(For the scene when Jungkook saw Y/N the first time she saved him)
***
As you stand there, the gun heavy in your hand, the finality of what you've just done sinks in. The room is silent except for the sound of your own ragged breathing, mirroring the stillness of the life you just extinguished. Jungkook's gaze is fixed on you, as intense and unreadable as ever, mirroring the way you stare at the fallen man before you.
Without a word, Jungkook signals the men waiting just outside. They enter swiftly, methodically erasing all evidence of the violence that just occurred. As they work, a sickening realization dawns on you, death is very disposable in this world. A different kind of discomfort grips youâa sharp, internal clench that you recognize all too well.
Panic rises as you feel the onset of cramps in your abdomen, a stark reminder of your body's reaction to stress, or perhaps something more. Instinctively, you stand, trying to manage the situation before it overwhelms you completely.
You slowly turn towards Jungkook, who had been watching you closely, waiting for any sign of your internal struggle to surface. Apart from the cramps, you were having a panic attack but you think it was something worse and felt fatal. As you meet his gaze, your eyes are damp and shaken, and your voice barely rises above a whisper. "Hospital," you say, "right now."
The urgency in your voice causes a flicker of alarm to cross his face as he registers the seriousness of your request. He is speechless and confused at your sudden downfall.
As you attempt to stand, your legs buckle under the sudden weight of your own body, making it nearly impossible to remain upright. Sensing your struggle, Jungkook quickly steps in, catching you before you hit the ground. His eyes are filled with deep concern as he notices your labored breathing, the chill spreading through your skin, and your eyes fluttering, unable to focus.
With no hesitation, he scoops you up, carrying you with ease as if the gravity of the situation has lent him extra strength. He rushes you to his car, securing you carefully in the seat before accelerating towards the hospital. During the frantic drive, you manage to muster enough strength to murmur, "I need Hyeyeon at the hospital........." your voice a faint echo of its usual firmness.
He immediately dials her phone number and does as you say while trying to get to the hospital as fast as possible.
--
Jungkook paced restlessly outside the doctor's office, his nerves frayed as he awaited any news. After Hyeyeon steps out, he immediately approaches her, desperation in his eyes. "How is she? What's happening?" he asked urgently.
"She's fine for now," Hyeyeon replied, her tone controlled yet revealing a hint of concern. "Her body succumbed to excessive stress and trauma shock. She's under observation."
"I need to see her," Jungkook insisted, attempting to bypass Hyeyeon, but she firmly blocked his path.
"She specifically asked me to send you away," Hyeyeon stated, her gaze steady. "She doesn't want you here."
Jungkook's expression hardened. "She doesn't know what she's saying," he retorted, trying to push past, but Hyeyeon stood her ground.
"Why can't you respect her wishes for once?" Hyeyeon snapped, her patience wearing thin. "What kind of a man you are? Do you not see what you do to her? Not once but over and over again!" "Ever since she's met you, it's like she's blessed with every nightmare possible!" "Can't you see that every time she suffers or she's hurt, you're involved. Maybe you should just leave her alone for good." "You are slowly killing her. She was so much better off without you in her life!"
Stunned by her words, Jungkook stopped, the weight of her accusations sinking in. Without another word, Hyeyeon turned and left, sealing the door behind her, leaving Jungkook alone in the dimly lit lobby, his own turmoil mirrored in the silence that followed.
Jungkook, visibly frustrated and struggling to contain his emotions, clenched his fists tightly at his sides. The urge to see you was overwhelming, but Hyeyeon's words echoed painfully in his ears. Recognizing the intensity of his emotions and the potential harm his presence could cause, especially given your condition, he made the difficult decision to leave. With a heavy heart, he turned away, his steps echoing loudly in the quiet hospital corridor as he departed, grappling with the torment of leaving you behind when all he wanted was to be by your side.
--
Three days later, you were recovering under Hyeyeon's watchful care, a constant presence ensuring your well-being. During breakfast, the concern was evident in the air.
"Feeling any better today?" Jin inquired, looking up from his breakfast to gauge your condition.You managed a nod, your thoughts still swirling with recent events, barely touching the food on your plate.
"Hyeyeon, thank you for looking after her," Jin expressed his gratitude, acknowledging Hyeyeon's dedication with a sincere tone.
Hyeyeon smiled softly, replying with a gentle nod, her care for you apparent in her attentive gaze.
"As we're all set to return to Seoul tomorrow," Jin continued, shifting the focus to logistical matters, "I want everything tied up here. Jimin, Taehyung, please send out a memo for tonight's dinner and meeting."
"Got it," Taehyung confirmed, understanding the importance of the gathering Jin was organizing.
"Ladies, please feel free to join us tonight," Jin began, addressing Hyeyeon, Miyeon, and you with a cordial invitation. "There are some important matters I need to discuss at the meetingâ"
"I'm good," you interjected curtly, rising from your chair with your dish in hand and heading to the kitchen without another word, leaving a palpable tension in your wake.
As the others watched your retreating figure, concerned glances were exchanged around the table. Jin's voice broke the uneasy silence, his tone laced with frustration. "Someone needs to find out exactly what the hell happened that night, and where the hell has Jungkook been for the past three days?"
Taehyung sighed, rubbing his forehead. "I've tried calling him, texting, even reached out to the staff at all our properties. There's no sign of him anywhere."
Jimin, focusing on his meal, added confidently, "He does this from time to time. Jungkook will surface when he's ready. He's aware of the meeting tonight; he's never missed one before. Let's just hope he shows up."
The group nodded, uneasily, hoping for Jungkook's timely appearance to shed some light on the unresolved issues.
---
That afternoon, you found a quiet escape at your uncle's grave, a book in hand, just needing to get away from everyone for a while. It was peaceful there, and you really got some time to think, even though it was shadowed by a simmering anger that you couldn't quite shake off or even fully grasp.
Later on, you headed back home, determined to pack your bags and leave behind all the memories that haunted you. You took a cold shower, trying to cool down and wash off the emotional residue, but it clung to you stubbornly. Dressed casually in linen shorts and an off-shoulder shirt, you began to pack, each item you tossed into your suitcase marking a step away from a past that felt too heavy to carry any longer.
As you packed, the anger that had been building up felt more present, a raw, directionless energy that you didn't know how to handle. Ever since that terrifying night and the draining hours in the hospital, something inside you had shifted. You were numbing out, shutting down emotions just to keep moving.
Overwhelmed and feeling as if the walls of your room were closing in, you find yourself sitting on the edge of your bed, grappling with a sense of lost purpose. Breathing heavily, the weight of everything becomes almost unbearable. You reach for the medication prescribed by the doctor, the pills feeling like both a lifeline and a chain.
Tears stream down your cheeks, blurring your vision as you stare blankly at the ceiling, waiting for them to dry. The room feels stifling, the air too thick to breathe, and a desperate need for a drink hits you. You realize your water bottle is empty.
With shaky legs and uneven breaths, you make your way to the kitchen. As you stand at the sink watching the water bottle fill slowly, impatience gnaws at you, escalating with every slow drip. Clutching the edge of the counter, you tap your foot rapidly, a physical manifestation of your spiraling thoughts.
In a second, you chug the water down and feel the medication kicking in, giving you some comfort to survive the night in loneliness.
You barely slept that night. It was just you dealing with your physical and mental health, alone.
---
Returning to Seoul felt like a breath of fresh air. Your house, your safe place, provided a sense of relief and security that you hadn't felt in a long time. Leaving Busan behind was like shedding a heavy burden of nightmares and traumatic memories.
For the first few days, you focused on getting your life back on track. You filled the emptiness with routine, slowly rebuilding a sense of normalcy. It wasn't perfect, but it was better. The days passed in a blur, each one a small step towards healing.
One evening, as you were settling into your new routine, there was a knock on the door. The sound startled you, a reminder of the recent chaos you had left behind. Taking a deep breath, you walked towards the door and opened it, curious to see who it could be.
Standing there was Hyeyeon, a warm smile on her face. "Hey, I brought some food," she said, holding up a bag of takeout. "Thought we could have a quiet dinner together."
You smiled, feeling a rush of gratitude. "That sounds perfect. Come in."
As you set the table, Hyeyeon chatted about her day, filling the silence with her cheerful presence. For a moment, it felt like old times. The familiar comfort of her company made the emptiness seem a little less daunting.
"How are you feeling?" she asked gently, her eyes full of concern.
"I'm better," you replied, taking a deep breath. "Seoul feels like home. It's good to be back."Hyeyeon nodded, understanding. "You went through a lot. But you're strong, Y/N. You'll get through this."
You appreciated her words, even if you didn't fully believe them yet. But having her there, supporting you, made you feel a little more hopeful.
"How is Jimin and everyone else?" you ask as you both clean up the dishes from dinner.
"They're good, but..." Hyeyeon hesitates, her brow furrowing.
"But what?" you prompt, sensing something is off.
"They're worried about Jungkook. They haven't heard from him since that night you were in the hospital," she explains. "It's been almost a month, and that's the longest he's ever been unreachable. Usually, if he's gone, it's for a week at most, and there's always a way to track him."
Hearing this, you feel a pang of annoyance seeing yourself a tad bit worrying about the man who has ruined you. You try not to care.
Hyeyeon sighs, her shoulders slumping. "I feel like it's my fault. I might have said some cruel things to him that night. I was just so upset seeing you in that state, and he wouldn't leave. I might have pushed him over the edge."
You try to stay indifferent, but curiosity creeps into your thoughts. "What exactly did you say?"
"I told him to leave you alone. I blamed him for everything and told him he was the reason you were hurt. I said some really harsh things," she admits, guilt evident in her voice.
You breathe hard knowing nothing wrong was spoken.
"Taehyung and Miyeon are really struggling too," Hyeyeon continues with a sigh. "They've been arguing a lot, and Taehyung seems really distracted lately. It's like he's not fully present. I just hope Jungkook comes back soon. Without him, everything feels out of balance."
She pauses, her eyes reflecting her worry. "Jungkook is amazing at giving advice and consoling his hyungs, even better than Taehyung sometimes. He was such a huge support for Jimin and me when we were trying to be together. He's done so much for Taehyung and Miyeon too. It's all falling apart without him."
"They've all been there for each other through everything," she adds, her voice tinged with sadness. "Their bond is deeper than we realize. It's like they're each other's anchors, and without Jungkook, they're drifting apart."
"Don't worry about it," you reassure her. "Just focus on you and Jimin for now. You both need to spend time with each other. Neither of you has had a break since that whole ordeal."
Hyeyeon nods, trying to smile. "We'll be fine. But Jimin is starting to worry about me. He's rethinking bringing me into his world. In short, he's acting like Jungkook right now," she laughs, a mix of amusement and exasperation in her voice.
You chuckle softly, appreciating the lighter moment. "Well, at least he's looking out for you. Just take things one step at a time."
Hyeyeon sighs, her smile fading slightly. "I guess. I just hope everything works out for all of us."
As you both finish cleaning up, you feel like a hostage to the thoughts about Jungkook still being missing. Hyeyeon later leaves, and you start getting ready for bed. You change into your pajamas and slide under the covers, hoping for sleep to come. For the next hour, you keep changing your position, unable to find any comfort. Every thought circles back to Jungkook and his whereabouts. His absence feels like a heavy weight pressing on your chest.
You soon give up trying to sleep and grab your phone from the bedside table. You sit up, staring at the screen, his contact glowing back at you. You hesitate for a moment before dialing his number. The phone rings, echoing loudly in the dark, silent room. Each ring feels like an eternity, the hope in your chest dwindling with each unanswered call.
Just as you are about to pull the phone away from your ear, resigned to the fact that he won't answer, the call connects. "Hello?" Jungkook's voice comes through the line, rough and quiet.
Your heart skips a beat, relief and anxiety crashing over you
You remain silent for a long second, just listening to his existence, not knowing what to say. "I didn't expect you to answer. You haven't been answering anyone else."
"When have I ever not answered your call?" he speaks in a deep, quiet voice.
Now that you think about it, he really does always answer you.
"Wherever you are, you need to come back," you say.
"Why?" he asks.
"Because everything is falling apart without you. Everyone needs you here," you say.
"Why do YOU want me to come back?" he presses.
"Because I care about them," you say.
"They'll be fine without me," he says. "Is that all?" he asks.
"Yes," you reply, now agitated with his attitude.
"Alright. Good night," he says, hanging up abruptly.
"How dare he?" you gasp at his audacity.
You look at the phone, and reconsider, your eyes growing angrier. You call him back again, and he answers as usual.
"First of all, don't you dare hang up on me again. And second of allâ" you choke up.
"Second of all, I want you back because I hate you for what you did to me, and I want to beat the shit out of you for it. I hate you so much! Fuck you. You say you want me to stay away from you, but then you throw a violent fit if I don't need you. You don't know what you want, and that's torture for me. Ever since you came into my life, it's been hell, but I didn't complain because I'm an idiot. I thought as long as you were there, I could go through anything because you'd save me, protect me. But guess what? It turns out you're the one I should have been wary of all along. You made me kill someone! Who does that? You push me away so many times but always pull me back so hard, and now I'm a mess. I'm so frustrated. I just really want to punch you right now. I hate you, I hate you!" you say it all in one breath, nothing really made sense but you kept saying whatever you felt with tears welling up in your eyes. The randomness was the mirror of your overwhelming feelings lately.
There's silence on the other end of the line, the weight of your words hanging heavily in the air.
"Open the door," he says softly, throwing you off the edge and catching you completely off guard.
"What?" you stammer, taken aback by his sudden request.
"Open the door, Y/N," he repeats, his voice steady but insistent.
You hesitate for a moment, your mind racing. The last thing you expected was for him to be right outside. Your hands tremble as you get up and walk to the door. With a deep breath, you unlock it and pull it open, revealing Jungkook standing there, his eyes full of a mix of emotions.
"I'm here," he says, stepping inside. "Go ahead and punch me, slap me, beat the shit out of me." "I am all yours"
Seeing him there riles up a whirlwind of emotions. Tears fill your eyes, and your breath escalates. In the next moment, your hand rises and delivers a tight slap across his cheek. But before he can even react, you grab his shirt and pull him into a mad, desperate kiss.
Jungkook stands stunned for a second, yet not surprised, then wraps his arms around you, cupping your cheek, deepening the kiss. The intensity of your emotions pours into that moment, every bit of frustration, anger, and longing melding together. The kiss is both a release and a confrontation, speaking all the words neither of you could find before.
When you finally break apart, you're both breathless, staring at each other with a mix of confusion and clarity. "I hate you," you whisper, tears streaming down your face. "But I also can't live without you."
"I know," he replies, his voice rough with emotion. "And I can't live without you either. You drive me so fucking crazy"
"I love you, Ahn Y/N".