For hours all I heard was shuffling. Movement, yelling, talking.
I paced back and forth in the tent I was in. I could see the reflection of the guards positioned all around just waiting for the moment I tried to make a run for it.
I wanted to panic but I couldn't.
I felt jump started.
Tristan was in trouble. They had hurt Tristan and he was in pain. I needed to stop that pain.
All my fear about what could have happened to Raphael, Nia and the others needed to go away.
I didn't want to act like they didn't matter. They had risked everything by coming here with me.
But right now I needed to go into survival mode.
Even though when I thought about Ornyx's order, I just wanted to crawl into myself and weep when I thought about all the pain Tristan must have been going through.
They already took his foot.
I hated to wonder what else they might have done to him.
I needed to get him out.
The tent door was suddenly pushed open.
I backed away quickly thinking Ornyx was back but it was only Roman.
Not that seeing him was any better.
I glared at him.
"You jerk!" I screamed.
He put a finger to his lips as he zipped down the tent door.
I didn't care about whatever he wanted to say. I marched up to him and shoved him.
"Why'd you bring me back here! Why'd you lie?" I demanded.
Roman placed his hands on my shoulders holding me steady and in place but I wasn't the same easily controlled Crystal.
I pulled out of his hold roughly and gave him a death glare hoping he knew that I wasn't playing.
He raised his hands in defence looking exhausted already.
"Will you stop it, babe. I'm not here to fight you."
"Don't call me that." I spat.
He stood up straighter. He leaned back slightly, studying me from head to toe like he had missed something.
"Okay, Valencia."
I let out a growl and charged at him, shoving him harder this time. He stumbled backwards.
And almost tripped. "Get me out of here, Roman!"
His the one who got me caught. He's the one who was revelling in the glory of having 'captured' me.
Roman clenched his jaw. I could tell he was upset. And as usual, trying not to show it.
"So that you can go where?" He asked, his tone cold. "To save Tristan? He's as good as dead, Crystal."
I charged at him again but this time he was ready.
He grabbed my arm and used my weight against me, spinning me around and pinning my arm behind my back.
I was stuck as he grabbed the other, holding them in place.
He leaned to whisper into my ear. "If you want to survive, you're gonna have to trust me."
"Trust you?" I scoffed as I struggled to get out of his hold.
I didn't want him touching me ever again. And it was hard to believe that not too long ago I had wanted nothing but to see him again.
"All you've done is prove exactly why I shouldn't." I told him.
Roman shifted an arm so that it was now holding my stomach gently as he pulled me closer to him.
He wasn't restraining me so much as embracing me now. And I was disgusted.
"Breathe, Crystal." He spoke gently.
I wanted to hit him, scratch him, hurt him... I wanted him to feel the pain of betrayal that I had gotten from him.
But for some reason I felt myself get weak. The anger and frustration was choking me and I just wanted to fall to the ground and cry.
I didn't like feeling this hopeless and powerless.
"Screw you!" I yelled at Roman.
I heard him sigh.
I used his moment of weakness to pull myself away from him.
I turned around quickly awaiting a fight.
But Roman's arms were limp at his side.
He truly just looked tired.
He sat down on one of the chairs.
I had noticed that most of the Shadow pack wolves slept in their wolf forms out in the wilderness.
But a few tents like this were set up around.
This one had one of those collapsible tables and a couple of chairs as well as a sleeping bag.
I eyed him warily wondering if this was a trick.
Roman looked up at me, his lips tugged down in a slight frown.
"Do you wanna fight me now, Crystal?" His tone was weak. "Am I officially your enemy?"
I folded my arms across my chest. I didn't dare go any closer to him.
"You made yourself one." I spoke.
His frown deepened. "Why? I followed all the rules. I kept you safe."
"You lied to me!" I argued. "You and my mum, you lied."
Roman hang his head low. "It was for your own good." He spoke in frustration.
This time I couldn't decide whether he was talking to me or himself.
He seemed at war with his thoughts.
"What's gonna happen to me?" I asked.
Roman turned to look at the outline of the tent where the silhouettes of the soldiers still stood.
He got up and stepped closer to me.
I immediately flinched and retreated.
He frowned.
"I truly come in peace." He spoke holding his hands up. He then dug into the pockets of his cargo pants and brought out a berry granola bar.
My eyes immediately widened at it and I knew he could tell exactly what he was doing.
"You always get cranky when you're hungry." He spoke trying to give me a small smile that took me back to the Roman I actually knew.
He reached out and handed me the bar.
I took it, my stomach doing the thinking for me as I ripped it open and immediately indulged.
I let out a moan not realising how much I had needed this.
Roman chuckled. "Whoa there, you're gonna give people the wrong idea." He spoke.
I glared at him. Did he really think one lousy granola bar fixed all the damage that he had done?
Romans face dropped when he saw that I wasn't having it.
He gestured for me to come closer. He pointed at his ear then the guards.
I immediately knew what he was saying.
They could hear us.
Roman sat down on the sleeping bag and patted the spot next to him.
I reluctantly obeyed, taking a seat beside him.
Before just being around him made me relax, now I was on edge, scared of what he might do.
"I don't think Ornyx is going to do anything to hurt you. At least not yet." Romans tone was so low, barely a whisper. If I wasn't a werewolf, I wouldn't have been able to pick up a word he said.
He looked around cautiously.
"You're his heir. And with Theresa vouching for you, you're safe for now. But if you don't fall in line, don't swear allegiance to him..."
Roman stopped himself as if he didn't even want to think about what would happen.
I clenched my fist. "I'm never swearing allegiance to that psycho.
I kept my voice low but deep down I didn't care if he or anyone else heard or not.
Roman frowned like he was afraid I would say that.
"Do you even know what's at stake?"
"My life? If Ornyx kills me that says everything about who he is -"
"And who do you think will care at the end of the day?" Roman hissed at me. "You're playing the rebel when the smart thing is to play the ally. The Silvercrest pack won't care about you the minute Tristan dies. They won't accept you. You need to do whatever it takes to remain alive. And right now that's switching sides. It doesn't matter what you believe is right or not."
I knew my forehead probably looked permanently wrinkled with the look on my face. I hated how he said 'when Tristan died'. Like it was only a matter of time.
Like it wouldn't completely break me.
"You're the spy here, you might not live by a code but I do." I told him.
Roman looked at me offended.
He shook his head as his features darkened.
"Are you kidding me?" He shifted and I could tell that he was trying to keep himself from shaking. "I did this all for you. Not Ornyx. You. Theresa gave me the order to watch out for you and that became my whole life's mission. You became my purpose -"
"Oh please, don't act like you didn't steal private information from Tristan." I retaliated. I refused to be lied to or deceived anymore.
"Yes. But that was my side mission. Theresa ran the spy project. She raised us, she instructed us. It's taboo to say this but we followed her orders over Ornyx's. She bred us like lab rats. All we knew was her voice and her voice told me that you were to become my priority."
I looked at Roman. A vein stuck out of his forehead with how angry he was.
I couldn't help but feel pity for him.
All his life all he had known was service.
What my mother did to him and Meggy and who knows who else... they had never had lives of their own.
I always saw Roman as a safe haven in Woodfell. No matter what happened or how bad things could get I always had him.
I truly loved him.
But now I wondered if he ever even cared about me or if he just thought he did because I was to be his mission.
He obviously saw my mum in some kind of messed up parental way. It was becoming more and more apparent that he was a lab rat. A little pup who took orders from her and aimed to please her.
That was his life. He had been bred, not raised.
And that just seemed so tragic for a kid.
I watched Roman filled with pity.
"What did you do? Why were you running?" I asked revisiting how he had found me.
I knew he wasn't looking.
Roman got a serious look on his face. "I'm expendable here. That's all you need to know."
My eyes widened. "Yet you're loyal to these people?"
"'These people' are my family, my kind." He spoke defensively.
"You just said they would toss you away in a second. Didn't you say Ornyx hated humans? News flash, Ro, you're half human."
I seemed to have hit a nerve with that one.
I saw Roman's ears turn pink. "What exactly is your goal? To turn me against Ornyx and Theresa? Crystal, I'm a soldier, I don't get an opinion. I don't get my feelings considered. My job is to take orders and I've accepted that."
I shook my head.
"That's not a life." I spoke softly.
Roman didn't respond immediately.
He looked away and I just knew he must have known how true my words rang.
"I was going to earn his respect." Roman started to speak. "I followed my instructions, I got what he needed - I just had to do one more thing and I messed up. He was going to respect me. Finally look at me like a full wolf. Like everyone else."
I didn't know what Roman had done but I knew that I was right in believing that I had found him fleeing.
"Why does it matter?" I asked, my voice calmer.
All the time I had spent thinking if I kept my head low in Woodfell, everything would be okay...
I didn't agree with Ornyx and to be honest, I wasn't all for how things were with the Silvercrest pack.
But I knew there was little I could do to change either.
The way I saw it if you weren't wanted somewhere, it was best to go somewhere you were.
Roman looked at me with a straight and sad face.
"Theresa's all I've ever really known as a mother. Meggy and the others - we were raised together. The Shadow pack is my family."
"Roman. Family actually loves you." I spoke shaking my head. "Unconditionally."
He opened his mouth to say something then he closed it.
He looked at me. "Will that ever be us again?" He asked.
"What?"
He frowned. "You haven't looked at me the same since... since... I don't know exactly when it changed but it's no longer you and me against the world. I'm no longer the person you'd choose if it came down to it."
He sounded so sad, so broken but he also sounded like he was speaking matter of factly. Like he didn't doubt his words in the least.
I looked away from him. Everything I felt for Roman I tried to bring back up to the surface.
But there was one thing holding me back.
"You say that but... Ro, you let me down first."
With the look on his face you'd think I had stabbed him.
He looked at the ground. "I was supposed to kill Tristan."
I looked up suddenly. "What?"
He clenched his jaw and looked me in the eyes. "In a duel to the death. He won." He spoke quietly. "That's why you found me trying to flee. Everything I had built... I saw it flash before my eyes. The respect, my name, all flushed down the toilet. Because of Tristan. And now... and now his taken you too."
There's a darkness that crossed Roman's features when he said the last part.
I shifted uncomfortably.
I wanted to love him still... and maybe I did.
But this wasn't the same person. There was a dimness in him. Anger that had built up way before us.
And I couldn't save him.
"Maybe if we had just run away when we had the chance." I whispered.
Roman gave me a weak smile that didn't reach his eyes.
"Yeah. Maybe." He spoke but there was no emotion behind his voice. It's like he had turned it all off.
Roman turned sharply when the tent begun to open.
There was a man I didn't recognise.
He looked surprised to see Roman.
"General." He nodded.
Roman nodded back. "Valencia's mother wants to see her." He spoke.
Roman nodded. "I'll escort her." He spoke.
The man nodded before turning around to leave.
"I don't want to see her." I seethed.
Roman looked indifferent to her anger.
"Well you need to eat." He spoke.
He reached into a drawer I hadn't noticed before and brought out a black jacket. "It's cold out. Come on, Theresa usually has supper outside."
Roman held out the jacket to me.
"I don't want to see her!" I repeated.
Roman sighed.
He lowered the jacket slightly.
"Listen." He spoke seriously. "Ornyx isn't a man you play games with. Being stubborn isn't admirable. You can't keep playing the Silvercrest side forever. You thought Silvercrest showed hostility to outsiders? These wolves? They hate the Silvercrest pack. Tolerance runs way lower here." He took a step closer to me. "So take my advice and play the ally. It could be worse. You have your mum back. Isn't that what you wanted?"
He held up the jacket again without another word making it clear that he didn't want anymore questions.
I reluctantly turned and let him help me into it.
He zipped it up looking into my eyes.
I knew like me he was wishing for a different time. A time when we still loved each other for this to be enough.
Roman took me by the arm trying to be gentle but despite what he said, it was clear I was still a prisoner.
There were other tents like mine set up.
I looked around and saw an array of mostly grey and black wolves.
Most were in there wolf state.
They would perk up and look at me when Roman and I walked past.
He seemed unbothered by the curiosity but I was uncomfortable.
If the Silvercrest pack could hate me for being a Van Cliffe mated to their alpha, I wonder how much of a traitor I seemed to them.
Roman and I walked for what felt like ten minutes before we got to the edge of the camp.
It was close to a cliff.
A fire was lit in the centre of about half a dozen people and food was set up in between them on a blanket.
I saw my mother, the fire lighting up her big hair. She drink something from a cup as she laughed with a girl beside her who looked to be in her early twenties maybe.
They noticed Roman's and my arrival and their animated chatted grew silent as they studied us curiously.
My mother got up. "It's okay my children." She spoke. "Everyone here is a friend." She spoke as she walked towards Roman and I.
I saw the wariness in everyone's eyes when they looked at me but they continued eating and talking but it was clear that the mood had changed slightly.
"My baby." My mum tried to hug me but I leaned away.
She didn't seem too surprised by my reaction.
She just smiled as if this was normal and I would come around.
She reached forward and placed a hand on Roman's cheek affectionately.
"I knew you would find a way to redeem yourself, my child. Ornyx was impressed. I never stopped telling him how efficient and trustworthy you've always been."
Roman didn't seem to have much of a reaction. I figured this was about Roman bringing me in.
For someone who had raised Roman and had Ornyx's ear, it seemed strange to me that she would let Ornyx banish Roman like that.
"Yeah." Was all Roman said. "I'm gonna head to my tent. I'm sure alpha Ornyx still has some things in store for me tomorrow." He spoke sounding a bit down.
My mum frowned. "You should stay. Eat with me and your brothers and sisters. The war looms and I don't know when we'll have the chance to do this again."
I didn't know if this was a regular thing. But this 'big happy family' my mother was selling didn't seem to be appealing to Roman.
"I'm tired Theresa." Was all he said.
My mum placed a hand on his arm gently. "Things will get better for you." She reassured him.
Roman didn't react. He simply turned to me. "I'll see you tomorrow." He muttered.
He then turned to leave in the direction he had come.
My eyes followed him.
I don't think I had ever seen Roman so down and void of life.
It was scary.
No matter how bad things had gotten for him I Woodfell, he always held onto the belief that he could leave someday.
It really only now dawned on me what he was saying about losing something. Not being sure about where he stood here. How his whole life's mission now seemed futile.
Like he had lost his will to live.
"He'll be fine." My mum spoke from behind me. "Out of all my kids, his always been one of the strongest."
I turned to her. "You mean your puppets?" I spat.
She frowned slightly. "I didn't raise you to be disrespectful, Crystal. Remember that." She leaned forward and whispered. "And acknowledge your privilege."
She stood back again. "Now, let's eat and meet everyone."
She looped her arm around me like all was swell and turned to her people.
"Everybody, my daughter, heir of the Van Cliffe title, Valencia." She introduced me with a huge smile.
Everyone looked at me curiously.
They all seemed fairly young. If I was to guess, they all ranged from maybe sixteen to early twenties.
I wondered if they were all like Roman.
"Say hi." My mother nudged me.
I stared at all of them wondering if one of them would be the one to kill me.
I said nothing.
My mother chuckled. "She's shy. And she's still getting used to being home at last."
She directed me to sit on the ground beside her.
I studied all the food. I wanted to fast in defiance but my stomach grumbled painfully and I knew I couldn't hold out.
I felt someone's eyes on me.
I turned and saw a younger looking guy staring at me.
"What was it like? Living among them? Did they brainwash you?" He asked in wonder.
"Ted!" The girl who had been sitting next to my mother before chided.
My mum had filled up a plate and handed it to me with a fork.
I noticed how everyone was staring at me like I was some kind of alien.
I gingerly pushed my food around on the plate deciding to remain quiet.
"Ted's question is valid." Another guy with curly dark hair shrugged. He was twirling something around in his hand and I realised it was a knife. "The Silvercrest spend their lives indoctrinating their young with the message that we're the enemies. Spreading lies and propaganda instead of teaching them to be tough."
"Must we always talk about propaganda and agendas all day long?" A pretty girl with short dark hair spoke with an eye roll and a groan. "Can't we have one meal where we talk about lovely things? Hey, my hair looks good today. That's lovely isn't it?
"Everything about you looks lovely today." The guy spoke as he leaned in to kiss the girl.
She playfully pushed him away, her face tinting pink as she smiled.
"There's a time for everything Reggie." She scolded.
"A time to laugh, a time to dance and a time to totally gross everyone out." The Ted guy spoke with a roll of his eyes.
The girl picked up a grape and tossed it at him but he easily dodged.
"Children. We don't waste food." My mum spoke calmly as she took a bite of what looked like steak but otherwise she seemed unphased by this behaviour like it was an everyday thing.
The girl and the Reggie guy started their own conversation seeming removed from the group.
I quietly ate trying to ignore everyone.
But the whole time I couldn't help but be bothered by how my mum laughed and interacted with everyone.
She reached over to fix a red headed girl's hair and told the Ted guy not to talk with food in his mouth more than once.
She was so... motherly.
This is where she had been when she had left me. Raising everyone here.
"We've got guard duty." The Reggie guy and who I'm guessing was his girlfriend were the first to get up. "See ya later everyone. Theresa." They came over to plant kisses on her cheek.
The Reggie guy paused and whispered to her. "Is David like officially back?"
I listened suddenly paying attention.
"I'll have to discuss that with Ornyx later." My mother responded in a low voice.
The Reggie guy frowned. "We're gonna need him. You know with the Meggy situation -"
"A time for everything, Reggie." My mother spoke, her voice still low but stern.
I saw the Ted guy's face drop slightly.
Reggie nodded.
He said his goodnights before leaving.
When the last person got up to go, it was just my mum and I.
I turned to her. "I'm tired too."
She nodded quietly. "I'll have a guard take you back to your tent but sweetie?" She frowned at me. "You're home. Act like it."
I furrowed my brows at her. "My home is with my dad. My real dad. Or even uncle Victor. Or Tristan. And you have him locked up being tortured. You want me to be happy, mum? Let him go." I begged.
She reached forward, running her hand down my braid gently before looking up at me.
"You'll learn to see things clearly one day. You'll learn to embrace your life and your role in all this. You'll be happy."
"Tristan makes me happy and as long -" I didn't know what to say. I didn't see him lasting long with the state he was in and the conditions they were putting him through. "If he dies so are any chances of me ever being happy again, mum." I got up just as a man showed up.
My mother frowned. "His just a boy, baby. I wasn't around to teach you this but you can't just live for some boy. Especially when you're this young."
I shook my head at her. "He'll never just be some boy. He's my mate. He'll always matter more than most. And if I lose him this way... mum, I don't think I'll ever recover."
I didn't wait for whatever else she had to say. I simply turned around and let the man lead me back to my tent.
I was considering fighting to stay awake. Maybe to come up with an escape plan. But the minute my head hit my pillow, I succumbed to sleep.
I dreamt of Mikey but... it wasn't a dream.
"Mikey?" I called.
He was sitting forward on a couch staring at what looked like battle plans.
We were in a room with a white wall and papers and scrolls spread all over.
He turned to look at me caught off guard.
He rose slowly furrowing his brows at me.
"Crystal? What are you..." he trailed off as realisation seemed to hit him. "The mind link."
I walked closer to him. "The mind link?"
He nodded. "You must be in some kind of resting state and your mind subconsciously slipped into mine."
I nodded. "Yeah I fell asleep."
He nodded. "It happens. You do not want to know the kind of dreams I would walk into before Josh and I learnt to control our link." His eyes widened suddenly. "Wait, where are you? Where's your team? You all went radio silent? Did something happen? Did you find T?"
I felt anxious telling Mikey everything. And most importantly I felt like a failure.
I looked at the ground. "We found Tristan, he's alive-"
"Thank goodness."
"But his a prisoner here at the Shadow pack camp."
Mikey's face dropped. "What?"
I felt tears form in my eyes. "They've hurt him and - and they're torturing him, Mikey. I - I don't know what to do."
Mikey suddenly got a serious look on his face. "You're at the Shadow pack camp? How? Where's Raphael?"
I sucked in a deep breath to compose myself as I explained everything that happened up to this point.
Mikey listened quietly.
I had never seen him so serious.
"Okay." He spoke. He seemed deep in thought. "Okay." He said again.
"We uhm... I have to get word to Josh. We assumed the worst when we didn't get an update from Raph but... you said you don't know where he is?"
I shook my head. "I haven't heard anything since we got separated. They're keeping me secluded. I don't know what they plan on doing with me."
Mikey nodded. "Okay." He walked over to grab one of the scrolls and he stretched it out. "Sorry about the mind space appearance. I've been going through battle strategies left and right. Okay look," he spoke "we got the upper hand by attacking Ornyx first but his guys recovered quickly. They weren't ready but they were anticipating this fight. We're sending the second wave in tomorrow but I was thinking we send in both the second and third. It's a risk to leave our home ground so unguarded but I think we need to pull in the big guns if we even have a chance.
The Union is still on the fence but the packs willing to fight are gonna send in troops as back up soon.
We can overwhelm Ornyx and infiltrate the camp in two days max."
Mikey looked up at me. "Think you can hang on till then?"
I thought about Roman telling me to play the ally.
"I think I can." I spoke. "But Tristan's in really bad shape. You'll need to find a way to move faster, please Mikey."
He frowned. I knew he was trying to play the alpha. Trying to keep his emotions at bay but this was still his brother.
He nodded. "I'll try my best... just - just find a way to keep him safe. Help is on the way."
I nodded. "Thanks Mikey."
I saw him frown and I saw a young boy who looked scared.
"I mean it, Crystal. He has to come back to us. We've already lost so much."
I nodded. "I'm gonna fight for him. I promise."
A light flickered. Mikey looked up. "I think you're waking up." He spoke. He looked at me desperately. "Stay safe and -"
My eyes shot open and I found myself in my sleeping bag.
Roman was sitting in the tent looking down at me.
"Hey." He greeted softly. "Ornyx wants to talk."