Chapter 34

(Chapter song ‘How To Save A Life’ by The Fray **** ‘Something Wicked This Way Comes' by Siouxsie and the Banshees)

QUINN My wolf stands tall in the desert. The two lane black top under his paws. The sand blows like sidewinders across it. I feel exposed in the wide open space of the red ocean. The horizon is dotted with rocky mounds and the odd cactus being pushed by the occasional gust of wind. The wind blows through his thick, black fur as he closes his eyes and raises his nose to the air.

We're waiting for someone who I need to help a friend.

There’s a lot I have atone for and I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for all the damage I caused. I can start with someone who needs my help in the worst way.

The sand whips by and I see him on the shimmering horizon. The black dot bounces in the heat mirage as he trots to me. He wanted to run here. He’s apparently taken a natural route to life. I kind of knew he’d end up like that. He just seemed like that type of guy. So, I’m joining him in his lifestyle to see how he lives. I’ve ran half way to Falcon Ridge and meeting him in the middle.

His brown wolf comes fully into view and I bark. I let out a howl and he howls back.

I shift and he runs to me. He shifts in mid stride and laughs. “The Quinn man! How are ya!” He throws his arms around my neck and shoulder.

I hug him back. “Eli. I’m good. You’re ugly as ever.” I chuckle.

“Whatever.” He shoves me. He looks at my shoulder. “Married man now, huh?”

I wipe the dust off my mark. “Yep. She’s great. I have kids now.”

“What? No. Little yous.” His brows go up.

I rub my neck. “Not so little anymore. They have my growth.”

“Oh damn. Everything going OK?” He says.

I nod. “No. I’m mean, yeah. They’re just confused. I’m helping them. I started a youth group home for Lycans.”

“No shit. I figured rocket science or veterinarian…” He snorts.

“What?” I laugh.

“That’s good, Quinn. Really.” He says as we walk down the road toward Phoenix.

“So traveling eh?” I glance at him as I pull on the straps of my wolf pack.

“Yep. It’s nice. Just being by myself for a while. I don’t let rogue sickness set in, but I just focus on myself and live out here.” He says.

“Sound enlightening.” I says.

“It is. You can learn so much about yourself when it’s just you to piss off.” He grins.

“Well, I’m glad you reached out.” I say.

He looks at the road. “You know. You think about things while you’re out there and kind of want to check in…”

“Eli. I’m sorry how I left things. It probably doesn’t mean much now, but I’ve felt bad about it since it happened. I wanted to call you so many times, I just…I didn’t know what to say.” I glance at my best friend and hope he feels that I truly regret not having him in my life.

“I know, Quinn. You lost your way, but from what I’ve seen, you found the path and are following it. That’s good. It’s hard to admit your mistakes and take the consequences. I see you’ve done that. Who am I to continue punishing you for it? Our paths will diverge and go different places, but eventually we come back together.” He stops and smiles.

I smile back and throw my arms around him. “Thank you.”

“No problem, buddy.” He claps my back and separates. “Now, the other reason I’m here. How is she?”

I continue walking. “She…um…She got put back on suicide watch. She not doing well at all. I thought seeing you might give her focus again.”

“I’ll see what I can do. We were all friends. Maybe all three of us together will show her that we want her to get better.” He says.

“I’m hoping so.”

“Let’s go.”

We shift and run into the desert to Phoenix to see if can’t shake our friend out of her self destruction.

****

We wait in the psychiatric wing of the Prison for Rita. She’s still very angry.

She is escorted into the room wearing white pajamas and iron chains. She limps because the iron bullet she was shot with shattered and there’s a tiny piece lodged in her spinal cord and it’s causing partial paralysis on one side. If it moves out of her cord they can operate, but where it is, they could totally paralyze her if they go in now.

Her face is broken. Her hair is a mess. She’s in bare feet. She looks heavily medicated.

“Rita.” I breathe. I may be in love with Paisley and she’s my mate, but I still remember the feelings I had for Rita and seeing her so broken like this breaks my heart because it was my fault.

She looks at me with such hatred. She turns her attention to Eli and her chin starts to quiver.

“Hey, Rita.” He waves a little bit.

“Hi.” She says as the guard sits her in the chair and chains her to the floor.

“I’ll be right outside.” He says to me.

“Thank you.” I nod to him and he leaves.

“Rita. What’s going on?” Eli asks.

“Nothing. Just dying.” She laughs as she looks at the floor.

“Rita, I’m so sorry. This is the last thing I wanted for you. I thought I was saving you from me. I understand now. I understand what I did and I can help you understand too.” I say to her.

Eli nods. “There’s no reason you can’t get help, Rita. It may not change much, but at least you can make peace with yourself.”

She raises her head. “Peace. You think I want peace.”

“Rita, please…” I start.

“No, Quinn. I told you. You killed me when you bit me that night. What I am now will never be able to have peace. Liam created that. I let it happen. I wanted it, Quinn. You act like you destroyed me. No. You birthed me. You gave me this life. I will never be the same. I can’t be you. I can’t just turn my back on what I am.” She leans forward to me.

“I don’t turn my back, Rita. I know what I am. I know what I’m capable of. I don’t let it run me. I try to help people like you so no one gets hurt.” I say.

Eli rests his arms on the table. “Rita. We miss you. Miss who you were. We know this isn’t the sweet Rita we loved. She’s in there somewhere, though. I can feel her. I always felt her. She can’t hide from me.”

I look to Eli then turn to Rita who’s eyes were welling with tears.

“I can’t. I can’t fight it, Eli. I’m too weak.” She chokes.

He reaches out his hand. “We can make you strong, Rita. We can help you fight. All you have to do is ask.” He talks soft and calming. I think is should make him a councillor. He’s good.

She looks at his hand and starts to cry. She looks at Elis hand and looks at me. Tears fall from her eyes.

“Take it, Rita. Please.” I whisper.

Eli gently shakes his hand on the table.

She’s shaking as she raises her chained hand to the metal table top. The chain links clink on the edge of the table as she slowly reaches for Elis hand. Once they touch, Eli slams his other hand on hers and she starts to sob. I put my hands on theirs.

“We can do this. Together.” I say.

“Together.” Eli smiles.

She raises her head and looks at us both. She lowers her head and shakes it.

I look at Eli and he looks at me.

Then she starts laughing. She raises her head and laughs at us in hysterics.

“You idiots! You think you can just take this Queen out of me!” She forcibly rips her hand back. “I don’t want her gone! I need her! I was nothing before you bit me. Nothing! Now, I’m something! I’m Queen! I’m powerful! I’ll bring the lycans to greatness.”

Her eyes are crazy and she smirks at us. “You will both bow at me feet! You will. All of Phoenix City will cower before me. They did once and I’ll do it again. I’ll have you, Quinn. You’re mine. The only breed Prince I need. Me and you, buddy.”

I smack Eli on the arm and we get up. He looks concerned, but shocked by Rita’s behavior.

“You feel it, Quinn. You feel the need to populate us again…”

I knock on the door and the guard opens the door.

“She’s done.” I mutter and we walk out “QUINN! YOU NEED ME, QUINN! YOU MADE ME! YOU CAN’T SURVIVE WITHOUT YOUR QUEEN! NONE OF YOU WILL SURVIVE WITHOUT ME!!” Rita screams as the guard drags her from the room and down the hall. She’s fighting him the whole way as she screams at us.

I lower my head and rub my forehead. “I’m sorry, man.”

“Hey. Don’t be. I saw her. Briefly. She’s still in there.” He says.

“Yeah, but you saw her. She’s gone. Her lycans consumed her. The Queen won’t let her go.” I motion my hand down the hall.

He wraps his arm around my shoulder and we walk to the exit. “True, but that doesn’t mean rehabilitation isn’t possible. I think…I can pull her out.”

I roll my head to him. “What about your life?”

He shrugs. “I was thinking about settling somewhere anyway. What better place than Phoenix. It feels like there’s more excitement here.”

I huff a chuckle. “Trust me. It can get boring after a while.”

“Borings good. I like boring too. Nope. I’m staying. Someone has to teach those boys of yours to throw a football.” He holds his chin up.

“Uh…I can still throw.” I furrow my brow.

He takes his arm off. “Please. The only reason you got quarterback is because of your whittle baby face.” He grabs my chin and shakes it. Squeezing my cheeks.

“Man! Fuck off!” I shove him off me and he cackles. “Seriously. I’d love it if you stayed, but don’t do it because of my mess.”

He puts his arm around me again. “It’s our mess, buddy. I won’t let you help, Rita alone. She ours. We deal with her together.”

“Together.” I smile.

“I said we’re friends forever, Quinn. It’s not the end of forever yet. Win or lose, I’ll be right here waiting for you to throw me that ball.” He claps my back.

I grin a toothy grin and clap his back in return. I’m so glad I picked right when it came to friends. I find myself shocked in this aspect. I thought I screwed up everything I ever had, but as it turned out they were all just waiting for me to figure myself out and ask for help. Not all of us made it out ok, but we are turning our backs on them. Rita isn’t a lost cause. Eli says she’s in there, I believe him. She won’t get out of jail, but if Eli can get the old Rita back, just maybe she can right her own wrongs.

I will forever bare the guilt of hurting her, but there comes a point where Rita must hold accountability. It’s impossible right now because she’s hiding behind her lycan. It still controls her. Once she takes control, I know she’ll be a better person for it.

As true friends, Eli and I will be right there for her when that happens. We’ll help her pick up the pieces and find the happiness she deserves. The happiness we all…deserve.

****

After checking in with the boys, I walk to the couch, Paisleys studying for her level 4 exam. I lay down across the couch and put my head under her book. I lift her shirt and kiss her belly.

“What are you doing?” She giggles and lifts her book.

I smile up at her. “Trying to get your attention.”

She laughs and closes her book. She grabs my cheeks and lifts my head to her lips. I moan on her lips and hold the back of her head as I deeply kiss her.

“I’ve wanted to do that all day.” I mumble on her lips.

“Yeah?” She smiles.

“Oh, yeah. I feel something really wicked blowing on the wind. I think it wants out.” I give a seductive growl.

“Is it bad?”

“Oh, it’s so bad.” I say as I undo the last button on my shirt.

“Is it…big?”

“Very big.” I kiss her as I unbutton her shirt.

“Should I be scared?” She smirks as I pull her shirt off her arms.

“You should probably run.” I nod.

She pushes me off and jumps over the couch with a yelp. She bolts across the floor to the stairs.

“Here it comes, Sparky!” I playfully growl and chase her up the stairs to our bedroom.