Chapter 39: XXXVIII

"You know you're the alpha, right?" Raphael laughed as he walked towards me. "If you needed a ride back home, all you had to do was ask and we'd have sent the whole freaking line up."

I smirked. "That is exactly what I did not want."

Raphael stopped in front of the bush I stood behind. "Yeah, because showing up butt naked was a way better option."

I rolled my eyes. "Just give them to me."

Raphael chuckled and tossed me the backpack he was carrying before turning around to give me my privacy.

"You should be grateful that I even showed up to bring clothing for your royal ass. Where did you leave Peter and Bridge?" Raphael asked.

I opened the backpack and scanned through the clothes.

"They took the jet." I called over my shoulder.

"Ah, the smart choice." He commented.

"I wanted to run, okay?" I spoke as I put my legs through the sweats.

College was always fun. It had gave me a chance to be free of the unbearable weight of being alpha no matter how brief. It gave me a chance to be normal or at least pretend to be.

The only problem with that was the restrictions it came with including not being able to shift regularly.

I had told both the council and the elders that I wanted the full college experience. Which meant no entourage, no private housing or private tutors.

Just me, Bridget and Peter and the opportunity to be normal seventeen year olds.

Unfortunately that included not shifting as much and having to confine my wolf and stay in human form.

I had so much pent up energy stirring inside me because of that. That's why I was dying to shift and running home, nothing but the woods and my instincts was exactly what I had needed.

I stepped out of the bushes when I was fully dressed.

I looked down at the t shirt I wore, noticing for the first time that there was an image printed on it.

Raphael snickered.

"Don't look at me. It was the twin's idea."

There was an image a smug looking cartoon wolf with the words, 'howl's it going?' At the bottom.

"Very funny." I responded dryly but I couldn't help but smile. The funny thing about the whole college thing was the fact that I actually spoke to Mikey and Joshua more than I did when I was home.

"So how's the ship holding up?" I asked as I threw my arm over Raph's shoulder.

"You mean 'is everyone still mad at you for abandoning your post right after a major war?'" He grinned at me. "That would be yes."

I rolled my eyes. "They're the ones who wanted an educated alpha."

We walked towards his car which was packed by the road.

"Yeah an educated alpha, not an alcoholic " Raphael stopped and turned to look at me.

He looked judgemental.

I scoffed.

"You have someone following me or something? Or are you just monitoring my drinking habits? Everyone has a drink once in a while, Raph, you know that." I told him

His expression grew stern. I knew what that look meant. He was establishing himself as being older than me. As being more experienced. We were friends but there was still an age gap.

"You're seventeen, Tristan." He spoke.

"Is this the part where you give the the underage drinking speech? Don't play the saint, you did worse at much younger." I told him, putting up my own guard. He might have been older but he shouldn't act holier than thou.

"And they almost destroyed me and everything I loved." He spoke angrily. "If it wasn't for your dad and the pack army, I would be wasting my life away somewhere."

"Yeah well my father's freaking dead now." I spat at him. "Both my parents are."

"Mine are too." He spoke.

My expression softened.

"Sorry, I didn't mean -"

What I wanted to say was that I didn't mean to be a jerk but I was angry. So so angry all the freaking time and the alcohol made that go away.

"I get it, man." Raphael spoke gruffly. "The war took everything from me. My parents and Lydia..." his face changed and I knew it was still too painful for him to talk about.

"But I still have my grandmother and you still have yours and Anita and your brothers and friends as well as your pack. You have people who love you and people to live for. So choose to live, Tristan." He spoke, putting a hand on his shoulder.

I looked at the ground. "You know my mother used to tell me that the most important pillar of the pack was peace and harmony." I clenched my fist and focused my eyes on it. "And we fought for that too. We fought for it to our dying breaths. But what we had to give up to get it -"

"They turn you into weapons then tell you to find peace." Raphael let out a humourless laugh.

I looked up at him and shook my head. "How do you find peace after what we've been through? After everything we've seen?"

"They're things that are bigger than us, Tristan."

I rolled my eyes. "I've been praying, Raphael! No one is freaking listening!"

Raphael just stared at me for a while.

I hadn't realised how worked up I had gotten. I could feel my Wolf on the brink of escape. I had no doubt my eyes were glowing.

Anyone else would have been nervous but Raphael just stared, unfazed.

I took in deep breaths trying to control myself.

Raphael sighed. "Maybe it's you, T, maybe you haven't been listening." He turned to unlock his car. "Come on, the elders wanted to throw a party to celebrate your return."

I hadn't been listening?

What was there to listen to? No one was freaking talking!

I started to follow Raphael  but then I heard something. And felt something.

"What is that?" I asked Raphael as I turned to look around. The sound was so sharp, so distinct.

Raphael looked at me in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

I heard it again. I flinched. It was so clear, how could he not hear that?

"You don't hear that?" I asked as I walked closer to the thicker foliage, trying to see through the trees.

"Stop it, T. I know you're just messing with me because of what I said." Raphael spoke in irritation.

"No I - arg!" I let out an involuntary howl.

Something was definitely calling me. Not me, my wolf.

"Tristan." Raphael spoke more seriously. "It's probably a stray human. Come on, cut it out."

That wasn't it. We were closer to the border and humans tend to go hiking in this area but that wasn't it.

My wolf was currently in control and any explanation I was going to give Raphael would never be heard because at that moment, I felt myself shifting and running into the woods.

I need to find the source of that sound.

I heard Raphael yelling after me but I didn't pay any attention to him.

I was on a mission that I didn't quite understand myself.

The sound was becoming more and more distinct. It was a girl and.... she was crying.

Following instinct alone, I let my wolf ears guide me as I tore through the woods in a desperate pursuit for something I didn't quite understand.

Then it hit me the minute I saw her.

I found her.

Mine. My wolf growled.

My eyes scanned her. She looked at me in a mixture of shock and fear.

She was... perfect.

I found myself shifting back to my human form without even thinking about it.

"Oh wow - um." The girl quickly diverted her gaze from my nudity.

Crap.

Nice going Tristan.

The girl took off her jacket quickly and tossed it at me.

I absent-mindedly picked it up to cover myself but my eyes didn't leave her.

My wolf was taking her in, memorising every inch of her.

'Mine." I found myself growling.

The girl stared at me, still looking partially confused.

'Who are you?'  She asked, lookining like she wanted to step forward but thought better of it. "I mean - what's your name?"

I stepped forward. Again, not of my own accord, it was my wolf urging me to be closer to her.

"Tristan. Tristan Melrose. What's yours?"

For a minute she just stared as if in a trance, then she shook her head as if something had pulled her back.

She took a shaky step back from me making me frown.

"Tristan Melrose. As in... the alpha?"

I  nodded and stepped forward my eyes were still stuck on her. Her voice was perfect, her skin was perfect, her eyes were perfect, she was perfect.

"I - I can't be here." She spoke, turning to look around as if someone would jump out at her from somewhere.

"Wait!" I called, confused by her fear.

Had I done something to make her feel unsafe.

You're naked, genius. A voice reminded me.

Right. Not my smoothest move.

"Wait -" I called out reaching out for her but quickly bringing my hands back to my jacket. "You do realise what's happening here, right?"

I had seen people find their mates. I had seen the moment of bliss and captivation. The obsession with the very being God had put on this earth to be compatible to them.

I had seen that happen so many times around me but I had more or less given up on the notion that I would ever be able to experience it. But now here she was and here I was.

My soul mate stood in front of me and I infront of her but something didn't seem right.

It felt extremely one sided. Didn't she feel it too? The pull? The magnetism. I didn't necessarily want to hold her but to be close to her all the time. To take her in and know her inside and out.

"Um, listen - I think there's been a mistake." She spoke.

"A mistake?" I asked in confusion.

She looked agitated. "Um, yeah. I can't be your mate. I'm a... I'm not what you think I am."

"You can be whatever you want to be." I spoke immediately desperately not wanting her to go.

I immediately blamed my love struck Wolf for that cheesy line.

"What I mean is, I'm a... I'm half human."

"So?" I asked.

She stared at me at a if I had grown another head. "You're the alpha." She emphasised the words.

I chuckled. "I know who I am."

"Okay... I know I'm new to this but I'm pretty sure alphas can't... what's the word?"

"Imprint." I provided.

"Yeah, imprint on... people like me."

"Alphas can do whatever they want." I spoke, I was about to step forward again but instead I  felt a sharp pain in my chest.

Something was wrong. She was slipping away. I could feel it. And it freaking hurt.

I looked up at her. "Are you rejecting me?"

She shook her head. "I'm sorry..." she spoke, looking afraid. "But trust me, you don't want me."

What did she mean I didn't want her? Of course I wanted her. Right now she was all I wanted.

I clutched my chest with one hand as the pain intensified.

"P-please." I groaned, the pain was growing stronger and I felt myself fall to the ground.

I saw her look even more frightened. She started backing away. "I'm sorry but trust me, this is for the best."

With that she spun around and ran off and I was left there with a broken heart.

I woke with a start and sat up in my bed heaving.

Bridget sat at my dresser flipping through the pages of what looked like a folder.

"It's not even 6.am yet, T." She spoke, not taking her eyes off what she was reading.

I ran a hand down my face not even bothering to look at the digital clock beside me.

"Yet you're still here." I grumbled.

Bridget set aside the folder and looked at me irritably. "I think you forget how this works. When you can't sleep. I can't either and quite frankly, I got tired to tossing and turning in bed over Crystal."

With our minds open to each other, Bridget often knew what was in my head. So if what was in my head was keeping  me awake, it would keep her awake as well.

It wasn't exactly the type of thing I would want to subject my closest friend to or anyone really. I mean who would want someone having constant access to their personal thoughts. But the thing is, it is part of the job description.

"You know I could turn it off for the night, get you your precious beauty sleep." I offered.

Bridget rolled her eyes at me. "I would love that but we both know we can't do that in the middle of a mission." She spoke.  "Besides..."

Bridget looked at me, it was dark in the room, the curtains were drawn back providing some dim lighting from outside but I could read her expression just as well, sympathy.

"I know what's currently going through your mind, T, and it's not pretty. You shouldn't have to go through it alone." Bridget spoke as she steppes closer and folded her arms across her chest.

I cleared my throat and threw the sheets off myself.

"We have more serious things to handle." I told her getting out of bed.

I could feel her eyes on me.

"This is your safe space, Tristan. We're no longer in front of the others. You can talk to me about how you feel."

How I feel.

How did I feel about my mate asking me to leave the room so that she could speak to her ex boyfriend? The same way I had felt when May had to sit down across from me and inform me of how my aforementioned mate had been extremely convincing in making her ex think she still had feelings for him.

I walked towards the window and looked out at the night. A run in the woods would definitely help me clear my head right about now.

"You know, they tell us all these things about soul mates and we believe it." I started. "We grow up thinking we're going to find the loves of our lives and be with them forever and when it happens..."

I turned to look at Bridget. She was listening attentively.

"They don't tell you that the person you love might already be in love with someone else." She finished for me.

I immediately knew that she wasn't talking about Crystal anymore. She was talking about our situation.

I loved Bridget. That, I could never deny. I cared about her deeply and all I wanted in this life was to see her happy. And I wanted to give her that. But even before I had met Crystal, before we had even tried to see if we could truly make something work, I knew I would never be able to give Bridget what she deserved.

The crappiest part about being in each other's heads all the time is knowing exactly what the other knows to be true already.

"She lied to you, again." Bridget suddenly blurted out, changing the topic. I could feel her hiding her true thoughts and I hid mine as well.

"About her friend, Christopher Perkins. Roman contacted him as well and she didn't tell us that part. Or you." Bridget spoke.

When May had reported to me, that's the first thing that had grabbed my attention, Crystal revealing that Roman had in fact contacted someone else.

I couldn't help but get impatient with her. She said she would tell me everything. Why leave such an important part out.

"She said that she was trying to protect him." I spoke.

I hadn't spoken to Crystal after I had left. May had been the one to fill me in on all the happenings with the call. Crystal had told her about Roman contacting her friend, Christopher as well.

Bridget sighed. "Even if I wanted to believe her, that doesn't exactly sound convincing. I mean who is she protecting him from? us?"

I really wanted to be on Crystal side but that's honestly what it felt like.

The only parties in this were Roman and me. If she wasn't protecting her friend from Roman by not telling us, she was protecting him from me. Did she think I was capable of hurting her friend.

I asked her to trust me and she omitted such a huge piece of the puzzle.

"Let's move on." I told Bridget, "Roman told this Christopher guy that Crystal had to get out of Woodfell, that she was in danger."

Just the thought of any harm coming to Crystal put me on edge.

"Yeah and we deduced that it was probably part of his plan to get her to go to him. His a spy. Spies lie. We don't have a reason to believe Crystal is in immediate danger."

"Except there's a mole in my freaking pack." I told Bridget.

The thought that someone who claimed to be loyal to my people had infuriated me.

This pack had run on loyalty for years.

It had run on loyalty when my mother ran it and my grandfather and his grandfather but now I'm in charge and there's a freaking mole running around somewhere.

"And a seventh rogue unaccounted for." I added.

"May said that part may have been a slip of the tongue." Bridget spoke. "Her and Peter went through the attack dozens of times, they were only six. And we have those in custody. We would have noticed a seventh van cliffe Wolf lurking around."

"Unless it isn't a van Cliffe. The Wolf that attacked Joshua had been a half ling with the silver crest scent." I pointed out. "It could be lurking around or someone could be hiding it."

I didn't want to admit it but Roman was too smart to let anything slip.

He was calculated and smart. He had lived as a spy in my territory for ten years, infiltrated my AAP and even gotten me to invite him into my house.

He wasn't stupid. He was crafty and calculated.

"I get what you mean." Bridget nodded, picking up on my thoughts.

"But are you really willing to take that chance with Crystal's safety by choosing to call his bluff?"

Roman had fooled me once before. If saying there was a seventh Wolf was a trick to see if Crystal could be trusted not to tell us what he thought we didn't already know, he would expect me to dispatch a bunch of my men looking for this supposed seventh Wolf and his mole would tell him that he had been compromised.

Staying put was the best choice.

No one would get to Crystal. Not in my house. Not with me. I wouldn't let that happen.

"I'm not calling his bluff, I'm just choosing not to play his mind games." I told Bridget.

Because that's what this was. The bastard had worked in close proximity to me during his internship, learnt my calls and my strategies. But I had learnt a lot about him too. He was the 'good guy' who tried too hard to be the good guy.

He had always been too good in combat. I didn't want to admit it before but after he had exposed himself I knew what I had observed over the years was true. Roman Desireé had been taught to go for the kill in combat. He was always on another level from his peers but he tried to disguise it with fake mediocrity.

Roman had always worn a mask and I had always thought so but dismissed it because I knew that any person would expect me to be suspicious of the guy who was with my mate and write it off as a case of paranoia on my part.

"You think he would try to manipulate us when it comes to Crystal? Three years is a long time to fake a relationship, you don't think it was real enough for him to actually have developed feelings for her over the years?"

I  knew Bridget didn't want to say what she was saying for my sake but it's something we needed to consider. Had Roman been faking it with Crystal? If he had known she was my mate this whole time, it made sense, she was the perfect weapon against me. But if their relationship had been a lie...

I immediately put out the flame of hope that quickly ignited in me.

That would crush Crystal...

"Well that doesn't even hold a flamw to the big guns he brought out." Bridget sighed. "Her mother."

I was taken back to one of the few times Crystal had actuaally called him.

It was a few weeks after the rejection. I had gone running, hoping with all my heart and praying that she had had a change of heart.

But that was immediately deflated when I looked at the photograph she had handed me.

She needed a favour.

We had met behind an old house in the woods.

She had been wearing a baseball cap and dark clothes as if she had wanted to appear as inconspicuous as possible.

I had chosen to drive. Mostly because I had wanted to drive her back home to meet everyone if she had infact changed her mind.

She hadn't.

The photograph was of her and her parents. The woman looked a lot like her except with more feline features that made her look 'dangerously beautiful' if that even made sense.

Like something you felt drawn to even if you knew it would only hurt you.

She had a big fro like Crystal's when it wasn't in braids except her mother's was longer. She had Crystal's eyes. A beautiful hazel and Crystal's full lips.

There was a beauty spot on her top lip that gave her this deliberate sultry look.

But that's where the resemblance ended. Crystal didn't seem to share any features with her father but the bond was evident.

In the photo, a younger Crystal - maybe ten - was leaning against her father and he beamed widely at the camera.

He was shorter that his wife by a few inches, on the smaller side too. He wore thick glasses and a bow tie on a striped sweater.

When I  had later shown the photograph to Bridget, she had quite bluntly said what I had secretly been wondering. 'How did a man like that get a woman like that?'

Crystal had asked me if I could help her find them and of course I had said yes.

Typically, you don't do favours for the mate who rejected you. In fact, the wise thing to do would be to stay away. To try to heal. But some part of me had always known that that wouldn't be possible.

"We couldn't track down her mother." Bridget spoke. "Don't you still wonder why it had been so easy to find her father not a trace of her mother?"

I remembered giving the photograph back to Crystal. Seeing the tears that had formed in her eyes when I had told her I didn't find her parents.

A partial lie.

"His human." I shrugged.

Finding Crystal's father had been easy because he had never left. He was still in their home. Miserable but alive and well and as far as we could tell,, completely clueless.

"But her mother, she had been Van Cliffe as well. She knows how to hide and disappear." I reminded Bridget.

There was no trace of Theresa Swan or Theres Benson. And I honestly hadn't been surprised. I didn't know why she would leave Crystal behind but I knew how well she must have learnt to disappear and stay hidden. Running away from Van Cliffes was hard enough, not having them find you required skill that she must have had if she had managed to keep both herself and her brother off Ornyx Van Cliffe's radar.

"You think he's bluffing but I think there's more to this." Bridget spoke, staring at me.

"Roman knows what Crystal's parents mean to her. Of course he would use them as leverage." I spoke.

"If he was bluffing, why would he use Crystal's mum instead of the way easier target. Her dad." Bridget pointed out. "T, why would he lie about knowing where her mother is?"

"To get her to go with him." I replied.

If we couldn't find Crystal's mother with my vast resources, how would Roman have been able to do it?

"There you go underestimating the kid like you did in the first place." Bridget spoke, reading my mind. "Roman clearly isn't working alone. Whoever his working for has resources as well and we'd be foolish not to assume that they could even rival ours. Think about it, T, I know you're already considering deep down. Crystal's mother could have been conniving with Roman from the beginning."

I thought about that. Crystal's mother had been a mystery to me from the beginning. I had never met her. From what I had found out from both Crystal and her father, she had loved her family.

So why leave them voluntarily?

Unless it hadn't been voluntary...

I looked at Bridget. "Roman said he had Crystal's mother. Let's assume that's true. What do you think he meant?"

"Prisoner or fellow spy?" Bridget asked.

As I said. None of us knew Theresa Swan but the more she became a mystery, the more I became suspicious.

"I know what you're thinking, T." Bridget spoke softly.

I really didn't want her to say it.

"It's the million dollar question." Bridget continued.

I sucked in a deep breath knowing she had to say it out loud whether I liked it or not.

"And it makes the most sense. Roman must be spying for Van Cliffe's."

I clenched my fists. "We destroyed the Van Cliffes. Ornyx died." I growled.

"Xavier's body was never found." Bridget added.

It was just a theory. I told myself.

We didn't spend all those years in the war just to have the Eclipse pack rise up again. I did not lose my parents and so many soldiers and innocents to have the Van Cliffes return.

"We need to question the rogues." I told Bridget.

"They won't talk -"

"Then we'll make them." I growled.

It was time I listened to my advisers. I didn't want to revert to torture. I didn't want to become that person again. But I knew I had no choice now.

I had to protect my people.

I would get my answers. No matter what it took.

Bridget nodded at me and I could tell she completely understood what had to happen.

What I had to do, the demons I had to dig up to protect my pack.

"I'll get the car ready." She spoke.

I shook my head. "No. First we get Roman."

Bridget stared at me. She didn't have to speak. I knew what she was thinking.

'You know whatever happens, you're going to lose her.'

I knew that. And I hated it.

But to be honest. She was never mine to begin with.