Chapter 53: : Chapter 53

“Are you okay?” Tyra asks as I put on my shoes, feeling numb. I’ve barely slept, my mind replaying Serenity’s words over and over again, torturing me endlessly. “You were twisting and turning all night. Is it…is it uncomfortable to sleep next to me? I’m sorry, Archer. I just…I just feel so safe when you’re with me. That night they brought me here was the first time I slept through the night since—”

She’s trembling, almost as though she’s scared to speak up, to voice her worries. My heart squeezes painfully as I straighten, throwing her the sweetest smile I can muster. “I’m fine, I promise. Just a bit tired.”

She steps closer, and I freeze when she straightens my tie for me. “I know you better than I know myself,” she says, her voice breaking. “I notice the way you tense just slightly every time I touch you, almost like you’re trying not to recoil. I know something happened yesterday and that you’re upset, and I really hate that you’re trying to hide it from me. I just…I just want to forget, and I want things to be the way they used to be. I want to be the person you talk to when you’re worried, the one you instinctively reach for, but I…”

Guilt twists its knife in my heart, and I hesitate before wrapping my hands around her arms. “I just don’t want to add to your mental load,” I tell her when, deep down, I wish I could remind her that we broke up before she went missing, and going back to what we used to have is just going to make both of us unhappy. I’d never say it, but the words are constantly on the tip of my tongue. I keep them under lock and key, reminding myself over and over again that it’d hurt her unnecessarily, all for a tiny reprieve of the guilt I’m feeling, and it isn’t worth it. She deserves my support in whatever way she needs it, and I need to do better.

“I’ll heal,” she tells me. “My mind isn’t broken, I swear. I’ll probably never dance again, and maybe I won’t ever be the girl I was before, but with you by my side, I can overcome my fears, and I can learn to live again. The only reason I’m still here is because I’ve fought to survive that hellhole, and I’ll continue fighting, for myself, for us. So please…don’t give up on me, Arch, and don’t coddle me either. Don’t treat me like I’m breakable.”

“I’m not trying to coddle you,” I murmur, gently tucking her hair behind her ear. “If anything, I’m in awe of your strength, Tyra. I’m proud of you, and I’m just trying to support you in the best way I can. Tell me, sweetheart. What do you need?”

She places her hand against my chest, right over my heart, and it instantly reminds me of Serenity. Just like that, pure agony rushes through me, and I do my best to school my features, to focus on Tyra instead of the memory of Serenity ending things with me. It’s near impossible for me not to recoil at her touch when deep down, I know that she’s the only reason Serenity walked away. Ultimately, Serenity chose Tyra over me, and I can’t even blame her for it.

“I just need you,” she says, her voice soft, hopeful. “I need you to treat me like you used to.”

I nod hesitantly, unsure I can give her what she’s asking for yet entirely unable to deny her when it’s clear it took courage for her to even voice her needs. “I’ll do my best,” I whisper.

She nods and steps back, and I force a smile before walking out the door, hating myself for my own selfishness. I should follow Serenity’s wishes and example by putting Tyra first, but all I want to do is beg my girlfriend not to leave me, the whole world be damned. I’m not the man Serenity thinks I am, but fuck, I have to try to be. It’s all I can think about on the way to work. I need to do the right thing and be there for Tyra. She was there for me during one of the hardest parts of my life, and I have to be there for her in the same way. I owe it to her.

“Archer?”

My heart soars at the sound of Serenity’s voice, and I pause halfway to my office, hope blossoming in my chest. “Hi,” I murmur, drinking her in. She’s fucking gorgeous today, in that cream blouse and black pencil skirt, and it hurts to look at her knowing she’s no longer mine.

“Mr. Harrison,” she corrects herself, shaking her head. “Could I have a word, please?”

I tense, forcing myself into the professional role she expects me to play as I lead her to my office, my heart hammering in my chest. Did she change her mind? Did she toss and turn all night like I did, realizing that being together secretly is better than not being together at all?

She walks into my office and pauses halfway into the room when I close the door behind me. Serenity turns to face me, and for the first time in a very long time, I can’t read her expression. She doesn’t smile the way she normally does when we’re alone, and she doesn’t look at me that way I like, like she knows I belong to her.

“I’m resigning.”

My stomach drops, and I take a step toward her. “No.” I can’t lose her entirely. I need these little glimpses of her. I need our conversations and little excuses to drive her home so I get her to myself for just a few moments.

“I’ve already put in my two-week notice, and I’m moving out too. I know Ezra is moving back into his own place soon, but I’m not moving with him. I’m leaving, and I wanted you to hear it from me.”

“Serenity,” I murmur, helplessness rushing through me as I lift my hand to her face. “Don’t leave me. Please, don’t do this.”

Her expression cracks, and I take a step closer to her, thankful that she’s letting me. “I can’t be here and watch you with her. I know it’s exactly what I’m asking you to do, but my heart can’t take it, Archer. I can’t be around to watch you get over me and rekindle what you lost.”

I pull her against me, reveling in the feel of her body against mine. “I’ll never get over you, Serenity. This thing between us is what I’ve always been searching for, what was missing in every relationship before you. You leaving won’t change that.”

She looks at me like she doesn’t believe me, and I don’t know how to make her understand that she is it for me, despite everything. “I’ll give it all up for you,” I tell her. “The company. Ezra. Everything. I don’t need any of it as much as I need you, Sera.”

Her arms slide around my neck, and she looks up, tears in her eyes. “You know it’s not that simple. It’s not just the company or Ezra, and you know it.”

I drop my forehead to hers, wishing I could make her stay and knowing she won’t. “Please,” I whisper, dipping my head until my lips brush against hers. “Please.”

Her fingers slide up my neck and into my hair, and then she rises to her tiptoes, her lips meeting mine. I groan as I tighten my grip on her, my hands roaming over her body as I part her lips with my tongue.

She moans, and my heart begins to race as desire rushes through my body. Serenity gasps when I lift her up, taking a moment to move her skirt enough so her legs can wrap around my hips as I carry her to my desk, my movements filled with desperation, almost like every fiber in my body knows this’ll be the last time I get to have her.

My breath hitches when I slide my hands underneath her skirt to find her wearing those stockings I love, and I pull back to look at them, my breathing erratic. “Fuck,” I moan as she reaches for my slacks and undoes them, that same desperation in her eyes. She looks at me like she thinks she’ll never see me again, and it fucking kills me.

My eyes flutter closed when her soft fingers wrap around my cock, and I push her panties aside impatiently as she lines me up. “I love you,” I whisper as I push into her, my thumb pressed against her clit. “I love you so fucking much, Serenity. I always will.”

Her head falls back when I thrust into her, making her take all of me. I’m near delirious with the need to mark her, to make her remember me no matter where she goes. My touch is rough as I push her to the edge of an orgasm, enjoying every pant, every moan. I commit it all to memory, terrified this is the last time I’ll witness her lose control for me like that. “I can’t,” she pleads, her hips rocking.

“You will,” I tell her. “Come for me, darling. Show me my favorite sight. Make me the happiest man alive, even if it’s only for a moment.”

She obeys my command, her pussy contracting around me in that way I just can’t resist. I moan, not giving a damn about the sounds we’re making as I come right along with her, my forehead dropping to hers. How am I supposed to live without this connection between us? How am I supposed to live without her?

“Stay,” I whisper. “Please stay.”

She pulls back to look at me, her breathing uneven. “I love you,” she whispers. “I love you, and I’m sorry.”

“You love me,” I repeat, bitterness bleeding into my voice as I pull out of her. “But you love her more.”

My heart fucking shatters when she doesn’t refute my words, regret written all over her face.