Cedric caught himself again drumming his fingers on his messenger bag, laying on the passenger seat of the car. More exactly he was drumming on the bulge in the front pocket, hiding a velvet box that, in turn, was hiding a ring made from tungsten, polished matt.
Maybe he was crazy, but he wished for nothing more than to call Ian his husband for all the world to know. He wanted to make sure that Ian would get everything in case something happened to him and he wanted the right to care for Ian, should something happen to his love.
They were in the middle of their good times and it was epic and more than Cedric had ever dared to dream of. The constant happiness didn't wake in him the wish to marry Ian but the intense longing to live these golden days with Ian to the fullest. It was his knowledge that there was always a chance for bad things to happen that made him feel desperate to join his life in all the ways with Ian's. He wanted to promise to be there in the bad times too, needed the security that no one could take him from Ian's side if Ian should ever lose his ability to express his wish for Cedric to be near.
One night he had woken up and had started to cry silently with the thought of being denied the right to hold Ian's hand to the very end.
Ian had woken up too and had started to make slow and intense love to him, knowing with one glance that he had been unable to say one word about what he had dreamed but needed the reassurance of Ian's love.
Edging him again and again, Ian had quieted the helpless sadness and all the doubts flooding his brain, had taken away the sudden loneliness Cedric had been drowning in. Ian had given him the chance to let go and make use of his trust in Ian, making him feel their togetherness in giving the control to Ian, depending on him.
Long after they had both lost sight of the line behind them, marking what they were normally capable to endure of passion and lust before giving in to the need to come, Ian's movements ceased completely and he stared down into Cedric's eyes. They were both drenched in sweat, Ian nearly incapable of supporting the weight he took propping himself on his arms, Cedric clinging to him so hard his trembling translated into Ian's body.
Through exhaustion and need they were incapable of keeping anything from each other and while Cedric had understood the immeassurable vastness of Ian's love, the love of his life had in one fluid motion pulled his hips back and fucked him with one last, savage thrust that finally made the tension built up in him explode in all directions through his body, making his hearing fail and taking all control over his body from him, throwing him into a malestrom of an orgasm he would have feared hadn't Ian's eyes been the center of it all.
The next day Cedric had researched how to get the correct ring size for someone and made an appointment with a jeweller to buy a ring.
Tungsten.
The hardest metal to be found on earth was what he decided on for his love. A broad band for the finger the ancient Greeks had believed were where the vein ended that came straight from the heart.
Inside the ring a gravur said from the flames now eternally burning.
Cedric had told Ian once that he felt like the Phoenix from the flames, reborn in ashes when Ian found him, showing him how bright life could burn. He had long forgotten by then.
Ian being Ian had grinned while hastily brushing away two tears, had kissed him silly and murmured "can I please make love to you?" in his ear.
Cedric smiled while parking the car on the curb.
"Is that you, honeybuns?" Ian trilled from somewhere in the house when he shut the front door behind him. Cedric smiled. There had never been another human being making him smile so much. Oddly enough his face had never shown any signs of muscle aches beside changing from weekly walks to running marathon when it came to smiling since meeting his boys.
"Yes, sweetcheeks, it's me."
Fuzzy started to bark and came skidding around the corner to the kitchen and, as always, the tail was wagging the dog.
"I missed you too," Cedric cooed while scratching the ears and fighting of sloppy kisses to his face, waiting for Ian to join in to help cuddle the dog before asking for his own round of affection. Ian's kisses to his face were always very welcome and even encouraged.
"There is a strict 'no peaking' policy for the living room," Ian told him after they were done celebrating Cedric's safe return from his demanding work at a desk with soft lips and little hums of content, Cedric unable to get enough of the feeling of Ian's scruff against his face.
So Cedric accepted the hands over his eyes while he was guided to their bedroom.
He showered quickly but thoroughly, taking care of everything that made anal sex so much more enjoyable. He had no idea if Ian had a plan for the evening sex wise. He himself hadn't, being way to nervous thinking beyond the point of presenting Ian with the possibility of forever. He knew there was little to no probability for Ian to say no, but he felt nervous nonetheless. Being worried was his nature. Maybe Ian wouldn't like the ring?
A chuckle escaped his throat when he re-entered the bedroom in only a towel.
Lounging back on his elbows on the bed in bright red boxer briefs covered in little black hearts that struggled a bit to contain Ian's obvious arousal, was his Valentine, a little flushed and beaming like a happy man.
"I love our new 'sex before eating' rule," Cedric murmured, getting on the mattress, picking up one of Ian's feet.
"Food makes me drowsy. And I don't want to fight my eyelids while being ravaged," Ian purred, while Cedric kissed his ankle and worked on creating a wet trail to his knee.
"You smell so good." Cedric took a moment to inhale near the thin skin on the inside of Ian's knee. "Coconut. And something else..."
When he looked up, Ian was grinning at him, bright red in the face. "I found a lotion that was called 'Valentin's delight'. I couldn't withstand it at the drugstore."
Cedric chuckled against Ian's inner thigh while the nuzzled his way north. "And you call me a dork."
"It had a good campaign. And design. And the name is catchy..."
Cedric pressed his forehead into the crease between hip and thigh and laughed.
"What?"
Cedric looked up at him.
"I love you."
"I love you too," Ian grumbled. "Put your glasses aside. It's only two weeks since the old once got between us and the sheets."
Cedric complied, reaching out to give them to Ian who could reach the bed stand better.
"And I love it that my big fireman doesn't mind smelling like something you normally eat for desert," Cedric smiled.
"Your fireman?" Ian said, his voice full of doubt, eyebrows high to pay him back for laughing at Ian.
With twinkling eyes, Cedric started to suck Ian's little head like it was his favorite lolypop, scratching his balls lightly with his nails.
"Ohmygod," Ian groaned. "So you fireman. All yours. I'm going to fight every fire for you, from forest fire to candle. Everything you want."
Snickering, Cedric let him fall from his mouth, taking him in hand to stroke him slowly. "Every fire?"
"If you stop talking and went back to business, you're going to see how good I am at extinguish things with my hose."
For a moment no one moved and it was so silent in the room, they where able to hear the clicking of Fuzzy's claws on the hardwood floor downstairs.
Then they resolved into laughter.
"Sometimes..." Cedric gasped, laying on his back, holding his belly. "Mate, I have no idea where you come up with phrases like that. They are so bad."
Ian was bright red again, but laughed too. "You keep my mind from functioning properly because you suck all that blood south. Stop complaining!"
"I love so much that you can make me laugh like that," Cedric sighed, crawling up the bed until they where able to kiss properly.
"Want to see something really funny?" Ian asked when they finally parted after some hot, languid kisses.
"Always."
Ian grabbed a postcard from the nightstand. On its front was an old lady that had obviously just been victim to a stumble.
Help, the card read, it seems I've fallen for you.
"That is just as bad as your lines," Ced sad fondly with a peck to Ian's cheek. "Where does it come from?"
"Marlene gave it to me around noon," Ian said with a chuckle. "She also forewarded me a photo her dad took for her mom."
The second Cedric got a glimps of the photo on Ian's phone, he dissolved into laughter again.
"Oh god, will you make such a picture for me when we are seventy and both bold with a belly?" Cedric wheezed, dashing away tears of mirth.
"You can bet your bald bear belly on that, love," Ian said.
They both turned their heads on the pillows and for a moment there was silence while they smiled and just looked at each other.
"Wait a moment," Cedric whispered, getting off the bed. This was the moment. He just new it.
He grabbed the little velvet box from his messenger bag.
Ian sat up with his back against the headboard and Cedric went kneeling beside him, their eyes on a level.
"I mean it," Cedric started, feeling his cheeks pink with nerves and butterflies. "Will you do silly things for me when we are both seventy? Would you like to take my promise to always be there for you, even if you can't make me laugh for some reason? I love you so much, Ian, and I can't see me going through thick and thin with someone else. I long to experience the world through your eyes and I love that you are always curious about how different the world looks to me. Would you marry me?"
The were tears on Ian's face, streaming down to touch the broadest and happiest grin Cedric had ever seen on him.
Taking Ced's face into both his hands, craddling it as if it was the most precious thing he had ever held, he gave Ced the sweetest kiss, lingering and innocent in the simple touch of lips.
After a moment of pressing there foreheads together, Ian leaned to the side to the bedside table, leaving Cedric on the precipice of joy and horror, longing for nothing more than an answer.
Then a little velvet box in Ian's hand popped open.
"You are more to me than all the gold in the world. With you, life is brighter than the brightest flame. I want there to be no doubt about the devotion I feel for you."
Ian's voice was thick with the tears he was still crying, the smile serene and not dimmed in the slightest.
"With you I can't be burned. With you I'm a phoenix."
Cedric felt as if the happiness radiating through his body had to show in sparkles all around him. His hands hurt from clinging to the little box in his hands and not yanking Ian against his chest. How could one man contain all these feelings he had around Ian?
"Yes, I definitely will marry you, Cedric Cunnings. The question is, will you marry me?" Ian went on with a sound at the end that could have been a laugh, a hick up or a sob. Cedric wasn't sure.
And then the boxes with the rings were abandoned on the bed and Cedric was searching blindly for some of Ian's skin to kiss and worship, saying yes, yes, yes again and again.
Seconds later, they both had a hand on the cocks that were sandwiched between their rocking hips, entwining fingers and making it snug for their cocks to rub against each other.
"I'm so gonna marry you," Ian moaned underneath Cedric while arching his back in pleasure, his eyes rolling back in his head.
"We are going to marry the hell out of each other," Cedric promised between clenched teeth, holding barely on to his orgasm while waiting desperately for Ian to get there.
"Marrying sounds so dirty when you say it like that," Ian gasped, burring his hand in Ced's hair. "When you say it like that, I don't know if one time will be enough."
"We can marry as often as you want," Cedric hissed. "As long as you are coming soon. Please Ian, I can't hold back any longer."
"You're so hot when you're desperate." Ian licked beneath his ear, thrusting his hips harder through their hands. For a moment he was unable to speak, his lungs seizing up, his muscles locking up against the orgasm running into him like a freight train.
Ian gave a pressed sounding wordless noise and Cedric knew exactly he could let go and would be with Ian the moment he came.
Sticky heat erupted between both of them, their bodies trembling under the onslaught of pleasure.
With the last of the aftershocks, they entwined their bodies, ending up on their sides, not caring for the mess between them.
"Would you like that ring now?" Cedric asked with a laugh in his voice, patting around blindly with one hand.
"Yes, please!" Ian kissed him lazily on the cheek. "I need another moment before I can search for yours. My bones haven't have solidified quite yet." He chuckled.
Cedric found both the boxes on his quest for the ring and so they slid the bands of metal on their love's finger with quiet smiles on their faces.
"I feel like I should either get rid of my boxers of pull them up. It's not really a twist you want to share about the proposal. Accepting with your boxers around your ankles."
"They are around your thighs, so don't worry," Cedric grinned, kissing Ian and starring at their fingers with the rings again. "I've got you a necklace too, because you won't be able to wear the ring during work otherwise," he said, now pressing a kiss to the knuckle right above where his ring was now gleaming on Ian's finger.
"And there's just another reason to add to the list of 'why I love that man so much'", Ian sighed.
After a short silence in which Ian made no attempt to right his underwear, he said, "Shall I show you or tell you what's waiting in the living room for you?"
"Tell me," Cedric decided. He didn't feel like moving away from this moment right now.
"Well, there was that one chest of drawers in your aunt's house that the restorer we talked to in Manchester said could be saved?"
Cedric's eyes went round. His aunt's most beloved piece of furniture she had brought to England after an extended stay in Denmark. Her most priced possession. Tears shot to Cedric's eyes.
"It's restored. And it's here."
Cedric was eternally grateful Ian was more build then he was, so there was no chance he would crush the man, however hard the embraced him.
For a while words failed him.
But this was most definitely another reason on his list of reasons, why he was so damn much in love with that firefighter.