Chapter 40: Chapter 39. I Love You, Mom. I Won’t Leave.

His question caught me off guard, and my eyes widened in surprise. My mind was suddenly a whirlwind of thoughts. Am I ready for this? After everything with James, should I even think about love again?

And what about Logan? What if he finds out? What if he goes after Blake? I couldn’t bear the guilt if anything happened to him.

“I-I mean, you don’t have to say yes,” Blake stammered.

“I just thought, maybe, you’d consider it. It’s just…” He trailed off, and I couldn’t help but grin, trying to hold back a laugh as he stumbled over his words.

“I really like you, Claire. And, I know Logan is still out there, and so is James, and Poisonous Silver, and shit,” he said, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry. You’re dealing with a lot right now and I understand if—”

I cut him off, leaning in to kiss him. It was a hot, passionate, searing kiss. Our lips moved together perfectly. His were warm and inviting. His kisses were addictive, and I had missed his lips.

When I pulled back, I couldn’t help but laugh at his shocked expression. I leaned in close to him, my lips brushing against his ear. “I like you too, Blake,” I whispered, feeling my cheeks start to heat up.

Blake’s eyes lit up with excitement as he leaned in to kiss me again. His arms instantly wrapped around me, pulling me close. I smiled against his lips, loving his sudden eagerness.

Soon, I found myself in his arms, lying on top of him. My mind was a whirlwind of thoughts.

My head rested on his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, as we both sat in silence.

I couldn’t believe all of this had happened on Valentine’s Day. The fights, the movie, the dinner, the picnic. It was all so romantic. James had been romantic with me, but he was never this affectionate.

He had been the boyfriend every girl dreamed of—handsome, strong, sweet, and a little dominant. I loved James. I knew I loved him, but not anymore.

He lost everything from me the day he left. The day he betrayed me.

Suddenly, it hit me. He never loved me. James never truly loved me.

If he had, he wouldn’t have left, he wouldn’t have chosen a gang over me, he wouldn’t have cheated on me.

Suddenly, I thought of my dad, and I sighed sadly. He’s gone. He’s with another woman now. He’s going to have another child without his real wife and daughter.

He’s really gone, he really left. Tears welled up in my eyes and I fought back a sob. My throat tightened and burned as I tried to hold back my tears.

Then, I felt Blake gently rubbing circles over my wrist, pressing softly against my scars, and I shivered at the soothing sensation.

“What are you thinking about?” Blake asked, his voice soft and gentle, breaking through my thoughts.

I couldn’t hold back any longer. My sobs echoed through the small clearing in the woods as I buried my face in his chest.

It seemed like Blake was always there when I cried, but he never judged me for it, and I was grateful for that.

Blake’s arms tightened around me, his hands rubbing soothingly on my back as he whispered comforting words in my ear. “Shh,” he soothed.

“Everything’s going to be alright. I’m here for you now. I’m not leaving anytime soon. Remember, I promised,” Blake whispered in my ear, my tears soaking his shirt as I sniffled.

I nodded against his chest, looking up to meet his concerned grey eyes.

“Right,” I said, taking a deep breath to steady myself. “You’re right. You promised. I remember.” My voice was hoarse as I spoke, and I swallowed hard, closing my eyes tightly to stop the tears.

I felt Blake’s fingers gently wipe away the tears on my cheeks and lean down to press a soft kiss on my tear-stained cheeks.

“I’ll always be there for you. Forever and always. I promise you.”

His voice was so sincere, so full of truth, that it made me bite my lip to hold back tears of joy. He won’t leave me. He promised! I’ll never be alone!

After a few more moments of crying, I pulled back and wiped my tears, taking a deep breath. When I turned to face Blake, a small smile spread across my lips at his concerned eyes and pouting lips.

“Are you alright, Claire?” he finally asked.

I closed my eyes and leaned into him, deciding it was time to let someone in on my problems and my parents' impending divorce.

“My dad’s gone,” I began, my head resting on Blake’s chest.

For some reason, I smiled, comforted by the sound of his steady heartbeat and gentle breathing. It was reassuring, knowing he was alive and well, not bloody and on the brink of death.

“A couple weeks ago, I came home to hear my parents arguing, louder than usual,” I said, laughing bitterly.

“My dad never loved me. I mean, I don’t think dads call their daughters a brat and attention-seeker on a regular basis, anyway.”

I paused, noticing Blake’s breath getting heavier with rage and his fist clenching in anger. I gently cupped my hands around his fist and squeezed reassuringly.

His fist slowly unclenched and his breathing evened out, signaling that he was calming down.

Feeling that he was calmer, I continued. “I had had enough then. I lost my temper and told them we were going to talk this out, right then and there.

“My dad had his suitcase packed and my mom was crying, trying to stop him from leaving. You see, my parents haven’t been getting along for years. I never knew why, until that day.”

I paused again, taking a deep breath.

“My mom told me that, years ago, when my dad’s mother passed, he turned to drinking to cope. My mom let him drink and go out to bars. She trusted that my dad wouldn’t do anything stupid.

“But, one night, when I was asleep in my room, my dad came home with another woman. My mom kicked her out and told my dad he was sleeping on the couch,” I said, taking another deep breath to steady myself.

“My parents haven’t been the same since. They’ve never really cared about me and completely forgot I was their daughter. The few days I was gone, they thought I had run away or was kidnapped.

“That was the day they finally remembered me. The day they realized they still had a daughter.

“My mom started being kinder to me, and my dad was okay. He’d thank me, give me a kiss on the forehead. I thought things were finally looking up.” I smile, but it’s a bitter one.

“I didn’t realize it was all a setup. Turns out, my dad got a girl pregnant. He was leaving us for her. He said he thought it was the right thing to do.

“To me, it’s him trying to be a part of his other child’s life, because he knows he messed up with me,” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm, my eyes closing for a brief moment.

“I told him to get out, after that. When he left, my mom was angry at me for being so harsh to him.” My eyes narrow at the memory of the disappointment in her gaze, all aimed at me.

“That’s why I left. That’s why I disappeared for about a week, that’s why I was drinking. I just wanted some relief. I wanted to numb the pain, the betrayal, the heartbreak, but it only got worse.”

My voice cracks as it rises in pitch. I’m not going to cry, not again. I’ve shed too many tears already—on life, on my dad, on James, on everyone. Now, I refuse to let them see me cry anymore. Not the people who hurt me.

“I haven’t spoken to my mother since. That’s why I’ve been staying at Nancy’s. She doesn’t even know about my parents.

“So, you should feel special: you’re the first one I’ve told.” I grin, turning to look back at Blake. He smiles at me, then leans down to give me a quick kiss.

“You’re so strong, you know that? You’ve been through hell and back, yet you still stand tall and strong. You don’t let anyone get to you. You’re the best fighter I know.

“Just remember, you’re not alone. I’m always here. So are Nancy and Molly. Plus, you might meet some new friends along the way.

“There are plenty of people who would want to be your friend. I think Nick wants to be your friend, he just hasn’t gotten to know you yet. You’re always pushing people away,” Blake tells me.

I shake my head. “If they wanted to be my friend, they’d keep trying, like you do, instead of giving up on me like everyone else.” I sigh.

Blake just chuckles. “Nah, I think they’re just scared of what Ashley will do to them. Maybe I can ask Nick to hang out with us sometime,” Blake suggests.

I immediately shake my head. “No. Nick can’t keep a secret, and if he finds out I’m White Wolf, everyone will know.

“Hell, Ashley knew! How? I have no idea. But I’m pretty sure it won’t be long before everyone knows. She’ll use it as blackmail, I just know it.” I tell him quickly.

Blake just laughs. “Nick wouldn’t spill a secret that big. Especially if it involves me.” He wraps his arms tighter around me.

I look up at him, confused. “How does me being White Wolf involve you?” I ask him.

He grins. “Because, you’re my girlfriend now. That means you’re a part of my life, just like I’m a part of yours. Anything that concerns you, concerns me.” My eyebrows rise in surprise.

“You sound a bit possessive there, Blake.” I tease, nudging his side lightly with my elbow.

His arms tighten, and he buries his nose in my neck. “I am your boyfriend now. I think I have the right to be possessive and protective over my girlfriend.”

He emphasizes the word ‘my’ as he kisses the crook of my neck.

I jump, letting out a surprised laugh. “S-stop. That tickles.” I laugh, biting my lip.

I can feel Blake’s grin against my skin. “Then I’m doing something right.” He says before he starts to kiss my neck again.

A shuddering breath escapes my lips, and I tilt my head to the side, giving him more access. After a few minutes of kissing, licking, and biting, he finally pulls back, grinning at his handiwork.

“There, now everyone will know you’re taken.” He nods, leaning down to kiss me. I laugh, pulling away.

“Did you really leave a hickey?” I ask in shock as I touch the love bite he left. I gasp as I feel the bite marks on my neck. I shoot him a playful glare.

Blake just grins. “I sure did. Got to mark what’s mine, right?” He chuckles when I hit his chest lightly.

“Yeah, keep laughing. Won’t be long before I kick your ass again.” I mumble under my breath.

After a few more moments of silence, I start to yawn.

“I guess we should head out. It’s a little past two in the morning.” Blake tells me, sitting up. I just nod, still sleepy, and lay my head on his chest.

He chuckles, but gets up, carrying me in his arms. I feel his lips press against my forehead, before I finally surrender to the world of dreams.

***

I wake up to the smell of food. My eyes flutter open, and I yawn again, turning over. But then, I realize, I’m not in Nancy’s bed. Instead, I’m in a neat room with sports posters on the wall.

There’s a flat screen TV on a coffee table a few feet from the bed I’m on and a dresser next to it.

As my eyes scan the room, I see a nightstand with a backpack and papers on it, a closet door with a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on it, and a game console with two controllers on top of it.

My eyebrows furrow in confusion. Where am I? I wonder, just as the door creaks open.

My eyes dart to the door, and a sigh of relief escapes my lips at the sight of Blake. He grins at me.

“Good, you’re awake. Come on. Get up. Breakfast is ready,” he says, pausing before he shuts the door.

“Oh, and your hair looks cute all tangled up in the morning.” He smirks, before closing the door behind him.

I can feel my cheeks warming as I throw off the covers. I’m still in the same clothes from last night, minus my shoes, which are off to the side.

I check my phone and see it’s 9:42 a.m. After a big yawn, I finally leave the comfort of his bed and head towards a door next to the closet. I can’t help but smile as I open it to reveal a bathroom.

After a quick brush through my hair, I head downstairs, the smell of eggs, pancakes, and bacon filling my nostrils.

“Smells good,” I say, stepping into the kitchen. I freeze when I see Daniel, Sara, and Anya sitting at the table, with Blake busy plating up breakfast.

My cheeks flush again and I bite my lip, embarrassed. If I’d known they’d be here, I would’ve made a swift exit before they saw me.

Sara is the first to react, letting out a delighted squeal. “Claire, darling. You’re back.” She jumps up from the table and rushes over to hug me. I giggle, wrapping my arms around her slim waist as she envelops me in a warm embrace.

“Hey. If I’d known you guys were here, I would’ve made myself look a little more presentable,” I admit.

She just waves it off with a smile. “It’s quite alright, Honey.

“I’m just happy you’re back. I was worried you might not come back after you left without having dinner on Christmas. I was really disappointed,” she chides, narrowing her eyes and placing her hands on her hips.

Before I can apologize, Blake jumps in. “Oh, settle down, Ma. I told you her family was in town and she didn’t know until the last minute,” he defends me, winking in my direction.

I chuckle. “Yes, I am very sorry, Sara. I would’ve loved to stay for dinner, if my family hadn’t come to town,” I assure her, being honest.

If James hadn’t messaged me at that moment, I definitely would’ve stayed for dinner.

She sighs. “Alright. But you’re staying for breakfast. No excuses,” she declares, linking her arm with mine and leading me to the table.

I laugh. “Don’t worry. I’m free for breakfast, Sara.”

I inhale the delicious aroma of the food as Blake places a plate in front of me. It’s piled high with pancakes drizzled in syrup and dusted with powdered sugar, buttered toast, scrambled eggs, and three pieces of bacon. I look up at Blake with a teasing glint in my eye.

“What are you trying to say?” I ask him playfully.

He shrugs, grinning back at me. “Nothing. Just that you have a big appetite,” he chuckles.

I scoff. “Have you seen what you eat at McDonald’s?” I ask him, grinning as I remember his order of two Big Macs, a large fry, a large Root Beer, and an apple cinnamon pie.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” he asks, pretending to be hurt.

I shrug, taking a bite of the pancakes. “Nothing. Just that you have a big appetite.” I grin at him, raising my eyebrows in a sassy way.

Suddenly, I hear chuckles from beside me, and I glance around. Sara, Daniel, and Anya are all laughing at me and Blake’s playful banter.

“Blake hasn’t smiled like that in so long. It’s so refreshing to hear his laugh, again.” Sara smiles at her son. I look up and see Blake staring at his mom with a lopsided grin on his face.

“I know,” He replies. “I guess now, I have a reason to do so.” His eyes meet mine, and I find myself smiling the more I look into his captivating stormy grey eyes.

A giggle snaps me out of my trance, and I turn to see Anya giggling at the two of us. “They look like they’re in love, Mamma.” Anya giggles, referring to Blake and me.

I blush and look down, feeling Blake’s eyes on me the whole time.

***

It’s a little past noon when I finally leave the house, and I decide it’s time to go home.

As I walk up the steps, I hesitate when I reach the doorknob. The lights are still off, and it’s eerily quiet. Taking a deep breath, I finally open the door.

The stench of alcohol and smoke hits me, and I scrunch up my face in disgust at the familiar smell. I can hear quiet sobs coming from upstairs. Panic sets in and I find myself running up the steps two at a time.

I burst through my parents' door and freeze when I see my mom. She’s sitting on her bed, a beer in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and tears streaming down her face.

Her lifeless eyes look up at me, and she takes another swig of her beer.

“Mum…” I start, looking at her in disbelief as she takes another drag of her cigarette.

“What is it, Sweetie? Come to tell me you’re leaving, too? Just like your father?” she spits out, sniffling as she takes another gulp of beer.

I move closer to her, noticing the bags under her eyes, her red, stuffy nose, and puffy pink cheeks. Her eyes are guarded, but I can see the pain and heartbreak she’s trying to hide.

“Mom, I came back because we need to talk,” I tell her.

But she just shakes her head, staring blankly at the beer bottle.

“It’s alright, Claire. I know I haven’t been the best mom, or wife, or person right now. I know I’m making bad choices, but I can’t seem to care now. I have no one.” She turns to me, more tears streaming down her face.

I bite my lip, shaking my head. “No, Mom,” I take a few steps closer.

“You’re not alone. You have me, I promise. I was just hurt. Hurt that you would let dad stay, hurt that you would keep that from me, hurt that you both neglected me for years, hurt for everything,” I tell her, sitting down on the bed next to her.

She nods, sipping the beer now. “I know. And I’m sorry, sweetie. You can leave if you want. I don’t think I have the energy to do anything now.

“I quit my job when you left and spent the rest of my money on beer and cigarettes. I can’t support you anymore, Claire. I just can’t do it.” She cries, closing her eyes as she sets down the beer.

I quickly put the bottle down and snatch the cigarette from her fingers, tossing it onto the ground. My mom’s sobs grow louder and I pull her into a tight hug.

“Shh,” I whisper, trying to calm her. “I’m not going anywhere. We can handle this, Mom. I’ll be right here with you. I promise, we’ll get through this together. I won’t abandon you. We’ll find a way to cope without Dad,” I murmur into her ear.

She just weeps into my shoulder while I gently sway her back and forth, trying to soothe her.

It’s a strange twist of roles, isn’t it? The mother is supposed to be the one comforting the daughter, but here I am, the daughter, comforting the mother. “I love you, Mom. I’m not going anywhere.”