the aftermath of december
this baby of mine gets girls out of sticky situations with boys
he asks the girl in question whether she consented to whatever is happening rather than the boy, he does all the right things
but when i looked at him with anger in my eyes and pleaded with him to help me when there were strange arms around me
he didn't see it
he didn't see it in my eyes, he didn't see me
me, a girl he claims to have loved dearly
this baby of mine...
i have no more words for him
i pray they've all been felt
i pray i've felt all of his ten fingers and all of his six tongues
i pray i know all there is to know about him
all i am supposed to know about him
the worst part is that everything is still so raw, so sore
my heart bleeds honey-coloured things and he drinks them
i show him home and he doesn't like the taste of it
we lose at our favourite game and we leave so we can heal
we talk and it hurts because what used to be is still so real
we touch and it hurts because everything is so much more real than it used to be
4th chances and 8 benefits of the doubt
i always invite him back in when he knocks
but he still doesn't see what he does to me
what he lets others do to me