Vince and I sit in the patio combating the cold air with our hoodies. I'm reading a book on characters and Vince is watching a play on his phone. Signing day is tomorrow and Vince has committed to UC Berkeley using his relationship with Vicki as an example Vince isn't the best at commitment. Still I'm proud of him, and I know the second he signs that paper all the hard work he has been putting in since he began playing catch is going to pay off.
I close my book after breezing through 3 chapters, and forgetting I'm in the middle of school I take a sniff of the old brown pages.
Vince's eyebrows jump up and I let the book drop on the table while Vince slides his phone in his pocket. "You're a weirdo."
"The pages smell good," I argue. I've been having to defend this habit since I was reading books about fairies and treating them like candles. Only people who love being in the aisles of Barnes and Nobles will understand this vice of mine.
"You know you're not too far from the people who eat paper right?" I pick up the book and open to a random page.
"Come on smell pages 22 to 40 it's a refreshing scent." Vince shakes his head. "No nigga you're weird." I put the book down, and the smell of the pages leaves my nostrils and the scent of pretty perfume enters. With a slicked top knot Vicki finds her place right on Vince's lap. Vince gives her a passionate kiss and I'm happy to see them together, but I'm confused. When Vince sees my eyes still on him their tongues separate and he's back to scolding me.
"I thought you stopped that staring thing."
"I, I did I'm just."
Vicki jumps in. "Wondering How we got back together."
I nod and Vince shakes his head.
He looks me dead in the eyes and with a straight face says, "pregnancy." Like Vince Vicki is stoic and my heart drops, but goes back into place when Vicki lets out a giggle.
"You guys are terrible," I say and they both burst into laughter.
"You lil gullible ass, there will be no little Vince's running around chill," Vince laughs some more.
"So why did you guys get back together then?" I hate to be nosey, but my dad wants to know and of course he made me his spy.
They exchange looks and Vince lets out a sigh. "Jada slapped the shit out of me, and told me to get out of my head."
"That's it?"
"Yeah it's that simple," Vicki adds. The juicy story my dad and I created about them grabbing the last ice cream dip and dots doesn't exist, what a bummer. A group of girls call Vicki over by the locker room and she scurries off leaving Vince and I back with the same expressions. My fingers touch the edge of my book, but I stop when Jada slides in next to Vince making him flinch a bit.
"Y'all wanna know something?" She shouts and takes a bite of her cafeteria bagel.
Vince shrugs and I lean in a bit. Jada leans in and whispers,"Chase has chlamydia."
Vince's face immediately scrunches up. "Don't tell me that shit." There's no shock or surprise on my face, because I couldn't care less, two months ago maybe, but now there's hardly any thoughts swarming my mind about Chase.
"You shouldn't of done that dumb shrug then." Jada opens her orange juice carton on the wrong side, but that doesn't stop her from drinking the whole thing.
"I know you find this interesting," Vince nods towards me.
"Uhh no I couldn't care less no offense Jada."
Jada finishes her bagel then looks up at me. "Hmm oh yeah none taken."
"You seriously don't care that big C has the big C."
"Yeah there's bigger things to worry about."
"So you and Ziyah are like good and shit?" Ziyah's name on Vince's tongue has become something I hate, but he doesn't seem to have the same disgust on his face that used to appear.
"Yeah," I lie.
I wish it wasn't a lie, but ever since I went over to Ziyah's house things have gotten weird. Ziyah's been distant and not as open as he was with me. The best comparison for his recent lack of emotions would be how I was when we started talking. Closed off, somber, and unsure of feelings. I ask if he's ok, and he says yes, but if he was we would be in that happy new relationship place we were just in. It might be the fact I've been in his house, or it could be that he showed me the drawing which I'm still astounded by. I don't know what it is, but It's in his kisses, texts, and the little words he lets out. The worst part is his attitude spreads to me because the thoughts of me not being able to make him happy swarm my mind.
Vince nods and goes back to watching plays on his phone. I want to pick up my book, but my thoughts are stuck on Ziyah and I can only stare at Jada as the sight of her combing her curls is quite satisfying.
I get home and the only thing that's swirling in my mind is Rose's question, "Will you do your best to make Ziyah happy?" As I sit in my room I hold Sawyer in my arms while she stuffs a teething toy in her mouth, and I wish I was allowed to invite Ziyah over so he could hold her and she can cheer him up. I've been doing my best to try and bring back Ziyah's smirk by talking to him, watching Reba, and sometimes telling him cheesy shit like everything will be ok. Because that's what you're supposed to do right?"
"Daya you wanna go to the liquor store!" Vince shouts from the living room.
"I've got Sawyer!"I shout back.
My dad's booming voice interjects. "Stop shouting and walk the five feet to eachother!"
"You're shouting too," Dani whines.
"I'm coming Vince," I shout again once I hear Dani and my dad bickering. I step into my sneakers and with Sawyer in my hands I head towards the living room meeting Vince at the door.
"No more water?" I ask with a raise of my eyebrows. That's usually the only reason we go to the liquor store. It's only a 5 minute walk and it's right by juniors and this new poke place. With Sawyer chewing on her toy we head down the street.
Getting to the point real quick I turn to Vince. "When you loose a game or are stressed or something what does Vicki do to cheer you up?"
Vince rubs his chin and lets a smirk crawl across his face. "Daya you're my sister I can't tell you all that." He smirk goes away when I shoot him a look which isn't as serious with Sawyer slobbering all over me. Vince looks up at the cloudy sky indicating he's thinking and not about to give me a bullshit answer.
"She doesn't do shit, she's just there for me. You ever here that phrase, presence is the real present?" I nod because even with that dumb quote I get what he's saying. I can't put it to much use because I am there for Ziyah, I wanted an answer that would fix everything or at least change things.
Vince opens the door to the liquor store, and doesn't pay any mind to the homeless man sitting on the concrete. I would give him some money, but I got Sawyer and I only have a $20. The hairy man at the counter keeps his eyes on us as we walk back to the freezer. As we pass all the items filled with fat and love my eyes spot a certain packaged desert. In between the cream filled twinkies and the chocolate brownies sits the cinnamon buns with that little Debbie's logo. Vince starts searching for his usual arrowhead bottle even though water is water, and I with my one available hand grab three cinnamon buns.
Ziyah told me that was his favorite food one day, he said it in his version though, "cinnamon buns are my shit." A smirk comes over me at the thought before Vince comes behind me with his water.
"I thought you don't Do added sugar?" He gestures to the cinnamon buns.
"There not for me there for Ziyah," I say as if it's obvious.
"Didn't I just say it's about the presence not the present?" Ehh he does have a point.
"It's just a nice gesture," I argue. We go to the register and the hairy man doesn't bother looking at Sawyer's happy face and just scolds the hell out of us. Vince carries the cinnamon buns for me and we begin our walk back home.
"Food? That seems like a weird gesture," Vince adds and my happy expression drops. I ignore him though because he's stressed about signing day coming up, and I just place Sawyer in her playpen before going in my room. I can't just give him the cinnamon buns, and I find a cute little box to neatly put them in. Once I start refining my gift I can't stop and I end up writing a little note to go inside the box. In perfect cursive on an index card I write, "I know this is cheap and cheesy as fuck, but I'm here for you- Daya. I'm new to this whole relationship thing, but it doesn't look too bad.