Chapter 26: Chapter 25. Guess I Never Really Knew James as Well as I Thought

CLAIRE

The gym had a spooky feel at night. Even though I’m usually brave, the gym at night always made me a little nervous. It wasn’t the darkness that scared me, but the idea of being watched, or worse, attacked in a gym. I’d seen it happen too many times on TV.

“Wow. You’re actually on time. One of the many things that never changed about you: Always very punctual.” James’s voice echoed from one of the training rooms.

I let out a deep sigh, turned, and walked into the room, shutting the door behind me. The lights were on, illuminating James.

He was dressed in black leather shoes, low-slung blue jeans, and a black leather jacket. A cruel, sadistic smile was etched on his lips.

His hair was pushed to the side, as always, and his hands were in his pockets. The dark brown eyes I once thought were filled with love were now just blank and filled with pure cruelty.

“Why?” was all I could manage to say. I was so confused. I didn’t know what had happened.

I didn’t know where James had gone, or why he had come back. All the things I thought I knew about him, I was now questioning if I ever really knew him at all.

“Why what?” He asked, his voice dripping with false innocence. He was mocking me!

I felt my nostrils flare at him. I stalked up to him and pushed him hard.

“Why’d you leave? Did you ever love me? Were you set up? Did you hate me?

“Did I do something? Where were you for the last two years? Why’d you turn me into the Deadly Snakes? What did I do?” I fired question after question at him.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I struggled to control my rapid breathing. My heart was pounding and my eyes turned red from fury at this man in front of me. This lying, cheating scum!

James only pushed me back into the wall. My head hit the wood and jerked back. It didn’t hurt too much, but I knew it would leave a bruise.

“I’m going to be perfectly honest with you, Claire. I did love you. Did. Past tense. Meaning, I’m not in love with you anymore. I left because…” he sighed deeply.

“Why? Why’d you leave me?” I asked, my voice raspy from the tears that threatened to spill. My throat tightened up, burning as I looked at James through a blurry haze.

“I left because Logan had given me a spot in his gang. You know how I always wanted to be in the Deadly Snakes. You know how obsessed I was with gangs and knives and guns.

“And then I met Logan. He told me I could have a spot in his gang, as long as I let you go, because he couldn’t risk it. It hurt to leave you, Claire. It truly did.

“I felt that the only way to just end it quickly was to use your arch enemy: Ashley.” He paused. By now, the tears spilled over as I felt my heart start to shatter all over again.

Not from betrayal, or heartache, or loss. But from disappointment. Pure and utter disappointment.

“You used Ashley to break me?” I questioned, my voice cracking.

He nodded, not looking the slightest bit ashamed.

“She knew everything about you, more than me, that’s for sure. She knew everything that would break you, make you smile, and even laugh.

“She told me her plan, I agreed, and it went successfully. At first, I felt disgusted. I felt ashamed, and I felt so, so terrible.

“I loved you. You were my world, Claire. But I had to choose. Either Deadly Snakes or the one I loved, and I—” I cut him off, sharply.

“Chose to be a killer, rather than be with the one you love,” I whispered, my voice breaking.

His eyes snapped to mine at my broken, cracked voice. I wasn’t fighting it anymore. I wasn’t going to fight back the tears or stifle my choked sobs.

James didn’t love me, but it still broke me again to know why he did it.

“I’m not a killer,” he defended.

I sniffled and shook my head. “You’re a cold-blooded killer! You deal with drugs, you sell guns, you kill for your own pleasure. Look at me and tell me that’s not a killer!” I yelled, wiping my nose.

It only seemed to anger him more. “I am not a killer. Logan has taught me how to live with it. We’re not killing for our pleasure, we’re killing for justice—”

“What justice!? There is no excuse in the world for killing someone, at all!” I screamed at him.

James stalked up to me. “You really are stupid, aren’t you? We kill for things we need—”

“You mean want?! You want those drugs! You want that money, you want those murdered!” I screamed. It was all beginning to be too much to handle. Had I known it would end up like this, I would’ve screwed him over.

James grunted in irritation and pushed me back, hard. “Shut up!” he screamed. “I’m not a damn killer!” he yelled.

“Then what the hell are you?” I asked, venom and hate spitting out of my tone.

His breathing calmed down a bit. “To know that, you’ll have to know everything,” he says calmly.

My eyebrows knit together in suspicion. “What the hell are you talking about?” I asked.

“Logan wasn’t happy when you—White Wolf—beat him in that match. He wanted revenge—we all did—because you had dishonored our leader. A price comes with that, Claire.

“When I found out it was you, I was shocked to say the least. I’ll say you sure moved on from the shy exterior I last saw. You were beautiful, sexy, feisty, and strong.

“I admired you, Claire. But Logan was still my leader, my boss if you must. And I follow his orders first.

“But first things first, we can avoid everything if you just join Deadly Snakes. Then, we can be together. You won’t have to get hurt, and you’ll get twice as much money as before.

“You’ll be an amazing person for Deadly Snakes, Claire. So, what do you say?” he asked, a small smile on his lips.

For a split second, I was reminded of the James I thought I knew. I was reminded of the happy, carefree James I once knew.

Just like that, everything fell apart. This James was a stranger. He wasn’t my James.

“Never,” I shot back.

That was all it took for James to sigh and shake his head. “I thought you’d be smarter than this. But orders are orders.” With a snap of his fingers, chaos erupted.

The first thing I felt was a punch to my lower abdomen, right where my scar was. I hissed and doubled over. But I didn’t fight back. I stood there, taking the punches and kicks.

I was too numb to feel anything anyway. I was pushed and beaten until I was barely conscious. I could see James’s black leather boots in front of me. Slowly, my broken eyes slid up to his blank brown ones.

I couldn’t say anything though. I was being shoved and punched too violently to keep my eyes trained on him. I could just make out someone—Logan—stand next to James though, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Everything began to blur and I found myself thrown to the ground. A sharp breath left my lips. I felt broken, mentally and physically.

I was struggling to keep my eyes open as I watched James walk over to me, with Logan. They bent down until they were eye level with me and Logan gave me a wet kiss on the cheek.

“So beautiful.” He traced his hand along my bruised face. “All of this could’ve been avoided if you’d just say yes,” Logan said, cupping my face roughly.

I screamed in pain as I felt his fingers dig into my skin.

“It doesn’t matter though. You would’ve died either way.” He threw my head against the tile flooring. Another scream left my lips. All this pain, all this blood, all this brokenness was getting to me quickly.

Logan got up and left the room, with everyone else, besides James.

James leaned his head above me. His hands gently took hold of my face as he cupped my cheeks. Slowly, he brought his lips to my ear.

“I’ll always love you,” he whispered, his voice seeming to break at the end. Then, without warning, he pressed his lips to mine in a chaste kiss.

When he pulled back, my eyes were rolling to the back of my head.

James left me there. Broken, pained, and alone. Again. My heart ached all over again and my body lay there, limp and broken on the floor.

Guess I never really knew James as well as I thought.