"Fucky-fuck-fuck!" My feet bounded down the stairs, shoes in hand, bag badly secured between my jaws. "Angelica are you down yet?" I screamed up the stairs in a muffled voice, tumbling into the kitchen at full speed.
Of course I had to wake up late the first day after spring break. And, of course it had to be after Henry and I fooled around and then drove to the airport, at you know, 4 in the morning.
Looking back on it, it definitely wasn't my brightest momentâ but it was definitely worth it.
I opened my mouth and let my bag drop to the floor, shoving one foot into a sneaker, my hand taking hold of the fridge handle, pulling it open and grabbing two apples for Angelica and Iâ it wasn't a lot but it'd have to be sufficient enough.
"What are you guys still doing home?"
I jumped, and turned around startled to become face to face with my father. He leant against the island, sipping on a mug that was steaming, the scent of coffee lofting in the air. He regarded me with a raise of his eyebrows.
He looked good, healthy even.
"I could ask you the same," I shut the fridge door and placed the apples down, screaming again, "Angelica, I have a test second period that I can't miss, get down here!"
My eyes narrowed at him, involuntarily.
"Yeah! Be down in thirty seconds!"
I didn't want Angelica's hopes to get up, about our father. Just because he wasn't making a mess anymore and was making us coffee every morning did not suddenly mean that he was forgiven, that all the years of abandonment were forgotten.
We were scarred, and I wasn't ready just yet to let go of that.
"I'm out to court today and didn't need to stop by the office first, wanted to eat a real breakfast," with a flourish of his hands, he pointed to the bacon and eggs on the plate he was eating from surrounded by files for his case. "There's some in the pan if you'd like."
With a flat tone, I replied, "I'm vegetarian but thanks."
He grimaced, as if he knew this little factoid that I knew for certain, he did not know. I became vegetarian my first year of high school, back when he ignored the crap out of us.
"I forgot, sorry."
Angelica rushed into the kitchen, smiled at me and then her eyes widened at the sight of the man at the island. "Dad!" She exclaimed. "Shouldn't you be at work?"
He shrugged. "There's some food in the pan if you want and you guys' coffee is on the counter behind Alice."
She beamed and grabbed a slice of bacon, popping it into her mouth.
The frown on my mouth deepened, but I supposed I had to at least try to understand. I think, no matter how old we got, Angelica always wanted a parent. She didn't want some half-assed attempt at parenting that I or our grandmother attempted. She wanted the real thing.
She wanted her dad.
So anytime our father got even close to resembling that, she fell for it.
I clapped my hands together. "Nice family gathering but Angelica and I need to get to school," I waved with a polite smile. "Bye Dad!"
He returned my awkward smile, which grew into a genuine one when Angelica threw her arms around him and speeded off without any words, more than likely embarrassed to have me see that.
I was embarrassed to see that.
Giving our father one last glance, I grabbed the coffee cups and followed her outside. I dangled the keys on my fingers, looking at her warily. "Please don't kill us."
True, I had made a promise to her about driving, but we had to be at school five minutes ago and I've never been in a car with Angelica driving and I felt as though I was going to crap my pants at any given moment.
Angelica beamed, snatching the keys from my finger and bounding into the driver's seat of my carâlet me rephrase, my baby.
I had that car ever since I got my license, it was an old Honda Accord with crank windows and manual locks and it cost me $1000. Well, technically it cost me $500 as my grandmother and I had split it for my 16th birthday.
Nevertheless, I treasured that fucking car because it took me a long time to earn the money to pay for it.
So my fear for Angelica driving it wasn't that unjustified...right?
Swallowing my irrational worries, I got into the passenger seat, not at all used to this side of my car. "I feel like I'm going to shit my pants," I muttered, forget about the apple I grabbed.
Angelica giggled beside me, turning over the engine and without a glance in the rearview mirror, shifted the gear into reverse and pulled out of our driveway much to my horror.
"Angelica! Check your freaking mirror!" I screamed, clutching onto the handle in the car for dear freaking life.
"Sorry!" She squealed, breaking harshly thrusting us backwards into our seats. She let go a breath and checking her mirrors even though it was pointless, shifted gears and slowly released the brakes to move forward.
I sighedâ I was absolutely missing that test.
â¦
A usual ten minute drive from our house to the school took us thirty minutes today, thanks to Angelica's nervous tendencies while driving.
She pulled into the surprisingly free space in the middle of Ryder and Eros' cars, where I typically parked on those rare instances when I drove Angelica and I to school. I cocked my head at their cars, wondering why they hadn't asked why I wasn't at school, like they did the last time I didn't come to school.
Surely Ryder forgot to do some homework and needed to copy off me.
"Good job Angelica," I sighed, handing her the coffee mug as she handed me the keys. "Do you want to drive home today?"
Angelica grinned. "Have I told you lately how much I love you?" She cooed, slamming the car door shut and slinging her bag over her shoulder, taking a long drink from her mug.
I rolled my eyes. "You owe me though. I missed my history test."
Angelica made a face at me. "Yeah yeah," she rolled her eyes. "I have Trig, I'll see you after school," and then crossed the parking lot and entered the campus cheerily.
Unlocking my phone, I groaned. Not only did I miss my test second period, but I was a little more than a little bit late to third period. Shoving my phone into my back pocket, I trudged into school keeping my head tipped down, avoiding I'm sure the judgmental faces of our security guards that watched me go to my third period class. Pausing in front of the classroom, I internally groaned and pulled the door open.
"You're late," Mr. Burns shook his head at me, a frown creasing his wrinkled skin, a white-board marker hanging from the ends of his long brown fingers as he turned to look at me.
Technically, I was 45 minutes late, with ten minutes to spare to make this fucking class. Honestly, I'm surprised he didn't kick me out, I certainly would've.
With a gesture of his head to my seat, I flitted to the middle of the classroom, eyebrows furrowing at the two empty seats that were around my own empty seatâ where were Ryder and Eros?
I know they wouldn't have ditched, not when promotion for Ryder's birthday party had to be doneâ it was in a week but Ryder was adamant on making sure everyone knew it was going down and fought for his love to get their invitation, because of course, Ryder's party was so exclusive you couldn't get in without a special invitation handed out to each invitee.
He had a ridiculous amount of disposable money at his fingertips, and an even bigger ego to please.
Sliding into my seat, I caught the eye of one of my former students: Harrison. I smiled politely, only to have his eyes quickly flit away from me, stifling a bit of laughter. I cocked my headâ what? Did I have something on my face? I quickly unlocked my phone and opened my camera app, pointing it on my face. There was nothing there, if anything, a piece of half-eaten apple on the corner of my mouth that I wiped quickly.
Dismissing those thoughts and avoiding the gaze of my teacher, I clicked on Find My Friends to see where my best friends wereâ both their cars were here, so where did they go? With a stern expression of concentration on my features that made it probably look like I was constipated, I pinched into the map, confused when I saw they were on campus, not together, but still, on campus, not in class.
I sent Ryder a quick text.
To: Ryder Thompson
Where are you? Thanks for abandoning me for my second favorite class of the day.
"Alice as much as I'd hate for you to stop texting, you literally came into my class forty minutes late, the least you could do is pay attention," Mr. James snapped at the front of the classroom.
I lifted my face to his, smiling sheepishly as I dropped my phone on the table and took my notebook out of my bag, ignoring the snickers of the immature students intended for me.
Grow the fuck upâ so I was caught texting, if that was really the worst thing I'd done at school I'd be quite pleased.
Dismissing these thoughts, I did my best to copy down notes from the lecture without getting too distracted that Ryder wasn't replying to me, he was always attached to his phone and never really took more than a minute to reply to me unless he was sleeping.
The bell rang four minutes later, and sighing, I slowly packed away my things, waiting for the class to completely disperse before I could go up to Mr. James and give him a proper apology.
It was the least I could do.
When the last student left, I finally stood and crossed the classroom to his desk, the words leaving my lips before he even realized I was there.
"Hey Mr. James! I just wanted to apologize for my tardiness and texting in your class again, it won't happen again."
Mr. James turned his attention to me. "I want to agree with you and say it won't happen again, but I know it probably will, and it will probably have to do with your two friends that also weren't here today."
"I don't know where they are," I quickly cut in, crossing my arms against my chest.
Mr. James' eyes widened in momentary shock. "Oh. Well if you see them, tell them to come visit me and get the homework assignment."
I nodded and gave him a small smile as I walked toward the door. "See you tomorrow then!"
He returned my smile and I shut the door, facing an empty hallway.
That's weird.
It was break and usually these fifteen minutes created chaos in the hallways, students feverishly copying homework or catching quick ten minute naps against the lockers. But it was rather deserted, just a few freshmen and me.
My phone began to buzz and seeing Ryder's face appear to me on the screen, I answered it hastily.
"You dick I can't believe you left me alone in Mr. James' class."
"Where are you?" His voice was strained and I became confused.
"In the hallway near the senior parking lotâ why?"
"I'm coming don't move," I heard the click of the phone and I knew he had hung up, but I was left incredibly confused.
What the fuck.
Ryder never ordered around me around, let alone call me for a mere thirty seconds.
It was this justification I took then to walk to our normal spot on campus in the quad: a small table where the three of us typically sat during the break, and I assumed that Luna and Claire would also be joining us, although begrudgingly.
I enjoyed Ryder, Eros, and I's trip so much so that I didn't want to come back to the reality that my closest friends were getting involved with girls, expanding our little group.
Squinting forward, a figure in the distance seemed to be running, and then quickly I realized, it was Ryder, running to me, screaming in fact, all the while flapping his hands as though there was an emergency occurring.
"What?" I called to him, stopping in my tracks.
He panted heavily as he came to stop in front of me, his breath reeked of coffee and milk and I wrinkled my nose at him.
"Want to ditch today?" He asked, swinging an arm around my shoulder and steered me in the opposite direction.
I stared back at him. "No?" I answered feebly. "I already missed first, second, and most of third, I'm in no place to also miss the other half of my day. Besides," I defended. "I'm really looking forward to going to Calc today."
"Well, I think it's a perfect day for iceâ"
Ryder was cut off by a senior I didn't know approaching us with a sinister grin, eyes glinting with malice. "Hey Alice. I can think of a lot of things that fall under whack shit that we can do together," he winked.
My head tilted in confusion. "I'm sorry?"
Ryder began tugging on my arm. "We really, really need to go now!"
I remained still as I scowled at the boy in front of me. "What are you talking about?"
His eyes widened ever so slightly, "That's really unfortunate if I'm the one telling you about this," he turned to Ryder. "Hey Thompson, how can you call yourself this girl's best friend when you didn't tell her that her thing is outâ what's it called again, uh, list thingy?"
The tug on my arm halted, as did the air entering my lungs and my eyes focusing on anything in front of me.
"What?"
The senior returned his attention to me and regarded me grimly. "You might want to go to the quad right now. Defend your honor against the wicked witch of the West."
My body was stuck to the floor, everything paused as I stared dumbstruck, at Ryder. This is why he wanted me to ditch? Because my most precious and private desires were floating around the schoolâhow?
I needed answers and despite Ryder's pleading eyes, I turned and sped toward the quad, to see whatever commotion what going on in these halls that made my list public knowledge.
The closer I got to the quad, the more and more people I saw, the more laughter was stifled at me, some with a piteous look on their faces as they watched me walk toward the quad, and then I saw it.
Or rather them.
Copies upon copies of my list were plastered on the walls, covering ASB posters, covering the murals of the school, stapled into trees, stuck on the floor, floating in the airâ my handwriting and the 13 numbers Ryder, Eros and I vowed to finish were here, for everyone to see and scrutinize.
How? Who out of my four friends would do me so dirty like this? For a moment, Eros' face flashed before my eyes, but I knew better. Despite our indifference, he would never, ever do something like this to me.
My gaze landed on two out of my four friends at our spotâ Luna and Claire, and Claire suddenly stood and rushed toward me, so quickly I failed to notice the bullhorn in her right hand.
As she stood in front of me with a sneer, she lifted it, smirking at me triumphantly.
"Ladies and gentlemen, now that the woman of honor is here, we can finally get started."
â¦