Silvia and I are lying on the beach after having a great time in the water. Julia is just grabbing her sunglasses from the car. I was so surprised that she came into the water, but I'm glad she did. Surely that is a sign that she really trusts me and feels comfortable here. I was shocked at all the scars on her back. I just hope Julia didn't notice that about me. "When are you going to tell Julia how you feel about her? ". I look at Silvia who gets me out of my thoughts. She looks at me seriously. "I'm not going to tell her that." Silvia shakes her head. "Why not? I've never seen you like this before". Out of the corner of my eye I see Julia walking towards us again. I lie on my back and get up a bit. I lean on my forearms so I can admire her a little better. Because she is now wearing a bikini, her tattoos are also clearly visible, which makes her even more attractive. I hear Silvia laughing softly. "This is what I mean, among other things," she says. "Sil, don't blame me. She's not just beautiful on the inside. See what's coming towards us." I really have never seen such a beautiful woman before. I can't take my eyes off Julia either. "Then why don't you tell her how you feel? ". I sigh. "I don't want to lose her. I am far too afraid to push her away if I say how I feel about her". Something flies to my head. I turn my head towards Silvia. "That is not happening. Trust me," she says seriously. "I don't know, Sil. Now stop it ". Silvia nods, because she knows I really don't want to talk about it now.
Julia sit down next to me and puts a bottle of sunscreen on my stomach. "Do something useful," she says with a laugh. "Kimberly, would you please put sunscreen on my back? Yes of course Julia, that's no problem at all," I say as I sit up. Julia immediately turns her back to me, but looks at me with a smile. "Hey you wanted me to come so bad. It's also your fault that I'm sitting here shirtless". She looks at me with a sweet smile. "Julia, I can advise you to lie down." Julia turns her head to Silvia. "Why? ". I give Silvia a warning look. She gives me a look back that tells me not to worry. "Madam has followed a massage course". Julia looks at me again. "Serious? ". I nod. "So if I were you I would lie down because she really has magical hands". I have to try really hard not to hurt Silvia now. "Okay, I can't refuse then." With that said, Julia lays down on her stomach. I take a quick look at Silvia and shake my head. She just looks at me with a teasing smile.
"I think I've had everything now," I say after a long time. Julia opens her eyes, which she had closed the whole time. "You forgot a spot there," she says with a smile on her face and points to her back. I hear Silvia laughing. "See now that I was right". I see Julia nod. "You can also just ask me if I want to continue. Or will you also become like Sil? Who can pretend all day if she has problems with her neck or back. But that only bothers her when I'm around". Julia laughs. "Sorry, I can't blame her. So would you please continue for a moment? ". I shake my head. "I thought we had a lazy weekend. Look at how hard I'm working". As I say it, I have my hands on Julia's back again. She almost immediately closes her eyes again and has a beautiful smile on her face.
I'm massaging Julia and in the meantime the three of us are talking about everything. Only Julia has been silent for five minutes now. I lay on my side next to her. "Are you still awake? " I ask softly. I see Julia nod. I run my finger gently over some of her scars. Julia is still lying with her eyes closed. "Do you want me to stop? "I ask as soon as I see Julia's tears. She shakes her head. I give her a kiss on the shoulder, which brings a small smile to her face. I see Silvia standing up. She gestures for me to go inside to prepare the food. I can tell from her face that she knows what's going on. I do appreciate that she leaves us alone for a while. "Who the hell did this to you? ". I don't know if it's wise to ask this, but I can't stop myself. It's almost inevitable that Julia must be able to hear from my voice how angry I am. She opens her eyes and looks at me. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," I say when it's quiet and we just stare at each other. She gives me a small smile and gets up to sit down. She pulls up her legs and puts her arms over her knees, resting her chin on them. She stares out over the water. I sit next to her in the same way, only I put my head on my arms so that I look at her. I'm not quite sure what to do. Julia didn't tell me to stop talking about it, but she didn't say anything else either. I decide to try again. If she doesn't say anything now, I'll stop. I don't think she'll want to talk about it then. "Was it Sem's father? ". It takes a moment, but then I see her nod. "Yeah, he too," she says very softly. "Who else? ". Julia closes her eyes. I can see she's thinking. "My foster father". I racing with anger when I hear that, but I don't want her to notice. I just don't know what to say right now. So I put an arm over her shoulders and pull her close to me.
"He started when I was about fourteen years old". Julia suddenly starts talking, after we've been sitting in silence for ten minutes. "It was pretty good there before that. I was immediately welcome there. They had two sons of their own who were a few years older than me, with whom I got on well. They really made me feel at home and treated me like their little sister. Everything changed when my foster father lost his job. He began to drink a lot of alcohol and all the money was spent on it. When the money ran out, I was blamed for it. All I was allowed to do was go to school and sit in my room. His sons were no longer allowed to speak to me. Once in a while he came to my room, just to let me feel what he thought of it. He then grabbed his belt and yeah you see the result ". Julia gets up and walks to the edge of the water. She stares over the water and grabs some stones and throws them into the water. I can see the anger in her. I'll let her do it for a while. I watch with tears in my eyes. I can see so much pain in her. I don't understand how someone can do that to someone else.
When I notice that the throwing is going with a little less force, I get up. I stand behind Julia and wrap my arms around her waist. "Are you alright? ". She nods when I ask, after we've stood in silence for fifteen minutes. "I'm sorry I went on like this". Now Julia shakes her head. "It is actually good. I want to tell you the rest too, because it's a relief. But I'm a little disappointed that it's coming out now," she says with a sigh. "Why? ". She breaks free from my arms. "You and Silvia had a fun weekend in mind. I'm already here to disturb it and then also make sure that the fun is hard to find". That's what she says as she walks away from me. "Julia please". I walk behind her and grab her hand. "How many times do I have to tell you that you are not disturbing us. I don't mind now that it might be a little less fun. I am glad that you trust me enough to tell your story". Julia pulls her hand away. "Silvia is coming. I think it's time to eat". With that said she walks away from me.
In that Julia walks past Silvia I see that she is saying something to her. Then Silvia walks over to me. "Julia goes to the toilet and then comes to the table." she says when she reaches me and immediately grabs me in a hug. Silvia knows I'm not much for hugs, but always knows exactly when I need one. "What is going on? ". She lets go of me and puts an arm over my shoulders. We slowly start to walk towards the sitting area. "Julia started to tell her story. She quit because she feels guilty for disturbing our fun weekend. I told her that she won't disturb us and that it's certainly not a problem that it's not so fun right now. You just saw her reaction to that yourself," I say with a sigh. "Give her time. It looks familiar to me". I look at Silvia questioningly. "The first time you talked about Vincent you did exactly the same. You kept looking for excuses not to show how much it hurt and how hard it was for you to talk about it. Julia is now doing that too". What Silvia says about me is indeed correct. Maybe that's what Julia is doing right now.
We eat in an awkward silence. I don't really know what to do either. Julia is sitting next to me and seems to be in her own world. Silvia is sitting across from me. I look at her for a moment. I give her a look that says help me what should I do. She nods her head at Julia. Whatever I'm looking at. I see tears streaming down Julia's cheeks. I slide my chair closer to her and put an arm around her. She almost immediately buried her head in the crook of my neck. I wrap my other arm around her and hold her tight. "Sorry," she says, sobbing. I look at Silvia and she immediately knows what I mean. "Julia, it's okay. Just throw it all out. We are here for you. That's what Kimberly and I have these weekends for. If you think we're having fun these weekends, you're wrong. Of course we make it as fun as possible, but the tears also flow freely. We always try to have a weekend like this at least once every three months. You can call it a therapy weekend. We laugh, cry, shout, throw things and regularly something is broken and that is all fine. We are there for each other and know that what happens here stays between us". Julia looks at Silvia. "Are you saying this now to make me feel less guilty? ". Silvia shakes her head. "I say it because it is true. I can already tell you that something is going to get break down or Kimberly has to be sensible and visit the gym on time". I nod affirmatively. Julia just sits down again. "There is definitely that opportunity. Then please don't be afraid of me. Just let me rant, and I'll be calm again in no time. And you should know that when I'm in this mood, I would never hurt you or Silvia. I know that Silvia has been afraid of that in the beginning, but the only thing I break is material and sometimes my hands". Julia nods. "Are you that aggressive? ". I am happy with the tone in her voice when she ask. There is no judgment or envy in it. "Julia, that's her way of dealing with the pain. Kimberly, like you, finds it difficult to talk. She only talks when we are together like this. The rest of the time she puts everything away. When she talks, all the sadness comes out. One reaches for the bottle or drugs and Kimberly does it this way. The best thing you can do then is leave her alone and let her rage". Silvia says it and I can tell from Julia that she gets it.
We have already finished our food and are still sitting outside at the table. Julia has been staring at me for a while. "What is? ". Julia looks at me a bit unsure when I ask her that. "Shall I tell the rest? Then we've had it". I hadn't seen it coming. I expected her not to want to talk about it anymore. "Only if you want it yourself". Julia nods. "Should I leave you two alone? ". Julia shakes her head at Silvia. "No you can stay ". Julia rests her head against my shoulder. I put my arm around her and she closes her eyes. It takes a moment before she starts talking. "I already told Kimberly that my foster father beat me with a belt from the age of fourteen". I take a look at Silvia. Her look says enough. She now knows why she can see in me that I'm racing with anger. "I was glad when I was eighteen that I could finally get out of there. I got into a relationship with Twan almost immediately. He's the only one, until today, I've shown my scars to and told how I got them. In the beginning he was really sweet and caring. With a year we got Sem. He never looked after him, but fortunately never touched him. Twan was offered a job in the Netherlands and of course I followed him here. Only as soon as we were in the Netherlands did he change. He must have thought she can't do anything here, because she doesn't know anything or anyone. He also didn't allow me to meet people. I had to sit at home all day. Only last year did he allow me to go to work. In the beginning I didn't even realize it. I was at home with Sem all day long. Until Sem got the age to go to school. If Twan found out that I had a chat with someone things went wrong. It with started hitting. Later he also used his belt, because I liked that so much, he said. I never dared to leave him. I really don't understand how I was so stupid to stay with him for so long. I was even engaged to him. One day I caught him in bed with another. Apparently he had been dating her for two years. That day he left. Luckily I never saw him again after that". When Julia is done with her story I hold her tightly. "Sorry, I don't know what to say," I whisper to her. I'd rather shout it out. How the hell could those assholes have done this to her. "You don't have to say anything. You're here, that's more than enough". Silvia is heading towards us. She puts an arm around both of us. "If you need me, I'm inside." She gives us both a kiss on the head and then walks away.
"Sorry, I just want to be alone for a while. Can I use your bathroom?" Julia asks after fifteen minutes. I let go of her and gently wipe away her tears. "Yes of course. Should I run a bath for you? ". She gives me a small smile. "That sounds very nice". I give her a kiss on her forehead. "Then I will arrange that for you. Just sit her. I'll come get you when I'm ready." With that said I walk inside.
Upstairs I turn on the tap of the bath. I'll make sure there's enough bathing foam and a nice relaxing scent. I put on some relaxing music in the background, light some candles and put a glass of wine on the edge of the bath. When the bath is full I go back downstairs. Julia is still outside. "Are you coming? ". She nods when I ask. I take her hand. I take her upstairs by my hand. "If you want to spend the night, this is your bedroom. Behind that door is the bathroom. If there's anything you want to use, feel free to do so, that's what it's for. If you're looking for me, I'll be in the next room, otherwise in the gym. You can find it if you go through the left door at the front door and then at the end of that corridor. If I'm not there, I'm probably in the living room. I'll leave you alone now," I say as soon as we're in the bedroom. I want to walk away, but Julia grabs my hand again. She pulls me towards her and gives me a hug. "Thanks for everything. I don't know what I owe all this to and I like to spend the night here," she whispers in my ear. I can hear how hard it is for her. "You do not have to thank me. This is the least I can do for you. You deserve so much more," I say as I let go of her. I see that Julia wants to say something. I put my index finger to her lips. "Julia, it's okay. Now take a nice relaxing bath. Take all the time you need. I'll see you later and if you want to go to bed right away, that's totally fine too. Then I will see you tomorrow ". After saying that I really leave her alone. I really need to go to the gym right now.