Ben returns with the pizza and sets it on the coffee table. He looks at me thoughtfully then goes to the kitchen, coming back with another Gatorade.
I stare at him for a moment, opening my mouth to protest. He cuts me off. "You're drinking it. No excuses." He crosses his arms defiantly, staring me down. I scrunch my eyebrows together grumpily. He flips on the TV and frowns at me. "I should have you lying down again."
I simply sigh. He sits on the couch next to me and hands me my pizza. "Here, eat first." I take the plate and start slowly eating. I freeze when his hand appears on my forehead. I turn my head to see him frowning again. "You might have a fever," he tells me.
I stare at him for a moment. "Fine, fine. I'll leave you alone. Finish eating." he says, waving his hand at me. I proceed to finish a slice of pizza, setting my plate on the table. He looks at me again. I can't tell what he's thinking.
Suddenly he sets his plate on the table and disappears down the hall. He returns with a thermometer and a tablet. I'm too tired to ask questions.
He plops onto the couch and adjusts me so my head is sitting on his lap. "I'll take your temperature in a little bit, but you just ate so we might have to wait," he tells me. He starts tapping away on the tablet, and I close my eyes to take a nap, overcome with exhaustion. I drift off to the noise of his typing.
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When I wake again, the room is dark. A dim lamp sits lit on the side table next to Ben, but it doesn't provide much light.
Ben has fallen asleep, and his tablet is about to slide off the armrest of the couch. I slowly get up, careful not to wake him. I move his tablet and head down the hall to find the bathroom.
After relieving myself, I look at myself in the mirror. My face seems so much paler than usual, my blue eyes duller. My blonde hair is a mess, and I look like I've been living in a cave for a week. What did I do to myself? I dry my hands off and open the door, starting to walk back down the hall to the living room.
Without warning, my head is suddenly hit with a lightning storm of pain. I drop onto the floor with a loud thud, unable to stay standing. I'm frozen again, my hands stuck to my head, trying to stop it. My vision fades in and out.
I struggle to keep conscious. Strong hands appear on my back and legs, and suddenly I'm lifted into the air. I catch a glimpse of Ben's face looking down at me. His image is wrinkled with concern. From what I can tell, we're back on the couch.
Ben is rubbing circles on my back again, but I can't get any words out to thank him. My brain is focused only on the white-hot pain that sears me. A whimper escapes me that I didn't even know I was holding in. I can't breathe. The air is too thin.
Tears start to stream down my face as my fists clench. I'm fighting unconsciousness with every breath I take. Ben's voice fades in and out. "Jay it's okay. I've got you. Keep breathing. Let's try some deep breaths alright?" His voice comforts me and distracts me from the pain. I focus on it, trying to block out everything else.
My breaths are still shaky, but I'm starting to calm down. The pain is slowly fading, and I unclench my fists. Ben's hand brushes some hair off my sticky forehead. "Keep breathing. Deep breaths." He repeats. I listen to his voice and gradually start to relax. "Jay I'm going to take your temperature okay? Give me two blinks in a row if that's alright." I blink at him twice. I'm glad he understands that it's all the effort I can muster right now.
He puts the thermometer in my mouth for a moment, then reads it, grimacing. "You have a fever," he tells me. I sigh, trying to wipe the tears from my cheeks with my shaking hands. "I've got it," he says softly, brushing them away.
"I was planning on taking you home tonight, but I think at this point it might be better for you to stay here. Do you want to text someone and tell them?" I nod my head slightly. He shifts me so I'm leaning against his shoulder, and his arm is around me.
I open my phone and pull up a chat with my sister. I pause. What am I supposed to say? Your idiot brother fainted about 4 times today, and now he's staying overnight at a cute boy's house? Instead, I type: "Staying overnight, tell mom and dad?" I close my phone and sigh. I feel like absolute crap.
Ben rests his chin on my head. "The couch isn't very comfortable. You can take my bed," he says. "Then where will you sleep?" I question. "The couch." "Then you're not comfortable either." He hums at me. "What do you suggest then?" he says.
I stop. I hadn't really thought further than that. I just didn't want him to be uncomfortable. "Very well. Neither of us will sleep on the couch. I'll go get my bed ready. It's big enough for two." He stands up and walks down the hallway, calling over his shoulder. "Don't even think about getting up right now." I open my mouth, then close it. I guess we're sharing a bed. Not that I'm complaining anyway.
My eyes start to droop as I wait for him to come back. I'm just about to drift off when he walks back into the room. "Jay?" He says. I grunt at him. "Come on, wake up for a little bit. If you sleep there you'll have all kinds of cramps in the morning," he warns. He pulls me into a sitting up position and gets me to stand up.
I inhale sharply when my head pangs with a quick sharp pain. Ben watches me with concern in his eyes. "You alright?" I nod.
He puts my arm around his shoulders, keeping an eye on me as he helps me down the hall. I sit on his bed as he digs in a drawer. His room is messy, with papers, books, and clothes piled everywhere. "I have some clothes you can borrow to sleep in," he says, pawing through garments.
His brown hair is messy now, sticking up in places. His shoulders are built strongly, and his back seems to curve just right. He turns around, throwing some clothes at me.
"Here. I hope those fit." I stand up, about to walk down the hall to the bathroom to change. "Just change in here. I have to go grab a few things anyway." He disappears down the hall, and I slide into his sweatpants and a cozy t-shirt. I sit on the bed, waiting for him to come back. When he returns, he's carrying Gatorades and his tablet.
He throws a few notebooks and pencils onto the bed and sits next to me. "I'm just going to finish up a few things. Is it okay if I keep a lamp on?" I nod at him sleepily, lying down. "Crap," he says, wandering back down the hall. "Had to take my contacts out," he says when he returns.
He stops, looking at me. "Actually I really didn't think that through," he says, running a hand down his face and sighing. "Can you help me find my glasses?" I roll out of bed and move over to the crowded desk. I comb through stacks of papers and sticky notes, but his glasses aren't there. After digging through the clothes on the dresser, I look on the bedside table.
After lifting some papers, I finally find them and hand them to him. "Thank you," he says, "I'm blind without these." He slides them onto his face. He's even cuter now, if possible. He slides into the bed next to me and starts scribbling away in a notebook. His face becomes a mask of concentration, and I doze off slowly after watching him work for a bit.
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I'm running again. My legs are pumping and the breeze is blowing on my face. The sun shines softly on everything around me. I reach a corner, turn my head, and see him. As he recognizes me, his whole face lights up with a smile, and his green eyes sparkle at me.
He reaches his arms out to hug me and suddenly the ground disappears from beneath me. I'm surrounded by darkness, and the only light source is a small circle above me. There's not a single soul in the hole with me and not a single solution to get out. A noise resounds through the darkness. A whisper.
"Are you gay?" it says. Ben's face appears as a hologram in the darkness but disappears again. I turn my head, the sound seeming to move. Now it's a hologram of my parents. "Are you gay?" they repeat, but it's voiced as if it's a threat.
The darkness suddenly captures everything and there is only pure silence. A strike of lightning suddenly hits off to my left, and I'm frozen in inexplicable pain. My eyes shoot open and I'm back in Ben's room again, but the pain doesn't leave.
His bedside light is still on and he's working away, but he looks exhausted. He sighs and puts his pen down, head in his hands. I desperately try to get his attention but I'm overcome with agony and can't move.
My breaths are slowly starting to become more frantic. Ben turns his head and his eyes widen. "Jay?" he says. All I can do is cry. The tears leak down my face in small rivers.
Ben scoots close to me and puts his hand on my arm. He traces small patterns up and down my arm, talking in a soothing voice. "Hey, I'm here. It's going to be okay." He pulls my head into his lap like before and starts playing with my hair.
"Keep breathing and take some deep breaths. You've got this. I'm here for you." My breaths are shaky, and the pain isn't going away. The tears still run at full force down my face. I clench and unclench my fists, trying to find a way to shake away the pain.
Ben watches me with cautious eyes. "Jay can you tell me what's wrong?" he asks soothingly. He's wiping tears off my face, but they just resurface. "Pain." I gasp out, momentarily unclenching my teeth.
His face seems to switch to high alert. He bites his lip, trying to decide what to do. "I have painkillers and ice packs, but they're in the kitchen. Is it okay if I go get them?" I clench my fists again.
Sweat is starting to drip down my face and mix with my tears. I don't have enough energy to say anything. "Hey, it's alright. How about blink twice in a row if it's okay? I promise I will be right back." I blink twice and try to take deep breaths.
"I will be right back, okay? Hang in there." He runs down the hall and I'm left crying on his bed. My head is screaming at me and I'm trying not to make any noise but my breathing has become desperate gasps. My vision is beginning to blur and the room starts to swim. I cry out as another wave of pain hits me.
Ben comes skidding back into the room and immediately sits right next to me. "Jay, hey, it's okay." Ben rubs my back gently while he talks to me soothingly, trying to help me relax.
He pulls out a Gatorade, some painkillers, and an ice pack. "Take these," he says, handing me the meds and Gatorade while he puts the ice pack on the back of my neck. My hands are shaky and I nearly drop everything.
"Let me help," he says softly. I put the pills in my mouth and he helps me drink, then lies me down. He picks up his stacks of books and throws them on the desk before climbing back into the bed.
He pulls the covers over us and flips me over so he can rub circles on my back, then flips off the lamp. His other hand rests on my shoulder. My head is still killing me, but I'm no longer freaking out as much.
"The meds should help with the pain; they might make you a bit sleepy too okay?" My answer comes out in a pained whisper. "Okay." "Jay, since you've got nothing going on now do you want to come over more this week?"
I squeeze the hand that rests on my shoulder, hoping he gets that I'm trying to agree. He winds his fingers through mine and keeps holding my hand. I'm still breathing heavily.
Another wave of pain shoots through my head suddenly, and I cry out. I feel so weak and helpless. I realize that I've gripped his hand tighter, but he doesn't seem to mind. Slowly the world around me fades away and I let myself succumb to a night of restless sleep.