...so he basically killed everyone who dared to even look at him in a wrong way.''
Katherine and I were sitting in the small study I once found. I managed to convince Ronan to let me talk with her alone after kissing his ass for twenty minutes straight and promising him I won't leave the building. I wouldn't want to upset my nanny, a.k.a the monster.
I sat on the couch, legs curled underneath me, covering myself in a warm blanket, with a mug of that special tea in my hands. I must take precautions. Now, Kat was telling everything I needed to know that happened here while I was enjoying my freedom back in the city.
''When you left'' she continued, cradling her baby in her arms ''he got... mad. Literally mad. One wrong step could have gotten you killed. Once one of the omegas was carrying two buckets of water and, well, he splashed some of it on Ronan's shoes. Ronan made the poor bastard to wipe them clean with his shirt and then killed him.''
''Holly Jesus, he finally did it. He officially got out of his mind.'' I mumble more to myself that to her. He actually killed his pack members for this... It's the Ronan we all know and love.
We were sitting here for two hours now and I was just happy to finally talk with someone other than Ronan. Well, I actually haven't had a proper conversation with him either till yesterday evening, so now, after a month being locked up, I was craving for any kind of human contact. And I really liked Kat. She didn't judge me for leaving the pack, she didn't blame me for what happened here while I was gone. Hanna, on the other hand...
Kat went on. ''I was pregnant at the time, Rick wouldn't let me outside unless I really had to, so I can't tell you a full story, but I heard enough. That omega wasn't the only one. He killed Mason, the gamma, because he told Ronan that there's no point in looking for you. Poor bastard.''
Oh, so he was the one missing at the breakfast table yesterday... At this point, nothing surprised me anymore. Ronan was a psychotic piece of trash that enjoyed abusing others. How lucky I am to be his destined mate.
''He was training like crazy, too. Looked like he was preparing for World War III or something. And all of these nights spent in his office or in the other cities or... It was hard for everyone. I was so happy for you, that you escaped, but with every passing day it was clearer and clearer that Ronan wouldn't stop looking. It was just a matter of time for him to find you.''
I shuddered. All of the time I was away, I thought that Ronan let me go. That I was actually free. It was strange to think about that while I was working or having fun with my friends, Ronan was actively looking for me, lifting every damn stone...
''And when he brought you back... Well, everyone eased up a little. He's still scaring every single one of us, but trust me, it's better now. But Eira... prepare yourself, everyone will judge you for leaving.''
She was right. I could see that already. Hanna wouldn't even meet my eyes and all the males were looking at me like I was some kind rotten filth in their path.
''And how... How are you holding up?'' I asked, changing the subject. I didn't want to think about the fact that I'll have to live among the people who hated my guts. Kat shifted uncomfortably, bringing her baby closer to herself. He was dozing out at this moment.
''Well, Rick got better. Ever since he found out about the pup, he was basically carrying me in his hands. He actually treated me nicely. Except the fact that I was basically held in prison. I couldn't even walk to the bathroom without telling him.
Once I woke up in the middle of the night starving for something savory, you know, pregnancy cravings, so I went to the kitchen. Five minutes later he dashes down the stairs screaming my name. And I just stand there, with damn cheese and peanut butter in my hands... Long story short, he threatened me to tie me up to him unless I let him know where I go all the time. So I made sure to wake up at least four times every night and shake him awake, telling him I need to pee. After a week of this, he let me wander the house without telling, how kind of him.''
I chuckle, imagining the scene. Kat never actually lost her soul. She's too much of a fighter.
''And now, when John is here, we fight almost every day, but he won't do anything to me. Not when I gave him a son. I can pull his strings however I want, that dog wouldn't touch a hair on my head. Stupid mutt.''
*****
''Ronan, please.''
''No.''
He changes his clothes while I stand in the middle of his bedroom, my arms crossed. I am going stir crazy, four walls crushing me more and more with each passing day. I have to get out of this house. ''Ronan, I was locked in this room for a whole month.''
He doesn't even look at me. ''Because you haven't been sleeping in my bed for almost two years.'' And it was the best years in my life. I take a deep breath. I need to stay calm if I want to convince him.
''I just want to stretch my legs, my wolf's going crazy. What if I'll take Katherine with me? I won't be alone. You know I won't run away.'' It would be tempting as hell, though.
''Do you want to stay here for another month?''
Damn, he won't budge. But I have to get out of this place. My wolf is legit going wild and I can't contain her any longer. It physically hurts to go against my instincts and confine her for such a long period of time. I close my eyes, knowing what exact words I have to say to make him let me run. I hate this, but I have to do it.
''And if... If you come with me?'' Silence. I caught him off guard.
Finally, he turns, shooting his icy stare at me. I can see him thinking about my offer, trying to figure out if I want to outplay him in some kind of way. His eyes are fixed on me, assessing me. Then, he speaks up. ''I have a lot of shit to do.'' Oh come on.
I'm desperate now. I won't be able to last another day with my wolf raging inside me. ''In the evening, then?'' I hate how small and pleading my voice sounds.
He lets out and exasperated breath and rolls his eyes. Well, one thing has never changed. He's still one hell of a damn drama queen. ''Fine. But if you even take a step out of this house today, you get locked up again, understood?''
''Yes'' I utter through my gritted teeth. He heads towards the door. As he exits, he turns his head to me and smirks ''Now be a good girl and find something useful to do.''
I want to smack his face for saying such things, but I manage to contain myself. He tests me, I tell myself. Suck it up.
So I spent the whole day helping women to clean the house, do the laundry and everything else I was asked to. The only thing I didn't do was to get some firewood for the hearth. Ronan wouldn't like me going outside even for that. I didn't want to risk my chance of freedom.
I was laying on a couch in a study now, waiting for the monster to come back. This room quickly became my favorite place in the entire house. It didn't reek of the monster. I felt... relaxed here, even though I tried to contain my wolf inside me now, to ease her up a little. She wanted to take over so bad I had to fight her every damn second.
Finally, when the moon was high in the night sky, casting silver streaks of light, whispering my wolf to shift, I hear the front door opening and closing. As the person starts climbing the stairs, I know exactly who it is. I recognize his steps, I catch his citrus and jasmine smell. There is no doubt it's him.
It's weird how well I got to know him, his behavior, his smell, even his damn step pattern...
I don't want to think about it too much. so I stand up from the couch I was nestled in, put a book I was trying and failing to read on a desk, take a deep breath and step outside. As I open the door, I almost smack Ronan in the face with it. Sad, I was so close on smashing his nose... But he jumps aside, avoiding the hit, growling lowly. Shit. ''Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to...'' well I kinda did.
To my relief, he doesn't do anything about it, only grabs my hand and leads me outside. As the cold winter's breeze kisses my face, I can't help but feel the relief flooding through me. Now, I don't even care that the monster is with me. I'm just happy I'll finally be able to let my wolf run.
We shift quickly and head to the woods. My wolf wants to run so bad I almost lose myself to her right here and now. Finally, Ronan picks up the speed and I'm free. It's so good to feel the ground beneath my paws, even when it's freezing outside, whiteness covering everything around. And even if I hate the cold, I have to admit that the forest at night looks beautiful in winter's frosty embrace.
I don't catch the exact moment my wolf takes over, but I look through her eyes now, silently watching her, letting do her own thing. She deserved it. I hear the creature running somewhere on my left and my wolf decides it's a snack time. She jumps towards the sound and in an instant, she has a rabbit in her mouth, warm blood dripping from it, covering her chin. I can feel the metalic taste in my mouth.
She starts to tear its belly, but then, a low growling appears behind her. My wolf turns around, growling back, her head low, tail stiff, her prey between her front legs. She's ready to protect what's hers.
It's Ronan's wolf. He's so big and it seems I will never get used to his size. My wolf is tiny compared to his. The wolf comes closer, head held high, teeth bared. My wolf takes one last growl at him, showing more like a temper tantrum rather than the actual threat. She won't fight him, her mate. She backs away.
The brown wolf stomps to my prey, ripping it open and eating almost everything. My wolf only watches from a distance. She won't come anywhere close to the eating Alpha, even if the rabbit was actually hers. She lays down on her belly, putting her head on top of her front paws and watches.
Finally, the Alpha straightens up, leaving some scraps on the ground. He looks at my wolf, letting her get what's left. So she slowly crawls closer, her pose showing submission, and quickly eats the meat.
I can feel how proud she is of the brown wolf being her mate, she appreciates his size, his power. She feels completely fine in giving him her food. That little growling she gave him was just her attitude showing. She feels at ease with this abusive, terrible man. But I can't blame her - the instincts are leading her. And they say she must trust her mate, to try to please him in every possible way. And she has no will to fight against them.
Then, we start running again, my wolf happily picking up the sights and smells of the woods. As we run farther and farther, a cabin appears in front of us. My wolf stops, turning to the brown one to look for some guidance. Is it dangerous around here? Can she come closer? She trusts her mate completely.
But then, Ronan shifts, goes to the cabin and after about ten minutes, emerges fully dressed. What the hell he was doing in that cabin?
Now, he heads towards my wolf. And she doesn't like it at all. She slowly starts to back up, remembering all the things he did to me, baring her teeth, growling quietly, her hackles raised. She trusts his wolf, but him in a man form scares her. I can't blame her.
But the monster won't tolerate it. He closes the space between us in seconds, reaching his hand towards her head. He's going to beat her again. So my wolf latches out, baring her teeth.
I can see the anger in his eyes starting to bloom now and I know my wolf did a huge mistake. He slams his booted foot om her paw so hard my wolf yelps and squalls from pain, trying and failing to shake off his leg. Finally, after it felt like hours, he lets go, the paw twitching and throbbing from the pressure he put on it.
He looks calmly at her, turning his head a little and speaking ''Lets try this again''. His hand reaches for my wolf's head again and now she's frightened even more. But this time, she doesn't attack him. She whimpers, trying to back away, her hurt paw raised, lowering her head in submission, her nose almost digging the ground, pleading him to not hurt her again. It's miserable to watch her like that. Where's the wolf that jumped to rip his throat out?
His icy eyes focus on her. I can almost feel his stare on my skin. ''Stop moving''. So she stops, obeying her Alpha's orders. She's so frightened now, crouching down, shaking, her head turned away from him, ready for another blow. As his hand reaches her head, she flinches, expecting a hit.
But it never comes. His fingers only scratch her ears and pet her fur. As his hand travels down her body to her back, she flinches again, afraid he might have changed his mind. ''I said, stop moving'', Ronan growls. He pets her again, ruffling her fur, scratching her skin. As he reaches for her thighs, my wolf whines, remembering what he did to my legs the last time he touched them. They were damn broken.
But she doesn't move, obeying his orders, too scared to get punished again. And after a while, when she realizes he won't strike her, the petting actually starts to feel nice.
Ronan speaks up again. ''You see, you behave, you get rewarded. It's not that bad, isn't it?'' He starts scratching her neck and throat now and it feels so nice she actually lifts her head to give him a better access, closing her eyes, purring quietly in pleasure. Well, she's not mad at him anymore.
Too soon for her liking (but not too fast for mine), Ronan straightens up, stopping the pets. My wolf actually whines at him, begging more. Jesus, stop. Ronan gives her half a smile, ruffles her head for the last time and goes to the cabin again, then emerging from it as a wolf again.
My wolf wags her tail at the sight of him. I think her but wags as well. Have some dignity, damn. I want to take over, but again, she doesn't let me. She enjoys being with her mate too much. It's unnatural for mates to resist each other, and well, I'm good at resisting and fighting Ronan all the time. So my wolf wants to enjoy this moment for as long as possible.
Finally, as we reach the pack house, she lets me take over again. I wait for the monster to shift and get dressed, looking away. Then, he comes to ruffle my fur again, testing me, knowing that now I'm the one who's in charge, not my wolf. I pin my ears back, flashing my eyes at him, but do nothing more. I don't want him to hurt me again.
Finally, he takes his stupid dirty hands away from my fur, nodding a permission for me to shift. I do that, quickly dress up and, with my dearest mate's approval, head to the shower to clean myself up. With my wolf sated, I feel better somehow, lighter. It's nice feeling like that, after so long.
As I go, lost in my thoughts, I hear Rick down the stairs, approaching Ronan. Why is he up in the middle of the night?
I go back towards both of them, wanting to hear what Rick has to say. And what I hear, turns my blood to ice.
''Alpha... Ethan called. He's coming here tomorrow for a visit.''
A/N
So I let Eira's wolf to have some moment with her mate. Poor puppy deserved it xD
It was pretty hard to write this chapter for me, it felt like I was kinda hitting a wall with the story. But I tried hard and here it is!
Please let me know what you think in the comments cause I don't know if I did a decent job with this chapter. Your feedback means the world!
I love you all,
J.
xoxoxoxoxoxo