Chapter 54: : Chapter 54

“Excellent job,” Mark says, his eyes roaming over my face, a hint of pride in his eyes. “You’ve grown so much in the time you’ve been working here. Truly, I don’t know of any other design intern that’s so rapidly become invaluable. It’s a shame you’re leaving.”

I force a smile, glad my misery isn’t obvious. I get it now—why Archer was so obsessed with work for so long. It’s an endless loop of adding things and crossing them off to-do lists, and I love that, always have. It keeps my mind off the things I don’t want to think about, and it keeps me from walking into Archer’s office and telling him that I miss him.

The last couple of days have been tough as I started to pack my bags, neither of us sure how to act around each other anymore, and all the while, we’re both trying to be there for Tyra in our own ways. It’s hard to smile through the pain, and I’m glad I won’t have to do it for much longer anymore.

“Serenity?”

I look up to find Theo walking back in from lunch with a huge, beautiful bouquet of tulips in one hand, a vase in the other. He spent all morning trying to convince me to have lunch with him, but I’ve been too listless to even pretend, and the thought of having to make conversation was just too much for me.

“For you,” he says, handing me the bouquet.

I stare at it, taking in the gorgeous tulips with wide eyes. “For me?” I repeat dumbly.

He chuckles and places it in the vase for me. “Yeah, Ser. For you.” He glances back at me, a sweet smile on his face. “I thought it’d make you smile.” He leans against my desk and reaches for me, his touch gentle as he cups my face. “I’m not sure what’s going on, but the way you’ve been focusing on work isn’t normal, and I’m worried about you.”

I lean into his touch, needing the comfort he’s offering me. Truth be told, I missed him. I missed our friendship and knowing that there was one person in the world who understands, even when I can’t find the right words to explain what I’m feeling, what’s bothering me.

“I’m sorry,” he says, his voice filled with regret.

“For what?”

His hand moves to my hair, and he gently wraps one of my curls around his finger, the movement so reminiscent of Archer’s usual tenderness that it nearly brings tears to my eyes. “For allowing this distance to form between us. It’s why I never even tried dating anyone, you know? Because the thought of anything changing between us wasn’t worth it. It never has been. If not for the way…” He shakes his head. “Never mind. All I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry things changed between us when I promised myself they never would. I’m going to do everything in my power to get us back to where we were, and if I’m lucky…maybe somewhere even better.”

I see the hope in his eyes, and just a few months ago, it’d have been everything I’d ever wanted. I’d be lying if I said that no part of me wants to see the dreams I’ve had for years materialize, but somehow the dreams I had before pale in comparison to the reality of Archer.

“Hey,” Theo says, his voice soft, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him. “What did you say?”

His expression falls, and he sighs. “You know, not long ago, I’d have known exactly what you were thinking without even having to ask. Now I don’t even know where to begin wondering. The worst part is that I did this to myself by not prioritizing our friendship when I told both myself and you that I would.”

“No,” I tell him, reaching for him. “No, Theo. I…I’ve just…” I look into his eyes, unable to explain myself when there’s so much he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know about Archer and me, nor does he know about Tyra. I wouldn’t even have told him about the burst pipe and Ezra and me moving in with Archer if he hadn’t mentioned it. “God, you’re right,” I murmur, a deep kind of loneliness settling deep in my chest. He was always the first person I turned to when anything happened, even if it was only to talk.

He grabs my hand and holds it tightly. “Let me be there for you now,” he says, his tone pleading. “Let me make up for my absence.”

I smile at him. “Don’t be ridiculous,” I reply. “There’s nothing you have to make up for. Friendships are a two-way street, you know? I’m as much to blame as you are.”

He draws circles across the back of my hand with his thumb, his gaze searching. “Let me take you out for dinner,” he says, his voice soft. “You don’t have to answer the question I asked you if you aren’t ready, but let’s just spend some time together. It’s been so long since it felt like we were just us.”

“I can’t,” I tell him gently. “I’m sorry. Maybe some other time?”

He squeezes my hand, his expression pleading. “I thought it might be nice to go to that little Italian place you put on your list of places to visit here.” My heart wrenches at the thought of everything on my list I know he’s done with Kristen. “I’ve never been before,” he adds, almost like he just read my expression.

I smile at him ruefully, silently lamenting the loss of everything I thought we’d experience together. There are so many places he probably can’t go to without thinking of Kristen, and similarly, there are so many things I’ll never be able to do without thinking of Archer. I should’ve known, even back when I made that stupid list. Archer Harrison isn’t the kind of man you forget. He isn’t someone you can walk away from without leaving part of yourself behind.

“A dinner date, huh?”

My head snaps up at the sound of Archer’s voice and I find him standing a few paces away, his face moving from my face to the hand Theo is holding. My heart clenches painfully when I see the pain in his eyes, the silent accusations.

“Mr. Harrison,” Theo says, his tone polite.

Archer doesn’t even acknowledge him; he just stares at me, his broken heart on display for me.

“Serenity,” he says, my name a quiet plea on his lips. Archer looks at me like I hold his heart in my hands, and I’m squeezing a little too tightly, slowly killing him. He looks at me like he loves me more than anything. Will that look fade in time? Will I come back here someday and find him looking at Tyra like that, like he always used to?

Archer lowers his gaze and forces a smile. “I’d meant to ask you if you were available to work overtime tonight, but never mind. You two enjoy your date.”

He turns and walks away before I can refute his words, and it leaves me feeling empty. “I can’t do dinner,” I tell Theo, my eyes on Archer’s retreating back. “Ezra told me I don’t have to complete my notice period, so I’m leaving tonight.”

“I missed my chance, didn’t I?” Theo says, drawing my gaze back to him.

I hesitate and look away, not wanting to hurt him. “I’m sorry, Theo.”

He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I’ll wait,” he tells me, his voice soft. “I’ll wait for you to get over him, no matter how long it takes.”

I stare at him wide-eyed, and he throws me a shaky smile.

“You look at him the way you used to look at me,” he says. “I tried to ignore it, pretended not to notice…but how could I not? I’ve always known you better than anyone else. I’ll be there, Serenity. In a few months, or even years down the line. Maybe the time just isn’t right for us now, but maybe someday it will be. I’ll wait forever for a chance to be with you.”

“Don’t,” I tell him, gently rejecting him the best way I can. “Don’t wait for me, Theo. Forever isn’t long enough for me to forget about Archer.”