him a pep talk, and I listen as I drive home. By the time they have circuited the block, Leed has convinced him to go on a spiritual retreat.
"Leed LawsonâLion, Frontman, Spiritual Guru," I tease him.
He laughs. "You forgot sex coach."
"I did not, but that remains to be seen," I whisper and he laughs until he cries.
"You can see, whenever you decide you're ready, Sunshine. Speaking of sex, since Wednesday will be kind of like an unofficial date for us...do you wanna stay over at my house and not have any?"
I bite my lip, and cradle my phone against my ear as I work the key in the lock of my front door. "Uhhhm, is that a trick question?"
"No. It's just a question. Can we hang out after acro and will you stay with me?"
"Oh, Leed!" The scene inside my living room arrests my answer. I stop in the door, my eyes going everywhere at once, amazed.
Our little living room is covered with flowers. Beautiful arrangements of all sizes, with the same bright mix of flowers...pink and salmon daisies, green and blue roses, tiny brightly colored wildflowers, and several giant sunflowers in each bouquet. There are small bowls of bouquets on every stair, and I'm betting my room is covered in flowers too. There are more arrangements in the kitchen as I walk through. On the patio there are two giant planters with sunflowers and edibles...herbs, cucumbers, and lettucesâsalad ready.
"Oh my god, Leed." It's pretty much all I can say. The sunflowers make it obvious the bouquets are for me, from him. "You flower bombed me."
"Of course I did. You think I wasn't going to do something special on our first day of dating? Do you like them?"
"They're gorgeous. It looks...it looks like you tie-dyed the house in flowers."
"That's great. I love the way you describe things."
"And the house smells...amazing. Thank you. It's incredible and crazy and..." I laugh, twirling around in the living room... "and I love it. But how in the world?"
"Sent Sawyer to get Kat's key. He let the florist in. He'll come over and dispose of them when they need to go...don't worry about that. There's only one thing you have to do with those flowers."
"What's that?"
"Send me a picture of you with a sunflower in your hair, okay? I...fuck...I miss you."
"Oh, Leed. I miss you, too. That's crazy, huh?" I really do miss him, like we are supposed to be together right now.
"It is crazy," his voice is low. "But I'm so fucking glad you feel the same way."
As soon as we say good-bye, I send him a picture of me blowing him a kiss over a bouquet.
He texts back:
Gorgeous.
Flowers are pretty, too.
More, please.
Taking selfies with the flowers inspires me. I don't think any of the pictures are really doing the flowers justice, so I sacrifice one of the many bouquets to make a wreath for my head. I'm trying to find a place with decent lighting to take a selfie when Kat walks in with Seb, her art-teacher-drinking-buddy-partner-in-her-philanthropy campaign. They just stopped by on their way to Seb's gallery, where they are already staging for Thursday's show, so Kat could see the flowers that Sawyer told her about.
"I told you," Kat elbows Seb, gesturing around at the flowers. "It would be worth seeing."
"It's...fabulous!" Seb puts a hand on his hip and saunters threw the flowers, then he looks me up and down. "You must have the golden pussy to get this kind of treatment from your secret dreamboat, Ashlynn."
I laugh nervously, because there's nothing else I can say to that. Especially to Seb. I'm not one hundred percent sure about him, like Kat is.
I've met a lot of sketch people, and over the last couple of years I'd like to think I've honed my instincts. Seb is not a bad guy, but he's the kind of person that is opportunistic. He'll put himself first, and worry about everyone else later. Still, he's enthusiastic and energetic and a fount of information on how to survive the ins and outs of the LA social scene, and when he's feeling magnanimous, he can be really helpful.
Like now, when he realizes what I'm trying to do with my phone camera, and clucks at me. "Goddesses don't take selfies. They leave their photography to professionals, Ashlynn." He snaps his fingers at Kat. "Be and doll and go get my camera, a ring light and a couple of reflectors out of the van..."
"Yay!" she squeals and scurries out front.
"No, no, no..."
Seb pinches my protest away as he grabs my lips. "What are you taking the picture for, Big Sister? Your Instagram?"
"No...for...for my secret dreamboat," I say with a sheepish grin.
"Ahhhh," he raises an eyebrow and studies me. He pulls out his own phone, types in a search and shows me some example images. "Then let's do something like this...it will just take me a half an hour to get the shot and photoshop..."
Wow. The pictures he's showing me are showing a lot of skin, but mostly a bare back, over the shoulder pose. They are beautiful images, though, and if mine turned out half as well, I know Leed would like. Alot.
"Okay," I agree. "But it has to be an over the shoulder shot like that one, from my right side."
"Go take your top off, touch up your makeup, and put on a robe, while I get set up." He claps three times. "It's a fucking great day when I get to shoot beautiful people!"
I'm a little nervous about taking my top off in front of the camera, but Seb checks the lighting with my robe on, fiddles with my hair, snaps again at Kat and tells her to go get his blower from the van. He makes her his photography assistant, blowing my curls as he checks the image.
"Okay, doll...go ahead and drop the robe. Five minutes max."
I make sure that my left hand is crosses over my right ribs, covering the cigarette burn there. The much worse scars are on my left side, which is turned completely away from Seb, Kat and the camera, but they are mostly covered by the way I am holding my arm, anyway. Seb prompts me to raise my shoulder, open my mouth, smile, not smile, look sexy, hungry, shy, and after only about two minutes he covers his lens with the cap. "Got it."
I quickly squat and put on my robe with my back still to them. Before I even tie it, Seb is demanding his laptop and Kat scurries to get it. The only shopping he does is darkening the background and intensifying the colors in the flowers a bit. He emails it to me.
"That's a gift. Beautiful people like you tend to get famous. Make sure you remember me if you do, okay? I'd love to do your headshots, your social media shoots..." he grins wickedly, "your wedding book."
I blush furiously. "I don't think I'll be needing a photographer anytime soon, but thank you for the shot, Seb. It's beautiful."
He winks. "You make it easy, just like your sister. Promise you'll be a good girl and not delete my work, okay?"
Kat rolls her eyes. I shoot her a sympathetic smile. "I'll treasure this picture. Thank you."
When they leave, I pace the apartment. The picture is beautiful, but can I really do this? Send it to Leed? I need to go slow...is this too fast? I don't know.
I don't know what to do with the picture.
Finally, I decide to send it for one reason...I think it will drive Leed wild.
IÂ want him to want me. IÂ want him to know I want him.
I bit my lip, close my eyes and send the picture.
I hope I haven't provoked a lion past the point I can handle.
Ha! So Ashlynn isn't quite the Pollyanna we think she is. She's definitely hoping she and Leed are going to make magic and she's already into showing Leed her sexy side... Will she be able to keep up with him, though?
You guys want to see the picture of Ashlynn in her flower wreath? Well, you have to wait until the next chapter, to see it with Leed!