"I didn't think I could be strong."
~Carol Peletier
The days after returning from Alexandria were tense for the Saviors. Negan had not been acting like his usual, jerky, self. If the Saviors thought his past self was terrible, this "new" Negan was a tyrant. He lashed out more often at his men, threatening them with Lucille over the smallest things. He did not jokingly insult them; he outright terrorized them. No one knew why this dramatic shift had occurred.
No one that is except for Negan.
Negan could not stop thinking about what he encountered in Alexandria. More specifically, who.
Yeah, it was fun to see Rick writhe under him. He found Carl's anger to be amusing. It was really entertaining to see the women trying to defy his authority. He found enjoyment in seeing Glenn trying to stand up to him.
For a while.
Somehow, his sadistic pleasure in their misery was slowly draining into a tedious monotony. He had not felt this way for so long, that he couldn't even describe it.
He knew that what he had done would break them, but to see them at this point gave him pause. He considered laying off a bit; he had made his point clear enough.
But there was always the chance that Rick's group would take his "mercy" for weakness, and he could simply not allow that.
He was also concerned that his followers would see this emotion and consider him to be a faulty leader. They would only listen and respect a brutal and strong leader; not one they would mistake for a pansy.
To reinforce this idea in their heads, his grip on them tightened. He became more ruthless, less jolly. He would not lose everything he worked so hard to build to some pathetic emotion. Fear was the only way to rule.
Sherry was no exception to Negan's newfound brutality. He had been rougher with her, manhandling her even that he left bruises.
She thought she had been scared before, but she was terrified now.
She knew Dwight wanted to talk to her, but she couldn't risk Negan finding out. She had a feeling that if they were caught, they would end up on the wrong side of a barbed bat.
~
Several miles away in Alexandria, Rick and his closest friends were gathered in his house. He had called them all over to share the final words of Carol Peletier.
He cleared his throat before reading:
"Family and Friends,
Or whoever finds this.
I don't even know how I survived this long... Every day I wake up and this thought crosses my mind. I was never strong. I think I was able to get by each day because I pretended to be strong. When Sophia died, I only pretended to be tough. When Lizzie, Micah, Beth, and Herschel died, I continued doing this.
Then Daryl and Maggie died. And I couldn't pretend anymore.
I couldn't bear the weight of knowing I got the man I loved, the man who retained my sanity and hope throughout everything, killed.
I couldn't look at Glenn without thinking his family was dead because I decided to be selfish. I had grown close to Maggie over all our tribulations. I considered her family.
But because my guilt prevailed over my logic, she is dead.
Dear, whoever is reading this, you probably don't even care about I'm saying. For all I know, Negan could be reading this. Or one of his men.
If you are Negan or one of his men, you can take this letter straight to hell.
If you are Rick or one of the Alexandrians, I am sorry for everything I have caused. But I want you to know, that you can defeat this. You have overcome so much. You must overcome this. Not for Daryl, Maggie, or me.
But for yourselves. For the ones who are truly strong.
You all are the last ones carrying the fire.
Rick, you were placed in a situation not many men want. That not many men can handle. But you have carried this group as much as you can. You have kept us alive.
You have to rebuild this world. I believe you will.
And when you do, don't forget to mention me.
Thank you. For everything.
~Your friend, no family,
Carol
P.S. I think there's a man you should meet. His name is King Ezekiel and he rules over The Kingdom. Morgan is there."
"She also drew a map to the kingdom," Rick choked on his words.
By the time Rick's voice trailed off as he reached the end of the letter, everyone was mourning again. Rick was crying the hardest of them all. Carol's words had struck him with new waves of emotion and sorrow, but had also brought hope. He wanted to desperately hold onto her words of hope and make sure they would never be stolen from him.
"I'm going to find The Kingdom," Rick spoke up over everyone's sobs. "F-For Carol."
"Why would she want us to find it? Because Morgan's there?" Aaron asked, rubbing away tears from his eyes.
"Not only because of that, but she thought... he could help us overcome this," Rick responded.
Everyone looked at Rick, wondering if King Ezekiel would help them defeat Negan.
"Would that be enough people for you to declare war?" Glenn questioned sardonically.
Rick glanced at the man, not liking this new attitude. But he decided to not argue about and only responded with a "maybe."
"I don't know if this is the right time to say this, but I am strongly considering Jesus's offer," Sasha stepped forward. "And if King Ezekiel does help us, then I will become Hilltop's leader."
Abraham smiled reassuringly at her, knowing she would make an excellent leader.
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We first need to find The Kingdom and Morgan for that matter," Rick replied. "We don't know when Negan will come back. He's unpredictable, but I will say he won't be back for a few days. That gives us enough time to find The Kingdom. I don't want a whole search party in case he does show up, but I will need another person to come with me."
"I'll volunteer," Aaron said. "I know the area pretty well, so we might find it sooner."
"Okay," Rick nodded his head. "Michonne, Carl, and Glenn. You know what to do if Negan comes back." The three of them nodded their heads in understanding, they would have to comply with Negan's demands.
As everyone left, Glenn stayed behind.
"Glenn? Is something wrong?" Rick realized after he asked this, just how many answers Glenn could give in response.
Thankfully, Glenn did not answer this. "Yeah, I just needed someone to talk to. After everything that's happened."
"I'm always here for you. For anyone that wants to talk. Maybe if Carol would have talked to me... I could- I could've...." Rick started to fall apart again.
"It's not about that," Glenn laid a hand on his back. "It's just that last night I had a dream. About Maggie. I was the one who died that night. She had to watch as Negan killed me. I told her... that I would find her," his voice quavered. "I don't even know what that means. But I somehow wish things would have turned out that way because her and Daryl and Carol would still be here."
"No, Glenn. You're here now and I'm glad you are." Rick's eyes were beginning to sting again.
Glenn put his face in his hands. "How did this all go so wrong? It wasn't supposed to be this way."
Rick couldn't find an answer to that because there wasn't one. But Rick knew he would do everything in his power to set things right. He would declare war on Negan and he would win. Not for Daryl, Carol, or Maggie. But for their own freedom like Carol said. For the first time since everything had fallen apart, Rick started to find his strength.
"I think it means... no matter what world or universe you're in, you'll find each other," Rick finally spoke up to his grief-stricken friend.
~
A trail of stabbed walkers followed Enid's path as she journeyed out on a run. She was an expert on sneaking out of Alexandria, coming in and out of with ease. She really didn't want to leave at a time like this when the Saviors could be just outside the walls. However, she had a job to do. Glenn had entrusted her to find a backpack and she was not going to let him down.
She knew that this run might take a while since she was on foot. She had come prepared with several blades, food, and water. The good thing is that she knew the surrounding area and there was a sports store nearby.
She thought about how Glenn would react when she handed him the backpack. Would he hug her? Would he just grin and thank her? What if he didn't like the backpack?
The sound of a car broke her out of her daze. She quickly turned around to see a car pull up beside her. The window rolled down, showing a smiling Carl.
"What are you doing out here?" Enid asked, irritated because she already knew the answer.
"I saw you leave and I thought we could go for a drive," He responded, opening the passenger door for her.
Enid only rolled her eyes as she hopped into the car.
"Where to?" Carl inquired flirtatiously.
"To the sports store. Here, I'll direct you and you drive," Enid snapped, vexed with Carl's attitude.
That was their conversation all the way to the sports store; Enid directing and Carl driving. Carl didn't want their whole time together to be like this. He wanted to have fun with her, but Enid was too focused on getting to the store.
"Why do you even want to go here?" Carl looked at her as he parked.
"I need to get a backpack," Enid replied, climbing out of the car.
"You left Alexandria, knowing the Saviors are out there, just to get a backpack?!" Carl asked incredulously. "I'm sure there are backpacks in Alexandria."
"This is a special type of backpack...Look, if you don't want to do this you can go back. I didn't ask you to follow me!" Enid left a stunned Carl in the parking lot as she entered the store.
She immediately started searching for the backpack amongst the mess. She was too occupied with finding it that she didn't hear something approach her.
She felt it before she saw it; a walker. She crawled backwards, trying to get away from it.
She groped for her knives in her knapsack, trying to hold off the walker. It growled at her as it tried to bite her, but then it fell to the ground. Carl stood behind it with a bloody knife, looking down at her disappointedly.
"Thanks," Enid stood up and got back to her goal.
"Why do you even want this backpack?" Carl kicked at a soccer ball by his feet.
"It's a gift for someone," was all she said.
"For Glenn?" Enid instantly snapped her head in Carl's direction. He looked... hurt. Inside, he hoped that he was wrong; that she would deny it. But his suspicions and jealousy grew when she answered his question with a question:
"Why would you think that?"
"Because when the Saviors came you made a big deal about them taking the green balloons. I know what they meant to you...that they were related to him. And I had to come to get them to leave you alone."
"See, that's your problem, Carl. You always think I need your help when I don't. Yeah, I am trying to find a backpack for Glenn. He's my friend. "
"Yeah, right. I've seen the way you look at him," Carl sighed. Enid was fuming, but she ignored him and went back to searching.
"If you think he's going to go for a 16-year-old, you're going to be really disappointed," Carl tried appealing to her reason.
Enid was about to snap back, but something caught her eye. She rushed over to the wall excitedly.
"This is it!" She held the backpack almost lovingly in her arms.
"Alright, let's go then. We need to get back before my dad leaves," Carl rolled his eye.
~
They rode home in silence; Carl feeling dejected and Enid feeling elated.
"Uh oh," Carl said, seeing a crowd gathered at the gates. There was no way they could sneak in now.
The crowd turned towards the car that drove in. Rick looked furious at the driver, who tried not to look at his dad.
The teenagers got out of the car hesitantly, knowing what was in store for them.
"CARL!" Rick yelled. "What do you think you're doin'? Leaving at a time like this?!"
"Dad, I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have left," Carl calmly explained. "But..." He looked at Enid, wondering if he should give his dad Enid's reason for leaving.
"But we needed to go for a drive. We wanted to get away from it all. Just for a bit. We needed an escape," Carl stared at Glenn as he said this, his jealousy swelling up again.
"It was too depressing here," Enid spoke up.
"You all should know better. Now don't let this happen again," Rick sighed. "There is no excuse for leaving."
"Yes, sir," they both answered at the same time.
"Alright, everyone's here now. Aaron and I are going to head out now," Rick addressed the crowd. "Be safe. Listen to whatever Michonne, Carl, and Glenn tells you."
Everyone went to hug and say goodbye to Rick and Aaron.
"Come back to us," Glenn told Rick.
"I will," Rick answered before Glenn surprised him by hugging him. Rick returned it, which surprised Glenn.
Michonne went up to Rick and passionately embraced him, which Rick did as well with the same emotion.
Carl was the last one to say bye to his dad. "Carl, you're strong. If anything happens to me, you can lead these people."
"Dad, you'll come back," Carl didn't want to believe otherwise. They hugged; Carl burying his face in his dad's shoulder, trying not to cry. Rick couldn't hold back his tears, holding onto his little boy for as long as he could.
Once they let go of each other, everyone watched as Rick and Aaron drove off into the unknown, hoping this would be the beginning of the end of Negan's reign.
As the crowd started to disperse, Enid went back to the car she was in. She pulled out the backpack and happily went up to Glenn.
"I got it," she smiled at him. Glenn smiled back at her as he took it from her hands. "Thank you, Enid. I knew you would."
Carl watched as they beamed at each other, realizing that Glenn had purposely asked Enid to get this backpack. She didn't do it on her own because he needed it; Glenn had known there wasn't this type of backpack in Alexandria. He had put her in harm's way, sending her off into Savior territory.
Carl's eye narrowed into a slit. He knew grief could do strange things to people, but this seemed almost diabolical. He wasn't sure what Glenn was up to, but he sure as hell didn't like it.