"I don't need to hear you say it back, Crystal. I honestly don't. But I love you. And I know I don't deserve your love because you were right, I'm broken."
Ha!
"... I just wanted to give you something that special as well. Something you would take with you everywhere you go. Almost like you have a piece of me with you... Do you like it?"
Oh why yes, Ro, I simply adore being spied on.
"The Silvercrest pack is all I've ever really known as home."
Then why did you betray them?
"Crystal... I'm still here."
No, you're not Ro.
"We can have anything we want, Crystal. I can give us anything we want. Even Woodfell."
I never wanted Woodfell, Roman, I wanted you!
"My Lady is right here, where else would I rather be?"
Liar!
I remember the day Roman left like it was yesterday. It was so ordinary and boring, it's still a wonder how I remembered it so vividly.
It was a Thursday. Because bad things only happen on Thursdays.
Roman had been wearing a striped navy blue and black golf shirt that Aunt Sarah had gotten him.
Kat called him 'boyscout' whenever he would wear it because for some reason, it made him look admitedly much younger.
He had AAP work to do. I had thought after he had finished up with their training, it would be better. No need to go into school three hours early or to leave three hours later.
But the internship portion was just as hectic. Roman had graduated but he wasn't planning on going to college until I graduated. Which I had told him a million times was stupid.
Uncle Victor and Aunt Sarah and Kat and Chris and the whole freaking AAP had told him it was stupid but the boy had made up his mind and there was no changing it.
I thought it had been sweet in a romance novel way but not in reality. I worked really hard but there was no guarantee that I would even get into the same amazing colleges Roman got into with his AAP backing.
And even though I did love him, we were too young to stake our lives on each other like that.
But he would always get so mad when I talked to him about it, so gradually, I stopped pushing.
Roman had long since moved out of Sal and Milly's house and gotten his own little apartment which I hardly visited because Roman was almost 20 and I was still 17 and Aunt Sarah and Uncle Victor were way more conscious of the age difference then. Even if it was barely two years.
They trusted us. But they didn't trust our hormones. (Uncle Victor's words)
So it was a Thursday and school was out.
It was summer vacation and Roman came over like he usually did. He brought Aunt Sarah her favourite cinnamon buns from Chris' mother's bakery and a brownie for Parker.
A vanilla glazed donut for Hazel but he didn't get to give it to her because for some reason, lately, Hazel had been really shy around Roman and would always hide out in her room when he popped up.
I got a box of different types of mini cupcakes because lately I could never decide on which ones I liked best.
I never ever got to eat all of them because my family were little sweet toothed thieves.
But anyway, Roman had come over that day and I remember hugging him and teasing him about using his AAP money to bribe my family into liking him with baked goods.
He had laughed and said 'they already love me'.
Which was true.
He only had an hour with me before he had to go back to work and Parker would not leave us be so we ended up in the living room, watching The Adventures of Gumball.
A strange show for a weird kid.
It explained a lot.
Roman had announced that he had to go and I remember dramatically throwing my arms around him, hugging him tightly and telling him not to go as I usually did. He had chuckled and kissed my forehead. (Parker had let out a huge 'yuk!' So I kissed his forehead as well.)
He had stood up, briefly infuriating Parker because he was blocking the TV.
He then squeezed my hand and said, 'see you later.'
I had nodded and called out a careless, 'love ya, (I covered Parker's ears) hotstuff."
He winked and chuckled before leaving.
I hadn't thought to walk him to the door or to kiss him one last time.
He said, 'see you later.'
I didn't see him later, not after a day, not after weeks, not after three months...
You should have just stayed, Roman. You should have just stayed.
"I've made up my mind." I told Kat.
We had spent most of the night taking out my braids while Kat talked about how I couldn't move into the Alpha's manor with two month old braids.
She had a point but the thought of having to actually deal with my hair irked me.
But we didn't really talk much about that.
We talked about the text messages.
Argued about it actually as I packed my stuff.
Kat thought we should text Roman back just to hear what kind of help he needed.
I didn't want to. I just couldn't bare the thought of talking to him again.
I was worried, don't get me wrong. So worried it made me sick. I thought of what trouble he could be in. What if he actually really did need my help and I was here being mad at him?
Finding out he had been spying on me had unnerved me. You don't spy on the people you love Roman Desireè!
Kat said we wouldn't actually help him, we just needed to know what he wanted. Maybe it would help with the investigation.
Of course I wanted to know, I wanted all this to be a mistake, I wanted him to say that he had been kidnapped or brainwashed or something.
But I had sat through the endless trials, I had seen the evidence against him. Roman had betrayed everyone, he was a spy and Kat was right, I shouldn't give him a chance to lie to me again.
"I'm telling Tristan." I told Kat the next morning.
She was going through my bag, trying to see if I had packed any of her clothes probably.
She rose her brows at me. "Are you sure?"
I looked at my phone which I had turned off last night.
I nodded.
"You were right. He needs to know. And I should have told him the minute it happened."
Kat nodded. "I support you. I know this can't be easy for you."
It wasn't.
Truth be told, I had made up my mind last night. I had also mentally apologised to Roman a million times.
I'm sorry, Ro, but I just can't trust you anymore.
I had been wanting to hear from him for months, to get an explanation but honestly, I wish he could have just stayed gone. Nothing would ever wash away the betrayal.
Part of me wondered if this could be a joke or a test. Maybe someone was testing my loyalty to the pack or to Tristan by sending the message. Either way, I had made up my mind.
"But, I just can't tell your parents. At least not just yet."
Kat looked at me in confusion. "They'll want to know."
"I know." I sighed. "But I just don't want to put them through all this again. Especially with the Van Cliffe mess."
"That's not your fault." She told me.
Uncle Victor's mind had been somewhere else entirely since he had gotten back last night. Everyone had noticed, even Parker.
"But it is."
The wolves were after me.
Bridget hadn't said it in so many words but I knew being here was putting everyone at risk.
Uncle Victor was stressed and it was because of me. I didn't want to add to that.
"I won't say anything." Kate agreed. "But you better visit often or I'll be forced to take up the role of the 'good child'." She spoke with a disgusted look on her face.
I smiled at my cousin. That was Kat for, 'I'll miss you.'
I walked towards her and wrapped my arms around her in a hug. "I'll be back before you know it. And we'll still see each other all the time."
"I know that, dork. Stop being such a cheeseball." She spoke but only hugged me tighter.
"Crystal!" I heard Aunt Sarah's voice.
I pulled away from Kat. Time to go.
I grabbed my suitcase and Kat took my duffel and we headed out the room.
Hazel ran up to me and hugged me. She frowned when she looked up at me.
"I can't believe you're leaving."
I patted her head affectionately. "It's only for a little while, Haze."
She looked up at me.
"Promise?"
I realised that I couldn't actually do that. There was no way of knowing how long all this would take but I hoped for the best.
Hazel would go through the complete changing anyday now and I wanted to be there to celebrate with her.
Aunt Sarah had baked me a cake and put up balloons on my changing day. Then she had taken me for a run in the woods.
It had been exhilarating. It was the first time I actually enjoyed being a werewolf.
I had loved sharing the experience with Aunt Sarah but I had wondered how amazing it would have been with my mother.
"I'll visit all the time." I promised instead. I held out my hand to her. "Walk me out?"
"Hold on. Not so fast." Kat stepped forward. "Why are you wearing mum's lipstick?"
Hazel looked away quickly. How hadn't I noticed her red lips earlier?
Kat and I shared a look before grinning at each other and singing, "Rick."
Hazel hid her face. "Stop it!"
Kat threw her arm over Hazel's shoulder.
"Don't worry baby Sis, crushes are perfectly normal. But I wouldn't go the 'older guy' route like your cousin here."
I glared at Kat and she just raised her hands as Hazel giggled.
"Crystal!" Aunt Sarah called again.
I headed down the stairs with the closest people to sisters that I had.
Before we even took the last step, I sensed Tristan's presence and I found myself growing more excited.
He was in the kitchen, engaged in what looked like a very serious discussion with Aunt Sarah and Uncle Victor.
I noticed Parker was on the counter top, next to where Bridget stood, shoving a drawing in her face and explaining something.
I wanted to laugh at how helpless Bridget looked. The big bad Beta didn't know how to handle kids?
Rick was there too and Hazel suddenly moved behind Kat.
The minute we walked into the kitchen, the conversation halted.
Tristan looked at me. And it felt like I had been holding my breath but now that I saw him, I could breathe again.
I don't know if that had been my feelings or his through the empathy link.
He walked towards me and stopped right in front of me.
"Hey." He greeted.
"Hey." I responded.
Ladies and gents, have there ever been more awkward mates?
He looked at Kat and Hazel and then nodded. "Hello."
Kat, "heeey."
Hazel, "eep."
Tristan being my mate was something that I had normalised so much that I sometimes forgot that it was still a wonder to my family that the alpha was my mate.
Tristan looked confused but it quickly turned to concern when he turned back to me.
"How are you today?" He asked.
"Good." I responded.
"I tried to call you last night."
"Oh." I had stuffed my phone, which was still off, and the case in my bag. It was evidence now.
I wanted to tell Tristan exactly why my phone had been off but not in front of Uncle Victor and Aunt Sarah.
"The battery died." I explained.
Wow Crystal. Just wow. Surely an A student with a couple of Bs here and there can come up with something better.
Tristan looked confused so I quickly changed the topic
"How are you?"
"Great." He responded.
But he didn't look great. He looked tired.
He eyes drifted to my suitcase which I had set down.
"I'm sorry it has to be this way. I was going to come over last night to tell you the news myself but I was busy." He explained.
"It's okay." I told him.
But it wasn't. It really wasn't.
His brother had almost died.
Van Cliffe wolves had infiltrated Silvercrest territory.
And now my traitor ex boyfriend was asking me for help.
I couldn't help but think about how much easier Tristan's life would be without me in it. If he hadn't met me. If I hadn't come to Woodfell, none of this would have happened.
"What's going on? Did you find out why the Van Cliffe wolves are after me?"
"No." Tristan spoke.
I felt deflated. Great. Another mystery.
"Alpha." Bridget spoke up. She was holding up a phone.
Tristan sighed. "Can't it wait?"
"You want to tell her that."
Tristan looked back at me.
He really did look all so tired.
"Take it." I urged him.
He nodded.
"You should say goodbye to your family." Tristan told me as he stepped away and headed taking the phone from Bridget.
I looked at Aunt Sarah and Uncle Victor.
Aunt Sarah looked teary.
Please don't cry. I mentally begged.
If she cried, I would too.
I walked towards them.
"I'll see you guys soon." I spoke as I hugged both of them.
"Take care of yourself, sweetie." Aunt Sarah whispered.
"Promise." I replied as I pulled away.
Uncle Victor gave me a sad smile. "We'll figure this all out, kiddo."
I sucked in a deep breath and nodded.
"I'm going to miss you, Crystal!" Parker exclaimed as he rushed towards me and wrapped his little arms around my legs.
I patted him on the head.
"I'll miss you too, buddy."
He didn't let our sweet goodbye last long before running back to Bridget and yelling, 'I'll miss you the most!'
You think you're special to someone...
Tristan walked back in looking even more stressed than before.
He walked towards us.
"We should get going, that was my grandmother." He frowned slightly and looked at me. "She wants help with the ball prep. Are you up for it?"
The AAP ball. I can't believe I had forgotten about that.
I turned to look at Kat.
I know for a fact that Kat had procured the perfect AAP gown for the ball this year because she had been certain she would get picked. I immediately felt guilty at the fact that I would be on that line up instead of her.
"You're all going to be there, right?" I asked.
Aunt Sarah smiled. "We wouldn't miss it."
"I guess I'm up for it." I told Tristan.
He frowned. "You don't have to if you don't want to. After what happened yesterday..."
"I want to." I spoke.
Lie
I didn't want to.
But I needed something to take my mind off everything. I didn't know what kind of help Nana Francessca could possibly need from me but I figured I owed her after missing the shopping trip we were supposed to have yesterday.
"Okay." Tristan nodded at my aunt and uncle.
"I'll take care of Crystal. And for you safety, Rick will stay for another week."
Rick nodded firmly and I turned around and saw Hazel's face light up. Kat shook her head at her.
"We'll be going now." Tristan spoke.
I looked at my Aunt and Uncle then Parker who was still hugging Bridget's legs as she looked uncomfortable. Then I looked at Hazel and Kat.
This will be sorted out and i'll be back soon.
Or at least I hoped so.