Iâm probably about halfway through my third period class.
I ended up skipping it, but I wasnât in class right now.
The place was in the corner of the schoolyard, just in a blind spot.
There I was, facing Mary.
âItâs simple. Why canât you just say, âDonât use me in the futureâ?â
Mary-san forcefully pushes a smartphone at me.
When I take it, the phone book screen is already open there, showing my motherâs name.
Touch it and the call starts.
The thought of talking to that mother â just thinking about it sends chills down my spine.
I hate that mother who is my blood relative, even though I am her son, even though she gave birth to me, but she has a strangerly and mechanical voice.
I cry in my memory of my childhood, when I was dismayed, disappointed, and abandoned for not being able to do anything.
After my motherâs disappointment, I too lost the ability to expect anything from myself.
I began to question my own worthiness, and eventually I thought of myself as a âmob characterâ and lost all motivation for everything.
Thanks to Shiho, I became a better person. Thatâs why I donât want to hear her voice anymore.
I donât want to go back to my past self anymore.
My cowardly self is shaking my head desperately.
Donât call her, itâs screaming at me.
âDonât you just want to stick your chest out in front of Shiho?â
But Mary-san could do anything after all.
I guess it was easy for her to push my timid back.
âNihihi⪠know you want me to say so. Good thing Iâm on your side this time ⦠or I wouldnât be doing the annoying thing of encouraging a pathetic mob character.â
â¦Yeah, I knew that.
I am still a pawn dancing in Maryâs hands.
I mean, I donât have the right to ⦠make the decision in the first place.
âYou donât even have to make a decision. Kotaro has no freedom of action. He can only do his part for the sake of the story.â
..It has always been that way.
Then it will be the same now.
Iâm here to break the karma with my mother.
Thatâs the plot of the story.
Then there is no need to hesitate.
ââ¦Hello?â
The phone connected.
I pressed the call button, heard a single ring, and immediately the call was connected.
âKotaro, you did a good job.â
Of course, we didnât start chatting.
It was the first conversation I had had with her in several years, but her first words were inorganic.
âThanks to you, we were able to receive a large amount of support from the Mary Corporation. We also received help from the Kurumizawa Conglomerate, and thanks to you, we have a good prospect for the future. This time, it was thanks to Kotaro.â
ââ¦â¦â
I havenât said anything yet.
However, my mother continued to talk on her own, perhaps not wanting to spend even a moment talking on the phone.
âFor the first time, I was glad to have you. I thought you were an outcast, not good in studies or sports, mediocre in looks, and without a shred of talent, but ⦠I never thought you had talent here.â
Talent?
What is this person talking about?
Iâve been told Iâm not talented, that Iâm lucky to have been born, that Iâm out of shape, and other horrible things, but that was a long time ago when I was hurt by those things. Now I donât feel anything when people say such things.
However, for the first time, my mother appreciated my âvalueâ and I was concerned about that.
What was it about me that made my mother so happy?
âI never would have guessed you had a talent for getting ladies to contribute. I canât believe that the Kurumizawa Conglomerate and the daughter of the Mary Company are willing to help you. ⦠This is really, really useful. It will be a great advantage for our company. Thank you, Kotaro.â
â⦠Whatâs that?â
âWith those words of gratitude, a switch was flipped.
Up until now, I had been afraid of my cowardice, but now the line was unforgivable.
âTo ladies, to make them contribute?â
Iâm not getting involved with Kurumizawa-san and Mary-san for such a purpose.
I donât build relationships with such corrupt motives.
I am not like you.
And yet⦠Donât get me wrong.
âCherish these relationships. And with you as a catalyst, our company will take an even bigger leap forward. Finally, youâve made yourself useful to me. Kotaro, why donât you become a host? Iâm sure youâll be more successful that way.â
I was taken aback by the vulgar suggestion.
I didnât want to believe that my mother was this kind of person.
This was impossible.
No, it wasnât.
I was simply turning my back on reality.
Somewhere inside of me, I knew it from the beginning.
âIâm not a ⦠child to you, am I?â
I muttered. Thatâs all I could say.
Then, as if choking back emotion, all I could do was grunt.
âI am a âtoolâ to you, arenât I?â
Not for the first time.
I had recognized that on several occasions.
I guess I was just a tool to my mother,⦠I thought so, but once again, that fact made me angry.
âDonât mess with me.â
Am I useful to my mother?
Or useless?
I guess it is very important to that person.
But when I think about it, ⦠itâs none of my business.
âYou are the one who gave birth to me without my permission.â
I know that saying this would be a waste of time and energy, but I had to say it.
âI wasnât born because I wanted to be born.â
So, donât ask me for anything of value.
Donât force your selfish ideas on meâ¦