On Friday, at lunch, Grayson sat beside me again.
"Have you ever played D&D?" Craig asked directly.
Grayson nearly choked on his sandwich in surprise. "Uh, no. I played some Runescape, though. A long time ago."
"Oh my gosh," Tanner said. "Runescape. That takes me back."
"Did you also play?" Regan asked.
"Yeah? No way, you did too?"
"Yeah!" he said enthusiastically. "I remember putting so many hours into finding a buddy for the Shield of Arrav quest."
"No way, I totally had the same problem."
Regan laughed. "Imagine if we had known each other back then."
Tanner turned to his boyfriend with a serious look on his face. "We should complete it now. Get revenge on the quest together."
"Really?" Regan seemed to melt on the spot, a soft smile on his face. "You want to befriend me on Runescape?"
"Anyway," Aria said. "While the two nerds over there fall even more in love with each other, let's talk about you, Grayson."
Grayson visibly paled. "Uh..."
"Yeah, I'm curious, too. What do you do in your free time?" Craig asked. "Like, what's your favourite movie? Which school subject do you hate?"
"Uh..." Grayson's eyes dropped to his hands. He's wringing them nervously on his lap. "It's not that interesting, really."
I could tell the attention was getting too much.
"What kind of question is that?" I asked jokingly. "Which subject do you hate, Craig?"
"Oof." Craig scrunched up his face. "That's hard, considering there are so many."
Aria laughed. "Right?"
"It's a tie between math and physics, I think. I don't like the abstract stuff."
"Ugh, for me it's definitely gym," Aria said.
"At least you don't have to run as many laps as the guys," Craig said. "Man, if there's one thing I miss from before coming out, it's definitely how little I had to do in gym class."
"Oh, I thought for sure it would be the not-smelly locker room," I said, smiling.
He groaned. "Don't remind me."
"I love gym," Grayson said quietly. "But I'm no good at languages. I can't, uh, French."
"Same," Aria sighed. "I want so badly to be fluent in it, but it's like, I don't know, it just sounds shitty when I try to pronounce all those consonants."
A small smile spread on Grayson's lips. Not his usual, relaxed, lopsided smile, but one that felt hesitantly positive.
It's progress, and it made me happy.
Grayson chose that moment to look at me. His eyes widened in surprise, and I realized I'd been watching him with a smile.
"Uh, what about you?" Grayson asked quickly, eyes dropping down again.
"I don't hate any subject," I said, and then, because I could see he was trying, "I really like school."
It's the taboo thing to say, usually. It's definitely not considered cool. But it's the truth.
Grayson didn't seem to mind, apparently, because he looked up and cracked the lopsided smile that's quickly becoming my new favourite thing. "I figured you did."
"It's the glasses," Aria said. "It makes him look like someone who likes school."
"I don't know," Craig added. "I think that without them he looks like a baby."
"I'm not inviting friends here again," I said. "All you do is insult me."
"You know we love you," Aria said. "That's why we make fun of you. To show our love."
Craig nodded.
I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth to tease them right back, when I heard beside me, "Can I see what you look like without glasses?"
The question surprised me.
I turned to Grayson. "Sure."
For a split second, I worried I looked awful without my glasses. I so rarely took them off in front of a mirror that I had no idea what I looked like without.
Still.
It's Grayson Rogers. I knew he wouldn't laugh at me.
When I took off my glasses, everything behind Grayson became blurry, unfocused, while he became the focus of my world.
Silently, he looked at me. Actually looked at me.
"How much can you see right now?"
"I can see you."
Grayson was silent. He didn't smile, or joke, or focus on anything other than me.
It made my heart beat wildly inside my chest, wilder than when my mouth was on Grayson's.
"And?" I asked, when the staring became a little much. "How do I look?"
"Like you're looking into the sun," he said seriously.
A surprised laugh escaped my lips. "Thanks."
Grayson smiled, too.
"Well," Craig said. "I still think he looks like a baby."
"Yeah." Aria nodded.
***
On Friday, at the end of the school day, we're walking towards Grayson's truck.
The stares were finally getting less, I noticed. Not that I minded them any less.
It made me feel oddly protective of Grayson.
I wanted to stand in front of him, even though with his height it would be fairly pointless, and shout at the others that they didn't know, they just didn't know what a wonderful person Grayson was. They didn't know that he's a feminist, that his injuries were from trees and rocks and science, and that he had trouble talking to people because his parents were never good at communicating.
"You okay?" Grayson asked, startling me out of my thoughts.
"Yes, why wouldn't I be?"
"You're frowning." He tilted his head slightly. "Almost glaring. Like you want to slash someone's tires."
I huffed out a surprised laugh. "You know I wouldn't."
"Nah, I'm not so sure."
When I turned to him in shock, I found him smiling at me obviously teasing. Teasing me for the first time. Like friends did.
My heart danced inside my chest.
***
Time had never crept by for me, but with Grayson in my every day, it just flew by.
It's a nice and slightly stressful feeling. Sometimes, I wanted to hold onto the time I'd spent with Grayson, but found it as untouchable as gravity.
***
On a Sunday morning, two weeks before the end of the school year, my father looked up from the TV and asked, "Why don't you take the car to school anymore?"
Everyone in the room, which were my mom and brother, so literally everyone, looked up in surprise.
"Didn't you notice?" my mom asked.
"Notice what? We took the car to the garage weeks ago, so that can't be the problem."
"He's been driving to school with Grayson Rogers," my brother explained.
My father's eyebrows rose. "From across the street?"
"Yes," I answered.
"Why?"
Opposite me, my brother rolled his eyes. "Because he's in love with him, obviously."
The words hit me in the gut, and I was glad I was sitting down, or else I would've done something embarrassing like hold on to a chair for support.
"Honestly, darling," my mother said, and leaned over to pat our father on the leg. "You're so slow on the uptake sometimes."
"He's always slow with that sorta stuff," my brother added.
"Don't remind me," our mother said fondly. "I remember how long it took him to figure out I liked him!"
I felt like I was underwater. It wasn't a nice feeling.
Slowly, I turned to look at my parents on the couch. My father in particular.
It's true that he was never really interested in relationships, and that he didn't pick up on them the way my mother or brother did.
I knew I had that from my father. But what was that?
That didn't feel like it's just liking boys. That felt like it's more than gender, and at the same time, that felt like it's the basis of everything.
"Are you okay, Montgomery?" my father asked, looking at me in concern. "You look like you've seen a ghost."
"Not a ghost," I said. I forced myself to blink. "I think I'm like you."
"Well, I know that's true," my mother laughed. "The both of you can be so clueless. Remember that girl in fifth grade, Monty? The one who liked you? You didn't realize you were dating until someone asked and she said yes."
"Could you blame him?" my father said. "She didn't actually ask him."
"I'm not clueless," I said, and the answer to the question was suddenly so very obvious that I couldn't help but smile in relief. "I'm demisexual."
***
On a Sunday night, two weeks before the end of the school year, I laid in bed and suddenly remembered my brother's words.
"Because he's in love with him, obviously."
My heart pounded in my chest. I felt like I'd run a lap around the football field, out of breath and slightly dizzy.
I reached for my phone and squinted as the blue light nearly blinded me.
Me: I'm in love with Grayson Rogers
When I saw the words written down, I felt a sudden rush of fear and excitement all at once.
Then my phone buzzed.
Aria: Yes, you are
Smiling, I let myself fall back on the bed.
A/N:
Aww my baby Monty is in love ð