Jealousy is Such a Pathological State
Ming Qin lay on the bed wearing a single garment, feeling Murong Yanâs breath on her collarbone.
She closed her eyes and let the woman next to her hold her hand and write on her palm stroke by stroke.
âYan Yan wants to know what happened after we separated in the forest?â Ming Qin opened her eyes, her gaze still hollow but accurately directed at the person in front of her.
Feeling Murong Yanâs affirmative squeeze on her hand, Ming Qin stirred her head to recall, âWell⦠after I got off my horse, I saw pursuers behind me, so I beat them up.â She spoke plainly, âXiao Tai was there too, but he was just too annoying. I was so angry that I fought him.â
Despite the conflict that was a matter of life and death, her tone was casual.
âIs Ah Qin angry? What did Xiao Tai say to Ah Qin back then?â Remembering the testimony given by the three people in the tent, Murong Yan wrote on Ming Qinâs hand again, curious to inquire.
âYan Yan wants to know what Xiao Tai said?â
Ming Qin paused and forced a smile, âHe didnât say anything to me. Itâs just that his face was really ugly, and the more I looked at it, the angrier I got.â
âYes! Heâs really ugly.â
As if knowing how clumsy her lie was, she tried to add, âYou see, I faced the most beautiful person in the world for two consecutive months. My eyes were spoiled, and when I saw Xiao Taiâs face, I got angry and fought him.â
The tone was so convincing that Ming Qin felt like she almost believed it herself.
Seeing that the person in front of her didnât want to say more, Murong Yan didnât choose to inquire further, but silently noted to continue listening to Ming Qinâs words.
âLater, I accidentally fell into the lake⦠Does Yan Yan still remember the hunter couple? They saved me, and they even had a new baby girl at home.â Recalling the stone house where she spent half a spring and the warm people she once met, Ming Qin smiled.
âThen Senior Sister came to pick me up!â
âWe opened a teahouse in Shu, but Senior Sister and Senior Brother didnât understand tea, so we were always losing money.â Ming Qinâs expression was lively, and she frowned slightly with a look of distress, âSince there were no customers at the teahouse, Senior Sister and I often went to the brothel.â
Ming Qin, with innocent smile on her face and unable to see the astonishment on Murong Yanâs face, continued to speak without noticing the sudden drop in the air temperature around them.
âWe met a courtesan named Zi Yan, who is very beautiful and plays the zither very well. She always reminds me of you.â
âShe smelled the perfume you gave me, and then she⦠sob.â
Feeling the woman pushing her forcefully and then her shoulder being pressed down unexpectedly in the darkness, Ming Qin was startled, but she didnât resist. She softly asked, âYan Yan, whatâs wrong?â
âAh Qin went to the brothel?â
Dominated by the overwhelming emotion of jealousy, Murong Yan straddled over Ming Qin, looking down at her with a trembling voice.
âYou gave my perfume to a courtesan?â The usually composed womanâs heart was in turmoil, and even the strokes in Ming Qinâs hand were chaotic.
âYan Yan, whatâs wrong with you?â
Murong Yanâs voice was unheard in her ears, and she couldnât decipher what was written on her hand. Ming Qin felt worried and anxious, but she spoke in a soothing tone, âI donât know what Yan Yan wants to express. Letâs take our time, okay?â
As Murong Yan looked at the person beneath her, who looked so helpless and at her mercy, a sudden inexplicable impulse surged within her. She took Ming Qinâs fingers and brought them to her lips, holding them tightly.
Murong Yan tightly gripped Ming Qinâs wrist, controlling her tongue to move back and forth between the gaps of her fingers, sometimes lightly, sometimes heavily.
Her molars slowly ground against the rough joints of the fingers, and the tumultuous jealousy in her heart made her want to bite down, yet the feeling of tenderness was also so vivid.
Ming Qinâs fingers were long, with her middle finger pressing against the depths of the womanâs throat, making Murong Yan have an uncontrollable urge to gag, but she continued, swallowing, savoring every inch meticulously.
In the darkness, Ming Qin felt the warmth coming from Murong Yanâs index and middle fingers, and unconsciously she curled her fingers, touching the womanâs molars and the root of her tongue.
The naive shadow guard thought that Murong Yanâs action was to help her understand her lip movements and words, so Ming Qin obediently relaxed her wrist, letting the person beside her gently and warmly lick her fingers from shallow to deep.
But no matter how hard she tried to sense, Ming Qin still couldnât make out anything.
âYan Yan.â
The young shadow guard looked frustrated, bowing her head pitifully. âI still donât know what you want to say.â
Seeing the dejected look on the young shadow guardâs face, as if she has a pair of drooping dog ears, Murong Yan felt a twinge of pity and the jealousy and unease in her chest subsided slightly.
She released her fingers from her mouth, and the saliva formed threads in the air, wetting Ming Qinâs clothes.
As Murong Yan was about to bend down, she heard a timid knock on the door from a maid outside, âPrincess, General Changsheng is here for a visit and has been led to the study, waiting.â
Murong Yan felt annoyed as her intimate time with Ming Qin was interrupted by the sudden arrival of her brother.
She slowly got up from the bed and wrote a large âwaitâ on Ming Qinâs palm with utmost clarity. Then she put on her socks and shoes, and draped her outer robe, following the maid out of the room.
Murong Can, who couldnât sit still, paced back and forth in the side hall with his hands behind his back, and the tiger cub followed him with its big head, swaying from left to right along with his steps.
When Murong Yan calmly entered the study, Murong Can broke into a big smile and helped her to the soft chair by the side.
âIs there something that brings you here today, brother?â the woman spoke calmly and didnât reach for the teapot to boil water. Instead, she pushed a plate of snacks in front of the man.
âYueâer, Father will return to the Northern Territory next month,â Murong Can grabbed a mung bean cake and stuffed it into his mouth as he reported, âbut I will stay in the capital as the commander of the army.â
âThat suits you well,â Murong Yan nodded calmly as she looked at her brother.
âAndâ¦Murong Wen has been expelled from the family registry. The edict was issued by His Majesty himself yesterday afternoon, and the historians all heard it,â the man scratched his ear and spoke with a hint of regret, âbut even so, he will follow Father back to the Northern Territory mansion as a commoner.â
âBut donât worry!â Murong Can gestured, seemingly concerned that his sister would feel upset, âHe has already been beaten up and wonât be able to get up for ten days or so.â
Raising her gaze, Murong Yan said, âBrother, behaving like this will only invite gossip.â
Rather than letting his sister think of him as a violent and impulsive person, Murong Can stubbornly waved his hand. âNo, no, no⦠It wasnât me! He was just beaten on the street by someone else, it really wasnât me.â
âMaybe he was beaten because heâs too ugly,â Murong Can retorted, trying to find an excuse.
Hearing his retort, Murong Yan suddenly thought of something and her lips curved into a smile. She pursed her lips and murmured in agreement, ââ¦Maybe thatâs true, heâs really too ugly.â There was a hint of amusement in her eyes.
Not understanding why his sister suddenly seemed happy, Murong Can could only smile along with her.
âBrother, be careful during your stay in the capital,â advised Murong Yan. âAlthough the Emperor trusts you, the complexities and sly people in the official circles are harder to guard against than hidden arrows. You must be cautious with everyone, in your words, actions, and even with the charming beauties. If someone presents a woman of unknown origin to youâ¦â
âYu Yu Yuâerâ¦Yuâer! What are you talking about?â Murong Can interrupted.
He seemed surprised that his sister would discuss such a embarrassing matter with him. The innocent Murong Can blushed and stammered, âI-I-I wonât casually share a bed with any other woman!â
âOh?â
The manâs words made Murong Yan realize a different meaning. She arched her eyebrows, âBrother, are you saying⦠that you already have someone in your heart?â
Murong Can stood up suddenly, his face turning as red as a crab. He was clearly not ready to discuss this topic with his own sister. He thought of the woman he had unintentionally seen in the palace a few months ago, the one who had been haunting him in his dreams. He nervously fidgeted with his fingers.
âSister, itâs getting late,â he said, stumbling over his words. âIâll leave now, you rest well.â
Watching her brother leave with his head down, almost colliding with the door frame, Murong Yan couldnât help but feel amused.
Oh well, her brotherâs affairs were not her concern.
The woman stood up, patting the head of the tiger cub by her feet. She walked confidently out of the corridor, but her composure was shattered as soon as she stepped into the room.
Through the screen, she saw the mist-filled room, and two maidservants were helping Ming Qin change clothes beside the bathtub filled with water.
The young shadow guard just stood there obediently, allowing the strangers hands to touch her skin.
Murong Yanâs face darkened, and she raised her hand to flick her sleeve. With a swift motion, she knocked over the jade teapot filled with flowers worth a thousand taels on the table.
âPrincess!â
âPrincess Chongwen!â
The two maidservants quickly walked out from behind the screen upon hearing the loud noise, and they saw Murong Yanâs cold face and the shattered pieces on the floor. They nervously lowered their heads and stood in front of her.
âWho allowed you to come in?â
The woman asked through clenched teeth, suppressing her anger. âI thought I had made it clear that no one is allowed to enter this room?â
âPrincessâ¦â The two girlsâ faces turned pale, and they trembled as they replied, âIt was⦠it was Shadow Guard Ming, she shouted outside and wanted to take a bath, soâ¦â
As Murong Yan looked at the hands of the girls clutching their sleeves tightly, images of their fingers brushing against Ming Qinâs skin kept flashing in her mind.
Her extreme possessiveness was at play, and the overwhelming sourness and jealousy in her chest made her involuntarily contemplate unreasonable punishments for the two people in front of her.
She knew it was wrong, she knew she shouldnât, but the twisted envy was so pathological that she couldnât restrain it.
ââ¦You two?â
âAre you still here?â
âExcuse me⦠is anyone else here?â
The hesitant call from Ming Qin behind the screen interrupted Murong Yanâs malicious thoughts and made her forget everything else, wanting only to quickly return to her beloved.
âIf you want to be safe, decide whether you want to be transferred to another palace or the outer courtyard. Donât let me catch you here again,â the woman ordered in a low voice to the two maidservants in front of her, trying to maintain the little bit of rationality left in her.
âIn any case, leave this place.â
Before her rising jealousy overwhelmed her.