"So, you started a fire?" Lucas said to me over the phone the next day. Apparently, my brothers found it highly amusing and shared the news.
"Well, I didn't. I was just there."
"Sure Caleb. Whatever you say."
"I put it out." I whined in protest, receiving a laugh in response.
"A Church and everything. Are you trying to tell us something?"
"Yes actually, I've joined a cult, satanic worship and all that."
"I see it. You all emo, black clothes, and lamb sacrifices."
"I'm sure my parents would love that."
"What did they say after everything?"
"I have to help at the Autumn festival. I need to prove I can be a 'responsible young man' and it's my apology to the Church. My parents have apparently already spoke to Mary and I'll be running one of the game stall. Yay."
Lucas laughed at my lack of enthusiasm. His laugh was melodic, a soothing sound that brought a smile to my face.
I wasn't sure how we had suddenly become the 'call and texting each other random things' type of friends but I was thankful for it. After I spent the night at his place a week ago now, we had been talking frequently.
I enjoyed hearing random titbits about his day, reading his random morning thoughts, and sharing my own. He was always so attentive, listening as if I was revealing the secrets of the universe when I was simply detailing the assignment I was working on or the drama that happened in school.
"Are you up to anything today?"
"Not that I know of?"
"Okay, well now you are. You and I are gonna have some fun. "
"That sounds so suggestive." I couldn't help myself.
"I mean, we'll see where the day goes..."
The smile on my face grew, his retorts amusing. Talking with him was easy, as if we'd had this relationship all along and at times, I wish we had. With my brothers away there was a space in both our lives where they once resided, I guess that enabled us to close the distance we unknowingly created.
"So, what's the plan?"
"That I have not decided. I'll think on my way over. Be ready in, let's say an hour?"
"An hour I can do."
"Great, bye Cae."
"Bye Lucas."
I moseyed around the house after hanging up, a smile on my face and a giddy feeling in my stomach. It was weird feeling, more often than not I felt hollow. Like I was an empty vessel with nothing inside. Emotions evaded me, only coming infrequently and fleeting in their appearance.
Sometimes things would be worse. The hollowness would not fade, instead it spread, gnawing at the rest of my body and trying to destroy that as well.
Sometimes I debate letting it win.
Then my brothers will call, or my friends will reach out, and even if I don't feel like picking up the phone or leaving my bed, it's comforting to know they care.
Now is the best I have felt in a while.
It helped that my parents weren't home.
Mass was cancelled this morning, for unknown reasons... some members of the congregation were meeting in the local recrecation centre for reasons I didn't care to pay attention to. All I cared to hear was that I didn't have to go. It was an unexpected, but pleasant surprise.
I was lounging on the couch and watching re-runs of Brooklyn-nine-nine when my phone rang.
"I'm here." Lucas said in a sing-song voice.
I checked my pockets, ensuring I had my keys and wallet, before pulling my shoes on and responding, "Coming."
I was out the house and buckled up in his car a few minutes later.
"Hello." I greeted with a smile. "So, did you have a think?"
"Right, so, kinda boring, but," he paused for unneeded dramatic effect, waving his air in the air before suggesting "ice cream."
There was a nervousness in his expression, though it was masked well by his enchanting smile.
"You know I love ice cream." I replied, my words easing his expression.
"There's this new ice cream place that I've been wanting to try, and I thought we could go. It's not too far out."
"That's fine with me."
"Good." He smiled back at me, his gaze lingering for a moment before he turned around and started the car.
As Lucas pulled away from the curb, he handed me his phone and told me to put on some music. I wasn't sure what he wanted, but I opted for a more peaceful vibe, relishing in the relaxing atmosphere between the two of us.
"Whenever I imagine just upping and leaving, you know, packing my bags after graduation, hoping in a car and travelling - no thoughts, no cares, just me and the road - this is the type of music I listen to. It feels freeing." I admitted after letting the sounds soak in and absorbing its uplifting melody and meaningful words.
"Is that what you want to do after graduation?"
"Maybe someday. I don't know if or when, but it's just something the music makes me want to do. These are the type of songs that beg to be listened to on open roads, and late nights, when memories are being made and stories created."
"Play me some more of their songs." I tried to gauge his expression, curious as to if he was actually enjoying the music I had put on or was just humouring me.
"You're going to wish you hadn't said that, because now it's all you're gonna get."
"That's fine with me."
"This is one of my favourites," I told Lucas for the fourth time in a row, each song being - in my opinion - equally as good as the last. Lucas made comments now and then about my singing skills, but otherwise seemed to be actually listening to the music. I appreciated that.
"I like how they tell a story, but their music seems pretty deceiving." He said part way through the song.
"Why?"
"Well, often the melody tells you something very different than the lyrics."
I pondered that, before admitting, "this one, though, I think matches."
"But the music is upbeat, and he's singing about how he doesn't want to be left alone, right? How he doesn't want his lover to leave him?"
"I guess it could be interpreted different ways, but I think his words are hopeful. He's saying how he'd imagined a life without them, and he doesn't want that. He's hopeful that his dream won't become a reality."
Lucas hummed in thought, "play it again?"
My music played in the background for rest of the car journey. Lucas occasionally chimed in with questions, but otherwise let me ramble on about the best parts of certain songs. He didn't seem to get annoyed when I got excited and replayed my favourite parts, he just shook his head while laughing and I took that as encouragement enough to carry on.
"Well," I said once Lucas parked the car and the music stopped, "we'll have to listen to your music on the way back."
"I enjoyed yours though."
"Really?"
"Really." Lucas assured.
"Still," I drew the words out, followed by a huff. My faux annoyance only causing Lucas' smile to grow wider.
"How about I make you a playlist?"
"A playlist full of your favourite songs?" I question, my excitement fully evident in my voice. Boy did he know the way to my heart.
There was a slight twinkle in his eyes when he smiled at me and said, "Yeah, but you have to make me one as well."
"Happily." I replied before hopping out the car.
The ice cream shop was small, but clearly popular. There was limited indoor seating and almost all of it was occupied. The design was simple, white walls and a stone floor. There were plants filling the empty space, the green leaves and colourful flowers giving life to the place.
A lively atmosphere greeted us as we walked in, the guests chatting animatedly and the workers engaging with customers. Lucas and I joined the back of the queue, both peering around the group in front of us to see what was on offer.
"Anything you fancy?" I asked Lucas after we'd both glanced at the flavours.
Lucas ended up getting a scoop of pistachio and a scoop of hazelnut -Â I'm not gonna make the joke, but... - and I chose a scoop of sea salt and caramel and a scoop of stracciatella.
"So I had a nightmare the other night.," Lucas began as we sat down at one of the tables, "I was was being being chased and at first I wasn't sure what was chasing, but I knew I was afraid of it. It was dark, eerily quiet and I was running down back roads and alleyways. When I thought I'd made it was enough away, bam! The letter B appears in front of me and I was so scared I woke up screaming."
Through my laughter I managed to say, "You were scared of a letter?"
"Terrified. Genuinely one of my worst nightmares. I couldn't look at the letter B for the whole day."
My laughter only got more intense after that and Lucas patiently waited for me to calm down. His ice cream was half gone by the time I was able to function again.
"What about you? Any funny nightmares or weird dreams?"
There were two problem with that, one I hardly slept, and two, when I did it was, more often than not, plagued with all too realistic nightmares. Sleep rarely seemed worth it.
"I don't normally remember my dreams." I said, though after thinking I did remember one drunken dream worth sharing, "pretty recently though I dreamt I was being baby-sat by a talking worm. I think his name was Mr Flipply-floppy, no idea why, and when he spoke he sounded like Mike Myers. but as The Cat in the Hat."
"That feels like a good casting decision, I could see it. The Worm in the... urn."
"Urn? He was a baby sitter."
"Maybe he lived in an urn and got carted around. I don't know, this is your dream."
"This wasn't a part of the dream. Anyway, it's my turn now. Let me think. Oh I've got one, if you could remove one word from the dictionary, what would it be?"
"Swagger. It's just so ugly."
"An answer came to you a lot faster than I anticipated. I'm guessing you have a favourite word as well then?"
"Quintessential."
"Do you just think about these things in your spare time?"
"But it's such a nice word, and you asked."
We carried on like that, eating our ice cream and asking each other random questions. It was nice being with Lucas; talking was easy and silences lack any awkwardness - each others presence felt like enough.
When we finally made our way to Lucas' car I wished time moved by slower so I could live in these moments longer.
---
A/N:
If anyone wants to know, I was listening to Lord Huron when I wrote the part in the car. The song I imagined them talking about is called Lonesome Dreams.
It's worth a listen if folky/indie music is your thing (it was actually in my playlist I included in the A/N chapter so if you didn't see that, but want to see what songs I think fit the vibe of the book go have a looksy).