Chapter 61
As usual, he was stubborn. He must have noticed that I was throwing away food without eating it. I ate a little soup to avoid further arguing with him. As I was eating little by little, McCain was staring intently at me.
âIs there something on my faceâ¦?â
ââ¦Nothing.â
I turned my head again and tried to eat the soup, but then I put the spoon on the table.
âI donât want to eat anymore.â
âHave some more.â
âNo. I think I will get some indigestion if I eat more.â
âHaa⦠Alright then.â
Maybe he couldnât force a person to get indigestion, so McCain sighed and cleaned out the soup and spoon I was eating.
âYou donât have to do this. The employees can do this.â
âItâs what I would like to do.â
âSo⦠Whyâ¦â
He had been waiting by my side for two full months. It was a waste of manpower for a Marquisâ son and a knight, who was called the savior of the Empire, like him to only be nursing a sick person back to health.
âIâm doing all I have to do, so donât tell me not to.â
Again, I had nothing to say. I kept my mouth shut and spoke to him clearly.
âI believe the Duke will come back alive. I believe so.â
âMe too⦠I hope so.â
âI donât know why you are so nice to me, but you know I canât return the favor.â
ââ¦I know. Just donât tell me not to do itâIâm doing it because I want to. And I have already received that favor you speak of.â
âWhat?â
As I looked at him with a puzzled expression, not knowing what he meant to say that he received something back, a conversation I had with Layla flashed through my mind.
âHave we met before in the Holster Marquisateâs Garden?â
It was such an old memory that his face was so fuzzy that I didnât even think it was McCain, but now I am convinced it was the boy at the time.
ââ¦Yes.â
It was right.
âThe words you told me back then, Astell, made me who I am today. So I have nothing more to ask of you. I just want to protect you by your side as always.â
At the time, I was estranged from my family and only said a few words as I identified with him. But I didnât know it would mean so much to him.
âNo.â
I already knew that what someone said just passing by could be something powerful for someone to completely change their life.
âYou are foolish.â
I am foolish, he is foolish. We all are. We could just let it go, thinking that it was nothing, but we couldnât do it. So I couldnât say anything more to him.
âPlease rest. I will be back later this afternoon.â
As I stared at him with a sad expression, McCain told me to rest and hurriedly left the room. I watched him go out, and I went to a table near the window and sat down to digest. And I looked out the window for a moment.
Thereâs only one year left. Can you come back? Can I die looking at you?
âBleonâ¦â
Come back if you are alive. Hurry.
* * *
And another few days passed. Today was an exceptionally dazzling, sunny day. A pretty bird I had never seen before went to the window, and it was a day as if a welcomed visitor would come, so I felt pretty good from the morning. I didnât expect anything though. If you have high expectations, you will only be disappointed. It was late afternoon and nothing happened until the sun went down.
It was around the time when I thought that this day was just like any other normal day. But then suddenly, it was very noisy outside. Some seemed to be crying out and others seemed to be talking out loud. I paid close attention to what was going on, then closed my eyes again. Even though I said I wasnât expecting anything, I was very tired today because I put all my energy, wondering if I had something to do with it. So it was when I was just about to fall asleep in bed to go to bed early. The sound of someone opening the door was heard.
âWhoâ!â
The moment I slowly raised my upper body and looked at the door to see who opened the door without the ownerâs permission, I was convinced that I was already asleep and dreaming.
âLong time no see. You didnât come outâ¦â
Itâs been a long time since Iâve had tears in my eyes. I even opened my eyes wide, fearing that they would disappear if I closed them. However, the face of the man in front of me was greatly distorted. It looked like the tears I had been holding back were about to burst.
âDonât cry. I hate seeing you cry. Just smile.â
ââ¦Can I smile like this?â
The man pushed up the corners of my mouth and guided them into a smile.
âYes. Smile like that.â
Even the sight of him was dazzling. And in the end, tears flowed nonstop from my eyes. I reached out to him. I beckoned him to come here, to hold him even if this was a dream. Then the man ran to me at once. And without even having time to look at him properly, he devoured my lips haphazardly.
Our union in the dream was very rough because it had been a long time. It was natural because we couldnât afford to break free of each other. I tried to embrace him even deeper, and even though he couldnât get in any more, he pushed himself all the way down to the root and mercilessly thrusted me inside. I didnât want the dream to end while he was coveting my body like this. But weâve missed each other too long for that.
And with the crazy excitement and unbearable climax because of the man who pushed me to the brink, I finally lost consciousness.
* * *
âI guess itâs still a dream.â
A large, warm hand that I had once felt was gently stroking my hair. The body scent I was used to was also very familiar. He was still by my side, so I thought I was still dreaming.
Then I will never open my eyes. If I donât open my eyes, I wonât even wake up from my dreams. Never, never open my eyes.
âWifeâ¦â
I met a low but friendly voice calling me. I closed my eyes tightly, knowing that I might open my eyes without realizing it. To never wake up, hoping that this dream will never end.
âWife, are you going to sleep some moreâ¦â¦?â
Even at his question, I kept my mouth shut. Instead, I answered inside. Of course I should sleep. I think Iâm dreaming. I was holding on to the blanket with both hands and trying not to wake up from my dream in any way, but suddenly he grabbed one of my hands and dragged it up and kissed the palm of my hand.
âNngh.â
A groan came out a little as I felt a strange feeling at the lick on my palm. But it was too real to be a dream. I was bewildered because I couldnât figure out what it was, but this time, he started licking my earlobe and the inside of my ear with his tongue.
âMmnh!â
âYouâre not going to wake up with thisâ¦?â
What? What is happening to me now? I had to open my eyes to know that, but I was so afraid. I was afraid that this brief happiness would be blown away in an instantâI was afraid that he would never come back.
âDonât do thisâ¦â
Without realizing it, I think I touched my lips with an anxious heart. With my eyes closed, I was pulling my lips with my hand, and a large hand grabbed my hand. And he put my hand on the soft flesh that felt similar to the place I had just touched.
âI donât want to hurt you, my wife, so if you want to touch it, touch mineâ¦â
I swept it carefully. It was dry and rough, unlike in the past when it was moist and soft, which had coveted every nook and cranny of my body in my dream.
âIâmâ¦â
I donât know where such a bizarre idea came from. I opened my mouth with my eyes closed, thinking that it would be okay if I just didnât open my eyes.
ââ¦Tell me, Wife.â
âI⦠When I open my eyes, I think youâll disappear⦠When I open my eyes, Iâll wake up from this dream.â
âDreamâ¦?â
âYes. This is a dream. It canât not be a dream.â
âThen⦠Did you think it was a dream that I bit and suckled my wife all night?â
âThatâs right⦠Itâs a dreamâ¦â