You have to tell him how you feel, Allyson. You can't let him push you away.
My fingers traced along the smooth pendant in my pocket with the secret hope that Daxson would appreciate the gift. I shifted my eyes up to Alabama's massive training facility. It'd been two weeks since the Crimson Tide defeated Oregon in the National Championship game, but I was almost one-hundred percent sure that Daxson had still been living here.
He'd solidified his legacy in college football, but his focus had shifted to something biggerâ the NFL combine.
My phone vibrated from an incoming call from Madison. "Hey girl, is everything good?"
She sighed. "No. I need to talk to someone about my brother."
"How'd your visit go over Christmas break?" I leaned against the rail of the sky bridge that connected the training facility to the basketball gym.
Madison was quiet on the other end of the line. "My brother told me everything. He told me the truth about what went down with Samson." Her voice quivered like it was taking all her strength to tell me without breaking into tears.
"What he told you and what you knew didn't match up."
"Not at all. Samson lied to me. I spent all this time mad at my brother for nothing." She sniffled and blew her nose.
"Have you tried talking to Keith about it?"
"No."
"Why not?" I glanced up to watch someone enter the training facility.
"I don't know. Being alone seems easier right now. I doubt he'll want to hear all about my ex." I heard a crinkle and the tell-tale crunch of potato chips from across the line, so I knew how much she was hurting. Madison only ate junk food when she needed to keep the tears at bay.
"He should at least know about it." I stepped over to the entrance door and peeked through the glass.
If I'd learned anything in the past few weeks, it was that honesty was the best policy.
"I'll tell him eventually." She sighed. "I just really need some girl time right now."
I curled my fingers around my phone. "Look, I have something to do first, but I'll swing by when I'm done. We can watch Mean Girls."
"And stuff our faces with snacks?"
I laughed. "You know it."
After shoving my phone into my pocket and taking a few deep breaths, I hurried into the training facility before I could talk myself out of it. The sound of metal on metal filled my ears as I peeked around the doorway of the weight room. My eyes locked onto the familiar puzzle of tattoos along his muscular arms. I was surprised to see Demarcus squatting down to motivate him as Daxson lowered the bar to his chest one last time before hanging it back on the rack.
"That's it, man. The scouts at the combine ain't gonna know what hit 'em." Demarcus gave Daxson a high-five.
Daxson's face glistened with sweat beneath the lights. He bent to grab a towel and rubbed it across his face. "I think I can get another set in."
"Aye, bro. We've been here all morning. I get that your focused on training, but you can't let it take over your life." Demarcus squirted some water into his mouth. "It'll get you hurt."
Daxson rested his elbows on his knees and hunched his shoulders to stretch his back. "I'll be fine. I asked you to come to spot me, not coach my training session."
Demarcus sighed. "You're just trying to keep your mind off of someone."
Daxson glared at his brother.
"Why haven't you talked to her?"
"It's none of your business." Daxson took a long drink from a water bottle.
Demarcus folded his arms across his chest. "You can't hold out much longer man. Obviously, the other girls don't do it for you."
"Cut it out, D," Daxson barked, lying back on the bench press.
"I just don't want you to lose anothâ" Demarcus' eyes focused on me in the doorway and his jaw went slack.
"What the fuck are you looking at, bro?" Daxson jerked upright from the bench. When his eyes met mine, he groaned and got to his feet. "What do you want?"
"I just want to talk."
"You're so stubborn." Daxson folded his arms across his chest.
"You already knew that."
Demarcus cleared his throat. "Well, I think this is something that should stay between you two." He scooped up his gym bag and patted Daxson on the shoulder. "I'll catch you back at the apartment."
"It's good to see you, white girl." Demarcus grinned before leaving us alone in the room.
I looked back to Daxson. "Why's he here?"
Daxson studied me, probably trying to decide if he wanted to tell me. "Being back home was hard for him. Momma decided it would be better for him to stay with me for a few months. He's finishing his GED online."
"Good for him. I bet it's given you plenty of time to bond." I folded my arms across my chest.
"You could say that." Daxson turned to face me with his hands on his hips.
The red t-shirt he wore was splotchy, drenched in sweat and clinging to every muscular curve, but my eyes were focused on his face. There was a softness to his features that wasn't there before Christmas. A piece of me couldn't help but wonder if it had to do with Demarcus.
"Why are you here?" His voice filled the space between us.
"Because I never give up on something I want."
There was humor in his amber eyes. "You've definitely got the heart of a football player."
"And you've got a heart of stone." I tucked my hair behind my ears.
Daxson narrowed his eyes. I could tell he was growing uncomfortable with where the conversation was going. "I really don't think this is the best time to talk."
"If not now, then when?" I flung my hands. "This is the first time you've let me close in over a month."
"Did you forget we were trapped in an elevator?"
"Trapped is the key word. You ran the second you could." I frowned.
He put distance between us by moving across the room to the leg press machine. He lifted weights and slid them onto the bar. The scraping of the metal made me jump.
"Are you ever going to let me in?"
Daxson stepped beneath the bar and leveled it across his shoulders. "I don't know." He removed the bar from the rack and completed his reps.
After returning the bar to its resting position, he stretched to touch his toes. I shoved my hands into my pockets and shrugged. "Can we talk about it?"
He wiped the side of his face against his shirt. "You ask a lot of questions."
"You hate it."
He shrugged. "I find it amusing and slightly annoying."
I rolled my eyes.
"What is it that you think we should talk about?" He asked, folding his arms across his chest.
I played with my fingers and closed the distance between us. "I've grown as an individual the past few weeks."
"I think we both have."
I stopped in front of him. His shoulders stiffened, but he still stared me down.
"You're nervous," he said.
I stared at the ground with a small nod.
It took me by surprise when his fingertips traced along my cheek, and I shivered in response. He used the back of his hand to urge me to look at him.
I gazed intently at each divot of his lip, as if it could map out our future and tell me everything I didn't know. I didn't want to look up because if I did, I'd find myself at the mercy of his eyes.
"Dax," I whispered, not realizing how hard it would be to really say the words to him.
In any normal situation, he would've taken control and saved me from my inability to speak, but now he remained silent. His warm breath washed across my face.
"I'm in love with you." I looked into his eyes. "Before all of this, you stood by me despite my faults."
The feeling was so strange; it stretched throughout my whole body. It made me feel complete. It felt as though I was in a dangerous fire, yet completely safe at the same time. It felt as though someone had given me peace, and a hole I wasn't aware of had been filled. But no matter how good I felt, even I couldn't escape the fear of rejection.
He studied me like he was still searching for the right apology from me. My stomach flipped with the thought of him pushing me away again.
"My parents prejudice, that's the only thing I've ever hid from you. I've got no more secrets." I blinked away the tears.
"You still haven't told me why you kept it from me?"
"I was scared to lose you because I didn't know if I'd be strong enough to stand on my own, but I was also embarrassed to be a part of something so hateful."
He took my hand. His thumb traced small circles across my skin and his shoulders loosened. "I need you to promise me something."
I nodded.
He exhaled a shaky breath. "There will be no more secrets between us."
"Okay."
There was nothing in the world I would ever keep from him again. I wanted to share every piece of my life with him.
Daxson leaned forward to press his lips to my forehead and turned our bodies so that the bar pressed against my back. "You have no idea how hard these past few weeks without you have been."
"I'm sorry for hurting you."
Daxson rested his hands on the bar on either side of me. "You understand why I pushed you away, right?"
"I think there were multiple reasons."
He raised an eyebrow.
"I wasn't completely honest with you."
"Correct." He nodded.
"You didn't want to risk losing your family again."
Daxson straightened his posture and removed his hands from the bar. I could feel him trying to put distance between us again. "I still don't want to risk losing my family."
"I know." My fingers dug into my pocket and removed the smooth pendant. It dangled from the chain between us.
"What's this?"
I placed the metal pendant in his hand. "It's a gift."
He flipped it over a few times.
"It's part of your father's old safe, the one that melted in the fire. Your Momma kept a chunk of it."
He stared at the pendant and traced his thumb across the surface. "My father used to have this safe that he kept in his office. It was old and clunky which explains why it didn't make it out of the fire."
"What'd he keep in it?"
He shook his head. "He wouldn't tell us. It drove us crazy. When he took Momma out for dinner one night D and I tried to break into it. No matter how hard we tried, we couldn't get it open."
His eyes flashed from the pendant to my face. "Why'd my mother give it to you?"
"She wanted me to be the one to pass it on to you."
"Did she now?" He raised an eyebrow.
I nodded, but I couldn't hide the smile. "I called her. She wasn't happy with me at first, but she forgave me, and mailed me the metal. She said it's her way of telling you that it's okay to let me back into your life, back into your family."
"So, she knows everything?"
I looked up into his eyes. "Yes. I told her everything. I told her that our happiness is worth more to me than the support of my family."
His eyes darkened. "I don't want you to have to chose. It wouldn't beâ" I cut him off.
"I've already made peace with it." I placed my hand against his stomach, feeling his muscles tighten beneath my touch. "We just have to find the right time to tell them."
"What about Caleb?"
The thought of leaving Caleb was scaryâ almost like my heart wanted to stop beating. I curled my fingers into Daxson's t-shirt. Caleb was the one who told me I needed to stop worrying about him so much. He tried to prove to me he was growing up. I don't think Caleb quite understood what would happen once I told my parents about the decision to be with Daxson, but I hoped that with my mother's change of heart, I'd still at least be able to talk to him.
"We'll tackle the situation with Caleb when the time comes."
I think he could sense the sadness in my eyes so he leaned forward to press a soft kiss against my forehead. "How'd you know I would be here today?"
"Your Momma told me."
He chuckled. "It seems like she had a lot to say. Did she tell you anything else?" His eyes studied me like he was trying to gauge if I knew something I shouldn't know.
"Nothing important."
The corners of his mouth pulled into a smile. "Is there anything else you want to talk about?"
"Yes." I played with the bottom of his shirt. "I want to talk about the main reason you pushed me away."
"What do you mean?"
"You're afraid to open your heart again."
Daxson tilted his head to trail his lips along my jawline, his teeth nipping at the sensitive skin of my throat. "No, I'm not. I do care about you, Ally."
I'd just told him I loved him and he was still keeping me at arms length.
"Do you love me?"
Daxson's lips stopped their trail along my collarbone and his hands tightened around the bar. He pulled his head back until his eyes captured my firm gaze. "Would it make you feel better if I told you my biggest fear is losing you?"
It still infuriated me that he avoided my question. Why was it so hard for him to admit he loves me? But his words did ease some of the worry because they were like a promise for more to come.
"You didn't answer my question."
Daxson chuckled. "You're hard to please."
I rolled my eyes. "And you're in denial."
He smiled.
I shook my head and wrapped my arms around his neck, not giving a damn that he was sweaty. "I need you to know that I'm never going anywhere. I've learned what it's like to lose you, and I don't care to have it happen again. I'll fight for you, for us, until I can't any longer."
He shoved the pendant into his pocket and wrapped his arms around my midsection. He lifted me from the ground and my legs instinctively wrapped around his waist.
I raked my fingers through his thick curls as he walked us toward a secluded corner of the weight room, giggling when he dropped me onto a pile of yoga mats. "I'm sorry I interrupted your training session."
Daxson stretched out beside me. "I'm sorry I'm sweaty."
I laughed. "I wasn't going to say anything, but since you mentioned it..."
"Come here." Daxson wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against him. "I mentioned it, but I didn't mean for you to agree." He rubbed his neck against my cheek, smearing some of his sweat on me.
I wiped it off on my jacket and frowned. "Gross."
"It wouldn't be so gross if you were sweaty too," he whispered against my ear.
My breath caught in my throat when his hand wandered across my stomach, inching lower to where the heat was pooling between my legs. I squirmed against him with a quiet gasp and heat raced across my skin. It made me nervous to be so intimate in public, but I trusted Daxson to not get us in trouble.
"Dax, what if someone catches us?" I asked breathlessly.
His eyes darkened when he looked at me. "This is a private session. It was booked for only me. Don't worry about that, babygirl."
Every fiber of my being tingled beneath him. My body had craved his touch for so longâached for it; I was like putty in his hands.
"I want to hear you say it." He paused for a second to wait for a response.
I wasn't quite ready to give him that satisfaction, so I remained silent. One of his hands rose to grasp my chin and forced my lips to meet his. He sucked my bottom lip between his teeth, earning a quiet gasp from me.
His other hand pressed down along my hipbone and his thumb flicked across the button on my jeans. My hips pressed up desperately against his hand. His eyes flickered over his shoulder toward the door occasionally. I'm assuming to make sure Demarcus didn't wander back in.
"I want you," I breathed between kisses.
He swiftly undid the button on my jeans and his fingers glided down the front of my lace panties at a teasing rate. I arched my body back against his and bit my lip.
"Good girl."
The combination of his rough fingers rubbing tortuous circles between my thighs and the husky, warm tone of his voice was almost enough to send me over the edge. My eyes closed, but flew open when my phone started to vibrate. I struggled to pull it from my pocket with shaky hands.
"Dax, stop. I have to answer this," I breathed out.
Daxson chuckled. "You aren't handcuffed. You can answer the phone." His fingers worked my panties to the side with ease.
I answered the call and bit my lip. "What's up, Madison?"
"I was just wondering if you'd bring over some M&Ms."
His fingers continued to tease me and his lips roamed along my neck, placing soft kisses against my skin.
"Mmhm. Of course I can." I shivered when he swept my hair out of the way to gain better access to my neck.
"When are you heading this way?" She asked.
I shifted my body away from him and scooted over on the yoga mat. "Soon, I promise."
Daxson grinned and stretched his arm out to grab my thigh and tried to pull me back to him. I smiled and worked my way out of his grasp once more, stumbling to my feet.
"Alright, girl," Madison said, ending the call.
I re-buttoned my pants and stared down at Daxson. He was looking up from the yoga mat like he was a beacon of innocence. "You're naughty."
Daxson rested his hand on his chest and grinned. "You are too."
"No, I'm not."
He shrugged. "You chose to talk on the phone to your friend while I played with the pâ"
I placed my foot on his stomach, silencing him. "You could've stopped."
"You didn't want me too." He grabbed my ankle with a playful smirk. "You're off the phone now. We could finish what we started."
I shook my head and stepped over him. "I have a friend who needs my attention."
"But Ally," he pleaded, sitting up and placing his elbows against his knees. His tone was low and serious. "I want you to stay here with me."
I glanced at him over my shoulder at him with a smirk, raising my eyebrow. "My girl needs me, and at least I know she loves me."
Daxson's eyes darkened as he watched me. His silence was more of an answer than his words would've been.
"I'm sure that one girl who gives good head would be great company," I teased, despite the fact the words left a bitter taste in my mouth.
"You know I never actually did anything with her. You're the only girl I want."
I fixed my jacket. "Well, I guess that means you'll be willing to wait."
He grinned and rose to his feet. "How long do I have to do that?"
I wandered over to the door and turned to look back at him with a warm smile.
"I think we both already know the answer to that."