After my Sunday low, as much as I dislike school, I was happy for the distraction the over crowded, obnoxiously loud and teenage angst filled building offered.
More so I was grateful for my friends. My mental state was toeing the line between a bad place and one of no return. I was trying to prevent myself from taking that final step into the abyss, but for so long i've felt like I was fighting a loosing battle. Being out of my house that no longer offer the comfort to be called a home, provided a guiding light, a temporary escape that I relished in.
My facade stayed in place. No matter how hard I was finding things I didn't want the other to worry so I did what I did best and played pretend. I felt so wrong and deceitful, like I was lying to them by hiding, but I wasn't sure what else to do. I didn't feel ready to share, though I new sooner or late the truth would come out. Either through my words or my actions.
I watched in amusement as Marcus ate the canteens spaghetti, pasta sauce smeared around his mouth and some even on his nose, and wondered how I called this boy one of my best friend. His shoulder length blond hair hung precariously close to his food and I was counting down the seconds until they made contact. His childish eating habits, though disgusting, were something to marvel at. The way he still managed to get food everywhere at eighteen was a testament to his character.
"Dude, you've got food everywhere. How much of it has even ended up in your mouth?"
Marcus looked at me with a frown before assessing the damage he has cause to his clothing and the table.
"It's all in my mouth." He replied around a mouthful of food after checking once more that no food had escaped him. I just shook my head in response. He mental age was that of a toddler.
I gestured to everything that was evidently not in his mouth. "And all of that?"
"Crumbs." His expression was proud, as if what he said made logical sense.
Before I could probe him, further Shane dropped down into the seat beside me.
"Brody's an absolute dickhead."
"Care to elaborate?" I asked, preparing myself for a rant. Shane was not a people person and venting was his hobby.
Today he was even more so annoyed because he had run out of contacts and was forced to wear the wire frame glasses he hated so much. It was less so the design and more his obsession with his appearance and the negative impact he believe they had on it. From the perspective of a man with an interest in the male gender, while he wasn't my type, it couldn't be disputed Shane was attractive. The glasses in no way changed that fact.
"Yeah, I do. Dumb fuck was copying all my answers for the test, and like I'm fine with that, but I'm not even good at Math and he copied everything. So, it was blatantly obvious and when Miss read over them, she called us out it. Now we've both got detention and need to do a make-up test because he's an idiot who doesn't know copying etiquette."
"Copying etiquette?"
Shane huffed as if Marcus' question was stupid and explained, "Yeah, you know, like not copying word for word, writing somethings down intentionally different, not copying everything."
I made a hum of agreement while Marcus just stared at Shane as if he was insane, before muttering a quiet whatever.
We were sat on a table in the courtyard, none of us being fans of the seating inside the canteen. It was too loud and cramped. The outside was still bustling with life, a soft autumn breeze in the air signifying the season change, though not yet claiming the heat brought by the sun. It was pleasant. The in-between seasons â autumn and spring â had always been my favourite. They were just the right amount; not too warm and not too cold. You could tell we were heading further into the winter, the slight dip in the temperature signalling a shift, but for now we were determined to soak up as much of the warm weather we had left.
"Also," Shane exclaimed, his loud voice interrupting my reverie, "I haven't told you guys but guess what the other day?" There was a mischievous glint in Shanes eyes that told me it was something that landed the younger boy in trouble. "Remember when I convinced my brother he needed to eat the fortune in the fortune cookie?"
A few years ago, Shane told his younger brother, then 7 years old, that for the fortune inside the cookie to come true he had to eat it. His older cousin was there as well, also going along with the prank. So, fully believing they wouldn't deceive him, he ate the note and has, apparently, continued to do so to this day. Clearly not anymore.
"He finally found out?" Shane just burst out laughing, giving us confirmation enough.
"We had a takeaway and when my parents saw him eat it, their faces were priceless. Then Matty explained and all hell broke loose. I can't believe he still did it."
Shane didn't shy away from pranks and his brother was often the unfortunate recipient. Mostly they were harmless, albeit stupid, but there was never any intent to hurt or humiliate him. It was all in good fun and more often than not his parents would also laugh along, Matt too. Some of his most memorable one's were giving him dog treats to eat under the guise it was beef jerky and chasing him around the yard with a super soaker filled with toilet water.
"What did your parents say?"
"Well once they had finished laughing at the situation and how my brother stupidly believed me for so long, they told me off. Took my phone away for the rest of the day, but they were still laughing so I think it was more for show. Matty was pissed, but eventually he came around. Pretty sure he's going to try and get me back."
That was another thing that had started happening in recent years; Matt would get revenge.
"Too right," Marcus said, "if I had a brother who made me eat paper for years I'd been annoyed as well."
"I didn't make him. Just encouraged. It's not my fault he carried on doing it. I thought he would've stopped by now!" I just rolled my eyes in response.
Shane could've owned up to it before now, but his cunning nature wouldn't allow him too. His mischievous personality was something I relied on. Along with Marcus laid back, caring and sometimes idiotic character, they helped me make it through the day. Having them was enough to keep me functioning through school and being beside them forced me to act as if I was my older self as well. I knew my facade had slipped once or twice around Marcus when we were alone. The look on his face when he glimpsed at me created a knot in my stomach that tightened whenever we were together. It was that constant reminder that forced me to try harder at keeping my mask up.
"Are we going to the Halloween dance?" Marcus asked, bringing me out of my revere. The sudden topic chance was jarring, and I wondered if the previous conversation had reached a lull or if I had missed major transition pieces.
Me and Shane shared a look before staring Marcus down with seemingly identical 'Are you serious' expressions.
Marcus held his hands up in surrender. "Sorry! Geez, I was just checking."
"A school dance? Couldn't think of anything worse."
"Yeah, but this is our final year." Marcus reasoned. I was never overly invested in school activities. I was already forced to attend Church events, so having to go to school ones as well was too much forced social interactions. If they were someway academic related, my parents gave me no choice but to attend, ones for enjoyment weren't deemed important and so I was able to make my own decisions.
"Nope. No way. Let's just go out instead. We'll even let you dress us up if you want." I knew Marcus loved Halloween. He was one of those kids that went all out, even decorating his room, and the atmosphere and decorations provided more appeal to him than the dance itself.
His parents were the same. They were slightly wacky and crazy, they loved conspiracy theories and the supernatural - ghost specifically. A few years ago there two-week family holiday was a ghost tour where they stay in different supposedly haunted places. Marcus raved about it, claimed more than one of them was definitely haunted.
I was envious. My holiday that year was a youth bible camp.
I spent a lot of my time at Marcus' home. Everything about it, the house itself and his family, was comforting and inviting. I often preferred it to my own, especially now that my brothers were gone. Even when it was floor to ceiling Halloween decorations. Last year there were fake cobwebs strung across the hallway, with abnormally large spiders dotted around. It was a walking hazard, my head colliding with plastic spiders more often than not, but it was fun.
My parents call Halloween the devil's holiday. Our house held no decorations. Another thing to add to the list of reasons they dislike the Bradford family.
"Cae have I ever told you how much I love you, cause like I do." I rolled my eyes at his comment, but I could deny the happiness it brought me.
"Ugh, why Caleb. Why would you do this to me?" As much as Shane grumbled this was how our Halloween's had always ended up since becoming friends. Marcus would go crazy, and we'd just let him.
It was nice to see him so happy, and if that meant being fully decked out in a ridiculous costume so be it.