'I'm sorry what is your name?' I stifled a silent laugh as Riot looked embarrassed, his cheeks flushed as he rolled his eyes to the robotic voice that came out of my phone.
"Oh, shut up Alister"
'Hey now," I typed, 'Alister is a pretty common name, but Reginald?'
Riot groaned, "You promised you wouldn't make fun of it.
'I'm sorry, I'm sorry. So why do you go by Riot and not Regg outside of the house?'
"My parents named me Reginald, which in turn, made me want to riot. I thought it was pretty fitting as a pre-teen. It just stuck?"
I wanted to giggle at the way he explained himself, laugh with him, and ease some of his discomforts. Let him know that I found it funny, cute even. But I couldn't. All I could do is echo out my thoughts through a phone.
Once we made it back to the farm things felt better between us. Not as tense, I didn't feel like I was walking on eggshells. It was late when we got back, and as much as I wanted to stay with him, follow him around and hear his voice. Riot let out a big yawn as he stopped the truck, giving his eyes a quick rub. He gave me a weary smile. I could see that he was tired â I wanted to go with him to the guest house, stay on the sofa and watch TV with him and Preston. See what type of shows he was into on the TV, what did he do before bed? Did he have a routine? Or was he like me and just kind of tossed himself into bed whenever he saw fit.
Did he snore?
I wandered into my thoughts long enough for Riot to clear his throat and raise a brow to me. I felt my face flush, my cheeks becoming warm as I averted my eyes. "Pres leaves tomorrow morning," Riot said after a moment. "I'm not as crazy as him, I don't wake up anytime before six. So meet me out here around six-thirty. The animals are happy to wait for us. I go for breakfast around seven-thirty, lunch at noon. We move the cows so get as much rest as you can because those girls can get a little spitty."
I nodded, butterflies starting to twist and turn in my chest and stomach. I didn't think Preston was leaving that early, I thought I had more time to adjust.
We said our goodbyes and I went off into the house, my plan was to head right to the bedroom, but when I walked in I was met with Miquel sitting in the living room, remote in his hand as he watched wheel of fortune. He looked up at me, giving me a soft smile and gesturing to the spot beside him. Who was I to walk away when he offered me a seat?
We sat together for the rest of the show neither of us saying a word, just enjoying the moment. Miquel reminded me of Darren, he was quiet, soft. He didn't tell you how he felt, he showed you. I was worried he didn't like me, scared that he would just find me a burden. But as we sat side by side, I realized there was nothing to worry about. This was my family. Nani and Miquel opened their home to meâ not because they had to, but because they also wanted to.
I could hear the tub's water empty after the show ended, and soon Nani made her way down the stairs, her face pulled taught. "Oh my, I have heartburn again." She mumbled as she came into the living room.
"I put thumbs over the fridge," Miquel said back, switching the channel on the TV. She nodded, walking to the kitchen and pulling a chair over.
She joined us after, the three of us enjoying the news before I finally called it a night and wandered back into the bedroom.
I wanted to stay up later than I had, but once my head hit the pillow I was gone, going into a deep sleep.
I twitch, tossed, and turned, it was the same dream I normally had. Smoke billowing out of the village as I was carted away in an SUV with three men inside of it. Laughs could be heard from every corner of the mind. Lucca's, Ray's, Charlies, my parents, birth and adopted. It was overwhelming. I finally woke up with a jump when I heard a bang. I realized it was the sound of a car door closing when I heard it driving off.
Preston must have been leaving. I looked at my phone with a sigh seeing as it was only three in the morning. I didn't want to sleep again. I couldn't. Not with the sweat pouring down my face.
It wasn't like Ivan to be awake at this hour. But I called them, and after a few minutes, they answered, their hair a mess on their head, eyes half open as they tried to make sense of what was happening. "Nice to see you're alive. But next time can you wait until at least after eight before calling me?" Their voice was cracked, horse from sleep.
Facetime on my phone wasn't something I liked to do. Mainly because my hands were full. But I did have an app that let me type and everything I wrote was turned into spoken words.
'Sorry I went MIA. things have been... crazy. But I have lots of newsâ"
I didn't fall back to sleep. But talking to Ivan helped a lot. Telling them about Riot, about being clean. Seeing the look on their face. I could tell they wanted to get emotional, and I was thankful they didn't because I don't think I could handle seeing my best friend cry because of something I was finally doing right.
I met Riot outside that morning, He didn't look as tired as I felt, but I was fine.
"We're not moving the girls until the afternoon. Chip N' Dale need some more feed. Have you collected the eggs before?"
Riot was definitely bossier than Preston, he had a notebook stuffed in his back pocket and a pen in his shirt, a checklist of things to be done, how long it should take, and what time it was going to be started.
I almost rathered it that way, where Preston kinda relaxed and did things as it came to him, Riot was organized, he knew what and when things would be done. So it was no surprise to me that at seven-thirty on the dot he was ushering me back into the house with the promise of eggs and toast.
"We'll use a fresh egg, I've got some in the fridge. Pres made bread while I was gone, but I think I'll need to bake more this week."
'You make your own bread?'
Riot smirked, turning his head and taking a pan from under the stove. "Well, when you live in the middle of nowhere, you have no choice but to make your own goods from time to time. Has Preston taken you into the garden? We grow our own fruits and vegetables too. But it's only early in the season yet."
I shook my head, I hadn't seen any gardens, just grain fields, and grass. "I'll show you when we're finished eating."
'Nani said you guys head to town on the weekends, do you have a spot there?' He wasn't facing me anymore, so my phone echoed between us.
"No, Preston has a few friends in the city, he normally goes to go to the clubs, lets loose. We try to alternate weekends away so that someone is always around to help out and take care of the animals. I did have plans this weekend with a few friends. I'd offer you to join, but I don't think it would great for your sobriety if you went to a bar."
We sat at the table waiting for the bacon to cook, eggs ready and waiting with toast freshly popped.
'No, you're right. It's best I stay here. It's too early for me to trust myself. I've got nothing left in my bedroom. I can spot a dealer a mile away. It would be stupid.'
"I can cancel, we can stay in and hang out. I've got a bunch of DVD's we can watch. Or Netflix."
I'd be lying if I said I didn't want him to do that, cancel his plans so we can spend time together. My stomach twisted, my fingers twitched as I thought about it, I shook my head, dismissing it. But Riot was admitted. He had his own phone out in seconds and was talking to someone on the other line.
"There, now, this weekend we can stay in. Next weekend I'll be going out though because it's for my friend's birthday party."
'You canceled someone else's party?'
"Her birthday isn't until the middle of next week, she'll be fine." He said with a laugh.
My feelings for Riot were naturally stronger, and I was worried that because of that that I wanted to move faster with this than he would. Obviously we only just met, but I wanted to be with him at every turn, ask him a million questions. I felt stupid for that, like a child following this grown man and wanting to bother him all the time. But seeing Riot pick up the phone and cancel his plans for me, to offer me food, a movie night and seemingly wanting to be with me as well.
Well. Maybe I wasn't as big of a fuck up as I had originally thought I was.