He didn't let me out of his sight. Actually, he didn't even let me out of his grip. His hand was always around my hip or encircling my upper arm or even entwining his fingers to mine. He was my personal cage.
At this point, I was starting to be kind of desensitized to his touch. It didn't feel like I was going to pass out every time our skin touched, my vision wasn't blurring anymore, nonetheless, my body still felt dirty, clammy and way too hot for my liking every time he would as much as look at me.
The moment he led me to the dining room, every chatter in the room ceased for a second. I felt lightheaded, seeing all those eyes drilling holes in me. Finally, after it felt like hours, everyone got back to their business and Ronan and I sat down.
It was weird to be sitting in the same chair I was sitting a year and a half ago. It felt like I have never actually escaped. Like nothing changed here at all. It felt like that blissful year and a half was only a beautiful dream and now I had to wake up and come back to reality.
Reality sucked.
Even though everything looked the same at first glance, the change was still visible. The monster's Beta, who was always sitting on his right alone, had a girl seated beside him, a baby in her arms. Katherine. I tried to catch her eye, but she never lifted her face from the child. She tended him with care and love, however, I couldn't see any happiness in her. Her eyes held no spark, her hair was frizzy and uncombed. She looked empty. Yet another broken soul.
Finally, I managed to pull my eyes away from her and look around. There were fewer people around the table now. I couldn't say who was actually missing, I never cared enough to meet these people, but the numbers were wrong, I have no doubt about it.
Hanna wasn't sitting on my left anymore. She sat beside Katherine now, eyeing her and the baby all the time she ate. Her eyebrows were slightly furrowed, lips pressed tightly. I swear she was jealous. Weird, remembering that she once told me she didn't want a kid. Yet another small change.
The whole atmosphere in the room was different, too. Once it was friendly, even welcoming, I could say. Now, everyone was a little more quiet, a little more respectful. All pack members looked at Ronan with not only respect, but also with fear in their eyes. What have he done?
And Ronan... He was even more intimidating than he ever was before. The aura he emitted... It was straight up terrifying. Once, I was able to see Ronan as a person, a human being, but now, he was a true animal in human's skin. He was quieter now, more collected. But he didn't have to vocalise his power - his presence itself was dreadful enough for me to shake like a leaf.
Something happened here while I was gone. Something that he did... I'll have to ask Hanna or Kat about it.
But now, I focused on food. Ronan told me, no, ordered me, to behave unless I want to be chained again. The fact that he literally commanded me to play nicely made me want to do completely different things, but damn, I wanted to get the hell out of that bedroom at least for a day.
So I sucked it up and acted as his pretty little mate - I ate, quietly sitting the whole time, I didn't shake away his palm on my leg, didn't even flinch when he grabbed me and kissed me. I was so good.
I sure as hell hated that bedroom.
Then, someone screamed outside. Everyone jumped on their feet, food forgotten. Ronan shot his eyes on me, making sure I was okay. Dude, of course I'm okay, I was sitting here for the last half an hour dammit. He grabbed my hand and very, very aggressively said ''You are staying right beside me, understood? Don't even think about leaving my side''. I nodded my head, eager to know what happened outside.
One stupid thought was nagging me in my head. Maybe it's Keenan? Maybe he's found me... I knew it was a silly idea, even impossible one, but deep down, I desperately wanted it to be true. I wanted my Keenan to take me away. I wanted to be saved.
I could see Rick ordering Kat and her baby to stay inside, Kat angrily shouting something back, but one look at the child was enough for her to stay. She wouldn't take a risk.
We, however, rushed out the door, only to see a woman crying her eyes out, holding something in her arms. As we got closer, Ronan's arm securely placed around my waist, I tried to see what she was holding so tightly.
At first, it was impossible to understand what the woman exactly held. It was small, all covered in purple-red blood. At first, I thought she was holding some king of a dog, attacked by an animal.
But as we got closer, I realized what it was. Who it was. She wasn't holding a pet. She was holding a child. The body was practically ripped in pieces, you couldn't even exactly say where the head was.
Hanna and Mira ran to the wailing mother, trying to gently pry her away from the mutilated corpse. She was screaming in such agony my eyes filled with tears too. It was a hard scene to watch. Finally, with some help from the males, the mother was led out, leaving her child's body alone, laying on the cold ground.
Ronan released my hand, giving me I dare you to move look, got closer to the child and crouched beside him, turning his head a little. Then, he stood up and turned to all of us. He spat only one word, full of hate and rage. ''Ethan''.
*****
I was back in his bedroom now. I asked Ronan if I could go and talk with the girls but he ordered me to immediately go inside, no questions asked, no compromises. I didn't want to anger him more - this new version of Ronan scared the shit out of me. Well, even more than the old one did. New and angry Ronan was way too much for me to handle.
So I spent the whole afternoon in the room, waiting for him to explain what exactly happened down there. Poor woman, I couldn't imagine what she was going through. A flash of my father's limp body appeared in my mind. Well, I kinda can.
I tried reading a book, I tried having a nap, but I was too distracted by the today's events. My mind was spinning, creating crazy theories about all of this. So I leaned to the headboard and waited.
Finally, when the sun was already setting, drowning the room in shadows, the door opened and the monster came in. Instantly, my mood changed from lazily bored to highly alert. I was always on the edge around him.
I waited for him to start talking first, but he only took off his shirt and headed to the bathroom, not saying a word to me.
After what if felt like hours, he came back, his ivory hair wet, small droplets dripping from them. His hair almost reached his shoulders now, giving him a wilder, menacing look. I quietly sad on the bed, waiting for him to dress up and start talking. I really didn't want to ask him questions, to show how interested I was in all of this, but curiosity killed the cat - I couldn't wait any longer.
''So...'' I started, not really knowing what to say. I guess this will be the first time starting a real conversation with him and I wasn't sure I was ready for it. But damn, I needed some answers. So I brought my knees to my chest, hugged them with my arms, cleared my throat and started again. ''Who's Ethan?'' I hated how small and quiet my voice sounded.
Ronan grabbed a shirt and put it on, not looking at my direction. Seriously? Now you won't talk? He put some logs in the fireplace and started a fire, cozy, orange light filling the room. Suddenly I felt the urge to crawl near the flames and warm up my chilled body. God, I hated the cold season.
Finally, when I thought he won't speak up at all, he turned to face me, his eyes darkening a little. ''Ethan is an alpha of the pack nearest to our territory. Lately we had some... disagreements.''
I turned and lifted my head slightly, staring at him ''Disagreements? What kind of disagreements end up in killing a child? Or I should say, tearing him apart...'' Ronan took a deep breath, brushing his palm through his hair. ''Drop that attitude, I'm not in the mood''. Yeah, you are always not in the mood. One simple word slip and I get slapped by you. Idiot. I roll my eyes to his back, once again turned to me and ask again ''Okay, so what happened?''
Ronan sighs. What a drama queen. ''When you left me'' he almost growls, and I sink deeper in the mattress, ''I was trying to find you, to track where would you go. My whole days were spent on this. So we got distracted. Ethan decided it's a right time to try to attack and take our lands.''
I waited for him to continue, but he didn't. Seriously? Just finish the damn story, fill me in!
''Uh, and how did everything go from there?'' I had to drag every damn word from his mouth. Ronan turned to me again, fire reflecting in his eyes. It was dark outside now, the room was hidden in shadows except for the light from the fire. ''Why do you want to know? Not that you cared before.''
It was true. I didn't care. But being stuck in this room for entire month was enough for me to take interests in anything that was happening around me right now. I was thirsty for any action. And well, this case was actually pretty interesting. I decided to give him a neutral answer. ''The child was killed. Of course I care about this.''
Ronan seemed to consider my words. He sank in the armchair near the fireplace. I debated myself to go sit in the other one - I desperately wanted some warmth from the dancing flames. After inspecting Ronan for a few seconds, I decided he was in a pretty non harmful mood now, so I carefully stood up an slowly, as if not to startle a wild animal, sat in front of the fire, avoiding the eye contact with the monster.
''Well? Are you gonna fill me in or I'll have to find someone else to do it?'' Ronan squinted his eyes at me ''I said, drop the attitude.'' What attitude? What attitude, you damn brute? Me asking questions is now an attitude?
I was starting to get pissed, but Ronan decided to keep talking again. ''Okay, after a month of you being gone, Ethan attacked and killed one of our pack, Michael. Ethan claimed that my man was crossing his territory and he had every right to kill him. We indeed found Michael's body in Ethan's territory, but the whole thing looked fishy. You could almost say that the body was dragged there. However, I didn't want to start a fight with one of the strongest packs around here, so I brushed it off.''
Wait, Ronan was brushing things off? It had to be a damn powerful pack for the monster not to start a war with them immediately.
Ronan continued. ''After a month, five members of his pack came to our land, attacking everyone they could see. Of course, we dealt with them pretty quickly and went straight to his territory, killing a few who attacked us in the process. Then, when we met Ethan, he claimed that we killed his men without a reason and those five wolves weren't from this pack. According to their tattoos, they were.''
I tilted my head in curiosity. ''Wait, what tattoos?'' Ronan lifted his right arm and pointed at his bicep, where some intricate runes could be seen. ''This is our mark. Every pack around here has their own. Every single of the five wolves had a fresh burned wound where their tattoos should be. But even through the damage, you could see it was Ethan's pack. But Ethan denied everything and showed us to the door. Everything was quiet for a while. Then, a few others got killed. Now, the child. It was never a child before.''
A shiver ran through my spine. ''But what does Ethan want to get from this? It doesn't make sense.'' Ronan shook his head, sighing. I guess all of this business was really tiring to him.
''It makes every sense, dove. He's teasing us, pulling our strings. He wants us to start a war.'' A war? Great. I wrap my arms around me. ''If he wants it so much, why he hasn't started it himself yet?''
Ronan leans back, massaging his temples with his fingers. ''I don't know, Eira. Maybe he's bored. Maybe he's afraid of other packs coming and helping us if he'll start first. I wish I knew.''
This whole situation was scary to me. Killing a child, attacking the others, the war... I've seen enough blood already. I didn't want more.
But the strangest thing was all of this conversation with Ronan. I wasn't used talking with him. I have always given him some short answers to his questions, but we never actually had a decent conversation. I never ever ever wanted to talk to him in the first place. And now, it was super weird. Somehow, talking with him made him look a little bit more human, more real. And it scared me.
God, I was so scared all the time.
I sat here, looking at the flames, enjoying the warmth they provided me. Ronan was quiet too. Finally, he stood up and opened the bathroom door. I heard the water running. Is he going to have a shower again? Fucking weirdo.
But no, after a while, he emerges from the door again and walks towards me. Shit.
''Come on, I filled you a bath''. I take a sharp breath. I remember what happened the last time I had a bath here. I don't want to experience that again. But Ronan grabs my arm and gently pushes me inside. ''Come on, it's just a bath, relax. You're cold.'' And with that, he leaves me alone and closes the door behind him.
I'm scared shitless now, afraid he might come back and try to do something to me. I debate whether I should or should not just stand here for a while and fake it, but I know he will see right through me and I'll get punished for lying. So I make myself to undress and sink in the tub.
I sit there for a while, too scared to move a muscle, waiting for him to barge in here. But nothing happens. So I finally manage to relax a little and enjoy my body warming up. But I'm not that stupid to test my luck, so after about 10 minutes, I jump out, quickly dry myself up and pull on a T-shirt and shorts.
When I exit the bathroom, I find Ronan crouching and putting more firewood in the hearth. He glances at me, making sure I obeyed him. In my mind, I thank all the god's that I made the right decision and listened to him. ''Warmer now?'' he asks and I nod my head. I climb in bed, covering myself whole.
After a minute, Ronan climbs in too, and I, as always, wait for him to start abusing me again, but a minute goes by and nothing happens. He just pulls a heavy comforter on top of me and lets me sleep at peace.
Yet another change.
A/N
Hello my beautiful readers! Soooo, I thought it was about time to give this story some more plot. And yesss, Eira did finally have a somewhat decent conversation with Ronan!
Thank you, my lovelies, for reading and voting. Seriously. It brings me so much happiness to see you enjoying my story!
I love you all,
J.
xoxoxoxoxoxo