Chapter 65: Chapter 65: Catching Up

A/N: Tony has wronged Thor greatly. Poor Thor v.v

-x-X-x-

Before Tony can say a word, Thor arrives before him, stopping a few feet short and flaring his nostrils before speaking.

“Tony Stark of House Stark, King of Midgard. The All-Father extends an invitation for you to join him for an audience on Asgard.”

Sorry, what? Tony blinks owlishly, so taken aback by Thor’s opening words that he honestly doesn’t even know what to say. He was well aware that Thor had gotten it in his head that Tony was some sort of monarch-in-hiding, and that he secretly ruled Midgard as it’s king from behind the scenes. Which… in some ways, wasn’t entirely wrong. It wasn’t unfair to say that Tony Stark was the most powerful man in the world. He was certainly the richest.

And before he was done, he’d have gathered more power as well. Right now, he still had people he had to answer to… or rather, Tony still had people who thought he had to answer to them. Eventually that would no longer be the case. But then, he supposed that was where the ‘hidden’ part of ‘hidden king’ came into play.

Except… it was one thing for Thor to come to that sort of conclusion. Tony loved the guy, but the Prince of Asgard was a big beefy blond himbo, through and through. Smart? Sure. Wise? He still had a long way to go in that department, despite having literally been alive for a thousand years.

However, this sounded like Odin, Thor’s father and the King of Asgard and the Nine Realms… ALSO believed that Tony was some sort of monarch in the shadows. Again, it wasn’t an entirely inaccurate description of what he’d been working towards, but he’d still never been of royal lineage. The Stark Family could not trace its roots back to any royal bloodline on Earth as far as he knew. Unless one counted Genghis Khan. Tony had always felt he had a little Genghis in him.

So struck with stupefaction by Thor’s initial words, Tony just stands there like a slack jawed idiot, prompting Thor to continue on after a brief pause.

“You will of course be allowed to bring a retinue of up to four guards as befits a visiting foreign monarch. So long as their weapons are on full display, they will be allowed into the Palace itself. However, they will have to wait outside of the meeting room.”

Finally realizing that Thor is reciting shit that had clearly been told to him until he’d had it memorized, and also noting the incredibly clipped way that the Asgardian Prince is speaking as he glares harshly at Tony… he cuts in. Raising his hands to cut the God of Thunder off, Tony shakes his head.

“Thor, buddy. Let’s back up a little bit. I mean… I’d be honored to accept your father’s invitation, don’t get me wrong. But first… good to see you, Shield-Bro? Been over a year since we last got to talk. Seems like you maybe have something to say to me… something about Loki, perhaps?”

Thor’s nostrils flare and for a moment Tony thinks the God is going to take a swing on him. Honestly, it makes sense that Thor would know. Tony had went back and forth on the matter in his head a thousand times before coming to that conclusion. Sure, everything Tony knew about Odin said that the King of Asgard was notorious for keeping secrets from people, secrets that really shouldn’t have been kept.

From Loki’s true nature, to Hela’s existence and Asgard’s foundations… hell, even Thor himself had confided in Tony that it had taken his father dying and visiting him in his dreams to finally learn that he didn’t need Mjolnir to control lightning and thunder.

How ridiculous was that? Thor was over a thousand years old! He was literally the God of Thunder! And not once had he even TRIED to channel his godly powers through anything but his hammer in all those centuries. Not until Mjolnir was destroyed, Hela was about to kill him, and Odin finally gave him a little bit of advice.

So yeah, there was every possibility that Odin would keep the deal he’d made with Tony secret from Thor as well. However, Tony knew for a fact that he must have told him… because if Thor didn’t know, then he would have been back on Earth, trying to hunt Loki down months ago. As soon as the Tesseract had finished repairing the Bifrost, Thor would have been back here searching for his wayward sister to bring her to justice.

When he’d never shown up, Tony had known beyond a shadow of a doubt that someone must have told him.

Indeed, though his nostrils flare and Thor looks angry for a second, he shakes his head and the moment passes.

“I am aware of the contract that you, Loki, and my father have all signed, Tony Stark. If Loki herself had not signed it of her own accord, then I would have had far more than just some harsh words for you. But her willingness to remain in your charge and attempt to redeem herself in your care… stayed my hand.”

Huh. Well then, that was nice? Yeah, let’s go with that. It was nice to hear that Thor wasn’t going to try to pick a fight with Tony over his sister.

“Glad to hear it, buddy. Then what’s got you so upset? Is it the Aether? Because I’ve already got it figured out. Not dying anymore. Well, not dying any faster than I was before.”

Thor pauses at that, peering at Tony.

“Is that what you disappeared into that portal to do, Stark? Heimdall says you left his sight for a short time and then came back in a state of worrying distress. However, over time you were able to… steady yourself, or so he said.”

Huffing, Thor waves his free hand through the air.

“I care not about that either, though my father no doubt wishes to ask you about it. From his tone, I got the impression that you have surprised him one time too many, Stark.”

… Yeah, that tracked. Honestly, Tony had never quite known if Odin and Heimdall knew about his time travel. He’d told JARVIS the truth all those years ago, and technically Heimdall could have seen that and informed Odin of what Tony claimed to have done. But the thing was, Heimdall only had one set of eyes. He could see and hear all across the Nine Realms, but he couldn’t comprehend everything at once. If he could do that, he would be more powerful than Odin himself.

Seeing as Odin hadn’t taken action before now, Tony would tentatively assume that his time travel, or rather dimensional travel, remained a secret for now. However, there was simply no denying that he knew too much. After Thor fell to Earth, after Loki teleported in to invade the planet, Tony suspected that Heimdall and Odin had been keeping a much closer eye on the place, and that meant they probably knew most of what Tony was up to.

Given all of that, Tony would be very careful and very respectful with the All-Father, in an effort to not piss off the incredibly powerful King of Asgard. Odin wasn’t his enemy anyways, so there was no reason for them to come to blows, or so Tony had hoped. That was half the reason he’d made sure to send the Tesseract back to Asgard, to make it clear to the All-Father that he wasn’t power hungry for the sake of power hungry.

Now that he’d seized the Aether for himself though, Odin was no doubt growing wary of him. He had questions that only Tony could answer. In that light, the invitation made sense.

… However, Tony wasn’t really focused on all of that. Feeling a little put-out at this point, he frowns at Thor.

“Alright, so if it’s not Loki and it’s not the Aether… why are you pissed at me, big guy? I thought we were friends and you won’t even call me by my first name anymore!”

Thor hesitates, looking taken aback at being so directly confronted over his sulking. Because that’s what it is, Tony has since realized. Thor, God of Thunder, is sulking about something. And if it isn’t his sister and it isn’t the Reality Stone… what gives?

After wrestling with himself for a moment, Thor finally scowls and indeed almost pouts as he points Mjolnir at Tony.

“I am wrothful with you, Tony Stark, because of your relations with Lady Sif before she and I left for Asgard!”

Wait, seriously? Tony can’t help but be a little annoyed.

“Look Thor, what happened between Sif and I was completely above board, between two consenting adults. And I’m sorry if you maybe had a thing for her, but honestly I figured you’d put her in the friend zone. Don’t you like Jane? Dr. Foster?”

Thor mouths the words ‘friend zone’, rather fairly not comprehending what Tony is talking about. Then, he scowls angrily.

“Lady Sif is my friend, yes! And I did quite enjoy the company of the scholar Jane Foster! However, that is not the problem, Tony! The problem isn’t that you and Sif laid together! The problem is that you got her with child! And then I had to spend the next nine months dealing with a Pregnant Lady Sif!”

… What.

Thor’s anger bleeds away, to be replaced with the look of a tortured, forlorn man. He gives Tony a haunted look, dropping Mjolnir to the ground with a clang as it strikes the concrete outside the factory. Stepping forward, he grabs Tony by the shoulders, clutching him tight.

“Have you ever been around a pregnant Asgardian Warrior, Tony? I had not. Not before Lady Sif. Besides her, none of our women have carried the blade and donned armor since the time of the ancient Valkyrie, those mythological warrior women who died out before I was born. Asgardian Women are bad enough when pregnant. But Lady Sif is the first Asgardian Woman to truly choose the path of a warrior for a thousand years! And then you went and got her pregnant!”

A shudder runs through the God of Thunder’s body and he lets out an honest to goodness whimper.

“It was Hel, Tony. Complete and utter Hel.”

Tony’s mouth opens and closes a few times. Until finally, Thor shakes him. Distantly, some part of Tony notes that he feels it a hell of a lot less than he would have before becoming some sort of Human-Vibranium Hybrid with the Aether running through his veins.

“Say something, Stark!”

Right. He probably should say something. Words. He’s give with words.

“I… I have another child?”

That’s not quite what he intended to say, but it does the trick. Thor blinks and then looks at least somewhat chagrined.

“Ah… ahem. Well… yes. A daughter. You have a daughter, Tony Stark.”

Seeming to realize that he’s grabbed onto Tony in a fit of pique, Thor lets go of his shoulders and takes a step back, muttering under his breath as his eyes narrow a bit.

“Hm… heavier than I would have expected.”

Tony though is too distracted to notice. He had another daughter. Morgan had a half-sister. To be fair, Natasha was due to pop any day now, and apparently that one was going to be a girl too. Oh god, was he cursed to have all daughters? That sounded too horrible to even consider. Though at least they would all be eminently capable of defending themselves. Not that it would stop him from defending them as well.

Shit. He was rambling. His mind was all over the place. Focus.

Compartmentalizing everything, Tony pulls himself out of his wayward thoughts and looks to Thor.

“I think I’m going to have to take you up on that offer of a retinue after all, Thor.”

The God of Thunder just blinks, before slowly nodding.

-x-X-x-

How did you dress for a cross-planetary trip to a place where the people in charge thought THEY were gods and YOU were royalty? That’s the million dollar question, Tony figures. Fortunately, they’ve got Vibranium Nanites to handle things for them.

As they prepare for their little trip to Asgard, Tony is using his Technopathy combined with the insane versatility of the Aether’s power to play around with outfits for him, Pepper, and their ‘retinue’. In this case, They’re not actually bringing anyone… except for JARVIS, hopefully.

The transponder hadn’t worked when Tony had gone through the portal in the UK, but he was hoping that was just because Bor hid the Aether so fucking deep down that it was beyond JARVIS’ means. Equally, he was hoping that Asgard was NOT beyond JARVIS’ means.

There was an argument to be made for bringing more people, of course. Like maybe Peggy for muscle or Darcy because she was Pepper’s assistant. But in the end, it just didn’t make sense. Pepper was only going to be gone for a day, while Tony might be gone a little longer given who he knew was after the Reality Stone in this current time period.

In the meantime, Darcy and Peggy would be the ones holding down the fort at first, followed by Pepper taking care of things once she got back from Asgard.

It never even crossed Tony’s mind to keep Pepper from coming along, of course. While he’d originally intended for it to be a solo trip when he’d first heard about Odin’s invitation, the moment he learned that Sif was pregnant, he knew that Pepper would skin him alive if he kept her out of it. In the end, Tony and Pepper had to go and everyone else had to stay. JARVIS, as was his privilege as a being of significantly more processing power than most of them, would do both.

As Pepper is giving some last minute instructions to Darcy while Tony is using his mind to have her dress and his suit transforming into more and more regal clothing by the second, Thor steps up to Tony’s side and clears his throat.

“Are you almost ready to depart, Tony?”

At least Thor had dropped the titles and also the use of his last name. If anything, seeing the women worked up into a frenzy over Sif’s baby had left Thor re-finding his brotherhood with Tony. Misery loved company, after all.

Nodding, Tony glances to the JARVIS-inhabited Vibranium Nanotech Suits to his left and right. Technically he was allowed to bring up to four guards, but he’d decided it was just going to be him, Pepper, and JARVIS in two suits. Also technically, he could field more suits for literally all three of them to pilot AND remotely control at a moment’s notice, so it felt like a bit of a compromise. Just one that Asgard didn’t know it was making.

“… Yeah, I’d say we’re ready. Pep? Baby’s waiting.”

Those prove to be the magical words, as Pepper tears herself away from Darcy and steps over to Tony’s side. Running her hands along the shimmering, flowing dress of Vibranium Nanites that Tony has put her in, she looks herself over for a moment before nodding with a sigh.

“Not exactly attire for meeting a new member of the family… but it is attire for meeting royalty. Alright then, let’s go. What’s the hold up, Tony?”

At Pepper’s impatient question, delivered in spite of HER being the hold up, Tony shares a commiserating look with Thor and is glad to see it returned. Then he glances to the two JARVIS suits.

“Alright J. Let’s see if that transponder works a little bit closer to home, shall we?”

“As you say, Sir.”

Finally, Tony nods to Thor.

“We’re ready.”

Looking up at the night sky on the roof of Stark Tower, Thor raises Mjolnir up.

“Heimdall! Bring us home!”

A moment later and the Bifrost covers them all in its rainbow light, before pulling them violently through space, all the way to Asgard.

-x-X-x-

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A/N: Next time, Asgard!

Man, I'm glad I didn't say something like "you guys will never figure out why Thor is REALLY angry" in last chapter's Closing Author's Note, because some of you guys guessed it in like 5 minutes lmaaaao.