Chapter 328 It Was Me First âI lived for myself,â he mumbled, the desolation in his voice audible. âBut I... I donât have anything anymore. Everythingâs just an illusion.â
My fatherâs words were an illusion, the letters were an illusion, and my motherâs gentleness was an illusion.
Those illusions had accompanied him for over twenty years, and they were what supported him to keep living. Those illusions were his courage, but now, he had lost everything. He was standing in the dark all alone.
No one needed him anymore.
âYou do. You still have me.â His tone ached Raynaâs heart. âIâm not an illusion. Iâm always by your side. Touch me if you donât believe my words.â
She then grabbed his hands and placed them on her cheeks. The coldness of his skin made tears spring to her eyes.
Jefferson finally relaxed and turned around.
Even with the dim lights, Rayna could no longer find the light in his blue eyes. It seemed as if he had died on the inside.
She trembled as she held the manâs hand, and she parted her lips a few times before stammering, âJefferson, donât do this...
Say something... Say anything... Donât do this...â
She was frightened to see him like that.
He was young, and he should be full of life. He should be prideful and not have soulless eyes.
It was still raining heavily outside, and the raindrops pattered against the window rhythmically. The icy, humid air seeped into the attic through the half-opened door.
Raynaâs tearful and melancholic face was reflected in Jeffersonâs eyes, and he stared at her for a long while.
The silence in the attic was deafening.
After what seemed like forever, the man gently moved his hand on Raynaâs face and whispered, âI was the one who met you first, and I was the one to fall for you first, so why did you end up falling for someone else?â
âIâm sorry... Iâm sorry...â Rayna did not know what else to say but to keep repeating those three words. As she held his hands tightly, she said, âIâm right here. I wonât be going anywhere anymore.â
Rayna could see that he had not changed his bandages for a long time and that he had a deathly pallor. She did not know what would happen to him if she did not change his bandages and reapply his medication.
Maybe he never thought of leaving after coming here.
The thought of that tightened Raynaâs throat.
As she unlocked her phone, she softly said, âIâll get the doctor to come and treat your wound. Didnât you say that you have a gift for me? Iâm looking forward to receiving that gift.â
âDo you still need it?â
âI do,â she answered. âI love every gift you gave to me, and Iâve kept them all properly. I love camellia, so give me more of them, okay?â
Even though he knew she was probably lying, he could not help but accept her words as they were.
âOkay.â
Rayna then contacted Hallsbayâs best doctor and informed him about the patientâs current condition and address. She also told him to come in an hourâs time and that she would pay any price he wanted.
After ending the call, she continued coaxing Jefferson. She told him that the attic was too cold, so she draped the coat over their heads and led him into the house before turning on the lights and the heater.
Jefferson stayed seated on the couch in silence, and his eyes lowered the entire time.
Forty minutes later, the doctor came. Fearing that he would not be able to handle the situation alone, he brought a nurse with him.
After entering the house, the doctor did a checkup for Jefferson. His expression turned grim as he said, âThe wound has bled again, and itâs sticking with the gauze. Iâm afraid itâll be a little difficult to remove the bandage.â
A nervous look crept upon Raynaâs face at that. âIs it very bad?â
âNo,â the doctor answered. By then, he had already worn his glove and had instructed the nurse to prepare the medication. âBut itâll hurt, and heâll have to bear with the pain for a while.â
Rayna then reached out to hold Jeffersonâs hand before muttering, âItâll hurt a little, so bear with it for a while, okay? Iâll be right by your side, and if it hurts too much, you can bite my arm.â
Jefferson shook his head. âI canât bring myself to do that.â
The doctor took a sterilized pair of scissors and slowly cut away the bandages around Jeffersonâs body.
When the gauze fell, Rayna saw the innermost layer sticking to the wound. It had turned into a dark shade of red, and it looked dirty. It was a frightening sight.
In the next second, a cold hand covered her eyes.
âDonât look.â
Raynaâs heart lurched painfully, but she tamped down the pain and hummed in response.
Although she could not see anything, she knew it had to hurt when the doctor separated the gauze from the wound, for Jeffersonâs arms were shaking, and his repressed groans had traveled into her ears.
After what seemed like forever, the hand covering Raynaâs eyes moved away. It was then she saw that Jefferson had new bandages, and the doctor was packing up.
After writing the medical report, the doctor passed the paper to Rayna.
âIâve brought some medication according to the symptoms youâve told me, but his condition is more severe than what youâve described. Get these medications from the pharmacy tomorrow. Remember to change his gauze and check his wound every day, and make sure he takes his meds on time. Heâll be on a liquid diet for the month, and he has to stay away from spicy food, tobacco, and alcohol.â
âThank you.â
The doctor was detailed in his explanation, and Rayna did not have any questions to ask. After paying the doctor, she escorted him and the nurse out of the house.
Filling a glass of warm water, she then passed the glass and the medicine to Jefferson. âGet a good sleep after taking your meds.â
Jefferson silently took the medicine.
Rayna then helped him to the bedroom. Right as she was about to turn on the lights, Jefferson placed a hand on her hand and said, âI donât like the light.â
âOkay, I wonât turn them on, then.â
There was light filtering through the windows, and Rayna could see all the pieces of furniture in the room. Thus, without needing to turn on the lights, she navigated him to the bed and tucked him in.
Jefferson was almost entirely hidden in the shadows. Only his blue eyes remained visible as he gazed at her.
In a hoarse voice, he asked, âWill you be here too?â
Rayna was about to tell him that she was going to rest in the living room, but when her eyes met his, her heart ached again.
Hence, she lay beside him, their bodies separated by the blanket. âMhm. Iâll be here. I wonât leave.â
It was only then Jefferson closed his eyes.
Rayna closed her eyes, too, but she never slept.
After hearing the steady breathing beside her, she opened her eyes again and turned to look at Jeffersonâs side profile. She felt terrible for him.
If only he had told me all of these back then. We wouldnât have missed each other.
Alas, there was no turning back.
Rayna did not sleep well that night. When she woke, it was dawn.
It seemed like Jefferson was exhausted recently, for he was still deep in his sleep. After a glance at him, she tiptoed out of the bedroom and ordered some food and insulating items online.
After tidying up the messy living room, the food she ordered arrived.
While Rayna made oatmeal, she called Ringo.
Indeed, her heart ached for Jefferson, but that was all. She had done everything she could the night before, and she was going to leave the reset to the people around Jefferson.
This time, the call went through just after one ring.
Rayna was the first to speak. âI found Jefferson. Heâs at the manor he bought in Hallsbay. Do you know the address? Heâs fine now, so come over.â
âThank you,â Ringo said, sounding tired. It sounded like he had been looking for Jefferson for a long time, and he was relieved to hear her tell him Jefferson was fine.
Nevertheless, Ringo told Rayna he could not make the trip. âMs. Garland, Iâm sure you know better than me what Mr. Hamilton needs right now.â
Rayna tightened her grip on her phone.
She knew that, and that was why she called Ringo.
What would she make of Curtis if she continued to take care of Jefferson like this?