phantom
i will learn to live with his phantom grip on my wrist, i will learn not to mind that his hands are cold and sound like they've been playing the strings of my heart for years and yet never found any passion for it
he's a master class of his own while i still lie awake, trying to memorise his flaws and favourite song
he's leading his own orchestra while i still can't sleep because last december is still my worst nightmare, because june, july, september and october are tainted and heavy with his ignorance
i will learn to live with a tense heart